Author's Note – I own nothing of this but the people in which you don't recognize from the show. These people are from my own imagination.

If the Hell's Reaper MC exists then I've got nothing to do with it all.

This is also my first SOA story so please give me a chance and let me know what you think

I can see your eyes staring into mine

But it's a battlefield, and I'm on the other side

You can throw your words sharper than a knife

And leave me cold in another house on fire

I lay low, lay low

And watch the bridges burn

I lay low, lay low

What more could I have done

Now you only bring me black roses

And they crumble into dust when they're held

Now you only bring me black roses

Under your spell

Black Roses – Clare Bowen

There comes a time in someone's life, be them a saint or a sinner, where the life they lead comes at a price. The choices they make, the masks they were, the secrets they bury, become too much for one person to handle and those they surround themselves with begin paying the damages. And that someone has to sit and watch as it happens, try and clean up the mess but always ends up making more of it.

Once they hit rock bottom they find themselves at a crossroads, one path leading them forward head long into the damage in hopes of mending it. The two side roads leading them in two different paths that lead them far away from the shit they've caused and the people they love.

And as I sit here leant against the seat of my Harley I find myself in the same predicament.

One on hand I'm Nicole Telford the daughter of Filip 'Chibs' Telford a member of the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club. On the same hand I am also the supposed to be 'old lady' of one of the SOA members 'Happy'. The two of us having fought through fire, a shit ton of bullets and even MC feuding to be together.

But on the other hand I am Chaos, a member of the Hells' Reaper MC, the only MC in the world that I know of that allow females to not only be Old Lady's but also fully patched members. I've killed for my club, I've stole, I've done shit that should land me a permanent place in prison until I'm old and can't remember shit yet I'm not.

How I came to find myself in the middle of nowhere with nothing but dust and wide open roads staring straight at me daring me to choose a path is a very long story. One filled with rage, death, revenge, love, hate, family and choices.

I'd love nothing more than to ride, ride till I no longer know where I am, ride till there's nothing holding me back no more, my mind a blank canvas waiting for me to choose my next move. But I can't do that, the damage I'm leaving behind too great, the burn of the hate so strong I can still feel it deep into my bones.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair and down my face stopping as I look at my hands, still bandaged from my last confrontation with my 'family'. The tears begin to fall as I remember their faces, my dad looking at me as though he no longer knew who I was, the man I love just staring at me with no emotion behind his eyes. The people I called family looking at me as though they don't see me anymore.

I shake my head and stand up throwing my leg over my bike, I reach for my helmet and place it onto my head and as I start my bike I make my choice.

The choice to run, run and never look back.

I need this but more importantly my unborn child needs this. It needs a life far far away from the violence.

But enough about my present, as I ride the road taking me far away let me take you back. Back to when this shit storm started and let me show you the choices I made that led me to this path. Let me show you how I lost everyone I loved.

Join me?