Summary: Life, it's simple really, just a series of hours... Millions of minutes and seconds… Everyone has their own unique story. Each moment has the possibility of having a profound impact on how your life turns out. What if you missed the significance of one single event the first time around and it altered your entire existence? If given the opportunity… Could you ever truly go back to the start? Lucas POV
Disclaimer: I don't own anything OTH related if I did the show would have gone a different direction… And since I'll be referencing the song throughout, I don't own the lyrics to The Scientist… That honor belongs to Coldplay. I do however own the story idea so happy reading.
The Scientist
"Good luck packing." Peyton calls to me as she heads for the door, "I would help you but" she rubs her heavily swollen abdomen. "I was told to take it easy, this pregnancy thing is a real breeze, can you believe in less than six weeks we're going to be parents?"
"No, I can't." I feel my face squint and a smirk form across my lips, "now get going, Haley is expecting you… She hates it when you're late." She nods before giving me a quick kiss, I close the door behind her with a sigh.
After a few minutes, I unfold a couple of cardboard boxes and place them on my bed… My childhood bed in my childhood bedroom. I turn to the closet and start absentmindedly placing random items into a box. I should probably go through all of this stuff at some point, but what's the purpose of doing it right now? It's all just going in the garage, so there will be room for some of Peyton's belongings when she officially moves in after the wedding, mainly her extensive record collection. I wanted to use this room for Sawyer's nursery, but Peyton said it was too far away from the master bedroom and having the door to the outside made her nervous. I wanted to tell her we weren't the Lindbergh's, no one is going to kidnap our baby, but getting her to see reason right now is futile. I pile old trophies, school awards and the first book I ever wrote into another box. It was a ten page book I wrote in the third grade for a school assignment, my mom had found it amongst Keith's most prized possessions after he was shot in cold blood by his own brother. I do what I can to shake off the horrible memory and move on to something else.
A half an hour later I stack several boxes up and head for the garage. I place all of the boxes on some open shelving Keith built for my mother at least two decades ago. I move several dust covered bins and suck in a dry breath at the grime covered box towards the back, it's labeled BPD & LES. I had almost forgotten I even put it out here, I reach for it and instinctively, hesitation washes over me and I pull my hand back. I haven't looked through it in years, examining the contents now will only make me wonder of the other life I could have lived with Veronica instead of Betty. I shrug, "so today I feel like being an emotional cutter, I was already reminiscing about Keith, why not throw my pretty girl in for good measure?" I say aloud as I take the shabby box off the shelf.
I walk over to Keith's old work bench, covered in butcher block from the cafe's kitchen and pull the misshapen lid from the warped box. I smile when the first thing I pull out is Brooke's red lace bra, she was wearing this the first night we officially met…
"Ummm I think you have the wrong car," I gawk at the naked girl making herself comfortable in my back seat.
She smirks, "No I'm in the right place, I just had to get out of this uniform." She clasps a red lace bra over her exposed breasts, "So I'm Brooke Davis. But you probably knew that already. Your last shot was awesome," Brooke leans in close and puts her arms around my neck, "it felt good didn't it?"
Wow that was bizarre, I open my eyes and I could practically smell the lilac scented perfume Brooke wore in high school. I pull out a few more items and I can't help but continue to smile as I wander further down the rabbit hole of what if. I rifle through concert ticket stubs, mix tapes a Travis CD and tons of pictures. "It was so much easier with Brooke when she wasn't trying to be someone she wasn't," I say in an audible tone. I let my fingers merely graze the 82 letters, there is no way my heart could bare looking at them today, so I move on. I next pull out a copy of Albert Camus's book The Stranger. I feel my brow furrow, how did this get in here? I turn to the first eared page and what I read knocks the wind out of me… People that are meant to be together always find their way in the end… I love you Lucas Scott… I always will. It's Brooke's swirly cursive writing, I would recognize it anywhere. When did she write this? Why hadn't I ever seen it before now? Would it have made a difference?
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
I am not exactly sure what I am doing here, I tell myself as I stare at the bright red door urging me to knock on it. Peyton and I are having a baby, we are getting married on Saturday, yet here I am at this house, fixated on this door. I knew looking in that box was a bad idea, I shake my head in disbelief, Pandora's Box doesn't have anything on the magnet like force that is Brooke Penelope Davis. I do my best to shake off the uneasiness that is beginning to settle in my gut. I turn to go back the way I came when I see the porch light come on and I know I'm caught. I tell my legs to run, but knowing my luck the house's inhabitant has already seen me and running would simply confuse her and make her angry.
The front door opens, "Luke? What are you doing here? I think Peyton is with Haley." She wraps her arms around her small frame, "It's freezing out here, do you want to come inside?"
No! My head screams, but instead I nod. I really look at her for a second, she is smiling a dimpled smile and her hazel orbs are twinkling like they have since the first time we looked eyes in tenth grade English Literature. Her deep brunette tresses are secured at the nap of her neck in a messy bun. She is wearing a pair of eggplant skinny jeans and a black tank top, she looks just as effortless as ever. I follow her inside, "Is Julian still in Los Angeles?"
She closes the door behind us, "Yes. He's scouting a location for his next movie. Sorry about Ravens by the way, I know you were looking forward to making your book into a movie."
"It's alright," I fidget, "it was for the best. I think it was all too soon, but that isn't why I came by. I wanted to ask you about something."
"Lucas Scott the eternal optimist." She came back from the kitchen with two bottles of water. "I wish I had some of whatever kool-aid you have been drinking these days. Julian and I decided to put our relationship on hold until we know where his next movie is going to be filmed." She shrugs and sits down on the couch beside me. "So what's up? Is everything alright?"
I have to be pretend to be saddened by her revelation, but I'm not. Brooke deserves someone better than Julian Baker. He would never be content living a quiet life in Tree Hill, he's a big city type, there's nothing with that I suppose but it wasn't for Brooke. "I was packing up my old room and putting things in the garage and I found a few interesting things. I found a book with an inscription I have never seen before and I wanted to ask you about it and I found something that belonged to you." I wasn't entirely certain how to proceed but I can see that I have peeked her interest as she nods curiously, "and I thought you might like it back for sentimental value." I hand her the delicate red bra I had wrapped in a handkerchief.
Her cheeks reddened at the sight of her red lace bra, "Naked in the backseat? That's so high school…" she pauses and shakes her head. "I have nothing else to add it's just SO high school."
"I thought it would make you laugh, I didn't think you would get embarrassed. I'm sorry Brooke." I squint and rub my temples, I never intended to upset her, I honestly thought she would giggle and we would laugh about the old days for a few hours.
"Yes because being reminded of my slutty years as a cheerleader is just wonderful." She says with snark. "You said something about a book." She changes the subject, crosses her legs and turns back towards me.
I hand her the worn copy of The Stranger, "When did you write this?"
She bites her bottom lip, "I… ummmm." She lets out a deep sigh, "It was right after Peyton told me she still loved you I believe. You are a creature of habit Luke, I knew you would put me in a box." She blinks rapidly to avoid crying, I can see the pain creep across her face, "that book was something we shared I figured if you ever looked through the Brooke box you would see I still loved you and just maybe we could start over again."
"And what if I wanted to start over now?" I gulp.
She kinks her eyebrows at me, "Wait you're joking right? Peyton is pregnant with your child, you're getting married in four days. That ship has sailed Luke, we missed our chance."
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start
"You have reached Brooke Davis, leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." I sigh as I hang up the phone, she's avoiding me, I can feel it in my bones. She does have a point though I am clearly having some type of a breakdown, maybe this was just cold feet? I head to Clothes over Bros, she can't ignore me forever.
I open the door and head inside with the chime, "Brooke I know you're here I saw your car parked out front."
She comes sauntering in from the back, "l don't have anything to say to you Lucas. That's why I haven't returned any of your seven messages."
"I deserve that I do, but you can't blame me for thinking about it from time to time. You were the great love of my life Brooke, you don't ever really forget your first." I run my hands through my hair, "I'm sorry I upset you the other night."
She folds her arms across her chest and drums her nails against her exposed skin. "Well Lucas you weren't my first… hell you weren't even my first Scott brother."
"I deserved that," I continue, doing everything I can not to think about the sex tape she made with Nathan a lifetime ago. "But can you honestly tell me you don't think about me ever?"
"No, I can't." She laughs, "I think about what could have been whenever I'm feeling terribly sad or lonely. We would live in Tree Hill obviously in your mother's house like you always dreamed, even though I am partial to houses of a greater size, it's home and that would have been enough for me. We would keep a loft in Manhattan for Clothes over Bros board meetings and visits with your editors because you know how I feel about extended hotel stays." I laugh before she speaks again, "I always envisioned having three children; Henry, Davis and Violet. The boys would look like you and our daughter would look just like me. We would live for each other, grow old together, enjoy our family and die peacefully in our sleep." Her face falls, "but that isn't the life fate had in store for us… Maybe you'll be my great lasting love in the next life, in this one you belong to my best friend." Her last few words are almost a whisper, she wipes her face and turns to the back room, "I have a conference call with Bloomingdale's in fifteen minutes, are we done now?"
I am not sure why I thought she would react differently to me having a life crisis but now I feel like a complete asshole. "I'm sorry Brooke, I'll see you Friday night at the rehearsal dinner." I hurry out the door before she has a chance to say anything else.
A quick twenty minute walk later and I am home, I head right to the garage. I open the box and pull out a random memory, when I open my eyes I see a copy of a photograph from Nathan and Haley's wedding. Brooke looked breathtaking that day in her beautiful red satin dress. The day certainly didn't go the way I had envisioned…
"Why does it feel like you are always just waiting to push me away?" I say in a hushed tone to avoid drawing attention to yet another fight Brooke and I were having.
She scoffs, "unbelievable. You kiss Peyton again, you hide it from me again and I'm pushing you away?"
"I love you Brooke," I huff, "how else can I say it so that you'll believe me?"
Brooke's eyes welled up with tears, "I'm not pushing you away Lucas, I have been holding on for dear life. But it's pointless because what I need is for you to need me back. You should have told me about the kiss and you didn't call once when you were gone and you haven't ever let me all the way in." She pounds her balled fists into my chest and sucked in a deep breath, "I need to go, it's time for my toast and I have to remind myself that it's supposed to be about love."
The sad part was that I loved her then, I loved her with everything I had… I just never felt like it was enough to make her happy.
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
I pull out a tattered copy of Shakespeare's Book of Sonnets and turn to Sonnet 116 and read the highlighted passage; Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. Love alters not with time's brief hours and weeks, but bears it out, even to the edge of doom.
I feel my heart pounding out of my chest, "Jesus Christ." My palms are sweating and I feel like I might faint. Brooke is the one, this isn't cold feet, how have I not seen it until now. It doesn't really matter now does it? Peyton and I are having a baby, we are getting married in less than 72 hours and Brooke would never consent to being mine again. Unless Brooke feels the same way about me, I must find out if she loves me enough to potentially destroy Peyton's life.
I head back into the house and find Peyton in the nursery holding a stuffed purple monkey… Angie's stuffed purple monkey.
"Did you just get home?" She smiles, "I'm thinking about jungle themed crib bedding. I want to design the entire nursery around this monkey. It's terribly precious, was it yours when you were a boy? Or was it Lily's." She looks at the monkey, "I hope it was Lily's it looks far too girly to have been yours."
"You got my message," she cries into my chest.
I pull her in tighter, "I got your message."
"I told you I was fine, you didn't need to come," she sobs louder.
I run my hands through her hair, "I know."
"She's gone Lucas," she stutters.
"I know Brooke, I'm so sorry I know."
"You honestly don't know where that monkey came from?" I say, pulling myself from the memory so painful it feels like it happened just yesterday. "It was Angie's monkey."
"Oh," Peyton winced, "I must have forgotten. How did you get it then?"
"Brooke gave it to me after Angie was sent home to her family." I lean against the dresser, I cannot stop the next words from forming on my lips, "I was thinking… maybe we should hold off on the wedding until after the baby comes."
She stops rocking in the chair, "what's wrong?"
"Nothing I just feel like all of this is happening so fast, I don't want to make any mistakes." I stammer, "we haven't been back together very long Peyton. I just want to make sure this is truly what we both want."
"I have wanted this since I was fifteen years old." Peyton shrieks, "what changed for you?"
I scratch my head, "Why didn't you ever tell me that Brooke broke up with me because you told her you were in love with me?"
"What difference does that make now?" Peyton pants, "she walked away to let us be together."
"Brooke Davis… she's always saving us and putting everyone else's needs ahead of her own." I smirk, shaking my head, "I'm going out for a while. We can talk more about how we plan to effectively co-parent Sawyer when I get back."
"What about the wedding?" Peyton stands up, "did we just break up?" She reaches for my wrist, "But I am the Comet, you said it yourself. We can't really be over because I never told you something trivial when we first got together?"
"It wasn't trivial Peyton, it was an important detail that alluded me until this very moment." I sigh, I never intended to do this now, I wanted to wait until after Sawyer was born, "You were the comet Peyton... and I will always love you. But I am in love with someone else and it took me five years to figure it out." I hug her and kiss her forehead, what does it mean that she isn't crying right now I wonder? "Goodbye Peyton."
Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh, and I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
I pull the jeep into Brooke's driveway just as I see Brooke coming out of her front door and I know its now or never, "Brooke do you have a minute?"
"I can't do this right now Luke, I'm off to see Peyton. She called and sounded upset, she said you called off the wedding and broke up with her what has gotten into you huh?" She glares at me as she heads to her car. "Move the jeep Luke or I'm going to back into the damn thing."
I understood the hostility, to the outside eye I did appear to be having some sort of a breakdown, but I wasn't, this was clarity. "Can I ask you something before you tar and feather me?"
"What?" She says in an exasperated tone. "Make it quick."
I clear my throat, "If I told you we could have forever would you want to try with me?"
She stops instantly and drops her keys, "what on earth are you talking about broody?"
I grin at the use of my old pet name, "what if I told you I wanted to start over before it was too late? I ended things with Peyton because the foundation of our relationship was built on a lie. You lied to me when we broke up pretty girl and for years I've been searching for the answer. You ended our relationship to save Peyton. She's your best friend and you wanted her to be happy, but when do you get to be happy Brooke? When have you ever put yourself first?"
"You and Peyton have this amazing connection, you are practically the same person… how was I supposed to ever compete with that?" Brooke huffed, "I never expected you to end up together. I guess I thought you would be together for a little while and it would fizzle out organically. Then after you and Lindsey broke up you went back to Peyton." She bends over to pick up her keys, "so you made your choice Lucas and I lost. Now I'm not going to ask you again Lucas, move the bloody jeep."
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
The next six months have passed by in a hurry and honestly it's all been a blur, before there was time to let the dust settle over the wedding cancellation Sawyer Penelope Scott was born. She was perfect in every way and Peyton was a real trooper throughout her entire labor, we have even found a happy medium as far as co-parenting goes. When Sawyer is older we will have to figure out more permanent logistics, but for now we are both putting her needs before our own. Peyton finally forgave me for humiliating her and actually gave me her blessing to pursue a relationship with Brooke... Now I just needed to get Brooke on board with trying again. I swore to Peyton that we would never revisit the triangle again, it was something we needed to keep buried in the garage along with old yearbooks and mementos. So far Brooke has been avoiding me like the plague, but I know if I get her to agree to one date she will come around. So far though I was having no luck, I did have one final trick up my sleeve… lets hope she smiles and doesn't stab me…
I watch Brooke lock up Clothes over Bros and hurry quickly to the drivers side door. I squat down low so she can't see me and hold my breath. She puts the key in the ignition and I pop up behind her in the back seat.
"Lucas!" She hits me, "what are you doing in my car. I have pepper spray, I could have seriously blinded you. You don't hide in the back of a woman's car are you insane?!" She looks at me and stops yelling, "wait a minute why are you naked?"
"I know you think we have too much history to move forward so I thought I would try going backwards instead. Back… back… back all the way to the beginning of Brooke and Lucas." I put my hand on the passenger seat and give her a megawatt grin.
Brooke is trying her best to keep a straight face but she can't any longer and starts to laugh. "So this is some sort of a reenactment then?"
"Yes," I place my hands on her shoulders and apologize. "Hi... I'm Lucas Scott by the way." I pull my pants up over my boxer shorts and extend my hand to her, "but I'm certain you already knew that."
She nods, "nice to meet you Lucas, I'm Brooke Davis."
I push my shirt over my head and hop into the front seat, "so Brooke would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"
"I would love to." Brooke gives me a dimpled smile. "Here's to going back to the beginning."
"Thank you for letting me take you back to the start," I take her hand in mine and kiss it gently. Who knows if Brooke Davis is my forever, I will say one thing though… it's going to be a beautiful adventure while it lasts...
*~* The End *~*
So my loves I hope you enjoyed this little brucas one shot. I thought about turning it into a full length story but I think I will wait and see what the reviews look like and what you all would like to see... Until then I am finishing the edits for Thinking of You and the final two chapters should be posted by Friday. I am also working on a joint venture with my girl April called We Built This City posted under her user name simplyaprillynn. I am working on new chapters for my other outstanding non-brucas stories for anyone else interested in those. :)
So show me the love... You know what to do... Hit the button... And review, review, review!
Thanks again for reading!
Krystal