Title: This is the only way
Author: Chickee1
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Based on the episode "Out of Chute" if things had gone differently.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from House Md. This is for pure entertainment reasons.
Author's Note: It's been awhile since I've posted anything so this is my first attempt at a House Md fanfiction. I couldn't help but think if the episode had gone a bit differently. Italics are House speaking in thought. Be Kind...R/R!
I wouldn't admit it if anyone asked but I was broken. She didn't want me and it was my fault. I couldn't be the man she wanted. And no matter how hard I tried I couldn't be the man she needed me to be. I told her that no matter what I would always choose her, that I would choose loving her over losing her. But that's exactly what happened; I lost her. With everything I had, I had hoped she wouldn't find out about the vicodin, but in the end it's why I lost her. I chose drugs over trying to be the better human being she knew I could be, over trying to be a supportive boyfriend when she needed me to be. In the end I couldn't do it.
She wouldn't have known but I had planned to propose to her on our one year anniversary. I was ready to be a good husband to her and a good father to Rachel. I know I've screwed up more time then I can possibly count, but every time she was there for me; helping me pick up the pieces.
But now I've lost all that. She doesn't want me and it's my fault. I was so unhappy before I had her that when I finally did get a chance despite my happiness I couldn't make it last. If she doesn't want me, I don't want me.
I will always love Lisa Cuddy despite what others may say or think. She was the truly the one and only women who could accept me for who and what I am, and I screwed it up.
This is the only way,
Greg.
As House finished he folded and placed the letter on the desk beside the empty vicodin bottle. His hands began to shake as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small valvet box and placed it on top of the folded letter. He began to limp towards the edge of the balcony; taking in the fresh air he noticed the bodies below him. They all seemed happy compared to his utter unhappiness. He takes a hold of the ceiling of the balcony above him to sturdy his balance as he steps onto the stool he had placed earlier before reaching the top bar on the railing. Amongst the crowd below he notices a familiar face; Wilson. Even being so high up he can see the pain on Wilsons face as if Wilson knows his pain and what he is about to do. A single tear falls from the eyes of Gregory House as he takes his final step off the balcony...