I'm one of those hopeless people who'd still like to believe that Athrun and Cagalli COULD end up together. I'm also one of those people who believes that Stella(steller) was just a copy off of Cagalli and her and Shinn were just a sad copy off of Athrun and Cagalli's relationship the way Fukada thought he should have screwed up thier lives.

whew... so after that i'm sure half of you hate me, and the other half... well just dislike me very much. lol.

I'm back out of haitus though and now your going to be able to view loads of my updates. This is the first installment of four, and I do hope you like it as it is my view onward from the last scene in GSD.

Brief Disclaimer: because you all know we hate to announce formerly that we have no given right to anime... but I do not unfortunately and again unfortunately I own no rights to hurt or maim fukuda so any mention of that I purely disclaim as being true. ok? good.

PROLOGUE

It was bitterly cold beyond the walls of the Atha Estate, and Cagalli couldn't even fathom the depths of the oceans waters as the swells ran high above the docks. She could tell the precise moment before the waves would recede back into the vast ocean, and yet she only wished that for that one moment time could just stop. Ever since peace had been restored to earth and plant she had been stuck indoors attending conference after conference. However she only wished to have time to exonerate her own subject of depression.

Her eyes couldn't leave the deep blue waves, she only watched at that one small patch of ocean she was able to spy from the second story window, just hoping to see some sign of life. Not specifically life in general just proof that she still lived. For her life was her country, and up till now war was her biggest enemy, now with it gone she didn't know what would come next. She wasn't sad at this fact, only fearful of what other scary things she could possibly encounter.

The wind blew hard against the window, causing a whistling sound to resonate throughout the hall. She could imagine green eyes on her, but her imagination was always well above expectations. She knew that Athrun hadn't been to the estate in nearly three weeks, he'd been helping out in Plant along with Kira and Lacus in leading the prospering nation.

She couldn't blame him, and she knew that he had no obligation to her any longer. That promise had been made long ago, and broken with Athrun's re-entry into the forces of Orb. Maybe Yuna had been right all along, a natural and a coordinator just don't work. She rested her forehead on the chilled glass. Of course her line of thinking was completely wrong, she was just looking for a way to justify the way things had turned out for them.

When Athrun had left port for that one last time Cagalli couldn't bear to say her goodbye to him because as she feared it would be their last. She already knew of the growing feelings between he and Meyrin Hawke, it was clear from the way they worried and asked about each other. She just couldn't bear to let things go, she knew she had no choice but to stay with her country but she wanted so bad to join them in their battle. Her place was destined though, and without a word to him she gave her approval to Meyrin.

It was all kind of ironic in the end, the way the two had been so determined in escaping the zaft base, Meyrin lending her aid to Athrun when he needed her most. Yet Cagalli could remember back when she had done the same at Jakin Due. In that final battle she had convinced him to not give up his own life because in her eyes that was the cowards way out, to live was the biggest battle our of all, and that they could do together.

At the end of the first war they had many things in common with one another. Such as the fact they had both lost their fathers in the war. They could comfort and protect each other. When Athrun decided to use the pseudonym Alex Dino and follow her to Orb she was both astonished and contented. It meant that she wouldn't be alone in her grief, or in her quest to prevent another war from crossing the shores of Orb.

However that dream never founded itself did it? He left when he thought that it would be the best thing to do, mainly because he wanted so badly to be able to do something instead of just sitting back and watching the war advance in his absence from zaft. Though could you really blame him? His whole life had been about how the coordinators needed to be protected, not exactly in the way he was considering but it's about the same.

He never should have been treated the way he was in Orb, and even though Cagalli wished she could she couldn't blame it all on Yuna either. It was her fault too, for leaning on him so much, she didn't give enough into their relationship and expected far too much. When the Archangel had returned to port they had shared an embrace which she had thought might lead to their relationship advancing once more however with his visits with Kiera and his new friends Shinn and the Hawke sisters she could only spare time for a few moments of discussion with him in which was granted a quick "how are you doing?" and "I plan to go back to Plant." There was no room for "I love you's." or perhaps "I miss you's."

After that meeting she hadn't heard back from him, not one letter, not one phone call. She knew it was for the best though perhaps it would cause her to finally let him go. She had half expected him to just stop in from time to time, maybe just as a courtesy towards their friendship. However nowadays their relationship seemed almost nonexistent.

Cagalli turned around and headed back into her office, the wide French doors closing directly after she'd stepped beyond the threshold. She couldn't bear to watch the waves anymore, because unfortunately they just kept coming back, reminding her of the thing she most wanted to return to her. However she almost knew for sure that would never happen.