Author's Note: I do not - as of yet - have an updating schedule and so chapters will be added when they are completed. When this story begins to progress I will decide whether or not to update weekly or monhtly. For now, however, please enjoy!
Neither of them said a word as they were sat together in the sitting room of their cottage later that evening, John settled in his armchair with a book as there was a steaming cup of tea sat on the table beside him and Anna was curled up on the settee with her mending. He tried not to worry about her; tried not to brood, but ever since she had sobbed in his arms in the boot room after revealing to him that she had lost their baby earlier that evening, he had been unable to think about anything else but her. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he glanced up at her for the severalth time and watched a solitary tear dance over the curve of her cheek, his heart genuinely aching for her as he folded the corner of the page that he was on in his book before placing it down on the table beside his cup of tea.
'Anna,' He kept his voice soft so not to startle her, his wife gazing over at him as her stormy blue eyes shone with tears, 'Come here and have a cuddle, darling.' She gave a soft sniffle as she pushed her sewing needle into the pincushion before setting her mending aside and standing from the settee, another tear slipping down her cheek as she made her way over to him before he took her waist in his hands and eased her down into his lap. He slipped his arms around her then, snugging her against his chest.
She lay her head down upon his shoulder through his shirt once she had shifted in his warm embrace so that his good knee was taking the majority of her weight, her eyes fluttering closed as she pressed her face into his neck for comfort and released a deep sigh when she felt his lips pressing to the side of her head in a lingering kiss. 'The cramps are getting worse.' She admitted as she curled her fingers into the thin material of his dress-shirt, John feeling his heart sink as he thought about how his wife's miscarriage was affecting her both physically as well as emotionally. 'It's as though my body is trying to torment me, John, it's as though it's trying to remind me over and over again that there's nothing there anymore!' She broke down into pained sobs then as she allowed him to snug her closer to him, John forbidding pained sobs of his own to escape him as he tried to comfort her in any way he could.
'Oh, Anna.' He soothed as he brought his hand up to stroke her soft blonde tresses of hair, the sound of her sobs causing him genuine pain as he started to rock back and forth with her. 'Do you want me to go and find you a hot water bottle? You never know, it might take some of the pain away for you.' She shook her head in response before drawing back from his neck and gazing up into his hazel eyes.
'No, thank you, I just want you to hold me.' She managed to choke out though her tears. 'I just want to be close to you for a little while.' She snuggled further against him then before nuzzling her damp face against the warm skin of his neck, soft hiccups escaping her from the intensity of her tears while she attempted to compose herself somewhat. 'I'm sorry, John.' She sniffled quietly. 'I'm so, so sorry.'
'Don't you dare apologise to me.' He almost growled as he leaned back in his armchair and trailed a comforting hand along the length of her spine through the dark material of her uniform. 'There was nothing that you could have done to prevent this from happening, my darling, and I will not have you beating yourself up over it.' He turned his head in her direction before leaving a kiss against her brow.
'I want a baby.' She whimpered, tears and fatigue coating her voice.
'I know you do, my love, I know you do.' He soothed before falling into silence as he started to think. 'Anna, have you ever considered adoption?' He asked after a short time, his wife drawing away from the side of his neck in order to cast her tear-filled gaze up at him, a charming smile fixed upon his lips.
'Yes, but-' She stammered, her voice wavering as she ran her hand along the front of his chest. 'I just don't believe it would work for you.' A slight crease formed in his brow as he smoothed the backs of his fingers across her cheek. 'You're tribal, John, and a tribe doesn't have a lot of members. You want your own child; no substitute will do.' He sighed, brushing a lock of blonde hair back beneath her ear.
'I won't deny that when I was in prison I would lie awake at night thinking about what it would be like to have miniature versions of you running around the place once you got me out,' He began, drawing her closer, 'But that's not to say that I would be against adopting a child. There are so many children who have been abused or left orphaned and put up for adoption, my darling, so if we were to go and adopt a child then we would be able to give it the love that they weren't given by their own parents.'
A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Anna's lips as she reached up to cup the curve of his cheek in her hand, her thumb dancing across the warm skin of his shaven cheek for a moment before she brought his lips to her own and captured him in a long and slow kiss. She gave his lower lip a soft tug with her teeth as they parted, a small smile spreading across her features as she sat up in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. 'I love you so much.' She whispered, pressing her forehead to his.
'I love you too.' He smiled, leaving a tiny kiss to the tip of her nose.
'Can we go to the adoption centre on our next half-day and get some forms?' She cocked her head to one side as she brushed her thumb against the soft skin at the back of his neck. 'I know that we have to be chosen as suitable adoptive parents before they'll let us meet the children, and I want us to fill the forms out sooner rather than later so that we have less time to wait to hear back from them.' A smile of pure love spread across John's features as he brought his hands up to cup her porcelain face.
'Why don't we go tomorrow afternoon? The family will be out for a few hours and I doubt that Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson will refuse to let us go if we explain our plans to them.' He gazed into her eyes.
'I'll ask Lady Mary when I go up to dress her in the morning.' She reassured him. 'I have quite a good feeling that she's going to be supportive of us, though.' Her midnight blue eyes sparkled endearingly.
'You are so beautiful.' He breathed as he ran the tips of his fingers through her long blonde hair.
She giggled in response before unwinding one arm from around his neck and cupping the side of it in the palm of her hand, placing another languid kiss upon his lips as one of his own hands came to rest upon her slight waist through her uniform. There were loving smiles upon both their lips when their kiss came to a natural end just moments later, their eyes delaying from opening as they revelled in one another's warmth. 'Do you know what sounds nice right about now?' She stroked his hair softly.
'A hot bath?' He raised his brow at her when he allowed his eyes to flutter open.
'How did you know?' She smirked as she slipped her arms back around his neck.
'Wild guess.' He chuckled with a light kiss to the corner of her mouth. 'Why don't you make your way up and start running it whilst I make us both a cup of tea? Then, when I come up, I can just hold you in my arms whilst we soak together.' She nodded in response before pecking his cheek as she ran her hands across his shoulders and down the outsides of his arms through his shirt, a smile upon her lips as she removed herself from his tender embrace and began to make her way across the sitting room.
'John?' She glanced over her shoulder at him from where she stood in the doorway.
'Yes, sweetheart?' He raised his brow at her as he turned slightly in his chair.
'Thank you for making me feel better.' She released a sigh of happiness. 'I love you.'
'You don't need to thank me; it's my job, my darling.' He reminded her. 'But I love you too. So much.'
And, with that, she threw him a loving glance before making her way out of the sitting room and up the creaky staircase towards the small bathroom in order to start running their bath.
The two of them were laying in silence in their marital bed after their relaxing bath later that night, her head cushioned upon his collarbone as she stroked the tips of her fingers against the curly dark hair that covered his chest and his arms were wrapped around her slight frame in a secure embrace. She couldn't prevent the smile of contentment from forming upon her lips as she felt John nuzzle the softest of kisses into the lavender-scented blonde hair at the top of her head, draping her arm over his stomach as she buried her face into the side of his neck and tangled her leg with his own beneath the covers. 'How are the cramps?' He asked as he trailed a strong hand along the length of her spine.
'They've gone off a little now.' She hummed as she allowed the tips of her fingers to dance along the warm skin at the curve of his side, caressing his foot with her own as he snugged her closer to him. 'I think that bath helped a lot.' She felt his warm lips curl up into a smile against the crown of her head.
'Why don't we go to a tea-room after we've been to the adoption centre tomorrow?' He suggested as his hand came to settle upon the jut of her hip through her nightgown. 'It's been a while since we've done that and I feel like spoiling you a little at the moment.' Anna giggled at his statement when she tilted her head back against his chest, releasing a delicate sigh as he grazed his nose against her own.
'I would love that.' She whispered.
'Good.' He whispered back before pressing a soft kiss onto her lips.
She released a gentle yawn as she lay her head back down upon his shoulder, her arm slipping back over his middle as she anchored herself to him. 'I'm exhausted but I feel too excited to sleep.' A soft chuckle escaped John's lips as she draped her leg over his hip and buried her warm face into his neck.
'I feel the same way.' He turned his head to rest his chin upon her crown. 'But you know that you get headaches if you don't get enough sleep.' She nodded in response as her blue eyes fluttered closed. 'I love you, Anna.' He whispered as he heard her breathing begin to even out and knew that she was drifting off against his chest, his heart swelling with love for her as he stretched to turn out the lamp.
'I love you, John.' She replied as she snuggled against him. 'More than I could ever hope to explain.'
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed my first chapter! Please drop a review so I know what you thought, thanks! x