The air in the isolated region of La Push had a crisp scent. The previous night's rain had mixed with the wildflowers giving the land an earthy smell. The damp ground was wet with dew and the grass seemed to stand a little taller than the week before. Spring had finally arrived in the little region of Washington and most of its residents smiled happily at the beauty of the morning.
Leah Clearwater was not one of those residents. She lay in bed debating feigning a mental illness. Her mother would no doubt throw a fit, insisting Leah not ruin Emily's day. Leah stalked around her parent's home that morning, glowering at the sour taste of her coffee and cursing when she hit her head on their too-tiny bathroom door. To say her mood was fowl was an understatement. Her mother should have known not to bring up the subject.
"Soooo..." Sue Clearwater started trying to sound casual and doing just the opposite, "are you meeting Emily there or is she picking you up?"
Leah sat across from her mother at the kitchen table not meeting her mother's gaze. Why does she need to know? Leah thought angrily stabbed two pieces stuck together.
"I'm not driving with the little bitch." Leah stated between gritted teeth. She could feel her stomach churning as she forced herself to take a bite. "I'll meet her there, try on the stupid dress, and then I'm gone."
She spoke between mouthfuls trying to match her mother's false nonchalance. She felt her stomach slightly pull in from the white lie she told her mother, but it only lasted a second. She had no intention of seeing Emily, but she wasn't about to let her mother in on her plans. Sue was a tough woman but Emily and Leah's split had put a strain on her mother, who saw Emily like a second daughter. She had taken Leah's side when everything had first happened and was only ever polite to Emily when they saw each other, but Leah could see her mother desperately wanted them to be friends again. For them to be family again. Fat chance.
"Leah," Her mother sighed, trying to catch Leah's eye, "are you even going to try and be cordial to her?"
"Why should I?" Leah's grip on her spoon tightened and she became very interested in her cereal. She spoke through gritted teeth again, "I already agreed to be in the wedding for fucks sake. She gets what she wants. Sam gets to see his precious Emily happy, so he gets what he wants. Everybody wins." She grumbled the last part into her breakfast hoping her mother would leave the subject alone. They ate in silence for a while, Leah occasionally glancing up at her mother. Sue had hardly touched her cereal lost in thought. The milk had turned brown and her cornflakes were soggy. Leah could see her mother was suffering from the cousin's non-relationship and the loss of another daughter. She felt the guilt creep up before she quickly shut it down. She had enough to worry about today.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Had it not been for her super sensitive hearing she would not have heard her mother's whispered words. Sue's eyes were filled with concern, but all Leah heard was pity in the question. "Maybe I could help smooth things over with you two…We could…"
"No. I don't have any intention of smoothing things over with her."
Leah dropped her spoon suddenly loosing her appetite. Pushing the bowl away, she quickly stood. "I'm going out." Leah disappeared from the kitchen to fast for her mother to protest.
It was only 11:00 a.m. when Leah fled the house so she opted for walking alone on the beach to escape her own misery. It proved a futile effort as her mother's words kept replaying in her head and the thought of being pitied took over her mind. She felt like she was going to be sick as her stomach churned with nervousness at the possibility of seeing Emily. It had been almost two years since they had last spoken. Leah had told her to go to hell and Emily had cried.
Since then Leah did her best to avoid her cousin but La Push was too small not to see Emily at pack bonfires or out shopping for groceries at the Stop N' Shop. As soon as she saw the scarred girl or caught her scent in the wind she would high tail it in the other direction. Their run-ins were infrequent and awkward. Neither cousin knew what to say. For the first couple months after Sam imprinted, Emily often tried calling and seeing Leah in-person. Leah never picked up the phone and always made Seth answer the door, refusing to acknowledge her cousin's deep betrayal. She had been so depressed after Sam dumped her she hardly left the house, let alone her room. After Leah had phased, things were different. Leah became unfathomably angry.
Emily, however, gained hope that Leah might now be understanding and they could be friends again. Emily tried talking to her after a pack meeting once two weeks after Leah phased. The meetings were always at Sam and Emily's place and Emily has ambushed her by asking her out to lunch. Leah had stormed out of the house without a word, Sam following her. The ex's had a screaming match right their in the front yard. Sam had been insistent on her reconcile with Emily as it was causing tension in the pack. Leah had angrily yelled that Emily wasn't in the "stupid pack" before losing control and shredding her clothes. Sam phased after her wanting to continue the argument, but it didn't last very long. Leah had roared at Sam that Emily was dead to her and if she kept calling or trying to maintain a friendship, Emily would find her cat dead on their doorstep the next morning. She had even threatened to skin it first. Sam had been so shocked by her thoughts he couldn't even respond and phased back. Emily stayed away after that.
Leah later admitted to herself that it was a bit drastic, even psychotic. Those first few months as a new wolf though she often felt like she was losing her mind, not understanding the beast within her. She now knew she got carried away in the moment arguing with Sam and her wolf had taken control.
It was two years since the cousins had spoken and since her life was destroyed. She was living her dream one moment then the next, she was in her own personal nightmare. A nightmare that was eternal. It still felt like yesterday that Sam told her he was leaving her for Emily. She felt like someone had punched her in the gut and that heavy terrible feeling had remained.
When Leah consciously thinks about her life, it is a struggle to breathe. Like the air was too thick and she might suffocate at any moment. Like she is losing control of her own lungs and body. It is why she stopped self-reflecting months ago and had darkly declared to her mother "I'm living in my nightmares".
Leah kicks up sand as she walks forcing her thoughts to focus. She digs around in her pocket till she feels the smooth hard material of her cell phone. Taking it out of her pocket, she quickly pushes the number three for speed dial. The phone rings four times before Jacob picks up.
"Hey! Uhh...one second!" She hears his deep voice in addition to a piano in the background, shuffling noises, then a door slamming.
"Hi sorry, I was helping Ness with the new piece Edward wrote for her."
"You know how to play the piano? Or read music?" Leah asks a teasing smile breaking out across her face. She can picture Jake's goofy grim break out. His voice matches the image she created.
"Well no. Ness is the real star. I'm there for moral support. You know? Plus, I help turn the music pages. Music sheets - She keeps correcting me on that. I'm a professional helper in training."
She can hear Jake's smile through the phone. Of course he was with his little spawn. He is always with his precious Renesmee. The creepily, angelic 8-month-old child – that looks like a 4 year old and has intelligence superior to most of Forks – has Jacob wrapped around her perfect manicured finger. He often surrendered to her every desire, whim, and demand, whether it be games, toys, or candy. It disturbed Leah how easily he gave in to her every wish.
"Hmmm. Is that so?" She asks already loosing interest in the Nessie-conversation. His obsession had grown boring months ago.
"Yea. She has gotten really good now. She started working on some harder compositions today by Beethoven and Chopin. Already has all of Bach's pieces memorized. God I can't get over how quickly she learns. She's a sponge that just soaks up everything in sight. It's incredibly! You know she started learning Latin? She's already fluent in like 3 other languages – Spanish, French and Italian. I asked her why bother with a dead language. You know what she told me?"
"What?" Leah deadpans. Jake took no notice of her lack of interest as he continued enthusiastically.
"She said if she learned the root language she could learn other languages quicker!" He says laughing. "Like 3 languages isn't enough for an 8 month old! Maybe I should start teaching her Quileutean…thought I've forgot all the grammar...never was very good at it in school. Although you'd be way better at teaching her that stuff than me…" He trails off knowing not to ask me to teach the hybrid. "Anyway, what's up?"
Leah stops picking her nails at his change of subject and switches the phone to her other ear. She stays quiet for a moment.
"Well Mr. Professional helper, I could actually use some moral support. I'm supposed to be seeing Emily today to get fitted for my bridesmaid dress."
She hears Jacob inhale heavily over the phone. If Leah had her long hair, her hands would nervously be playing in it.
"Ahhh."
His enthusiastic tone disappearing as a long silence hangs. Jake had never been good at handling the complicated triangle that is Leah-Sam-Emily. She only called him now because he had arranged the whole bridesmaid thing as a deal with Sam. And maybe because he was one of the few people she could call a friend.
"Well play nice, try on the dress, and then you can leave. It'll be over before you know it."
"Knowing her it's probably a horrible pale sunset orange color. Or some puke peach with a big bow" Leah starts poking fun at her cousin. Really Emily's sense of style was fine, but Leah can't stop herself.
"Yea or a nasty shade of green with girly frills," Jake teases playing along. "Think how good you'll look walking down the isle next to Paul."
Leah laughs nervously trying to ease the tension inside her. It doesn't work and Jake senses it.
"You'll be fine Leah. You're a bad-ass, shape shifting werewolf and a kick-ass beta. You've fought off new born vampires, you're the fastest wolf out of both packs, and your better than Paul at smack talk, so he won't be able to say shit no matter what your wearing. You can do this. It's just for an hour or so today." He softly reassures her, "Plus you terrify the shit out of most of Sam's pack. Emily hasn't got a leg to stand on."
The tension in Leah's chest lessens and she forces herself to smile, even though Jacob won't see it through the phone.
"Thanks Jake."
Out of everyone in her life, she feels most comfortable around him. Well, minus Seth, but brother's are different than friends. Jacob has understood her when it seemed no one else did. He was patient with her and could make her really laugh on occasion. He sympathized with suffering from a lost love. Though she could hardly call his little crush on Bella comparable to her engagement to Sam. She felt more of the nerves leave her before Jacob suspicious voice fills the phone.
"Wait, backtrack. What did you mean supposed to see her?"
Ahh shit. She had slipped. God dammit. This is what you got for calling Jake and needing reassurance.
"Nothing." Leah answers too quickly. "I'm seeing her."
"Leah"
"Ooh alright!" Leah snaps. "I was going to go an hour early before Emily got there. I try on the dress and slip out before she even gets there."
"Leah, your in her wedding party for god's sakes!" he exclaims "You are going to have to talk to her eventually."
"Yea well the longer I can put that off the better for my mental stability."
"Don't you want to move on? Get past everything that has happened? It would be good for you to see her." Jacob's voice is gentle but holds a hint of frustration. "You can get closure and move on with your life."
"What life Jacob? This life? Because this is not the life I choose. I don't want to see her. I don't want to talk to her. Ever. She reminds me of everything I can't have. Everything I don't have. I don't even want to be in the same room as her."
"That's a joke right?" He asks seriously, his thoughts quickly drifting to Sam and their deal. "You have to talk to her and move on. You can't stay angry at the world forever, Leah. I refuse to travel with someone so gloomy."
"My life's a living hell, Jake." She tells him flatly. "Sam and Emily just remind me of the past."
She hears him sigh heavily through the phone. The Alpha and Beta had had this conversation before. It always ends the same. The Alpha did not having any control over the She-wolf in this regard. Jacob doesn't understand why Leah chooses to be so miserable.
"Fine. Don't see her today. But Sam isn't going to be happy about this and I don't want hear him barking about it later. You have to see her before the wedding and that's final. Be nice or the deal will be off. Got it?" His voice changes to his alpha tone though it holds no command.
"Fine."
"Good. And don't forget you have patrol with Embry later today. The Cullens have guests coming in from South America tomorrow also. Their friend's of Nahuel from Rio I think. The Cullens don't know these vamps, so I want us to take precautions. I need you to join Seth and Brady's shift tomorrow night just in case. I'll be close by. Sam has Jared and Carter patrolling around La Push."
"Can't their visitors hold off until the move? All this activity is attracting unwanted attention." Leah asks irritably.
Another set of red-eyed vampires in our valley? God it's like the Cullens sent out personal invitations to every fucking vampire in America to see their amazing-fucking-devil spawn. She'll make you see pictures in your mind and then she'll school you in Greek philosophy.
"Yea well it's important. Nahuel thinks they may know something new about Renesmee's growth pattern." Jacob states. The damn kid. Why did everything always have to revolve around her?
"We'll keep an eye out then."