Chapter One
Bella
It was almost Christmas and I wasn't looking forward to it at all, I never had but this year was going to be worst than most. Since I returned to Jacksonville to live with Renee and Phil I had recovered from my "illness" as she insisted on calling it and made a new life for myself, the new stronger and more forceful Bella Swan. I was determined to make an effort but my mother wasn't making it any easier. This year it had fallen to mum and Phil to arrange and host the baseball team Christmas party which we were holding at our place because it had a huge yard and of course unlike Forks the weather was pretty much guaranteed to play nice.
My mother did everything at break neck speed with the total conviction that it would all go wrong, which in fairness to her it usually did. For some reason my intelligent mother couldn't organise a fridge let alone a party or event. Which meant most of the organising was done by Phil and myself while Renee followed written instructions to pick up various things and make sure her party dress was back from the dry cleaners. She did, in a mad moment, offer to do some baking but that was quickly vetoed. Last time Renee was let loose in the kitchen we had a visit from the local fire fighters after the contents of the oven complete with plastic trays melted on the elements and started a blaze. We went out to eat that day and it was two months before the house lost that strange and unpleasant odour of baking plastic!
The baseball team were also hosting a Christmas dinner for some of the less fortunate residents and homeless along with various other bodies in Jacksonville and with my boyfriend Tim I had volunteered to help out. Each different body involved drew an area of the city from a drum, that would be their clientèle for the day and we drew the poorest and most neglected area so there would be plenty of takers for the food and entertainment we were providing. A list was circulated to the welfare services and schools so they could nominate families to receive an invitation and flyers were handed out to the homeless inviting them to come along for a hot meal and a day in the warmth and shelter of a building. Tim and I went round the various malls and food stores to collect donations for the children's presents and food and households collected up unwanted garments so we could offer the homeless a clean set of clothes to start the new year.
Everyone had been very generous and I was looking forward to the event although Renee was, as usual, finding excuses not to get too involved. For some reason she always shied away from those less fortunate than herself which was a good part of the population. She tried to curb my enthusiasm with tales of the degenerates I would see coming to get new clothes and hot food but I largely ignored her.
"Just stay close to Tim Bella, some of the men are violent."
I nodded rolling my eyes but her message was getting through to Tim and two week before Christmas he took me to one side and told me he didn't want me to be involved any longer.
"Why?"
"Didn't you hear about the bodies they've been finding down town? Just the area we'll be Christmas day?"
"Yes, but the police said they got the guy who did that."
"No Bella, they said they thought they might have the man responsible, it's not the same thing. You are a well bred young lady and I don't want my future wife exposed to those type of people."
"Your what?"
"Well you know I love you and as soon as you finish college I thought we'd get married. Besides does it matter? I just don't want you there."
"Do I have a say in the matter?"
"Of course you do"
"Thank you then I …...".
He cut me off,
"But I've told Reg the organiser and he agrees so once the baking is done in the school kitchens, it was good of them to offer the facilities, you can come straight home. Spend Christmas day with your mother. That way you'll be safe and she wont be on her own."
I was furious at being manipulated, how dare he go behind my back and change things without even a thought for what I might think? He must have seen something in my face because he tried to back pedal swiftly.
"Of course I know you wanted to help but most of the guys have asked their wives and girlfriends to stay away from the place itself."
"Asked?"
"Well yes, oh I see. Look I'm sorry, I just assumed you would do the same."
"You know something Tim. If there's something guaranteed to get my blood boiling its being told what to do. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I decide where I go and what I do, not you. You aren't my father, husband or even my older brother, so back off."
"Bella really, don't you think maybe you are over reacting just a little. It's not as if I forbade you."
"Just as well really, that would have been even more dangerous for you. Tim, I don't talk about my past but lets just say I don't respond well to being bullied."
"Well I'd hardly call it bullying, I was only concerned for your safety."
I was so angry now I was seething, he sounded just like that arrogant prick Edward Cullen. He always thought he knew better than me, until that is he just left.
Renee
When Bella came storming into the house I wondered what had happened, she was so easy going most of the time, as long as the Cullens weren't mentioned and there was no way Tim would have brought up that subject, he didn't know anything about them. He followed her in looking equal parts confused and annoyed.
"Everything OK Tim?"
"No, not really. I think I might have upset Bella".
"It looked that way when she came through, what did you say?"
When he explained to me I understood, nothing was more likely to light Bella's touch-paper than being told what to do. Edward had tried that one and it hadn't gone down well then either.
"Perhaps you should back off a little. I'll speak to her later when she's calmed down. Would you like a cold drink?"
He shook his head looking towards Bella's room before speaking,
"Thank you but no. I think it might be better if I left. Tell Bella I'll pick her up in the morning so we can collect the last few things in town."
"I will and don't worry, she'll cool off."
I waited until he had gone and we were alone, Phil was at practise, then went and knocked on Bella's door.
"Go away Tim."
"Its your mother, Tim's gone. I think he got the message he'd upset you. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
I went in anyway to see her sitting in the window staring across the yard towards the ocean in the far distance.
"Bella Tim didn't mean anything by it, he just cares about you."
"So did Edward until he left."
"You can't measure everyone against Edward Cullen Bella. Tim loves you."
"So did Edward."
"He just wants you to be safe that's all"
"Edward's argument too."
"Are you going to forgive Tim? He's very hurt, he doesn't understand. Why don't you explain to..."
"NO. I am not discussing Forks or the Cullens with anyone. I'm very tired and I want to go to bed."
"OK. You'll feel better in the morning I'm sure."
"Yeah sure"
Well I'd tried but if he started telling Bella what to do Tim was on the road to nowhere with her.
Bella
I didn't say anything else to Renee, it would be a waste of breath but I was determined not to spend Christmas day how Tim thought I should, with my mother. I knew enough about that particular torture to avoid it like the plague. Renee never had any fun at Christmas when she was growing up, her father was absent and her mother was very bitter so they did nothing special. As with every thing else Renee overcompensated. Our house was like Santa's grotto with the mass of decorations and Christmas songs playing at top volume. The air was filled with the scents of the season, cinnamon, nutmeg, mulled wine, you name it we had the scent of it. We watched all the old Christmas movies, I knew Its a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol off by heart, in the latter case every version from Alistair Simms to Attenborough! We had an open house with an endless supply of mince pies, cinnamon cookies, and every finger food known to man. The freezer lid could hardly be shut for the next month until the left overs were slowly used up. No, I would find some other way to spend the day. I might even make an appearance at the dinner. That would show Tim what I thought of his orders!