Falling Slowly
His eyes followed her.
Around the squad room, during her interrogations, at every crime scene.
Carefully watching.
If anyone asked, he would say it was to make sure no harm came to her.
She was his Chief, after all. His superior officer.
But he knew better.
He couldn't say when the change happened. Not for sure.
Perhaps it started during the Croelick case, when he realized that she was the one who truly had his back.
Maybe it was when Commander Taylor had filed that complaint with Internal Affairs, and the entire team had stood up for her – including him. And he had paid her that silly compliment about her legs. Even if it was true. She did have great legs.
It could be when she saved his and Provenza's hides when that dead body turned up in Provenza's garage. She put her neck on the line for him again – well them, really – and helped them solve the case.
All Andy Flynn knew was somewhere along the way, slowly, he fell for Brenda Leigh Johnson.
He sighed, watching her up at the murder board, running down this new case, and he knew he'd follow her anywhere.
She looked up and quirked her eyebrow, and he quickly looked back down at the paperwork in front of him.
He'd been caught. Damn.
He half-listened as she gave out assignments, not hearing his name called for anything. He knew he was in the doghouse for not paying attention during case review or for pulling his weight with this investigation. He just couldn't help it.
Ever since her and that FBI jerk had broken their engagement six months earlier, he'd been distracted.
Not that Fritz what's-his-ass had deserved her. He wasn't good enough for her.
Andy wasn't sure he was either. But it hadn't stopped him from falling for her anyway.
He shook his head at himself. He was sure he was going to get chewed out.
He heard her footsteps approaching as she called out, "I'll be interviewing the next door neighbor. Lieutenant Flynn, would you join me, please?"
Andy's head popped up in surprise. She was asking him to go with her, and not Gabriel?
When he didn't move, she turned around at the door to the squad room. "Lieutenant Flynn, with me."
She turned and walked toward the elevator, expecting that he would join her.
He was behind her within moments, and when the doors closed behind them and they were alone, she turned to him. "You seem preoccupied with something, Lieutenant Flynn. Should I be worried about you?"
He bowed his head, not wanting to give anything away – and he was certain she would read everything in his eyes if given half a chance. "No ma'am. It won't happen again," he spoke softly.
There was something in his demeanor that still concerned her, and she wanted to reach out to him further, but the elevator doors opened just then. He walked out, reaching in his pocket for his keys. He slid his sunglasses over his eyes, shielding himself from her piercing gaze. She fell into an easy stride next to him and contemplated her next move.
There was something going on with him. She was sure of it.
Andy tried to keep calm on the drive to their witness' house. Sitting next to her in the car, smelling her perfume, knowing that she was but an arm's length away, was agony.
He could feel her eyes on him.
Ironic. That's what he usually did – watch her.
Finally, she broke the silence.
"Are you unhappy with your transfer? Do you want to go back to work for Commander Taylor in Robbery/Homicide?"
"What?" he whipped his head around to look at her, taking his eyes off the road momentarily. "No!" He turned back to look at the road.
She noticed that he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter before easing up on it. She'd obviously hit a nerve, even though he'd offered no information.
"Okay, then what is it?" she asked him.
"It's nothing like that. I'll deal with it, you don't have to worry about me, Chief. I promise," he told her. "I…. I'm sorry I brought it into the squad." He sighed.
"Lieutenant, if it's something I can help with, you can talk to me," she said quietly.
He shook his head. "I'll handle it," he said. "It'll be fine."
"All right then," she said. She watched him, unconvinced, but she let it go.
It was only a few more minutes, and Andy pulled into the driveway of their victim's neighbor.
Once the interview was over, they returned to his car; Andy was set to drive them back to Parker Center.
She turned the tables on him once again.
"It's late, Lieutenant, how about we just get some dinner rather than go back to the squad? My treat…" She watched his profile, gauging his reaction.
Andy knew this could be trouble for him, but he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to spend more time with her – just the two of them. No matter the risk. He'd just have to be careful not to give anything away,
He nodded. "Where to, Chief?"
She suggested a small restaurant she knew near her house, a quiet place with good food that she was certain no one they knew frequented. She gave him directions and settled in for the ride. Since Gabriel had picked her up for the call out that morning, she didn't really need to go back to Parker Center, and this would give her the opportunity to try and find out what was going on with her Lieutenant.
They drove in silence, with her sneaking glances at his profile. He found a parking spot and then went around to her side and opened her door. When they were seated at their table, she finally broke the silence between them.
"I appreciate you coming with me today," she watched him over her menu.
"Sure, Chief," he said. As he started to say more, the waiter came over to take their orders.
After ordering, Andy sat silent, staring down at his hands and fidgeting.
He knew she was watching him, but he didn't dare look up. He knew he would give too much away. She was too good at reading people.
"For heaven's sakes, Lieutenant," she muttered. "Will you at least look at me?" She waited for him to raise his eyes. When he didn't, she softened her voice and changed her tactics.
"Andy, I know we're not close friends. But if you need someone, I can be here for you. I will listen and try and help you with whatever you're going through... at least for tonight."
The use of his first name, something he'd never heard from her, shocked him. He liked how it sounded with her southern drawl.
His head snapped up, and he looked at her in wonder. "Chief…it's not that I don't want to tell you about it. It's that I just….I-I can't." He shook his head. The possibility of telling her and having her reject him was just too much. He'd rather love her in silence and still be near her, than be sent away. He'd already considered that.
"Obviously you need to talk to someone. I can see that this is eating you up. Is there someone you can confide in?" She took a drink of her wine as she watched him toy with his own drink – cranberry and soda, she knew by experience as well as having heard his order.
He slowly shook his head as he swirled his straw in his glass. "No." The word came out as a whisper more than a declaration.
She didn't know what to say or do. He seemed so haunted, in a way, by whatever it was. And yet, it was something he was unwilling to give up.
Before she could say another word, the waiter brought their meals. She glanced up and smiled at him as he walked away.
"This smells wonderful," she said, watching Andy carefully as she took a bite of her food.
He was looking down again, avoiding her gaze, as he took his first bite.
Patience, she told herself. This is obviously really bothering him.
For several minutes, they ate in silence.
"How's yours?" she asked him.
"Good."
No eye contact.
More silence.
When they were finished, the waiter came back to clear their plates and ask about dessert. Brenda's eyes lit up at the prospect of decadent sweets, and the waiter brought by the tray of selections. Andy's eyes drifted up, observing with discreet amusement as she perused the different treats. She looked across the table and saw him watching her.
"What looks good to you?" she asked him. "We could share something."
His throat went dry at the thought. It was going to be hard enough watching her eat something he knew she was going to thoroughly enjoy, much less share it with her.
He gave a little cough to clear his throat. "Uh, whatever looks good to you, Chief."
She peered up at the waiter and pointed to a small round pastry in the center of the tray. "We'll take one of those. Two forks, please."
"One Chocolate Crepe Cake. Excellent choice. Would you like coffee as well?"
Brenda nodded. "With some honey on the side, please, Thank you."
"Certainly." The waiter left them alone.
"So what exactly is a 'Chocolate Crepe Cake''?" he asked her.
"It's got layers of crepes, with chocolate and a hazelnut filling with this amazing chocolate glaze. It's like heaven," she said, a slow smile spreading across her mouth. "Trust me."
"I do, Chief," he said.
She saw his eyes drop again.
"You say that. And yet you're so distant tonight," she said. "You can trust me with whatever is bothering you."
He shook his head. "Not this, Chief. I'm sorry."
She reached a hand across the table to touch his, wanting to reassure him. "It's okay. No need to be sorry." As soon as she touched him, Andy felt a twinge of electricity move through him. He covered her hand with his, just for an instant. He liked the feel of her touching him, and of him touching her. But then he moved his hands away, putting them in his lap.
Brenda felt something change when they touched, and dissipate when he broke it. Something inside her wanted to get it back. But she let it go. She wouldn't push him. It had taken them so long to build their relationship to where it was – to a point where she felt she could trust him, depend on him on the job. He was a real asset on her squad – often more so than Gabriel. His experience and wit often diffused the tense nature of their caseload.
The waiter returned, pouring each of them a cup of fragrant dark roast coffee. He set down a squeezable container of honey near Brenda. The waiter put down a plate between the two of them with a beautiful round chocolate confection on it, and Andy saw Brenda's eyes light up.
They each picked up a fork and took a bite. Andy found it really rich, and put his fork down. He picked up his coffee to take a drink. He looked over and watched in amusement at Brenda, her eyes sliding shut and her mouth curving into a smile over the taste in her mouth.
"Good, Chief?"
"Mmmm," she murmured. "So good." She opened her eyes and found him watching her.
Andy saw her eyes take on a dark sheen as she took another bite of the cake, and she kept them fixed on him. He couldn't look away. His palms grew moist. He shifted in his seat. She was damned sexy the way she was devouring that dessert, one bite at a time.
He took another drink of his coffee.
She did the same, picking up her mug with both hands, then, and tipping the cup up, never losing eye contact with him as she sipped.
It was then, as their gazes locked, that she realized his secret.
The waiter returned to take away the empty plate, and Brenda quickly reached for the check. She pulled her American Express out of her purse and handed it to the waiter to pay for the bill before he could leave. He said he would be right back.
"You ready to go?" she asked him.
Andy nodded.
As soon as the waiter brought the charge slip back, Brenda signed her name, leaving a generous tip. Andy helped her up, and they walked out of the dim restaurant with him guiding her.
He drove her home, not saying a word. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, trying to both gauge his mood and figure out her next move.
When they arrived at her bungalow, Andy pulled into the driveway and walked her to the door.
Brenda unlocked the door and turned to him, "Would you like a cup of coffee before heading home, Lieutenant?"
He hesitated, and then politely declined. No use tempting himself. She was off-limits. "No thanks, Chief. I better get going." He paused. "Thanks for dinner. It was…nice."
"You're welcome, Lieutenant. I enjoyed it," she told him. "Thank you for the company today."
She started to open the door before turning back toward him. "Lieutenant?"
He had taken a couple of steps back, intent on leaving as soon as she was safely inside. Now he moved forward again. "Yeah, Chief?"
Brenda moved forward, grasping his tie with one hand and gently tugging him downward. His surprise worked to her advantage, and she placed her lips on his.
It didn't take him long to catch on.
Andy wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss, angling his mouth over hers and pulling her close against him.
She moved her free arm around his neck and sighed happily.
He kept one arm tightly around her and moved the other up her side, exploring, caressing. When he found the fullness of her breast and cupped it in his hand, she moaned into his mouth. His thumb grazed across her nipple, stroking and teasing.
She broke their kiss. "Andy…" his name came out in a breathy whisper.
"Inside?" His one word question spoke volumes.
She looked up at him with kiss-swollen lips and nodded. She took him by then hand and opened the door. Kitty meowed from just inside, and Brenda quickly ushered him in and closed the door. She flipped on a light, bathing the room in a gentle lamp-glow, and looked at him over one shoulder as she dropped her purse.
There was only silence as they walked hand-in-hand to the couch. Andy sat down at one end, and she joined him, leaning close and taking his lips with hers once again.
He threaded his hand through her hair, feeling the silky strands between his fingers for the first time. He twisted them through the curls, using them to angle her head to his liking, allowing him better access to her mouth.
He dragged her into his lap, settling her against his growing need for her.
Brenda let go, falling into him and letting him take the lead. His kisses were different than anything she'd experienced before – deeper, softer, and slower – as he explored her mouth thoroughly.
He broke from her mouth and moved his lips down her neck, and she groaned in pure delight. He paused at a sensitive spot, paying particular attention to the mole on her neck.
Andy was careful not to leave a mark, but he'd wanted to taste and tease that mole since the first time he'd seen it. He wasn't leaving his chance behind.
When he looked down at her, it was a different Andy, one whose heart was shining through in his eyes.
She moved from his lap and stood, reaching out her hand and helping him up. She led him from the living room back to her bedroom.
Once there, she turned to him. "I know your secret, Lieutenant."
"Chief?" he wasn't surprised. She'd always been so good at reading people.
"You should have just told me. Then it wouldn't have taken us all this time to get here," she said with a smile as she moved forward, removing his tie.
His shocked look lasted about five seconds before she captured his lips again.
When Andy woke up, he was spooned around her, with Kitty curled up on his feet. He snuggled in closer and whispered, "I think I love you, Brenda Leigh."
"Mmmm, I know," she said, her lips curving into a smile. "I think I've loved you all along, Andy."
She rolled over and looked at him. "It just comes slowly sometimes."
He smiled at her. "It sure does."
He captured her lips once more.
THE END