Drowning Lessons

Author's Note: Finally my AU version of Disenchanted! Technically speaking, this is an Alternate Universe sequel, and I'll have an AU story starting from Regulus's first year, mostly told in Emmeline's point of view up in a bit. For those of you who haven't read Disenchanted, this is basically… what might've happened if Regulus hadn't joined the Death Eaters. Damn, that sounds cheesy and clichéd. I'm not quite sure that I'm going to finish this, it's just something I'm toying with right now, but if people like it, I'll be happy to continue.

Regulus's POV

"Emma? For fuck's sake, Emma, get up!"

"Five more minutes?"

"In five minutes, Sirius'll kill you."

She got up slowly. "Why'll he kill me?" she muttered.

"Because Remus was just over, worried sick because you weren't home."

Emmeline groaned. "Damn him."

"And to pacify himself, he launched himself into Sirius's chocolate stores. So, now Sirius blames you for having almost no chocolate left."

"Damn," Emmeline groaned. She magicked her clothes on.

"I'll see you later," she whispered, kissing me on the cheek before Disapparating.

I, for one, was glad that I was already dressed because a few seconds later, my brother burst into the room like a madman. "Where is she?"

"Who?"

"You know damn well who!" he snapped. "Emmeline Vance!"

"She left," I shrugged, going into the kitchen to get something to eat.

"Well her overprotective brother, Remus Lupin, aka my former friend, ate ninety percent of my remaining chocolate stores!"

"Where's Aza?" I asked.

"Prongs and Lily's," he answered. "And she and Lupin better replace my chocolate stores or else–"

"Aza and I won't have to put up with you bouncing all over the place?"

Sirius glared at me. Obviously he didn't find this very amusing at all. "I need chocolate to survive. You should know this by now!"

I stared at him. "Honeydukes is open, you know. You can go buy more chocolate… right now."

"But it's July, it's hot out!"

"If you want the chocolate as much as you say you do, you won't give a damn."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at me. "No. I wanna watch the telly."

What was he, four? "I suppose you won't get your chocolate then."

In response, Sirius grabbed my arm and Dissapparated.

I'd forgotten to put shoes on, and my feet were cold, even if it was July. "What the bloody hell did you do that for!?"

Sirius glared at me. "I want chocolate dammit, and I'm going to get it. Now, come on, we've only got about three blocks to walk."

Three blocks in a busy London street barefoot was a long way. "Sirius, are we near Islington and Cambridge?"

Sirius shrugged. "Think so, why."

"Because I see John and you look like a bloody loony."

"You're in a bad mood today," Sirius frowned. He did look like a loony, he was wearing a Beatles t-shirt with a clashing pair of polka-dotted pajama pants, the most bizarre sandals I'd ever seen, and he had an absolutely crazed expression on his face.

I, on the other hand, didn't look like a complete loon. I was wearing a pair of old jeans and my old anti-Beatles t-shirt. Even if I was barefoot.

"No," I said, realization dawning on me, "no, no, no, no, Sirius, you are not going to Emma's flat."

"Moony said he was waiting there."

If he was, Emma herself wouldn't be there.

"Black!"

I turned to face John. "Hey, mate, what's up?"

"Do I want to know why you're shoeless?"

"My idiot of a brother dragged me out of bed because he wants vengeance on Emma for making her brother worried and he, in turn, eating all of my brother's chocolate."

John looked at Sirius. "He looks like a fashion nightmare."

I snorted. "That's one way to put it."

John grinned, amused, revealing his teeth. Sirius froze.

"Well, tell Emma I've been wondering where the hell you two have been."

"If he–" -I jerked my thumb toward Sirius- "doesn't scare her off."

John laughed. "I think she's seen things that are far more frightening. See you round, Reg."

"You, too."

After John was out of earshot Sirius rounded on me. "You're friends with Johnny bloody Rotten!?"

I laughed. "Yeah, so?"

Sirius's eyes grew wide in awe. "You… you know him. He's my bloody hero! Rebellion and all that."

I snorted, again, at Sirius's idiocy. "Well, congratulations, he thinks you're a Beatle-loving loony."

"What did you tell him about me?"

I laughed, further amused. As a matter of fact, I was laughing so hard that I couldn't stop.

"You," I gasped, "actually care," I laughed again, "what – John bloody – thinks of you!?"

Sirius glared at me. "Yes, I do. What have you told him?"

"That your name's Sirius and you're an annoying, conceited pain in the arse?"

"Wait!" Sirius yelled, running in the direction John had left, the polar opposite of our original destination. "John! Hold on a tick! I want to talk to youuuu!"

I snorted (I seemed to be doing that a lot today), and continued the two-and-a-half-blocks to Emma's flat.

Once there, I found Remus. A very angry Remus.

"Er, hello, Remus, d'you know where Emma is?"

He jumped up, "No, I bloody well do not. And may I ask where she was last night?"

"With me?"

"And why didn't she tell me?!" he yelled.

"Because… Remus, I repeat, she was with me all last night and part of this morning."

That did nothing to calm him. "You're sleeping with her!?"

Wrong thing to say, apparently. "I'm not quite comfortable with disclosing that information to you…"

"If you do anything to her, Black, anything at all, I will kill you."

"We've had this conversation before," I pointed out.

"You… and Emmeline… my god…" Unfortunately, his daze didn't last long, because he was yelling at me again. "It was bad enough when Lily and I walked in on you two snogging–"

I interrupted him. "To be fair, you and Lily were snogging, too. A fact which the two of you conveniently forgot to tell James… or Sirius… or Aza… or… anyone but Emma and I."

He glared at me. "That's beside the point. You're snogging my sister."

"Technically, she's not you're biological sister, was she even legally adopted?"

Remus was still glaring. "By Muggle law, yes."

"She's only a year younger than you, and I'm less than that."

"You're teenagers!" he yelled. "You shouldn't be doing that!"

I raised an eyebrow. "You know, you're a teenager, too. You're nineteen, but you're still a teenager."

My arguments were, apparently, not good enough for him, even though they were all valid points.

"What about Meissa?"

He had to bring her into this?

"Montague?"

"What other Meissa do both of us know?" he asked angrily. "Yes, Meissa Montague. You can't expect everyone to buy that it was a potion that did it."

I groaned. "It bloody well did! For fuck's sake, Remus, d'you think that I'd cheat on Emma at all? Especially with, of all people, Meissa Montague, who deserves to be classified as a stalker, not an ex-arranged-fiancée. And that she'd get pregnant from that? She's mental, Remus!"

He glared at me. "I know that she's mental. But I still don't believe–"

"Meissa Montague, Remus. She's an absolutely mental, jealous, annoying girl. D'you think I'd even look twice at her?"

"She's pretty, that's plain to anyone with eyes."

"She is, yes, but nothing at all compared to Emma," I said. "She's also a potions ace, and as we've established, loony enough to do that."

"Where did she get your DNA?"

I laughed exasperatedly. I really didn't need this. I wasn't sure this was too much better than trying to pull Sirius off of John, which someone was bound to be doing right now. "I don't know, but it wouldn't have been that hard to sneak into the boys' dormitories and steal a hair off of my brush."

He had to admit that this was true.

"Look, I love Emma," I said, "I'd never do anything to hurt her, not intentionally. And if I did without meaning to, I'd do everything in my power to make it better."

He opened his mouth, about to make a witty retort, but was stopped by a voice asking, "Does this belong to you, Regulus?"

I turned to see a smiling Emmeline holding an angry/disappointed Sirius by his shirt.

"Well, I dunno. He did abandon me for John…"

"That's where I found him," she laughed. "I had to pull him off of John. He was promising–"

"I'm his new best friend, I know it," Sirius insisted stubbornly. "I'll be as loyal as a dog to him and none of you can stop me!"

I snorted (again) and grinned. "What did John do?"

Emma laughed again. "He thought Sirius was a loony, wanted away from him, and told me that he couldn't believe you have such a mental brother."

Sirius pouted.

Remus had to break this relatively happy subject to ask, "Emma, why the hell were you at Regulus's house last night?"

I shot her an apologetic glance.

"Oh, you know, Regulus, Sirius and I are having a steamy affair," she said nonchalantly.

Remus wasn't amused, but Emma continued. "I mean, look at them. Even if Sirius is a loony…"

Sirius sniffled. "I am not a loony."

"Yes, you are," I assured him. "But we all love you for it, even if none of us know why."

Sirius glared at me. I was getting a lot of glares today.

"The truth, Emmeline," Remus insisted.

"I am telling the truth! Sirius is a loony! I just had to pull him off of John Lydon, who went to get a restraining order. And look at his clothes!"

"About Regulus."

"Oh, well, that's a different story."

"You were at his house last night why?" he asked.

"I'd think it was obvious," Emma laughed. I had to admit that I appreciated her nerve, even if now wasn't the time for it.

"You're sleeping with him?"

"I prefer the term passionate lovers, but, yes."

Remus was about to go ballistic.

"Oh, it's not like I'm not dating him! I bloody love Regulus!"

"What're your intentions, Black?" Remus asked, rounding on me.

"He wants to knock me up and then leave, never to be seen again," Emmeline said nonchalantly.

"Black."

"Er…" I hadn't really thought it over. "I love her. She's the most amazing person I've ever met…"

"Your intentions," Remus insisted. I really wasn't liking today.

"Right." He'd kill me if I said that I didn't know, or even if I cracked a joke… especially if I cracked a joke. "Er…"

"Don't tell me that you don't know."

Remus was bloody scaring me. "I want…"

I turned to Emmeline. It was a bit sooner than I'd hoped. Well, maybe not, but certainly not the circumstances I'd been counting on, not romantic in the least, but that couldn't be helped now.

I grabbed the ring in the box out of my pocket. "Emma," I began, getting down on one knee, "will you marry me?"