At Mitakihara Junior High School, a group of friends was talking amongst themselves during lunch break. A red-haired one says, "I had this really weird dream I was abducted by aliens last night."

A yellow-haired one named Tomoe Mami replied, "Sakura-san, you always have weird dreams, especially about us."

"Shut up!" Kyoko blushed. "But this one was really life-like. It was as though I really was kidnapped by aliens and then experimented on."

"Trust me, Kyoko-chan," said a pink-haired one. "It wasn't real. If it was, Sayaka-chan would have noticed. You 2 live right next door to each other, right?"

"Yes we do," Sayaka replied. "Madoka-chan, wanna stop by my house after school? You forgot a piece of homework due tomorrow."

"Oh shit! I forgot all about that! Thanks for reminding me, Sayaka-chan."

"Hey," a black-haired one said. "Did any of you guys happen to see my cellphone with me?"

"Nope," replied Mami. "Sorry, Akemi-san."

"Dammit," Homura replied. "I must of left it at home."

After school, Kyoko tried to sleep, but she was soon awaken by a sound at her door. She looked up and saw 2 gray beings open the door and step in. One of them said, "You're coming with us again."

"Oh fuck no," Kyoko replied. She tried punching an alien, but she was then knocked out by a hit to the head.

When Kyoko woke up 74 minutes later, it was 1:32 in the morning. An alien said, "You've awoken."

"Huh," Kyoko said. "Wait, where the fuck am I? Why the hell am I chained to a table? And why the fuck am I naked?!"

"We just inserted a tracking device into your birth canal. Nothing major. It's very tiny, so it should not impact your reproduction methods you humans use."

"First off, I'm a lesbian, meaning I like only female humans, and second, what the fuck?!"

"That is interesting to know. We've never abducted a human who was attracted to the same sex as they were before. We did abduct one who was attracted to both sexes once, though. Anyway, the tracking device will enable us to further study the human species. Consider it an honour, Kyoko Sakura of Mitakihara, Japan."

"You perverts put a tracking device in my fucking vagina?! When I get outta these chains, I'm gonna kick your asses!"

"Captain, we should probably release the patient now before she gets combative."

"Agreed," said the Captain of the alien ship. Kyoko was then knocked out again by another blow to the head.

The next day at school, Kyoko said to Sayaka, "Last night. I was definitely abducted by aliens. They even put some tracking device in my... Well... Birth canal..."

Sayaka replied with a flat-out, "What the hell?"

"I'm being serious. Honest to God, I am."

"Kyoko-chan, you weren't abducted by anything, much less aliens."

"Hey girls," Mami said. "What's going on?"

"Kyoko-chan says she was abducted last night," Sayaka replied.

"Really," Mami. "Abducted?"

"I'm being serious! It was real!" Then, a bolt of lightning came down from the sky and hit Kyoko. She immediately began singing "Connect" by ClariS for 45 seconds as the actual song came out of her mouth, as if it was a recording being played back. Then, she suddenly stopped when another bolt of lightning hit her.

Sayaka said, "What the hell was that?"

"Oh my God," Mami said. "You were right!"

Kyoko, annoyed, replied, "I told you!"

"Alright," Sayaka said. "What do we do? Kyoko's being abducted by aliens. How do we solve this?"

"I have an idea, Miki-san," Mami said. "We could sleep over at Sakura-san's house and watch for any aliens."

Kyoko blushed at the suggestion. She said, "Alright, alright."

At 12:06, the aliens came again. This time, Mami and Sayaka were waiting in their magical girl outfits, ready to fight. Sayaka woke up Kyoko as Mami whacked an alien with a musket. Kyoko transformed and then followed the other alien to the ship.

After several minutes, they arrived. They found a giant saucer-like ship with several other gray aliens guarding the outside. Mami took care of them by sharpshooting the guards with a rifled musket. "Good work, Mami-san," said Sayaka.

The 3 of them then stormed the ship. However, they were surrounded and forced to surrender. Then, the alien's Captain appeared before them. He said, "Hello there. I know your names. Sayaka Miki, Mami Tomoe, and Kyoko Sakura, I presume?"

"Ya know what, bitch? I got 4 words for ya," Kyoko replied. "Shut the fuck up!"

Mami replied, "Why are you so rude to him?"

"You would be too if he had his scientists implant a tracking device in your vagina."

"Now now," the Captain replied. "That was only to research the human species. And thanks to you and countless other abducted humans, we can now plot the extinction of humanity!"

Sayaka said, "The extinction of what now?"

"C'mon," Mami said. "I just wanna go home, for Christ's sake!"

"Too bad," said the Captain. "Since you heard our plans, it's time for you 3 to die!"

Then, a man's voice said, "Not if we have anything to say about it!"

Suddenly, Seal Team 6 charged into the alien ship and killed all of the aliens in an epic battle. Mami, Kyoko, and Sayaka all were freed and even joined in on the battle. Sayaka forced an alien to kneel down on its knees before decapitating it, while Kyoko impaled 2 aliens at once, while Mami blew the Captain's head off with a Tiro Finale.

Finally, the leader of the Seal Team 6 said, "Thank you, all of you, for helping America and Japan defeat these aliens that tried to wipe out humanity. Now get back to bed. I assume you 3 have school tomorrow, right?"

The next morning, the 3 girls were honoured by the school and the President of the United States for their actions. The principal of the school even let Kyoko give a speech. He said, "Sakura Kyoko would be honoured to give a speech to the world."

"Hello, everyone," Kyoko began. "I learned in those tense minutes that we were trapped that we are not alone out there. However, not everyone out there is friendly. There will come a day where we face an even greater extraterrestrial threat greater than the one we had yesterday. When that time comes though, we will be ready, and we will win!"

The crowd cheered wildly in response to Kyoko's speech. The principal then said, "Thank you, Kyoko. Now, let's move on to a different subject..."

Kyoko sat down with her friends during Lunch Break. Homura said, "Congratulations, Kyoko-chan. You did very well."

"Thank you," Kyoko replied.

"I realised something that day too," Mami said. "It is important that I share it."

"Well then go ahead," Kyoko replied. "We'd like to hear your words of wisdom."

"Next time any of you idiots pressure me into going on some crazy adventure, I'm just gonna say, 'Screw you guys, I'm going home.'"