I couldn't help it. There was something about the way he walked, the way he talked, that made me stare endlessly (until someone pointed it out, that is). His hair was always too long, always cut in such a funny way that we almost always fought about it when it came up in conversation. He was so unruly, so against everything I stood for, and yet…

"-lynn? Flyyyynn!" I snapped my head up immediately and tried to set a glare into my features, though it was difficult when I saw who it was- Yuri. "What's your problem, man? I feel like you weren't listening to any of that!"

"Uh…"

"You weren't? Now you look like a terrible person, Flynn," he laughed, hooking one of the chairs with his foot and pulling it close to my desk.

"Care to tell me again?" I asked carefully, wondering if he would or if he would just look at me and pretend as if I was joking. Of course the latter occurred, so I sighed and sat up a bit more, pushing the paperwork on my desk aside. "Please, Yuri. I'm listening," I pleaded softly, leaning forward just a bit to show him I was serious. One eyebrow rose on his face before he looked out the window with a sigh.

Was he telling me something serious? That wasn't the typical story I expected when he came to my office. He normally preached to me about how the knights were just a joke. I really did look like a bad person now.

"Well, Commandant… I uh…" I watched as his face twisted a bit. "I was saying that…"

"Yuri? Are you okay?" I asked, dropping my elbows from my desk. I felt my head tip to the side, my own eyebrows rising in question. He turned to me quickly with a large, forced smile.

"Of course I'm okay. I'm not a little kid, Flynn." I could tell he was faking it but didn't say a word aloud. If he wanted me to think he was okay, then… I would. For now. He let out a laugh before pushing his hair back, pulling some over his shoulder.

His hair always distracted me. He barely had to do anything to it for me to fall into a trance. He simply pulled it over his shoulder, and I felt myself fall into its almost purple trance. There was nothing notable about him at all, but my mouth went dry anyway, my hands sweating a bit more than they did normally. Why?

"You should ask Lady Estellise to braid your hair again." He really should have. The style actually suited him better than I thought any style could. I always assumed that he would like the rugged way it hung down his back for all his life, but he had tried a few things, or maybe Lady Estellise had forced him to. Either way, it had helped him control what he called the "beast" on his head. Yuri groaned and leaned over the back of the chair, his arms lazily falling to his sides.

"Again with Estelle! It's just Estelle! She likes Estelle!" Yuri almost flopped out of his chair when he sat up and looked at me again. Those eyes…

"Yes, Yuri, I know… It's a hard habit to break. But about Estelle… you should consider letting her do your hair again." I did what I could to relax my face when I said "Estelle", but it was still hard to just… say without seeming weird. Yuri stared back at me, so I looked away to break the eye contact. I had the worst habits. Staring at Yuri Lowell just happened to be one of them.

"I would if she had time for me. These days she's all, 'Ioder, Ioder', and I'm just… 'Repede, get off the bed'," he explained, impersonating a woman's voice when playing Estelle's part in the conversation. I couldn't stifle my laughter, and I could see him glance at me when I covered my smile. "That funny to you?"

"Estelle would be floored at your impression, Yuri! It's more like, 'Repede! Find Yuri! He's been missing all day!' Or something like that," I tried, doing a slightly better voice for Estelle… at least I thought I did. "She's always wanting a reason to get out to the castle. Indulge her a bit, Yuri. Come see her. A trip or two to the castle won't kill you."

Everything about Lady Estellise was true enough. She was always seeking out Yuri, wanting to ask him questions or go out of the city with him, though she had many tasks of her own. It didn't help that Repede usually came to the castle without Yuri, looking about for things he liked to eat, things the chefs happily gave to him no matter the day.

It was also true that Yuri could stop causing chaos in the Lower Quarter and come see Lady Estellise. While I knew it wasn't at the top of his priority list (protecting the Lower Quarter certainly was), I wanted Yuri to see her. I wanted Yuri to come to the castle. I wanted to see Yuri. I wanted him to walk past my open door or knock when it was closed. I wanted to see his boots scuff the floor as he walked beside Repede. I wanted-

"You think I can just walk up here whenever, Flynn? You act like I have a whole lot of time to come up here. I don't!" His tone picked up some attitude, his brows furrowing together as a scowl formed on his face.

"But you do, Yuri. The knights-"

"'The knights' my ass. None of them know why the Lower Quarter is important! They see all those people as- as… nothing. They're just another round for them!"

"That's not true and you know it. The Lower Quarter residents are as important as the ones here in the castle. Don't pretend the knights do nothing, Yuri. I know you want to protect everyone, but you need to see-"

"Need to see what?" He stood from his chair and shuffled over to me, his hands resting at his sides. "That the knights can protect them? That the knights can do what I can't?"

"That's not what I'm saying. Please, sit down. You didn't come up here to fight with me, I'm sure." My curiosity peaked again. What had he come here for? He had shown up and taken a seat just minutes before, so I motioned to the chair again and waited. "What did you come here for? You don't normally come for nothing…" I desperately wanted to change the subject. I didn't want to fight with Yuri, not anymore. He fought enough in the Lower Quarter.

"You're right. Whatever…. I don't know. Nothing, I guess." Yuri sank back into the chair, his legs crossing lazily as he leaned his head back. He stared at the ceiling, prompting me to look up. There was nothing, but I continued to sit the same way as Yuri. While I didn't understand why, I felt like he needed someone who could understand him, someone that could reminisce on whatever he happened to be thinking about. "I feel like the only person I've talked to lately is Repede, and he hasn't been up for much conversation." I wondered briefly about Karol and Brave Vesperia but didn't voice the thought. "Judy came by the other day but not for long. She gave me some trinkets and was back to the sky just a few hours later."

Was Yuri lonely? It was starting to sound an awful lot like he was. There was no way I could quell that feeling, not in the way he wanted me to. I didn't have time to venture into the Lower Quarter and squabble over dinner or walk to the tavern and have dinner beside him. I couldn't give him gifts and talk about the old days. I couldn't do what Judith or Karol could do, I couldn't talk the way Lady Estellise or Raven could… not to Yuri.

My chest tightened in a way I had never felt before. Pity, perhaps? I somehow doubted it. For years on end, Yuri had always solved his own problems without me. Always without me. So why now? Why did he need… me now? Maybe I was flattering myself. I must have been. There was no way Yuri- Yuri Lowell- needed my company. Not now. Not ever.

"Judith… She was always an interesting one. What exactly has she been up to?" I had to fill the conversation with something, anything.

"As far as I know, travelling with Ba'ul. I don't know a whole lot more than that." Silence again fell across the both us. I could hear myself swallow as I looked away again. Now that he was facing me, the openness of his shirt was awfully attracting… for my eyes.

"Mm… Well, Yuri… Your friends do seem busy once again. Can't rest for long, can they?"

"You act as though you don't do the same," he countered. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to agree, simply for the sake of maintaining this topic.

"As if, Yuri… A knight must properly rest in order to be fit to protect." I felt myself sort of crack, a smile breaking into my face. I almost never got the proper amount of sleep; being the new Commandant was certainly a tough job. Everyone needed something- whether it be orders to continue building Aurnion, or a simple agreement to send troops out and defend cities across the world. Protection quickly became their main priority. "Turn around," I commanded, moving my chair to sit closer. He gave me an odd look but did what I asked.

"I don't know what you're planning, but okay, Finny." Some part of me relaxed as soon as he turned his back to me. I didn't have to stare at his eyes anymore. I didn't have to control the way my heart beat or the way my palms seemed to sweat. I removed my gloves and slid my hands across my pants before scooting in close. I tried… as silly as it looked, I tried my best to braid Yuri's long hair the way that Lady Estellise did. I could remember the way her hands moved, but I couldn't seem to get the pattern right…

"I'm sure there's an easier way to do this." I sighed and sat back a minute, seeing loose hairs come from the sides. I could see the laughter shake his shoulders as he waved a hand backward at me.

"You know, thanks for trying, but I'm not sure you know what you're doing," Yuri choked through a laugh. There was a knock at the door then, and I stopped trying at the braid immediately. No matter who that happened to be, I had no room for embarrassment. Not today. Not with Yuri.

"Flynn?" Oh, thank goodness.

"Lady Estellise, come in."

"Estelle!" Yuri corrected, leaning his head back once again. His eyes bore into mine, and I could feel myself stare right back.

"Yuri, you're here! It's so good to see… you? Flynn, what are you doing?" she asked softly as she entered the room. She stood beside me and looked at the mess I'd made of Yuri's hair. "Are you trying to braid-"

"Lady Estellise, I'm doing my best, but I…"

"Wow, not answering questions and not using 'Estelle'. Really losing points there, buddy."

"Yuri! He's doing his best. Here, Flynn. Let me help." I watching as she moved to stand behind me. I could feel her chest press against my neck as she reached around me, grabbing my hands as she moved then back to Yuri's hair. I couldn't tell why my face felt so hot; was it Yuri or Estelle? Or both…? She guided my hands slowly, prompting me in voice as to what to do next. Step by step, we worked through Yuri's hair, until she had removed herself and I finished the bottom. "Nice job! Let me find something to tie it off. Hold on."

I held the bottom of the braid with both hands, unsure if it would come undone if I let go. I didn't want my hard work to go to waste. I felt… cooler once Estelle stepped away, her body no longer pressed to mine the way it had been. Again, Yuri leaned his head back to look at me.

"Learning from the ladies, I see."

"Shut up."

There was no reason to feel insulted nor was there reason to defend myself, but the words flew out before I had a chance to think about it. Yuri always egged me on. Always.

"I found some ribbon, Flynn. Here, here," Estelle urged as she returned to the room, handing the ribbon to me as soon as she was close enough. Black. At least it would match Yuri. I did my best to not let the braid come undone as I tied the ribbon on. I sat and stared for another minute as Estelle clapped a bit. "I'm so proud of you! It looks amazing. Yuri, the mirror! Go look."

I watched as Yuri stood up from the chair, lazily walking toward the mirror I had in my office. My heart dropped into my stomach. No! If he looked, he would see the missed hairs, the fly-aways, the uneven loops-

"Finny, I never knew it was in you, but you have successfully done my hair better than me," he laughed, turning to me once he was done staring in the mirror. A boyish grin grew on his face, his hands going to his hips as he leaned forward, his face set to tease. "Thanks for the hair-do, man. I'll have to come to you now."

Estelle let out a laugh, and I felt my face grow hot. With both of them here, the chances of me losing a grip tripled. I tried to cover my face a bit, but it was quickly pointed out by both menaces in the room.

"Flynn! Don't be coy," Yuri and Estelle said together, looking at each other immediately once they finished the words. Apparently, this happened all too often. That would need to change. I forced my hands away as well as my gaze. I reached back to my desk to slide my gloves back on. They would keep the sweat from dripping off any more than it already was. Why was this my own personal hell? In my own office? I sat in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest and shutting my eyes, turning my head away to avoid any contact at all.

"If you want it done better, ask Lady Estellise. I'm sure she'd do a much better job than me. I fight monsters for a living, deliver flowers to little old ladies, and pick up orders for people in other cities. I wonder how many knights can even do hair. My guess is zero-"

"Shut up. You need to stop doing that," Yuri interrupted, coming over to lean his hands on my desk. He leaned forward, that smile still slapped to his lips.

"Doing what?" I asked, not sure what he had meant by my words… perhaps my actions?

"Saying things that make me want to kiss you."

My eyes snapped open immediately, but I didn't dare uncross my arms. He was messing with me, but I couldn't help the thoughts that flew through my mind. Estelle sort of gasped and hurriedly excused herself from the room. No, no! She couldn't leave me here with this monster of a man.

"You're kidding."

"Who said that? C'mere," Yuri said, his hand coming up from the desk. His fingers slid across my jaw, and it took every fiber in my body not to turn… immediately.

"Yuri, this joke has gone far enough…"

"Again- who's joking?" his words were barely above a whisper, and I dared a glance over, my eyes scanning his face. That grin was gone, his eyes attached to mine. His fingers slid across my neck a bit, his thumb resting underneath my jaw. With a simple flex, he turned my face up to his. His features were clear to me, his lips slightly parted, eyes gentle but partially lidded. "Do you still think I'm kidding?"

"Are you?" I asked. I tried my best to not fall for it… not yet. Not until I knew for sure.

"No, Flynn. I'm not kidding." So many questions bubbled in my mind. How long had he felt that way? Which words were the trigger? Could I say them again? Maybe the result would be different! "Can I?"

"Can you what?" His other hand slowly came to my face, his thumb pressing against my lips as his fingers slid across my jaw.

"You- the Great Flynn Scifo-"

"Don't call me that, Yuri!"

"Whatever… can I kiss you?"

The words hit my eardrums but didn't seem to process in my brain. I heard myself stutter, sounding idiotic and foolish, before forcing my mouth shut so I didn't look like a fool too. "I… I guess? I'm going to be a little mad if you're-"

There it was. The moment that always flooded my dreams. The feeling was certainly different than the one I had imagined, but it was still pleasant. His lips were warm, soft, and irresistible. I wished then that I hadn't returned my sweaty palms to their prison. I couldn't feel his skin when I reached up to hold his wrist. I couldn't feel his pulse through the metal coverings of my fingers, no matter how much I wanted to. Sooner rather than later, Yuri had leaned his head away, a smile on those lips. I had followed his mouth until I heard him chuckle. I sat back a bit, surprised at my own actions. His arm turned in my hands, my hand coming open.

"Ease up there, Commandant. I'm not going to turn to dust." He pressed my open hand to the desktop. Had I been holding too hard? Again, the questions rose up, but the way he was breathing distracted me all over again. I watched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist, the way he smiled and tilted his head. Had I done something wrong? As I opened my mouth to speak, he rose his hand to silence me. Though I hadn't wanted to, I shut my mouth and waited, waited for him to say something… anything. "That was nice, Flynn. I need to go back… to the Lower Quarter. I'm sure they're already worrying."

"You're leaving? After… after this?" I asked, gesturing to the two of us. I felt myself worry all over again, my thoughts running wild.

"I'll be back… don't worry too much. Or come visit. Either way." He walked backward to the door. His eyes didn't leave mine. "Flynn Scifo, I love you, so there's nothing to worry about." He opened the door, but I couldn't move. The words were shuffling through my head, replaying the way his lips had moved to form the words, the sound of his voice bouncing back and forth, again and again.