AN: So, I actually wrote this a few years ago for a creative writing class. I changed the names, of course, so my teacher wouldn't know it was fanfic, but it was fanfic. I just never got around to posting it online. It's not my best, but I hope you guys enjoy this little au!
Disclaimer: I do not own Carmilla.
The bar was almost empty by the time Danny arrived, fidgeting with the clothes she had changed into while at stop lights and stop signs on the way over. Guilt ate at her, flushing her face as red as her hair as she looked for her friend. She had been the one to ask Laura to this emergency meeting, ignoring the other woman's questions about why they needed to meet in such an out of the way place and just begging her to be there, and now she was the one running late.
She'd buy her a drink to make up for it once she found her. If she ever found her.
Her frown deepening, Danny started to walk through the bar, glancing into each booth as she passed, hoping to find her tiny little friend hidden somewhere between them, only unable to be seen from the door because she was so short. Or, as Laura liked to say whenever they all teased her, 'vertically challenged.' Either way, it made trying to locate her when she wasn't with someone else from the group difficult.
"Ginger Giant, over here."
"Shit," Danny whispered under her breath as she turned to face the voice, forcing a smile when she found the speaker. The speaker who was literally the last person she wanted to see in this kind of situation. Or ever, really, unless it was in the middle of a bar fight or the weekly game nights the group had, both places Danny could beat that cocky smirk off of Carmilla's face.
"Are you going to sit down and order a drink, or stand there and smile at me like a fucking idiot all night?"
Carmilla was…rough, to say the least. She was the kind of person who would punch someone in the face for looking at her wrong, then continue to punch until they couldn't think straight and couldn't pick her out of a lineup. A security guard for some company that Danny could never remember the name of that was probably involved in something illegal, Carm didn't look like much, but she was terrifying.
A great sparring partner, when they both just wanted to beat something-meaning each other-into a bloody pulp, but not the greatest of friends.
"I thought you were working nights, Short One," Danny said as she slid into the booth, ignoring the glare Carmilla shot at her in favor of counting the number of empty shot glasses scattered before her. "And please tell me at least one of the five shot glasses I'm counting is Laura's. And that the glass of water is yours. You're going to kill your liver if you say no to both."
"You know she doesn't like tequila," Carmilla said with a roll of her eyes, beckoning the waitress who was cleaning the table across from them over. With a polite, fake smile she quickly ordered another round of drinks- another shot for herself, another water for the absent Laura, and a beer for Danny, ignoring her when Danny protested about Carmilla ordering for her. "And when I heard that you asked Laura to come meet you in a place like this," Carmilla continued when the waitress had gone, "I took the night off of work to come with her. What were you thinking? Did you get kicked out of the usual place, and that's why you asked my girlfriend to come to this pit?"
"Like this is the worse place you've ever gone drinking," Danny scoffed. Compared to some of the places Carmilla had hung out in during college, this place was almost a five star restaurant. The tables were clean, the lighting was descent, and it didn't smell like piss.
"With Laura, yeah, this is the worse place we've gone drinking," Carmilla replied, glaring holes into the table. "She almost didn't want to come in. She wanted to call you and ask to go to this little café she found on Fourth instead. Me being here was the only reason she agreed to come inside."
"Where is Laura, anyway," Danny asked, straightening her back so she could glance around the bar, hoping to catch sight of the small blonde somewhere nearby. She was getting tired of Carmilla's company. While bearable when Laura was there to 'smooth out her roughened edges,' Carmilla's presence was best when they were trying to kill each other.
"She's-"
"Danny! You're here!"
"Hey, Laura," Danny said with a genuine smile as she turned in her seat to watch the blonde. Laura, like always, had her hair pulled up into a bun, the loose strands pinned back with the little flower clips she had started to make one day while bored. The owner of a little flower shop near the center of town, it was with a little bounce in her step that Laura returned to their booth and slid in next to her girlfriend, kissing Carmilla on the cheek while nudging her to scoot over more so she was comfortably in the seat.
How the hell the two of them made it work, Danny would never be able to understand. But both were happy, if the way Laura automatically snuggled into Carmilla's side and the small, real smile that graced the grumpy one's face when she did meant anything.
"Sorry to keep you guys waiting," Laura said apologetically, leaning forward to grab her drink. "Perry called to ask about the flower arrangements for her and LaFontaine's wedding next month. Apparently, even though they agreed they wanted tiger lilies and roses, they're now considering carnations and forget-me-nots, and wanted to make sure I hadn't started ordering the flowers for the arrangements yet. Hope you haven't been waiting long."
"I should be apologizing to you, Laura," Danny laughed. "I'm the one who's an hour later after asking you to close up early and meet me here."
"And why was it you did that," Carmilla asked, sipping her shot instead of downing it like she was supposed to. "Please, explain why we're sitting here when I could be at work, or we could be on our couch having se-"
"Carmilla, stop it," Laura hissed, elbowing her laughing girlfriend in the side while trying to hide her blush. "Don't be crude."
"It's about Betty."
Both women went still when Danny mentioned her wife, and when she didn't immediately launch into telling them whatever crazy event had happened with her love this week at the gym where she was a personal trainer, their faces grew grim.
"You're…you're not going to ask her for a divorce, are you, Danny," Laura asked slowly, carefully choosing her words. "Because if you are, and you want advice on how to go about it, I need to leave. Betty's my best friend, and I can't be part of something like that."
"Get a divorce," Danny asked, confusion written on her face, "hell no! No no no, Laura, it's nothing like that. It's more…" Danny trailed off as the waitress returned with the drink Carmilla had ordered, all three muttering thanks as she placed them down, the conversation lulling until she was gone. "It's more that, well," Danny stuttered as she played with the beer before her.
"I think Betty wants a baby."
"Eww," Carmilla grimaced, practically shuddering at the thought of children. "Grimy, screaming, crying little germ factories. Why would she want one again?"
"Because they're sweet," Laura replied, poking Carmilla's side. "And you said 'think,'" she continued, looking back at Danny. "Why do you think she wants one? Did she ever say anything?"
"Not really," Danny said, running her hand through her hair and sighing. "But she's been…she's been doing that thing that she does. Leaving all these little hints. Like remember when she wanted us to move in together when we were still dating? How she left all of those websites about apartments open on her computer, how she had us go to an open house 'for fun,' how she left all the newspapers in my dorm open to the 'for rent and sale' listings? All those little hints and pieces until I figured out what she wanted and brought up the topic for discussion. She's doing the same thing now. She's been knitting, guys. When was the last time you saw her knitting?"
"When Perry got that damn yappy little dog," Carmilla offered, her head tilting to the side as she thought. "About six months ago, wasn't it? That's when Laura and I had to babysit the thing for a week, and Betty had a sweater for it by the time Perry and LaF got back from their trip."
"Yes," Danny said slowly, thinking for a few moments before shaking her head. "But before that, the last time she knitted something, it was when her cousin for pregnant. Remember how she made all those little blankets and shoes and that little hat? With the pompom? Well, she's doing it again. She's knitted a teddy bear and a bandana and a leash for some reason and three blankets and four of those little boots. Why, I'm not sure, but she made them, all within the last few weeks." Stopping to take a sip of her beer, Danny ended up downing half the bottle, her voice rising in pitch as she continued to talk.
"And she literally sent me an e-mail called 'Older Adoption Options' which I just deleted, and she's been looking at blogs of pictures of babies and puppies being cute together and this morning she asked me if there was a name I liked. Laura, Carmilla, we haven't said a single word about this, and she's already asking about names." Burying her face into her hands, Danny let out a small, pitiful little laugh. "She's making all these plans already, and I'm not even ready to be a mom yet. Not for at least another few years. We haven't even talked about what the kid would call us. Mom and Mommy? Mother and Optimus Prime? I have no fucking clue."
"Danny, stop it." Surprised, Danny glanced up at Carmilla, who, for once, had dropped the nicknames and was being serious. "You're freaking yourself out, and over what?" Carmilla asked. "The possibility that Betty might want to start talking about having a family with you? You've been married two years, that's not outside the realm of possibility. But talking about it doesn't mean it's going to happen tomorrow. And it's not like it's going to be unplanned," Carmilla added with a smirk, her eyes darting down to where Danny's crouch would be had the table not been in the way. "Don't know if you've noticed, Ginger, but you and Fitness Queen don't have compatible bits. Meaning if you did sit down and talk about this, it's not happening anytime soon. So why the hell are you freaking out?"
"Because what if… I don't know," Danny finally admitted, a few deep breaths during her pause giving her the moment she needed to calm down, at least partly. "So what if we do talk about this, and in one, two, five years we do have a kid? I know nothing about being a mom. Not like I ever had one to teach me how to do this. I could be a fantastic dad, but that's not going to happen. And since Betty's mom is dead, it's not like we can talk to her about this. So what if we screw up this kid and it hates us for the rest of its life?"
"We would help, Danny," Laura said with a soft smile, reaching out and laying her hand on the table. When Danny took it, Laura interlaced their fingers and squeezed. "You know my Mom loves you guys. She's adored Betty ever since we were roommates freshman year, and she'd be more than happy to give you guys tips. Plus, Perry is literally getting her Masters in early childhood development, so there's that. So long as LaFontaine doesn't let the child near any dangerous chemicals, they would be a great babysitter. And there's always Kirsch. I know you haven't always agreed with your brother, but he would make a great uncle. And as much as this one complains," Laura said, her free elbow digging slightly into Carmilla's side, "you know both of us would be more than happy to make sure that any children you have turn out okay."
Danny blinked quickly, trying to clear her vision so her friends would stop being blurry. Using her free hand to wipe at her eyes, she laughed when Carmilla handed her a napkin to use instead.
"Don't get me wrong," Carmilla said, rolling her eyes. "It just kills my appetite when you start getting snotty. And right now I feel like I could go for a burger." Gently nudging Laura out of the seat, for a moment Carmilla swayed as she stood, trying to find her balance after sitting for so long and drinking. "And I think you, Ginger Giant, have a Fitness Queen to go have a conversation with."
Laura wrapped her arm around Carmilla's waist to steady her, smiling at her before returning her attention to Danny. "Do you need me to drive you anywhere? Or call someone to come get you?"
"No," Danny said, her voice cracking on the word. Clearing her throat, she shook her head and replied again. "No, thank you. I'm good. I haven't even had a full one," Danny continued when Laura looked skeptical, holding up and shaking the beer to show it was only half empty. Reaching over the table, she grabbed Laura's second undrunk water and pulled it over to her. "I'll drink this, sit for a while, and head straight home. I can be on the phone the entire time, if you want."
"Don't leave for an hour, eat something breaded, drink two glasses of water, and just text me before you leave and when you get home," Laura finally said with a sigh. "Betty would kill me if I let her become a widow. Promise?"
"Promise." To prove that she was, Danny reached over and grabbed the menu, flipping it open to a random page to see if there was anything good. "I'll text the moment I leave and the moment I get home, okay?"
"Thank you," Laura said, visibly relieved that someone for once was doing something she said. Letting go of Carmilla, Laura leaned down to press a quick kiss to Danny's cheek and whisper in her ear. "Good luck, and don't stress out, okay? It's going to be fine. I just know it."
"Thanks."
"I don't like it when you kiss other women," Carmilla said loudly as Laura gently tugged her to the door, loud enough for the pout to be heard in her voice. "Don't like it at all. …do you think we should get a cat?"
Danny just laughed and went back to looking at the menu as the couple left for home.
The house was quiet by the time Danny got home, not even the TV muttering in the background to break the silence. Slipping off her shoes, she carefully put her briefcase down so it wouldn't make a noise, the work clothes she had folded over her arm joining the case on the ground. Padding through the house, for once she was glad that Betty had convinced her to have thick carpets installed instead of the crappy tile the house had had when they had bought it- it was hard to keep clean, but at least it was quiet.
It didn't take her long to find her wife. Curled up on their couch, huddled under a blanket, Betty was softly snoring, a book half open on the ottoman before her.
"Betty," Danny said softly as she slid the blanket off of her wife, biting back a laugh as Betty grumbled in annoyance at the loss of the warmth. "Sweetie, come on. It's time for bed."
"No," Betty growled, curling into a smaller ball. When Danny tried to touch her again, Betty waved her away, opening one eye to glare up at her wife. "Want to sleep here. Go away."
"And leave my space heater out here, where I can't steal your warmth," Danny teased, poking at her wife's side. "Not a chance. Come on, grab your book and I'll carry you to bed. What're you reading, anyway?"
"Dog Training for Kids," Betty said through a yawn, grabbing her book and shifting so that, when Danny knelt down before her, she could climb onto Danny's back, her arms wrapping around Danny's neck as she placed a kiss onto her shoulder. "It has a lot of good tips."
"Speaking of kids…" Danny carefully stood, making sure she was balanced before setting off. Down the hall, up the stairs, careful to avoid the part of the carpet that always stuck out that they always forgot to fix, and into their bedroom, where she gently let Betty down on her side of bed. "We should really have that talk you've been hinting about if we want to start planning children."
"Children?" In an instant Betty was awake, her eyes wide with panic as she stared at Danny. "What children? I've been hinting that I want a dog, not a kid!"
"A…a dog," Danny said slowly, a short, surprise bark of laugh forcing itself from her. "The knitting, the e-mail, the asking me about a name was all about a dog?"
"Yes!" Betty said, standing up so she could pace around the room, twisting her wedding ring around her finger as she did. "Last time Kirsch came over, he talked about how his ex-girlfriend got a dog, and I mentioned we should get one, and you agreed! I've been doing all of this so when we finally decided to go and get one we'd be prepared. Didn't you look at the e-mail I sent you? Why did you think I knitted a leash? Danny, what have you been thinking for the past month?"
"I thought you wanted a baby," Danny laughed, sitting down on the bed. "That's why I got home so late. I asked Laura-and since they're always a pair, Carmilla-to meet me at a shitty bar because I've been freaking out about you wanted us to be parents!" Flopping back onto the bed, Danny laughed again, her arms folding over her face to cover her eyes. "I can't believe this was all over a dog."
"I'm sorry?" Betty said hesitantly, sitting down next to Danny. "I thought you remembered agreeing that we wanted one."
"I don't even remember half of what happened that night," Danny admitted. "You know how pissed off I get at how much of a dumbass Kirsch is. All I could think about was how much Kirsch had to have fucked up to mess things up with his ex. And how much money he was going to ask us for for beer and a taxi ride home. I was actually surprised when he didn't." Holding out her arms, Danny beckoned Betty towards her, wrapping her arms around her wife and holding her close. "No kids, at least for a while. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Betty said, resting her head on Danny's chest. "No children for quite a while."
For a long while the two just laid there on their bed, curled into each other as they rested. Every once in a while Danny had to bite her tongue to keep her laughter in. How was she going to explain all of this to Laura and Carmilla, after everything she had put them through this night?
She owed them, big time.
"You're still okay with us getting a dog, right?"
All Danny could do was laugh and kiss her wife, nodding her agreement for them to get a dog.