A/N: Thank y'all so much for your reviews and/or favorites for 'Dream a Dream!' They really made my week, especially since this week really, really sucked. Anyway, that scene with Rachel and Shelby in 'Theatricality' (sweet as it was) made me bawl so hard and left me really wishing it had ended differently, so I came up with this (and a few other mother-daughter fics called the 'Funny Girl' series) as catharsis, and I wanted to get it posted before I head to work today. As always, please let me know what you think- it would really make another insane week fantastic!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee... if I did, Idina Menzel would be a series regular by now.
Time After Time
Six months.
Six months had passed since Shelby had told her daughter that they could be grateful for one another from afar. Six months, in which Vocal Adrenaline had taken Regionals (with New Directions in a close second), and they'd begun preparing for Nationals.
And for six months, she felt the emptiness in every fiber of her being.
Sure, she'd done the right thing. She loved her little girl, more than anything. And more than anything, she'd wanted their relationship to work out. But Will had been right. Rachel was fragile, and she couldn't handle an overworked mother who happened to coach her arch-nemesis combined with a pair of fathers who had never completely been honest with her. She needed a mother's love, but Shelby hadn't been as prepared as she'd thought for a daughter. And she suspected Rachel wasn't as prepared as she'd thought for a mother. Above all else, Shelby wanted her daughter to be happy.
And again, she let her go.
For six months, that song they'd sung together in that empty auditorium circled around and around her head. The sound of how perfectly their voices blended together echoed in her dreams at night and followed her through the halls of Carmel High during the day. That look in Rachel's dark eyes drove her insane.
Time really was a funny thing. She'd had sixteen years to think about her little girl, who she was, what she was doing, and when she'd found her, she'd balked. But now… now, after so much time… she didn't know. She really didn't know.
So when she found herself at the Berry's front door, hand poised to knock, she honestly had no idea how she'd gotten there. Vaguely she remembered being at rehearsal, and somewhere in the back of her mind she recalled calling a five-minute break. Between that and when she screeched to a halt outside the Berry's house on Elm Street, she had no clue what had happened.
But she was there now.
Quietly she rapped on the door twice. No answer. She knocked again, this time a little louder. Still no answer.
She glanced at her watch. It was after four-thirty in the afternoon, so surely Rachel was home now that glee club had drawn to an end.
Frowning, she tried the doorknob on impulse. Sure enough, it turned quickly, and the door silently swung open.
"Hello?" she called, stepping across the threshold into the spacious living room. "Anyone there?"
When no one answered, she slowly made her way up the stairs. The door at the end of the hall was wide open, and Shelby caught a glimpse of pink and gold on the walls. She smiled. That was most definitely Rachel's room.
Quietly she tiptoed into the empty room. An elliptical machine sat in one corner, across from the big four-poster bed with its bright pink duvet. Gold stars and trophies dotted the room, arranged very carefully on her bookshelves and desk. Banners from the competitions she'd won covered the pink walls.
God, Rachel really was just like her.
Suddenly the door on the other side of the room opened, and Rachel stepped out of her bathroom, drawing a brush through her dark locks. Her eyes widened when she spotted the other woman. "Shelby?"
"You know, you really should start locking your door when your dads aren't here."
Rachel's lips drew into a tight smile. "I'll remember that."
A heavy silence settled over the room. Rachel walked over to her bed and sat on the end of it. Shelby's heart broke when Rachel folded her hands on her lap, staring at the nails. It was exactly what she did when she was uncomfortable.
When the teenager finally spoke, her voice sounded soft and uncertain. "What are you doing here?"
The corner of Shelby's mouth tipped up. "I'm not exactly sure myself. I haven't seen you since Regionals."
"I realized after I left that I neglected to tell how well Vocal Adrenaline did. Even if Jesse didn't quite manage to hit that high note at the end of 'More Than a Feeling.' And I wouldn't have exactly picked 'The Boxer' as my ballad, but it seemed to work well enough."
This time, Shelby's smile was genuine. "Thank you. You guys were really, really good too. Especially you. You nailed 'Defying Gravity.' Almost as good as the original."
"Thank you. I guess I connected with it. I've known what I wanted to be since I was four. And no one will stop me from being that."
Shelby's smile grew. "Funny. A long, long time ago, I used to say the same thing."
At that, Rachel's gaze dropped to her lap again. "Why exactly are you here? After six months, you finally decide to talk to me? Or is this just going to be déjà vu for last time?"
Shelby sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair. "I deserve that, Rachel. I can't… I can't even tell you how sorry I am for last time." She paused for a moment, catching Rachel's eyes again, the dark orbs so full of pain. And yet there was just a glimmer of hope in them.
"You know," Shelby continued, taking a step closer to her daughter. "Time's kind of a funny thing."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. It makes you think about things, how you would've done things differently. How you would've made different choices for the people you care about."
At that, Rachel's gaze lifted. "You mean, you wouldn't have given me up."
"I didn't say that." At Rachel's crestfallen look, Shelby added hastily, "You had a great life with your dads. They love you, more than anything. I had so many dreams I wanted to chase, so many things I wanted to do, and I'd promised your dads a beautiful and talented little girl. They could provide for you everything that I couldn't. But…when it all came down to it, the only thing I had missing was you."
Rachel glanced at her, stunned. Following a sudden impulse, Shelby strode across the room and knelt down in front of Rachel. Looking in her eyes, she whispered, "After all that time, I never, ever stopped loving you. You have to believe me when I say that."
A single tear glistened at the corner of the girl's eye, pausing there for just a second before slowly trekking down her cheek. "I do," she murmured.
Shelby smiled and blinked back her own tears. Hesitantly, she reached out, tenderly touching Rachel's cheek, her smile widening when her daughter leaned into her touch. All this time, this was what she'd been missing.
Her hand trailed down Rachel's cheek to her chin, gently lifting it so that Rachel was looking into her eyes. "I have a proposition for you." Rachel looked expectantly at her. "Since neither one of us are quite ready for this whole mother-daughter thing, let's get to know one another. As friends. You don't have to call me 'mom,' and I'll let your dads take care of the parenting. We'll just be friends."
Rachel considered it for a moment, tapping her finger against her chin. "It sounds like a reasonable, well-considered proposal to me. Although, I must warn you, I'm admittedly high-maintenance and sometimes rather… high-strung."
Her mother grinned, the corners of her eyes crinkling slightly. "Genetics really is a marvelous thing."
At that, Rachel smiled the first genuine smile she'd given all afternoon. "Can I hug you now?"
Shelby brushed a hand across Rachel's face just before she nodded. "Any time, sweetie."
And as she wrapped her arms around her daughter, Shelby couldn't help but think that after all this time, this finally felt right.