Shane is ever so distant. Sometimes when I look into those deep hazel eyes I don't even recognize him anymore – it's like he's gone and I'm left with this copy of him, only it's not him.
He doesn't smile that crooked smile I loved so much. Scratch that. He doesn't smile – period.
His eyes seem to be permanently rimmed in red and they lack that certain sheen.
His hair, his lustrous raven black mane is no more. He doesn't really bother about his appearance anymore. He doesn't straighten his hair – it's a surprise if it's even clean nowadays. He doesn't wear skinny jeans anymore. Oh how I loved those skinny jeans and the way they made his tight little ass look.
But what's most sad is his music. It could inspire people in a way you couldn't even imagine. It would inspire me. And it made him happy blissful. His guitars are dusty, and the grand piano in the living room is no longer in tune.
And his voice. His voice no longer has that familiar ring it used to have, even when he calls my name – Mitch – its like even I don't make him happy anymore, not even for a split second, and I cant help but wonder…
Would it be the same if he had chosen Tess? What if he's realized its her he wanted all along.
What if it's my fault?
Okay, so its now 3 in the morning, and I just wrote that. It took about 15 minutes, but I couldn't really think were I wanted it to go. I couldn't sleep and I've had this bunch of ideas stuck in my head for the last 3 days I've been stuck in bed.
I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I haven't had proper sleep in about 47 hours now and even if I have proof read I can't really think straight.