Tommy Merlyn, party boy, trust fund kid, and breaker of hearts, could have had it all.
There were girls, lots of them, who wanted his body or his money. Maybe, along the way, one or two even wanted his heart.
And all Tommy Merlyn saw was Laurel Lance.
The first time he met her was at a high school party. They didn't go to the same high school, of course—he was Malcom Merlyn's son and Oliver Queen's best friend, and she was the daughter of a cop and a teacher, living in a small house with a younger sister and barely enough money to make ends meet.
How she ended up at that party, Tommy never asked.
Didn't care.
Laurel Lance.
Strong and fierce and god, she was radiant. Strikingly so. She was all dark hair and eyes; eyes that sparkled with life and fire and passion.
Still, Tommy didn't know he was in love until he saw her smile.
(How do you breathe? He asks Oliver, who laughs and shoves him and says he's drunk.)
(He's not. He knows it. It's just that the girl across the room has dark eyes and she's smiling; she's smiling at him).
Of course, she ends up with Oliver almost immediately, because that's how it works. Oliver, despite being every bit the shallow party boy, has a charisma that draws people to him, and Laurel falls for him hard.
Tommy, being sixteen and a little drunk, makes a fool of himself in front of Laurel and goes home with a wild red-haired girl who doesn't ask too many question. (When he wakes up the next morning with his wallet missing and the sheets rumpled, he figures it's worth it if it means forgetting that damn dark-haired girl who made him forget how to fill his lungs with air).
Oliver and Laurel stay together, and Tommy's alone.
Sara Lance knows.
He can tell.
She's the polar opposite of her straight-edged sister; small and lithe and wild and fiercely bright, but every time she looks at Tommy, her eyes are gentle with understanding.
They end up in bed a few times, early in college. It's after one of their many parties, and Laurel and Oliver have already disappeared together.
Sara watches them go, and there is something flashes in her eyes until she looks at Tommy.
(He wonders if both he and Sara think of other people even as they share the same bed).
Sara, of course, makes him forget. She is as fierce and daring and dirty-minded in bed as she is in every other part of her life.
(He thinks or Laurel, and she thinks of Oliver, but at least, at least it's a good fuck).
Tommy didn't leave immediately after, though, as he usually did. He laid beside Sara Lance, and she reached for him, her hands gentle.
"They all say you're a good fuck," she said, grinning wolfishly, but her eyes are soft. "And damn, boy, they were right."
He grinned. If Laurel Lance was like waking up to a breath of fresh air, Sara Lance was like falling into a pleasant dream.
(And since that day when he was eight years old, Tommy Merlyn has been the boy who is terrified of waking up).
"I've seen the way you look at her," Sara said suddenly, and the sadness in her voice makes him flinch.
"I've seen the way you look at him," Tommy returned, and her eyes looked suddenly wistful.
"God, we're a mess," he muttered. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too," she whispered, and her smile was sad. "I shouldn't have… we shouldn't have done that. Not when we were both thinking of other people."
And for half a second, Sara Lance looked like she might cry.
Tommy pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead.
She curled closer, and he treasured the warmth of someone, someone who understood. "We'll be okay," she says finally, and her voice is strong. "You and I, we'll be okay."
College is better.
He's harder and colder now, and he and Sara Lance haven't spoken since high school.
Tommy and Oliver go to three different Ivy League colleges over the course of those few years, partying and getting kicked out of each one of them.
(What are you going to do? His father screams at him).
(Tommy is hollow).
((Laurel puts herself through college with honors and gets accepted into law school).
(What do I do? I sleep. I dream. I do not wake.)
After he is kicked out of the third college, Oliver Queen boards a yacht, Sara Lance follows him, and Tommy Merlyn wakes long enough to realize he has—again—forgotten how to breathe.
They find their way home to each other after that, he and Laurel.
At first it was just sex.
Drunk, grief-driven, angry sex.
And then one morning, Tommy woke up with Laurel Lance still in his bed, and the sunlight on her face looked like hope.
She smiled up at him, and it's that same smile he saw all those years ago, the smile he fell in love with—bright and passionate and beautiful, even with the shadow of grief touching the edge.
And Tommy Merlyn knows he wants to wake up to this every morning for the rest of his life.
Five years pass with Laurel Lance at his side, and Oliver returns without Sara.
Tommy is buried. In grief, in joy, in guilt. His best friend is home, but Sara is lost, and he and Laurel… he and Laurel have something together that Oliver doesn't deserve to have with her, not after what he did.
(But he loves them both. Why does he still love them both, after how Laurel has been hurt?)
There are questions, too.
Will she love Oliver again?
She hated him and grieved for Oliver Queen in equal parts, and now that the grief is gone, will the hatred leave, too?
Tommy is afraid to talk to her.
Afraid to ask her.
He's drunk when he calls and asks her who she loves.
She doesn't hesitate.
I love Tommy Merlyn. I also think he should go to bed so I can get some sleep. Some of us have to actually work, you know.
God, he loves her.
So he asks her another question, about moving in together.
(She tosses an old picture of Oliver in the bin, turns off the news that has reports of the hooded vigilante, and tells him yes).
And Tommy Merlyn is, finally, awake.