This Ain't No Romance Novel

This wasn't one of her romance novels, if it were she'd have the words to tell him the truth without hurting him. Without breaking both of their hearts.

Sighing, Blake went about wiping down a counter at Company after it had closed, listening with a smile as Frank helped Clarissa with her homework, the whole time thinking that this was what had been missing from her life the past few years.

She knew in her heart she was falling in love with Frank, and knew that he was the type of man that Ross would be happy to see her with. In fact, a part of her wondered why it had taken her and Frank so long to get together. Her boys adored him and Clarissa was eating up the affection the man bestowed on her the same way she used to the affection Ed had given to her. But the more she watched it, the further invovled she got, the more she knew she couldn't keep up the charade she was.

She had to admit, she didn't know how Harley had done it when she was the one helping her. When she had thought that it would be best for Ross to be with Holly. Sighing, she put down the towel, thinking about how much time she had lost with the love of her life over that mistake.

And it wasn't that she thought that Natalia saw Frank as the love of her life. Hell, she wasn't even sure if Natalia knew who she was in love with--- Frank or Olivia--- but she did know one thing, if there was going to be something between her and Frank, she had to tell him the truth.

Frank looked up from helping Clarissa with her Civics homework to look over at Blake, watching the conflicting emotions cross her face. "Hey, why don't you go get a cookie or piece of cake to keep up your energy," he suggested.

Clarrisa rolled her eyes: "you just want to get mushy with my mom. But that's all right. I don't mind. In fact we all don't."

"You don't huh?" Frank asked raising an eyebrow.

"Ah huh. The three of us took a vote. We like you with our mom, so go ahead and get mushy. We don't care," she informed him calmly as she closed her textbook. "But I'm not going to refuse sugar," she continued with a laugh as she rose.

"Get going squirt," Frank shot back on a laugh as he got to his feet and crossed to Blake. "That's some kid you have there," he told her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"What?"

Frank laughed: "hey where were you? Working on some new book plot?"

Blake sighed: "I wish it were that simple, Frank."

"Ok, then what? Tell the nice police man."

Blake smiled sadly: "Let's go outside, I don't want the Clarissa to hear," she said as she started towards the door, perplexed Frank followed her out. "It's a beautiful night, isn't it? The sky's so clear. . ."

"Blake, you didn't ask me out here to look at the stars. What's wrong?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her, noting how she tensed, he pulled back. "You know if you want to slow this down or stop it. . ."

Blake turned, tears glistening in her eyes: "that's not what I want, Frank. I don't think I've been this happy since before Ross left for DC."

"Then what is it? You're not crying because you're happy."

Swiping at the tears, Blake faked a laugh: "One of the problems with dating and old friend and former partner is they read you so well."

"Blake, you can tell me anything," he said as he took her hand and led her over to a nearby bench.

"That's just it, Frank. I can't tell you this. It's not my secret to tell, and my knowing it and continuing my relationship with you. . ." she shook her head. "You'd never forgive me for keeping this secret."

"Then tell me."

"I promised someone I wouldn't," she told him simply.

"Blake. . ." he sighed in exasperation.

Turning she put her finger over his lips: "I can point you in the right direction, though. You're a detective, I'm sure you can figure it out if I give you the clues."

Frank shook his head: "fine. Point me in the right direction then."

"Remember my first book?"

"The one you wrote when you were pregnant with Clarissa and thought Ross and your mother should be together?" he asked.

"Yeah, that one."

"I'm not following."

"Remember what I did to try to. . ." she stopped. "I went away with only Harley knowing where to find me because I thought it was best for the people involved."

"Blake, you're not making any sense."

Sighing she rose: "I suppose because I know the secret in my head I am," turning towards him she looked at him sadly. "If I were to rewrite it--- using other people. There would be a wedding interrupted and--- and the woman in between wouldn't show up to announce her new love because of her confusion.
Oh, it wouldn't be because of her family--- well, maybe her son--- it would be more because of her religious beliefs and the fact that. . . well, her situation would be a lot like the character based on me."

"Blake. . ." Frank started, then paused. "Wait a minute are you suggesting that Natalia. . ." Blake nodded mutely. "THAT's why she left? She wasn't going to tell me? What is she planning on doing? Doesn't she think I'd figure it out when she came back with a baby?"

"I don't think she has a plan, Frank," Blake admitted. "I don't think she knows what she's going to do about anything."

Frank looked down at his hands and then up at her: "you didn't have to tell me--- even hint at it. Why?"

"Because I've learnt that keeping secrets like this destroy relationships, and I want this one to work," Blake admitted.

"And what if Natalia decides she wants to make it work with me? What if I want to be a father to my child? I missed out on so much of Marina's life. . ." he shook his head, confused.

"Then that's your decision to make, Frank. I'd only ask that you still. . . look, my kids adore you, especially Clarissa. The relationship you two have, well it kinda reminds me of me and Ed. I just. . . if you choose something else. . . someone else, then please don't just toss them aside. They've lost so much already."

"You know I wouldn't do that," Frank told her as he stood up. "I told you that when we decided to tell the kids we were dating. Even if it didn't work out I'd still be there for them. Hell, Natalia and I didn't work out and I still have Rafe coming around."

"That's because you're a good man, Frank," Blake said with a smile as she put a hand to his cheek.

"And you're a better woman then you give yourself credit for, Blake," he said as he covered her hand with his. "We'll figure this out. I'll find away to be a part of my child's life, but no matter what Natalia decides--- if she wants me or Olivia--- she's not who I want."

"Frank?"

"I don't want someone who can't be honest with me. Whether it's that they're pregnant with my child or that they're questioning their sexuality. It took a lot of strength for you to tell me--- bring me to this conclusion. You knew that I could've chosen to go after her."

"You mean you're not going to?" Blake asked surprised.

"Maybe to talk to her, but nothing more. I've come to the conclusion that what we shared wasn't real. What you and I have could be. You wanna take a chance on me?" Frank asked with a slight smile.

"Oh, I definitely want to take a chance on you," she replied leaning in for a kiss.

"Ill, don't you guys ever stop?" Jason asked as he came upon them.

Rolling her eyes, Blake pulled back: "what are you doing here? I thought you were going to some party."

"It was completely lame. Besides, Rissa called and wanted me to pick her up. Said you two were at it again. Kevin's in the car," her son explained.

Wrapping his arm around Blake's waist and leaning his head on hers, Frank smiled at the teenager: "you guys could just hang out here."

"As if," Jason replied. "We're going to see some movie Rissa wants to see. Total fluff, but it makes her happy, so, whatever?" he shrugged.

"You're a good brother," Blake commented as a horn honked in the distance and Clarrissa came running out of the restaurant.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," Jason complained good naturedly.

"Have fun," Blake called after them as she leaned into Frank. "They grow up so fast. . ."

"If you're right. . . well, you might be getting another one around here," Frank commented.

Blake pulled back and laughed at him: "just remember the baby's going to be younger then your grandson."

"You had to bring THAT up?" he asked on a groan.

"Just my way of saying that if you're up to it, so am I."

Frank nodded: "how about some coffee."

"How about a little more?" Blake challenged. "I mean the kids will be at the movies for at least two hours and Buzz is with Lillian. . ."

"You know I like the way you think. Help me finish closing up and we can see what we can do with those two hours," he told her as he stole a kiss.

"Oh, I think we can do plenty," she replied with a smile against his lips, feeling at ease for the first time in a long time.

So it wasn't one of her romance novels, she thought as they walked back into Company and he locked the door, but it was better. It might be more complicated, but she had a strong suspicion that it would all work out in the end. After all, she was due a happily ever after, wasn't she?