Disclaimer: Fairy Tales are old classics and belong to everyone. The genius that is the Very Secret Diaries (for Lord of the Rings) sadly does not belong to me.
The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood
Day One
Mum gave me picnic basket and red cape.
I think she's going to pawn me off to wealthy businessmen.
Stupid Mum
Day Two
Am going to Grandma's.
Odd name for wealthy businessman.
Must discuss this with him when I get there.
V. nervous.
Day Three
Okay, found out it's my real grandmother.
I fail to see the humour in this.
Slightly disappointed.
Day Four
Found pretty flowers!
Yay me!
Day Five
It gets cold at night, sleeping on the road. A hare took a liking to me. Scared it away with Mum's five-day-old egg salad sandwich.
Basket becoming rancid. Left it on side of road.
Day Six
Very hungry. No food.
Must resort to pretty flowers.
Day Seven
Thinking Mum was trying to get me out of the house. Shouldn't take this long to get to Grandma's.
Flowers not v. tasty.
Day Eight
Pretty flowers gone. Grass poor alternative.
Am afraid I will have to resort to asking for directions.
Day Nine
Met nice wolf. He got me more flowers to eat. Much tastier than the others.
Complimented my cape.
Thinking he might believe I'm something I'm not.
Day Ten
Tried special cape powers after climbing tree.
I cannot fly.
Day Eleven
Ran into wolf again. He calls me "Little Red Riding Hood".
Am slightly scared.
Day Twelve
Arrived at Grandma's. Wolf disappeared.
No one home. Will sleep in garden.
Day Thirteen
Was attacked by savage slugs in garden. They ate my non-magical cape.
Am v. sad.
Wolf is Grandma. I am ashamed.
Mum will nag me for not knowing my relatives.
Day Twelve
Grandma ate me. Am thinking wolf may not be real grandmother.
Ew.
Day Thirteen
Hot in here. Keep ramming my knee into something made of glass and filled with liquid.
Someone has a drinking problem.
V. hungry. No flowers to eat.
Day Fourteen
Was rescued by virile woodcutter man. I had no cape to flaunt, v. sad. He seemed to like Grandma.
Hussy.
Oh yeah, wolf's dead.
Yeah...nothing's as good as the original diaries (even though this isn't Lord of the Rings). But please review anyway!
