Standard disclaimers apply.
Did I ever think, when I was little, that I would grow up doing what I'm doing now? Shit, man, why the hell not? Allies of justice, right, what every kid in Japan was brainwashed to become by one Kamen Rider or another. 'Course, sooner or later it would be beaten out of most systems by pre-adolescent bullies; they call it a part of growing up. The average brat that was me was no exception.
My childhood was pleasant enough. I had a brother 7 years older than myself, so I was in a state of laisser faire for the most part. Our mother died early; our father sent us to the best schools in Tokyo but otherwise left us alone. That is, until Kagi-nii made it clear that he wasn't interested in inheriting the IT giant at the heart of Tokyo. He'd moved out of the house and studied Chemistry at Tokyo U. I was 12 at the time. That same year Naoko-san had married into the family; two years later we had a baby sister out of her. Her name was Igawa Mika.
Mi, for beauty. Ka, for well-being. She was our little precious, loved by us all.
---
The year Mika turned 6 I was finally accepted into Tokyo U. I went for the awesome-sounding Integrated Materials Engineering and Computing. My old man had liked Business Management a whole lot better, but a major with the longest name in the Undergrad Calendar that made no sense and looked like it was made up by drawing words out of a hat – that was more to my liking. I rented a place with a sempai I knew from cram school and visited home whenever I wanted; and yet, on days when the damn lovebirds decide to nest at home, my only refuge was Kagi-nii's apartment.
People saw Kagi-nii as a cold, stoic, and maybe occasionally sarcastic guy. Well he wasn't, not really; he was more like a cross between don't-give-a-damn and too-lazy-to-try. That he might, that he could have had a lover – the possibility did not even cross me. So the evening I casually walked in his apartment like usual, and saw my ice-cube of a brother nailing another man on the couch with his knee, I had practically turned into stone.
Kagi-nii didn't even notice me until his lover blushed profusely and squirmed violently under him. As soon as Kagi-nii loosened up, the guy pushed him off and scurried out the door. Kagi-nii sat on the carpet looking at me, laughed a little, sighed a little, and chased after his lover with his coat, glasses and (I learned later) hearing aid. I did not know what to do.
When Kagi-nii returned I stuttered. "Wh-wh-wh-what the hell was that? Who was that? What – is the world turning without me?" I could never look at the couch the same way again.
"His name is Kei. You can call him Kei-san. He's a sempai in Environmental Science." Kagi-nii had returned to his usual, no-shit expression.
"Environmental Sci?" How did they even meet? "Their building is miles away from the Chem Department!"
Only a couple hundred yards, actually, but Kagi-nii was an undergrad once too. He understood that having a boyfriend/girlfriend in a different residence was enough to call it a long distance relationship. "We have joint seminars every month," and he considered it case closed. "By the way, Ryou. I am going to change the lock on that door," he pointed. "This time, please leave the spare key where it is?"
I must've walked out on Kagi-nii in a stunned daze; when I came to I was standing under tiers of blinking neon lights, strangely alone in the massive crowd that was downtown Tokyo. I hugged my coat around me and trudged towards my apartment building; better to disturb a loving couple of Iraya and Rose than my own father and step-mother. Along the way I dimly registered the month we were in: February. Valentine's Day was just around the corner. I cussed. The world was not a friendly place for a 20-year-old, single, man.
---
That night was not a trigger of anything; the truth stands that the Earth does not need a fluttering butterfly to lurch in its course, and the behemoth-beneath-still-water will move with or without a wake-up call from above. If anything, that night merely marked the end of the carefree, naïve Igawa Ryotarou; the end of a rosy vigorousness that spoke of hope. The end of nights that belonged truly to me.
The end of nights that smelled faintly of love.