She could have lost Robbie to a bomb. Despite having heard his message, she had been anxious until she saw him in the corridor. The solid feel of his body as she hit him, and his painful response had relieved some, but not all, of the fear she'd felt. Listening to his reasons for staying behind had been hard, but he was alive and that was all that mattered. She could put up with anything, so long as he was OK. But as the day wore on, she had moved past relief and tearful understanding, had briefly touched on anger before she settled on hurt. She had always known that Robbie was devoted to his work. Knew that while he was on a case nothing else mattered, but this was different. This was Robbie choosing cases that hadn't happened yet over spending time with her. And Moody could cancel his role regardless of whether he was there or not. When Robbie got home late, and tried to carry on their conversation she snapped. "Don't! You made it clear earlier that you need the job, that a life with me isn't enough. I really don't need to hear you say it again". As tears threatened, she fled from the room.

Robbie stood and watched Laura leave. What had he done? In trying to save himself he'd hurt her. He had to tell her the truth, no matter what happened afterwards he couldn't let her think she wasn't enough. Scrubbing his hand through his hair, he followed her upstairs.

Laura was looking out of the window when she heard his tread on the stairs. She didn't want them to part like this, so she had to face him. Biting her lip she willed the tears away, waiting for him to reach their bedroom. Waiting for the apology that would no doubt be heartfelt, but that wouldn't change the fact she was going to New Zealand on her own.

She turned as he reached the doorway, and the look on her face took Robbie back in time. He'd sworn then that he never wanted to see that look again. But once again she looked devastated at something he had done. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice breaking the silence "I lied to you". Laura tilted her head, her eyes looking away from his, "it doesn't matter Robbie, I know you didn't mean to. You wanted to go when it was just an idea, it was only when faced with the reality that you realised you couldn't go. I understand". "No, you don't - I meant I was lying earlier when I said I couldn't go in case Moody didn't renew my contract". Robbie's words drew her gaze back to him as he continued explaining "I wasn't afraid to leave - I was afraid to go. I don't want to lose you Laura."

She watched as Robbie moved into the room, saw the look of despair as he sat on the edge of the bed but couldn't help the sarcasm in her voice as she asked "and putting 11 thousand miles between us for 6 months was your way of keeping me?" "Yes, why else wouldn't I go? As if I'd choose work over you." He looked pleadingly at her, willing her to understand. "But you've done it before Robbie - when you chose work over retirement". And as she said it Laura realised that for all they'd moved on, that fact still hurt. Robbie looked stunned "but that's not what I did - I chose you over retirement. I was losing you then too - you couldn't talk to me about work, and I had nothing to talk you about. I had to do something. So when Jean offered me the chance to return, I jumped at it. Crime scenes and dead bodies Laura, its what we do, thats what we have in common." Now it was Laura's turn to look stunned "you went back to work so that we'd have something to talk about?" "Yes... no... I mean not just that. I missed the job of course, but I missed the time I spent working with you more. I knew you couldn't discuss cases with outsiders, but I missed those moments with you. Talking about shopping lists wasn't the same as discussing toxicology reports. It felt - I felt - boring. If bread and milk conversations were the best I had, what hope did we have?" Admitting how he felt back then had Robbie dropping his head into his hands, not wanting to see Laura look at him with pity in her eyes.

But it wasn't pity that had Laura moving towards him. Sitting beside him, she rested her head on his shoulder saying "we really need to work on our communication skills". Taking a deep breath she continued "I stopped talking to you about work because you'd retired. You'd spent years snatching bites to eat at work and going over case files at home. I figured you'd earned the right to a work free life". She sighed, lowering her voice as she continued talking "and I liked discussing shopping lists with you. Having someone to look after me - letting someone look after me - was a new thing for me and I liked it." Robbie lifted his head up "you liked it?" Laura didn't need to see his face to know that he was smiling. "Yes, I know, me, the woman who hates delegating, loved letting you take care of me. Ironic isn't it?" She turned to look at him "but that still doesn't explain why you're afraid to come with me. Why, Robbie? What is it about 6 months in New Zealand that has you afraid?"

Robbie got up, needing to pace. "6 months Laura, plenty of time for all our differences to show. So many things you'll want to see and do, sooner or later I'll not want to keep up. I can do it for a couple of weeks holiday, but 6 months? I'm going to complain, I'm going to want to spend time just sitting enjoying the peace and quiet, and then you'll know just how much you're missing out on by being with me. You'll see all those other couples out and about enjoying themselves and realise you can do so much better than me. I hoped we could survive you being annoyed that I stayed at home, but I knew we wouldn't survive you realising that I'm not enough".

Laura looked up at him, she could see he meant every word by the look on his face. How on earth could he think like that? She had to ask "where is this coming from Robbie? None of this makes sense. I thought we were happy, why didn't you tell me you weren't?" Robbie took a step towards her saying "its not that I'm not happy, I am. Its just that... look at you. You're young, smart, full of enthusiasm and lots of others things that I'm not. I know that one day, eventually, you're going to realise that and you're going to leave". Laura pushed up from the the bed, coming to a stop in front of him she said "you're wrong. I'm not leaving. Back when you weren't ready, I knew you were worth waiting for. And now we're together? I know you're worth holding on to. When I think about my future Robbie, I see our future. I've never considered us not being together. For better or worse right?" Laura paused, tilted her head as she considered those words "that's part of the problem, isn't it? You see this as temporary because we're not married." Laura smiled, stepping even closer she said "we can change that. Marry me". Robbie shook his head "no Laura, I know what you think of marriage. This is my problem, not yours". Laura put her hand on his chest, "I always said there were lots of reasons for not getting married. Standing here now, with you, I can't think of a single one. I mean it Robbie, I love you - will you marry.." her words were cut short by Robbie's fingers. "Hold that thought" he said before turning to walk towards the wardrobe.

Laura watched him go, then, when he went out of sight hidden by the open wardrobe door she sat back down on the bed. She took a deep breath, giving her head a quick shake. What a night. She'd come upstairs worried that this was the beginning of the end of them. Now, it looked like they were getting married, if Robbie ever let her finish her proposal. She heard Robbie close the door, and turned to look at him. Her eyes saw the small, square box in his hand and she gasped. "Where, when...?" Laura couldn't finish the thoughts, forcing herself to look up at Robbie as he sat beside her. He smiled sheepishly then answered "when we were looking for this place. It just seemed the right time to ask, even if I knew you'd say no. So I bought the ring and put it away. But now we're here, I might as well have it ready - ask me again". But she couldn't, the words stuck in her throat until she saw Robbie's face "no Robbie, I've not changed my mind. But just like I didn't know I wanted to get married, I didn't know how much I wanted you to ask me - until I saw that box."

Robbie looked at her for a moment, then taking the ring from the box he slid onto one knee in front of her. Taking hold of her hand he said "I wish I could say something romantic, like 'I can't imagine my life without you' but we both know I can and have. What I can say is that I don't like what my life looks like without you. I love you Laura, will you marry me?" As she nodded, before managing to whisper "yes", Robbie slipped the ring onto her finger. As their eyes met he smiled, saying "does this count as not arriving empty handed?" Laura laughed, half crying as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. As she held him there, she knew there was still a question leftt unanswered "does this mean that you'll come with me?" As she waited for his answer, Robbie pulled slightly away. "Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I was a fool not to tell you..." this time it was Robbie's words that were cut short. Not by Laura's fingers, but by her lips pressing against his. Neither knew who moved first, shifting them further onto the bed. Short, lazy kisses followed as hands removed clothing. An unspoken desire to move slow, had those same hands tracing lazy caresses over each others bodies. But the events of the day had left Laura emotional and sensitive and it didn't take long for Robbie's gentle hands, combined with his intense kisses, to send her crashing over the edge. But it still wasn't enough. As her body shuddered with aftershocks, she pulled Robbie onto, and into her. He linked their hands as he rose above her. Even as he fought the urge to push harder, Robbie watched as Laura arched her back, and he felt himself sink deeper on every thrust. When she began to whimper, teeth scraping over her bottom lip as she tried in vain to wait for him, he let go. They held each other as they recovered, lazy caresses were all they could manage as hearts and breathing slowed. When they moved to lie on their sides, Laura put her hand on Robbie's chest, splaying her fingers to take a first proper look at her ring. "Its perfect" she sighed, then watched as Robbie touched the ring, rocking it gently. "We're like that knot - the two of us, being held together by something else, without it we were falling apart" he said as he moved his hand to her cheek. Laura smiled, then covered his hand with hers as she said "then its definitely a Truelove knot".

This story was just because I needed to hear Robbie say 'I love you' at least once - and because an engagement ring is much better than a Dodo bodysuit.

And sad, hopeless romantic that I am, I choose to believe that Robbie proposed in the TV version too. Just watch Laura's reaction when she sees James hold up the 'Lewis' sign - I like to think its because she knows its going to be her name too.