Bella:
Where is it supposed to go?
Edward: Like I would know! I've been a
virgin for over 100 years!!
Bella: Well I don't feel anything!!
Edward: I'm trying!!!
Bella: Here let me do it, maybe I can do
it better.
Edward: No! Bella, no! NO! NO!
*suddenly intense
screaming is heard coming from the bedroom*
*the next morning*
Bella: Edward, did I hurt you last night? I mean, you
were screaming ALOT.
Edward: Yea, I'm ok. It was the way you did
it that was scaring me. That's why I was screaming.
Bella: Wait, I
was scaring you with my sex?
Edward: What I mean is we're both
supposed to be virgins, but you were soo good at it! I mean, it seems
like you've done this before....
Bella: Shut up bitch!! *raises
pimp hand*
Edward: *whimpers* Yes, Love.
Bella: Now come on, I
wanna try a new move.
Edward: *praying* Please don't let it hurt
as much as last night!!!
Bella: EDWARD!!!
Edward: I'm coming,
Love!
Bella: That's right, Bitch, you come to me.
Edward: Yes,
Bella.
Bella: *takes out realistic looking dildo* Bend over for
me, Edward.
*Even more immense screaming is hear*
FIN
Ok, so I kinda stole this from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the newlyweds wedding night lol) but the rest is all me