A/N: Written for Round 1 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.
KEEPER: Write about a character who makes the best of a bad situation.
Word count: 2,130
Special thanks to my wonderful teammates Emma and Shay for their feedback!
To say Remus Lupin had a hard life would be a huge understatement.
Sure, he had three great friends that stuck by his side no matter what, and would go to any length to keep him safe and to make sure he knew that they cared about him, but that didn't change what was wrong with him. What haunted his dreams and played through his mind every waking moment. What made him dread the full moon every single month.
It was March 9. To anyone else, the day would seem just like any other. But to Remus, it was the anniversary of the worst day of his life. And he'd had plenty of bad days.
"Moony, get over here! I'm about to crush Sirius," James called from the floor of their dormitory, where he and Sirius were sprawled out with a board of Wizard's Chess.
"And stop staring out that blasted window!" Sirius added, groaning as he stared at the chessboard. "I hate you, Prongs."
"You love me," James countered, grinning as he called out instructions to his chess pieces like he was the bloody Minister of Magic.
Remus turned away from the window towards his friends, watching as Sirius stuffed a handful of Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans into his mouth angrily. Remus wasn't sure that was the best idea, considering one bean on its own was about enough to make himself throw up, but Sirius had never been one for playing it safe.
He wondered if he should tell them about what today meant, if they hadn't found out already. Even just looking out the window into the grounds made him uncomfortable, that damned willow taunting him with its branches swaying mockingly in the wind.
Every so often, he'd flash back to it. The screams, the pain, the blood, the darkness, and the cold; the cold that had seeped into his bones and whispered threats into his ears. The worst part was that he couldn't talk about that night, not even with the Marauders, with whom he'd trust with his life. That was what kept him staring out that window, forcing himself to listen to his thoughts and replay that awful night over and over again.
"Ha! Take that, Prongs! Time to get what you deserve!" Sirius shouted, his voice a lifeline for Remus to grab, to pull him out of the sea of thoughts he was slowly drowning in. Quickly, he tore himself away from the window, dragging himself towards the chessboard. "Knight to G6!"
"No, Padfoot, you wouldn't!" screeched James, but it was too late — his king was cornered and Sirius was moving in for the kill.
"Well done, Sirius," Remus said quietly, and the two of them looked up at him as he sat down next to the board, staring at the pieces intently.
"What took you so long?" Sirius asked petulantly, folding his arms. "You missed the glorious buildup to my grand victory."
"You have my condolences," Remus said, and Sirius rolled his eyes, holding out the box of Every Flavor Beans to him. Remus politely shook his head, and Sirius shrugged, tipping the box back and chugging the rest of the candy.
"You're disgusting, Padfoot," James said, wrinkling his nose, and Sirius gave him a wide grin.
"Delicious," he said with his mouth full, and Remus rolled his eyes. He tried to breathe deeply and lose himself in his friends' banter. There was nothing to be afraid of. He'd lived for twelve years with this, he could do it for twelve more. After all, he had his friends, didn't he? Friends who made every transformation a little easier.
But sometimes — no, always — he wished he was normal. He wished he didn't have the memories of the cold and the dark and the fangs and the iron cage. The cage that meant even his father was afraid of him. And when he woke up in the middle of the night from his dreams, breathing heavily and soaked with sweat, he had to remind himself that he was safe. That he was home.
"Alright, Moony, what's wrong?" demanded Sirius, dragging Remus from his thoughts once more. Awkwardly, he shook his head, knowing his friends would see right through his act, but he didn't need to trouble them again, not with this. Not after everything they'd done for him.
"Nothing," he said as strongly as he could, and James snorted, throwing an arm around his shoulders.
"Very convincing. Now what's wrong?" James asked, and Remus sighed, staring up at the ceiling.
"It's nothing you should be concerned with," he said, and now it was Sirius' turn to scoff, throwing up his hands.
"Well now we're bloody well concerned, thank you very much," he said loudly, snatching a stray bean from the chessboard and popping it into his mouth. "What is it? A girl? A boy? Too much homework? Too little homework? This is no time to be sad, Lupin, you're going to be a man tomorrow!"
"Come now, Moony, Padfoot is right. Don't be distraught. A man of almost wizarding age must be strong," James joked, holding up his fist, and Remus attempted a weak smile.
"I — really, both of you, it's nothing. Just a little shaken, is all," he said, and the smile fell off of James' face. Both of them sat down on the carpet next to Remus, Sirius stretching out his legs so that they took up most of the room.
"Honestly, Remus, just tell us. We can help. Probably," Sirius said, concern on his brash features, and James nodded emphatically.
Remus took a breath. He hated talking about that night, because talking about it made it real, and it made it here, and it made it now. He'd never told them about what had happened before, not really, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. But somewhere in his heart, a whisper of a voice made him know that he needed to. And he was ready to.
"Today is the anniversary of when I became like this," he said quietly, and James and Sirius listened intently without a sound. "A werewolf, I mean. I was young when it happened. Four, almost five. I remember going to bed early because I was so excited for my birthday the next day, and my father told me that the sooner I fell asleep the sooner it would come. Then I woke up to the sound of the window opening."
"You're joking," James breathed, his face contorting into anger, and Remus nodded solemnly.
"There he was, Fenrir Greyback, climbing into my room. He had the sharpest teeth I'd ever seen, and his smile — I was so scared, and I —" Remus' voice caught in his throat, the memories flooding back to him.
Wake up, little boy.
Let's have some fun.
Don't be scared, now.
I promise it won't hurt. Much.
"I'll kill him!" Sirius screamed, standing up and waving his fists in the air. "Just let me at him! I'll hunt him down and make him scream until he —"
"Padfoot, calm down!" James said, trying to push Sirius back down to the ground, but Sirius began storming out the room and bellowing threats.
"He'll be dead! Dead by morning!" Sirius yelled, and James ran over to him and tackled him, throwing him to the ground. "Let me go!"
"Stay down," James said through gritted teeth, Sirius thrashing around in his grip, and Remus couldn't keep the smile from his face.
"It's fine, Sirius," he said, inching over to try and separate the two of them, but it took another fifteen minutes for them to finally stop wrestling on the floor.
"Moony— I'm really sorry. We're terrible people for never talking to you about that. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you," James said, his brow furrowed and eyes serious.
Suddenly, Remus couldn't hold it in anymore, and he burst out in laughter. He wasn't sure where it came from, but suddenly his sadness was washed away. Maybe it was the way his friends tackled each other like children on the dormitory floor, or maybe it was the way James' face scrunched up like he was thinking very hard about how to be a good, concerned friend. Either way, it felt like a burden was lifted from his shoulders.
Being a werewolf was not what he had pictured for his life. It wasn't even something he had dreamed up, even as a four-year old boy. But, Merlin's beard, if he was going to be one, at least he had these two to make everything easier. And alongside them, he could do it. He knew he could, because there was no two better wizards than the two boys who sat beside him.
They had been willing to become animagi for him. For him, Remus Lupin, the broken werewolf boy who had been cast out of everything. So he knew he could be strong, for his friends, for his house, and for himself, because of the strength he had learned from them. Today would be hard. Nothing would change that, but he could be better than the memories, braver than the fear, stronger than the pain. And every minute was a reminder that he had been through hell and he had risen above it. And maybe that reminder wasn't so bad after all.
"You know what, James? It's okay. It's okay, and I'm okay, and I can handle today and every bloody day because I'm with you two," Remus said once he had composed himself, and James' confused expression split into a grin, the same look echoed on Sirius' face. "How am I supposed to be sad when I've got you two idiots on my side?"
"Oh, thank Merlin, I was worried I'd have to do some soul-searching with you. Give you some advice and all that," James said, eyes wide with mock terror, and Remus smiled at him.
"Actually, Moony, I think we should celebrate your birthday today. Stuff our faces with cake, maybe more Every Flavor Beans, and yell curses at Greyback. What do you say?" Sirius said, and Remus smiled.
"I'd like that," he said, and Sirius grinned. "As long as you don't chug anymore boxes of candy."
"I can't make any promises!" Sirius sang, dropping on all fours to dig underneath his bed in a suspiciously doglike way. "Aha!" He came up with five boxes of Every Flavor Beans and a sloppily wrapped package, a lopsided smile on his face.
"Hey, I've got him a present too!" shouted James, who rifled around in his bookbag for a small cardboard box. Remus waited patiently as the two brought forth their gifts, his heart buzzing warmly.
Slowly, he opened James' box, and his eyes widened once he saw what lay inside. It was a watch, smooth and glassy, with spinning gold hands that zipped around the face. He smiled when he saw the picture painted on the face of the watch — a wolf, all tousled fur and shining teeth.
"See, I asked my mum what you're supposed to get a wizard when he comes of age, and she said a watch. I thought that was kind of stupid, but, you know, I think it'll look rather dashing. As long as you don't break it. That was expensive," James declared, a triumphant smile on his face, and Remus gave him a grateful smile.
"Thank you, James," he said, turning it over and looking at the back of the watch. I love James Potter, it read, and Remus shook his head slowly, still smiling. "I should have known."
"No problem," James said with a quiet grin, and Remus felt his heart warm. Suddenly, Sirius pushed James out of the way, bringing forth his own package.
"Alright, that's enough of that!" he crowed, and Remus shook his head in mock disapproval as he unwrapped the present. He burst out laughing at the book that lay in his hands, and Sirius grinned back at him.
"Ten Ways to Identify a Werewolf?" Remus asked, and Sirius nodded excitedly. "This will be very useful, thank you, Sirius."
"I thought you'd find it interesting," Sirius said, nodding sagely, and Remus laughed. "But I have something else — a Zonko's subscription. Every month, they send you a whole box of stuff from the store! And I hope, since you're such a kind wolf-man, that you'll share with your generous friends."
Remus chuckled, looking at his two friends. It was like they could brighten any bad thing that came his way, and he wasn't sure how he'd gotten so lucky. And he was truly lucky, he realized, that a scraggly little werewolf like him had the two best friends anyone could ever ask for.