Title: Bright Eyes
Author: Brittany
Tagline: "A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."- Unknown
Summary: A series of of one shots chronicling the lives of Callie and Arizona through the pregnancy, birth and first years of their child's life.
Spoilers: Most of this story is really AU, but there is mentions of 6X24
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Callie/Arizona/Baby
Author's Note: This entire story is made of tiny ficlets that are nothing but pure fluff. While I agree that I write angst better than fluff, I'm just in a really fluffy mood lately. I'm happy, not so much dark and twisty anymore and it pays off with fluff. =)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
1. Two Pink Lines
The wind brushes against Arizona's face as she steps out of her small blue car, a soft hum in the back of her throat and clear sleep deprivation written upon her once flawless face. Her body aches with pains of the day as thoughts of how to perform a very high risk, very problematic surgery on a tiny human. A surgery that she doesn't even want to do in the first place but with both the little girl's parents and Derek Shepard breathing down her neck, she couldn't exactly say no. Grabbing the various files from the passenger's side of her car, a grumbled curse escapes from her pursed lips as a couple tumble onto the pathway stretched out before her. Growing up in a military family, she wonders how she grew to be so fearful of authority? How, now even as an adult, she finds herself unable to say no to anyone who may possible weld a little bit of power above her? She wonders how she could not say no to Derek Shepard with his greasy hair and McDreamy smile, even though she wasn't the least bit attracted to him?
Grabbing the scattering papers that now threaten to fly away from her, Arizona can't help but look up at the lovely beige house that sits before her. Towering only two stories with a brightly red painted door, the house had caught her eye during her first stroll through Seattle, Washington. Her mother had told her that a big house like that was certainly not meant to be lived in alone and advised her to look elsewhere until she was able to make that commitment. Now, she smiles her deep dimple revealing grin, she had made that commitment with the most wonderfully perfect woman on the planet. So, maybe it had to take a guy wielding a gun at the two of them for her to realize how good things actually were between them, that's not the point. The point is Calliope is hers and she is Calliope's and nothing will ever break them apart again.
Glancing up at the large house that is now full of their things and memories, she wonders how she could have ever let her slip away before. Kids are scary and messy and something that she never thought she would be able to parent after having all the knowledge of what could go wrong. But life is short, like Mr. Clark had deliberately taught them and it is this life that Arizona Robbins refuses to live without Callie. Kids or no kids. Because fear is just something that holds you back and she'll be damned if she lets anything keep her from spending the rest of her years with her Calliope.
She smiles when she notices the bedroom light on as she slowly stands, brushing the stray curls away from her face. Somehow, without even saying anything, without even being present, Calliope manages to take her breath away and she loves that about her. Pushing the files under her arm, she bounces up the paved walkway, taking a moment to notice the freshly planted flowers before she pushes open the red door. Instantly she is met by the warmth and the love that radiates through the entire house and she can't deny the fact that her heart does it's own dance number inside of her chest. Dropping her purse and the handful of files onto the sofa, she blows the blond curl away from her forehead and listens intently for her lover.
"Calliope, I'm home!" Her perky voice dances from her lips and she listens for a reply, but instead there is only silence. Wrinkling her brow in confusion, she looks around their living room that was once scattered with files, clothes and magazines that really haven't gotten much of a second glance since they returned from their honeymoon, was suddenly spotless. Like crazy, obsessive cleaning kind of spotless.
"Calliope?" calls out Arizona but yet again she is only answered with silence. Curiosity now sets in as the blond doddles her way into the kitchen, only to find it vacant and just as spotless and shiny as the living room. Gnawing on her bottom lip with her golden brows arched together in the shape of a 'v', the thoughts begin to race in Arizona's mind. Where could she be? Surely, Shepard wouldn't page her into work at this hour would he? Did she go to Mark's? If so, why didn't she text her and let her know that she wasn't going to be home? No, she shakes her head with a sigh, it is neither of those options because her car is parked in the drive way just like she left it this morning. Unless...unless she didn't take the car? No, that's just silly, of course she would take the car, Seattle's a big place, there is no way that she would walk from one side of Seattle to the other.
"Calliope? Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Arizona calls out in a sing song voice as her fingers stretch across the the edge of the stairwell. She doesn't know why she is surprised that this time, like all the others, is met by the harsh silence of an nearly empty house. Intrigued, the blond bounces up the stairs, her eyes venturing on the black and white wedding photographs that now adorn the north wall of her stairwell. She stops to mesmerize one more than all the rest, it was taken when they said their I do's, the beautiful stain glass window of the Church became alive with the sun and the look in Calliope's in this photograph, it nearly moves her to tears every time she sees and this time, is no different. Brushing the tears away from her eyes, she tries to control the racing heart in her chest as she continues her journey up the stairs.
"All I got to say is, if you are playing hard to get, you better be half naked and waiting for me in bed! Because all this work and no play makes for a very unhappy Arizona," Arizona grumbles as she enters the hallway to their bedroom. Noticing the light that is cascading from under the closed door of the master bedroom, she cocks her head to the side and smiles gently, wrinkling her nose in sudden mischievousness. Rolling the brass doorknob in her hand, Arizona forces a yawn to escape her pursed lips as she stretches her arm out in front of her.
"Ahhhh. I'm so exhausted after working all day and climbing those stars. You should just put some clothes back on or something because I don't...I don't think I'll be able to stay awake and do the McDirty with you, unless you lure me with your gorgeous Latin eyes and whisper dirty Spanish in my ear because you know..." But her voice trails off when she finds Calliope sitting, unfortunately, fully clothed on the edge of the bed, cradling a pregnancy test in her hands as her eyes flicker from Arizona's beautiful face to the drug store test. Instantly, she swears she can feel her heart stop in her chest, her lips part as a quiet gush of air escapes from within her and her eyes solely become fixated upon Calliope's dark brown.
"I know that Addison said that it wasn't going to be likely on the first try but I'm a week late and I'm just...I know that I'm probably just making it up in my head...I'm too eager, too hopeful and I know that I'm just going to get disappointed but there's...there's something different about my body and I'm...I'm late and..." Callie's shaky voice nearly breaks and Arizona simply shakes her head, swooping down in front of her to take her hands within hers. As Callie's suddenly tear filled eyes meet Arizona's beautiful blue, the blond only smiles weakly, taking her hand to cup her wife's face within her hand as she brushes away the stray tears that fall down her face.
"It's okay. I'm here. For whatever the test may say. We can do this, together," Arizona promises, her eyes alight with the moment. Turning her head slightly to the side, Calliope only mumbles something as a cry escapes from the back of her throat. Fumbling with the pregnancy test in her hands, she nearly loses her breath when Arizona's beautiful blue eyes are found staring deep into hers.
"Are you sure that you really want to do this? I mean, it's probably just a false alarm and we can back out of this if you want to. I know that you said that you didn't want kids and the only reason you changed your mind was to keep from losing me and I just don't want you to feel like you are pressured..." But Arizona's lips upon hers stops her quickly from saying anything else. Softly, the blond pulls away with a bashful smile, her eyes staring deep into Calliope's watery brown and she wonders how she could ever not want this, how she could ever decide that she didn't want a family with the lovely Latina?
"I'm not pressured, I'm not just doing this because of you. I want this, Calliope. Whether it happens now or ten years down the road. I want to have a baby with you, a perfect mixture of you and me, a perfect reflection of the love that we share. I want this with my whole heart, okay? I know what I said before but before was different, now I know what it's like to love and lose you and I never want to do that again. Now I know that life can be over in a second and I don't want to live a life without you or our ten kids," Arizona jokes as she cracks a smile but Callie's face remains solemn as she continues to fumble with the pregnancy test in her hands. Feeling helpless, Arizona only squeezes her wife's hands, catching her attention as her jaw locks tightly and that all too familiar fire catches within her.
"Hey, it's going to be okay. No matter what that test says, I'm not leaving you. And no matter what that test says, it changes nothing between us. I want a baby with you but if that test is negative then we'll just keep trying. Addison said that it was unlikely that you could become pregnant on the first try but she didn't say it was impossible. No matter what, I'm right here," Arizona promises, brushing a stray raven curl away from her wife's face, yet Callie only shakes her head.
"I don't know if I can do this," sighs Callie.
"You just pee on a stick, how hard can that be?" questions Arizona, her brow wrinkled as she laughs, a good laugh, a laugh that creates a smile upon Callie's face. The raven haired woman only bellows a familiar laugh as the tears suddenly disappear from her eyes and the most beautiful smile plays upon her lips, a smile that stops Arizona's heart in her chest, a smile that tells her that everything they went through together had a purpose. It was all meant to bring them here, to this exact moment, together. Sighing, Callie pushes herself upward as she clutches to the pregnancy test in her hand, as she extends her hand to Arizona gently pulling her to her feet as well. Carefully, their fingers become intertwined around one another, like a perfectly woven piece of art as Arizona gently rubs soft circles onto Calliope's thumb.
"Our entire lives could be changing," Callie exclaims weakly, her eyes venturing from Arizona's face to the purple box containing the object that could possibly change her life in the most dramatic way.
"By you peeing on that stick, yes it can," Arizona jokes another familiar smile and Callie can only laugh. Softly, she pulls her hand away as she heads to the bathroom but something stops her just short of reaching the doorway. Instead, she stands shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she tosses the pregnancy test back and forth between her hands. Arizona can only smile at her wife's sudden procrastination when she becomes nervous, a trait that makes the butterflies in her stomach dance and her breath become lost somewhere in her chest.
"Hey, Cal?" Arizona calls out and Callie glances over her shoulder at her wife who stands strong, a soft smile pressed upon her lips, "I love you. No matter what, nothing is ever going to change that. I love you." She exclaims and Callie simply nods, finding the strength that she needs before she enters the bathroom and shuts the door, leaving Arizona and possibly her old life, behind her.
–
"How long has it been?" barks Calliope as she paces, for what Arizona swears, is the sixty-eight time in front of the bed. Her fingers are twisted in her hair as she gnaws on her bottom lip, her heart racing in her chest. She supposes she understands it now, why women pace back and forth when they are awaiting the news, why men sit with their head in their hands, because it is single handily the most scariest thing that has ever happened to her in her entire existence. Because suddenly, she isn't just worried about herself anymore, she is concerned about the possible beautiful child growing inside of her that she shares with Arizona and she finds herself praying to a higher power that she isn't so sure even exists.
"Two more minutes," Arizona answers, a diligent smile pressed upon her lips.
"You said that the last time I asked!" Callie snaps, shooting a glance in Arizona's direction, her eyes narrowed in anxiousness as the familiar passion that she loves so much flickers in her eyes. The blond swallows the laugh in her throat as she spreads her hand out on the bed below her, nodding her head in understanding. Suddenly, she finds herself glad that she isn't the one having the baby, because she isn't so sure that she could stand the five minute wait to find out if her body is going to be drastically changing like Callie is now.
"I know, sweetie, because the last time you asked was five seconds ago," Arizona replies with a faint smile and a quiet chuckle dances from her lips. A blush quickly forms within Callie's round cheeks as she nods her head in understanding, pulling gently upon the tangled hair around her finger as she bites harder on the inside of her jaw.
"Right, I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm a little nervous," Callie admits with a nervous laugh. She doesn't know why this is such a big deal, she sighs. After all, Addison said that all the eggs that Arizona had donated were viable and they could continue to try for as long as they like until they become successfully pregnant. Addison had told her that the odds were in her favor of conceiving within the first few months of treatment and their baby should be healthy. But somewhere, in the back of her mind, the doubts keep telling her that life can't be this good.
"Yeah, I'm kind of noticing that," Arizona mumbles with a giggle. Suddenly, however, Callie stops pacing, but only stands, her eyes fixated upon Arizona's beautifully flawless face. No-one could ever understand how badly she wants the test to be positive, no-one could ever understand how badly she wants to grow a mini-Arizona inside of her with her curls and her beautiful dimples and her fearless attitude. No, she sighs, this isn't a matter of want anymore, this is a matter of need.
"I was seventeen years old when I took my first pregnancy test," Callie begins, breaking the silence that now falls around them like waves crashing into the shore. Arizona's face becomes frozen in an expression of interest and oddly enough, hurt, that this isn't the first time that Calliope has taken one of these tests before. The raven haired beauty can only smile at the jealousy that is clearly bestowed within her wife's eyes before she continues the story.
"We had been dating for a year and half and he was...he was a good guy, or so I thought. I had no problem giving my virginity to him in the back seat of his daddy's car after homecoming. But then when my time of the month came and went, I realized that our relationship wasn't as smooth sailing as I thought. I told him that I thought I could be pregnant and he accused me of cheating on him, said that if I was pregnant, there was no way that baby could be his. He bought me a pregnancy test and broke up with me in the parking lot of our local store. I went home and took the test...turns out it was a false alarm. My period started the next day and everything went back to normal. But ever since then...I've been afraid of having a baby because babies stress relationships and I don't want...I'm scared," Callie admits and in that moment, she completely steals Arizona's heart.
"Hey, come here. Come here," Arizona whispers, taking her wife's hand within her own as she sits her down on the bed beside of her. She notices Calliope's trembling, the wet tears dancing in her eyes and she wonders how any one could be that big of a douche to just leave her and run like that?
"I'm not that jack ass. I'm not going to buy you a pregnancy test and break up with you, okay? I love you. I love all of you. Every day. Forever. Yeah, babies are stressful and yeah, babies make relationships hard sometimes but I'm not going to pack up my things and run, you know why? Because I can't live without you. I can't be without you anymore. You gave me a reason for standing still, a reason to face my fears about having kids. No matter what, I'm not leaving. Even God himself could not move me from you. I love you, Calliope. That's never going to change," Arizona promises, a faint smile upon her lips. Swallowing the cry in her throat, Calliope only nods her head in understanding, batting away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes as her voice cracks.
"Yeah? Even if I run out of the house with two different shoes on because I can't see my feet? Even if I wake you up in the middle of the night and send you half way across the state for a particular kind of ice cream? Even if I'm some crazy bipolar pregnant lady and can't stand the sight of you and make you sleep downstairs on that crappy couch that smells like dog, even though we don't have a dog? Even if I want to name our kid something totally stupid like Agatha? You would still love me?" Callie asks in a frantic jumble of words and Arizona only smiles, a laugh escaping from her as she nods her head.
"Yes, even then. Oh, and by the way, if you ever do run out of the house with two different shoes on, I'm so not telling you. Because that would be so funny," Arizona jokes and Calliope scowls, grabbing the pillow from behind her as she hits her in the stomach with it. The Latina opens her mouth to say something but before she can, an alarm goes off, interrupting her thoughts. Quickly, she shares a glance with Arizona before the blond simply nods her head. Callie sighs, using her fists as she pushes herself upward, gnawing on her bottom lip, her eyes fixated upon the bathroom that now seems miles away.
"No matter what?" She asks, her voice wavering.
"No matter what," promises Arizona. The raven haired beauty accepts her answer with a simple nod of her head before she pushes herself forward and into the bathroom. Waiting with eager eyes, Arizona listens to the silence that falls around the room now, her heart racing loud in her chest as she struggles to swallow the lump in the back of her throat. No matter what the test said it changed nothing between them, no matter what the test said, she is going to keep trying like hell until Callie gets the baby that she so desperately wants. However, she has to admit, she really, really wants that test to be positive.
"Oh my God. Ar-Ar-Arizona," Callie's voice is breaking into a cry and Arizona swears she can feel her heart drop into her stomach. Negative. With a sigh and a simple shake of her head, she pushes the tears back in her eyes as she swallows the cry in her throat. Now was certainly not the time to be weak and vulnerable, she tells herself, because a good man in a storm protects the one they love and it's quite clear by the tone of her voice, Calliope needs protecting, even if it's from herself.
"You know what? It's okay. It's okay. We'll just...we'll just try again, okay? I'll call Addison and we'll schedule another appointment and we'll just...we'll keep trying and this is going to..." But her voice trails off when Callie steps out of the bathroom, cradling the pregnancy test within her eyes. The tears trickle down her cheeks as the most beautiful smile forms upon her lips and in that moment, Arizona can not believe how truly beautiful her wife is. Her lips part as a quiet gush of air escapes from within her as Callie steps toward her, extending the pregnancy test to the Peds surgeon. The blond takes it with a quick glance from her girlfriend's loving eyes to the plastic stick within her hand, looking down, she suddenly notices the truth of the situation that now hangs in the air between them.
"You're...you're pregnant?" Arizona stutters, her eyes flickering from her wife's glowing face to the two pink lines that are staring up at her in the utmost truth. Her stomach flips, her heart races in her chest as her knees begin to shake and her palms grow sweaty. Chuckling a cry, Calliope only has the strength to nod her head and Arizona only gasps, "Oh my God." Fresh tears form within her blue eyes, a few cascading down her cheeks and it completely steals Callie's breath and stops her heart. Her lips move but no words escape from her as her fingers stretch across her currently flat stomach, feeling the life beneath her fingertips.
"Please tell me those are tears of joy. Please tell me that you are happy. I mean, I know that A-Addison said that this was highly unlikely on the first try but it...it happened. And it's...I know that we aren't really ready right now but this...this is a good thing, right? This is a really good thing. And I know that you are scared but...but that's okay because once you see him or her...once you hear their heartbeat...I can't...this is a really good thing. Are you happy, Arizona? Because I want you to..." But she doesn't get to finish as Arizona's lips collide hard with her own. Gently, the smaller woman pushes her back against the wall as her teeth graze upon her bottom lip, pulling just slightly before she pulls away, leaving their foreheads together as she struggles to catch her breath.
"I love you, I love you so much. You are so beautiful. Oh my God, I can't even...thank you. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you for giving me this chance, thank you for loving me this much. God, I'm happy, I'm so happy, Calliope. This is real, this is it, this is the start of the rest of our lives together," Arizona whispers, spreading her fingers against Calliope's flat stomach and the raven haired beauty sniffles with a laugh as she presses her lips against hers for one last powerful, loving kiss.
"You're glowing," Arizona smiles, pulling away staring down at the flat stomach under her fingers, "I love you baby." She whispers, rubbing soft circles onto Calliope's flat abdomen, the infamous dimple revealing warm smile curling upon her face. Callie sniffles a cry as Arizona's beautiful blue eyes find hers and for a moment, the entire world falls away. For a moment there is no fear, no uncertainty, no doubt, for a moment there is simply just love. "I love you, Calliope." Arizona cries and Calliope smiles.
"We love you, too," Calliope whispers before their lips find Arizona's yet again and the entire world melts away, if only for a moment.
Reviews are nice.