Author's note: Hello! I know it has been a while but I am currently on semester break and I have this idea in mind hahaha. The whole idea originally came from shinigami cups I recently rewatched on youtube. They are just sooo funny. This story is also a dedication to my favorite character ever, Rukia Kuchiki!
Anyway, enjoy! I hope you like it :D
Disclaimer: Tite Kubo, of course. And Chuck Palahniuk for the tiny Fight Club reference :D
Fan Club
"Do I really need to join these clubs?" Ichigo asked.
Rukia nodded. "It is an obligatory for shinigami to join at least one club of their own interest. Some of us take more than one, though."
"What for?" Ichigo asked again, clearly still uninterested.
"Joining a club is actually a good thing, Ichigo." Rukia answered matter of factly. "We can meet people with mutual interests and explore our hobbies."
"Right." Ichigo scoffed.
Despite Ichigo's blatant refusal, the raven haired shinigami kept on explaining. "But if you aren't satisfied with the available clubs, you can create new group by submitting written proposal to Yamamoto-soutaichou."
Ichigo raised an eyebrow, "And you are in...?"
Rukia genuinely looked proud when she answered, "Well, I am actually the president of Animal Rescue Club. Our focus is mainly the endangered rabbits."
"Oh, right..." Ichigo kept nodding his head slowly.
Ichigo knew he already could smell stupid the moment the old man, Yamamoto Genryuusai, made a new policy to allow substitute shinigami participate in organizations in Seireitei. He didn't need to join those organizations. The organization that he knew was either lame with stupid sun glasses (Shinigami Men's Association) or manipulative (Shinigami Women's Association) or as stupid as this one he just heard of.
Rabbits are NOT even listed as endangered animal.
"What else?" Ichigo asked.
As much as he loved the way Rukia's eyes lit up while explaining things to him, her answer made Ichigo regret encouraging her to explain this stupid club thing further.
"I am also the vice president of The Drawing Club."
Knowing from whom Rukia learned her drawing skills, Ichigo decided to never ask who the president was.
"And a member of Ikebana club."
Ichigo would never admit that, but he found it quite adorable.
"Tea Ceremony Club."
He had heard about that one. Renji attended the club once to impress Byakuya but apparently the idiot sucked at stuff like that.
"Calligraphy Club."
Byakuya was the president of that one.
"And of course,The Shinigami Women's Association."
Six clubs, huh.
Ichigo never knew she was this active.
After a long explanation, some physical abuse, and some puppy eyes trick that never failed to draw Ichigo's under her spell, Rukia finally convinced Ichigo to, at least, take a look of the available clubs.
"Just consider it," she said before leaving.
Apparently, Rukia had a meeting with Ukitake-taichou, so, after lending Ichigo her laptop, the orange haired shinigami was left alone in one of the rooms in Kuchiki mansion.
Thanks to the 12th division, this whole club registration thing was actually made easy. The only thing Ichigo had to do was open the link Rukia had given him earlier. It was a website consisted of all clubs in Seireitei, complete with their profile (club names, history, president and vice president), logo, brief explanation of the clubs' vision and mission. Some clubs even diligently uploaded photos of their past and recent activities.
"They actually take this thing seriously." Ichigo mused.
"To join the club, ones simply just need to fill the registration online form and proceed to be interviewed by the president of the club the following day." Ichigo read out loud.
He kept on scrolling the page endlessly.
Nothing really interested him.
"Science Club, Kurotsuchi Mayuri." Ichigo read.
Scroll.
"Fight Club."
Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Well, this one seems-" he stopped mid line after seeing Kenpachi's name as the club president.
Scroll.
"Tattoo Club."
That one had to be Renji.
Scroll.
"Preserving Koi Club."
Byakuya really did get creative sometimes.
Scroll.
"Ice Skating with Hyourinmaru Club."
Scroll.
"Drinking Club."
Something that was headed by Ikkaku and Rangiku-san could never be good.
Scroll.
It turned out there were so many clubs in Seireitei. Some focused on hobbies e.g. Unohana-taichou's Ikebana Club. Some focused on animal and nature e.g. Byakuya's Preserving Koi Club. Some focused on random uncategorized stuffs e.g. Ikkaku's Drinking Club.
Some clubs focused as dedication to people, or basically, fan clubs, like...
...Kuchiki Rukia Fan Club?
Ichigo frowned.
Rukia never mentioned about this to him.
And why did his chest feel heavy all of sudden?
He clicked on the group description.
Community Fan Club for Kuchiki Rukia fans to share, discover content and connect with other fans of Kuchiki Rukia.
It had almost two thousands members. Ichigo was impressed. Well, this one was big compared to other clubs (and he had scrolled so many).
2,023 members, exactly, who were mostly...
...men.
What the hell.
Ichigo took a deep breath to calm his suddenly raging reiatsu.
So, apparently Rukia had her big share of fan boys.
Big deal.
It wasn't like Ichigo was surprised.
He knew he had never been the only one who fell for her charms.
Even in the living world, Rukia was actually quite popular. She got Keigo, Kon, his dad, and those many guys back in high school. Even that one time Chad actually admitted he thought Rukia was pretty. And that was coming from Chad, the quietest person gracing the earth.
But still, wasn't 2,023 members and 567 pending members count going too far?
That was like freaking three-fourths of the entire male population in Seireitei!
Why did these random guys like her so much, anyway?
They didn't even know her personally.
Ichigo was a different case though. He knew Rukia almost better than anyone else and she could read him like an open book. She was the one who changed his fate by giving him the power he wanted most. She was the ray of light in his life. She was the one who made the rain stop.
He had actual reasons to like her.
But, these 2,000 thousands something people? Why did they like her so much?
Ichigo had the entire day to read the comments section to find out.
536 out of 11,657 comments posted by the fanboys said they loved her simply because she was their precious Kuchiki-hime.
2,634 out of 11,657 comments posted by the fanboys said they loved her because she was strong, smart, and could take care of herself.
"True." he nodded.
3,778 out of 11,657 comments posted by the fanboys said they loved her because she was beautiful.
Ichigo had always thought Rukia was beautiful. That had always been the concept he had grasped since the very first time he knew her.
He never told her that. Not like Kon who shamefully kept saying "Beautiful Nee-san!" whenever he met her.
That mod soul was a creep after all.
He never said that to anyone, either, not like certain someone with red hair who stated, in a subtext way, that he was a big fan when he fought him to rescue Rukia years ago.
She wasn't breathtakingly beautiful like his mom with long, beautiful gold hair, but Ichigo always loved her shoulder-length, black, silk hair.
He sometimes wondered how her hair contrasted his. He didn't know why he suddenly loved the idea of orange combined with black.
And her hair was just so smooth (sometimes he lingered his hand a little bit more than necessary when he ruffled her hair).
One day, out of the blue, he asked, "what shampoo are you using?"
Rukia was reading magazine on his bedroom floor. "A shampoo made by Kuchiki clan, why?" She replied nonchalantly.
Ichigo was puzzled. "Your clan makes shampoo?"
Rukia flipped another page and nodded, "It is made of rosemary, grape seed, chamomile, burdock and nettle."
"Your clan makes shampoo."
Rukia nodded again, still busy reading whatever it was her crappy magazine offered. "They sell pretty well in Seireitei-especially among noble families."
Imagining the head of the Kuchiki clan, Kuchiki Byakuya, running hair products business sounded... off in Ichigo's mind.
"Right, so... Byakuya is using that shampoo, too?" He continued.
Rukia nodded again, "and the conditioner."
"And the moisturizing oil." She added.
"And also the thickening spray."
She answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Ichigo regretted he ever asked.
He couldn't help but wonder, though, were the Kuchiki selling skincare products, too?
Don't blame him for wondering. Rukia's had fair (too fair for someone whose work required sword) white skin, after all.
2,178 out of 11,657 comments posted by the fanboys said she had the most unique eyes.
Ichigo loved her eyes the most. They were large like doll's eyes and their color was somewhere along blue, indigo, and violet. He could never really tell.
His admiration for her eyes was quite hard to mask since he just couldn't stop holding his gaze on those orbs whenever he talked to her.
One day, Rukia was angry at him. "I could have handled that one!"
Ichigo was looking directly into her eyes and her voice gradually faded as he was drowning in those giant orbs.
"Hmm?" was all he reply.
"Stop being so overprotective, Ichigo." she added.
Hidden in the deepest part of his mind, he decided they were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.
"Hmm?"
He just couldn't look away.
"I am a shinigami, you dummy."
Ichigo decided they were blue.
"Hmm, and?"
No, they were purple.
"And fighting hollows has always been my job, so-are you even listening to me?"
Sometimes, Ichigo thought, Rukia was aware of his lingering gaze, since this time, she stopped talking about how angry she was at his over-protectiveness after she realized Ichigo wasn't even listening to her at all.
She put her hand on his cheek and made him look away.
"Don't be such a flirt, Ichigo."
Caught red handed, Ichigo only shrugged. "Can't blame a guy for trying."
5,441 out of 11,657 comments of the fanboys said Rukia was too cute.
Ichigo remembered what Yoruichi-san once said in an interview for Shinigami Magz vol.139: Kurosaki Ichigo Special Edition.
"He is far more innocent than he looks." the purple haired woman said. "Ichigo is basically still a kid, you know. Shy little kid. Give him naked woman right in front of his eyes and that boy still won't know where to look."
When the magazine was out, Rangiku found it so cute that she pretended to flash him whenever she had the chance.
It was not like he didn't know where to look.
Or that he was afraid of women.
He believed he was just not that type of guy.
Besides, women with breasts big enough to suffocate small children weren't exactly his type. That was why when Urahara convinced the innocent Orihime to wear such clothes, Ichigo only blushed and said the truth.
She wasn't supposed to show too much.
After Rukia found out about that Yoruichi article, she laughed.
"Now I do know why you let me sleep in your closet, Ichigo."
"Shut up, Rukia." Ichigo replied, his cheeks warm.
He was glad Rukia never found out about those sleepless nights he was having when he was 15.
What kind of healthy teenage boy that didn't get ideas when there was an attractive girl sleeping in his closet?
Not his fault, really.
After seeing the article, Renji merely asked. "So, Ichigo, what kind of women do you like?"
They were hanging out at the Sixth Division Headquarters. Well, Renji was doing his job (cough, reading the magazine, cough) and Ichigo had nowhere to go, so he visited the fukutaichou to kill time.
"Or men, whoever you are comfortable with."
Ichigo only glared at the red head. The orange haired shinigami was busy eating almost all of Seaweed Ambassador-shaped candies in Renji's office.
God, this thing tasted awesome. How much had he eaten? 10? 17? 19? He lost count.
"I personally prefer petite women to buxom ladies." Renji started again in low volume just in case his taichou next door could hear him. "I think they are cuter."
Ichigo, his mouth full of Ambassador Seaweed shaped candies, was about to 'reply no one asked for your opinion, moron'.
Strangely, it never came out and he found himself nod in agreement instead.
"You think so, too?" Renji asked, kind of surprised of his friend's response. It wasn't everyday the two most hot headed shinigami agreed on something.
Seeing Ichigo still couldn't stop eating that horribly shaped snacks his taichou invented, Renji started again, "Ichigo, a girl like... Rukia then?"
Hearing Renji's words, Ichigo's mind darted to the certain petite female that had frequently been occupying his mind more often than necessary.
Ichigo always thought Rukia was cute without even trying. She was just so small. Everything about her was. Her face was small and so was her nose. Whenever she was in her gigai and wore dress, Ichigo couldn't help but thinking that she looked like a tiny modern day doll.
It wasn't only her appearance. Ichigo also found some things about her cute (not talking about her evil kicks here).
She was clueless about a lot of things-like the juice box.
She also had a weird Chappy obsession.
And when he thought she couldn't get any cuter, she just had to draw rabbits to explain things.
Ichigo usually didn't like cute things but sometimes,
"-Rukia makes me want to pinch her cheeks and keep her in my pocket."
O. What.
Did he just hear himself say that out loud?
Did he just admit out loud to freaking Renji that he freaking wanted to keep Rukia in his freaking pocket?
Judging from Renji's amused, evil grin, and how Ichigo felt his turned the same color as the red baboon's hair, the orange haired shinigami was sure that he, indeed, had admitted it out loud.
Renji snickered like an evil.
"Ever the romantic, are ya, Ichigo?"
Ichigo just knew the moment Renji started snickering, his well-built image had been thrown in the dumpster.
The orange haired substitute shinigami tried to wrap it up. Awkwardly pointing at the innocent Seaweed Ambassador-shaped candies, he asked, "O-oi, Renji, did Byakuya put drugs in these stuffs?"
There had to be something in those candies that made Kurosaki Ichigo high enough to say something like that.
There had to be. Amphetamine, maybe. Or marijuana...
Renji's grin only grew wider and wider and Ichigo just wanted to getsuga tensho this bastard's ass.
"Shut up, Renji." Ichigo said through gritted teeth.
Oh, Renji was so having a great time laughing on the floor.
...Until Byakuya literally kidou-ed him to shut his big mouth, that's it.
1,941 out of 11,657 comments posted by the fanboys said she had the most beautiful zanpakutou in Soul Society. And amazing bankai.
The first time Ichigo saw Rukia's shikai, he was dumbfounded.
It was just, so white. So pure.
So like her.
The moment they fought with Sode no Shirayuki, Ichigo finally saw the true form of her zanpakutou.
Normally, Ichigo was indifferent to women. He was not that kind of guy who admired women and shouted it out loud easily like Kon.
Kon was cheap, after all.
It was strange, though. With Rukia, and basically everything about her, Ichigo got so creative in praising her in his mind.
Ichigo thought Rukia's zanpakutou was like a goddess (pretty sure Kon had been rubbing off on him) and that was an understatement.
His first impression of the lady actually could be 'wow.' (meaning he really was rendered speechless) if only she wasn't attacking him and Rukia like a lunatic.
Everything about Sode no Shirayuki was white. She was cold but radiated beauty and elegance at the same time.
She matched Rukia perfectly.
The second time Ichigo met Sode no Shirayuki's true form, Rukia told him, "be careful. She isn't weak."
Like he didn't know that already.
So, he replied. "I know. She is your zanpakutou, after all."
Sode no Shirayuki kept provoking him about being unable to attack her back because he just didn't want to attack Kuchiki Rukia's zanpakutou.
Hichigo, the hollow inside him, had different opinion regarding that matter.
He simply said, "you really are a fucking fanboy of that ice princess bitch."
Remembering this, Ichigo shamefully wondered if he should submit a written proposal for Sode no Shirayuki Fan Club.
That lady was just so cool, he thought.
After skimming through thousand of comments, the only words coming out of Ichigo's mouth were, "You guys are awesome."
He decided this club actually made sense. They weren't that bad. In fact, he completely agreed on almost everything the fan boys wrote on here. They had so many things in common and Ichigo felt like he could relate to these guys.
"I only need to join at least one club, right?" He said to no one in particular.
Without further hesitation, Ichigo clicked the 'join' button.
After he was done with his registration form, being the consummate pending member he was, Ichigo diligently read all of the club's events and programs. He also browsed the gallery and saved some good pictures. He even replied and left comment on the comment sections.
He was actually enjoying this thing.
"Oh, right." the orange haired shinigami suddenly remembered something.
He would have to be interviewed by the club's president tomorrow.
"Who is the president of this thing, anyway?"
...
...
...
...
...
Holy. Crap.
Kuchiki Byakuya's name was written in bold letters.
Author's note: There! Hahaha is it too random and weird? I tried hard to make the them stay in characters I hope it turns out okay. Please tell me what you think! And if you guys like it please tell me, i will consider making the continuation of this. i have some funny omake in mind. So, do you think i should continue this or not? :D
Kuchiki Rukia Fan Club
Group description: Community Fan Club for Kuchiki Rukia fans to share, discover content and connect with other fans of Kuchiki Rukia.
President: Kuchiki Byakuya.
Vice president: Abarai Renji.
Active members: 2,023 (4 mutuals; Yamada Hanatarou, Juushiro Ukitake, Kotsubaki Sentaro, Kuchiki Ginrei).
Pending members: 567 (1 mutual; Shiba Ganju).