Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: This is my first fanfic. You wouldn't sue someone on thier first fanfic, would you, Marvel? X-men belong to Marvel, Monty Python and Barney belong to someone else, Smash Mouth, Eric Idle, and all the other people that don't belong to anybody else belong to them selves. I'm pretty sure that's all. Please, Read and Review! Please?

LASAGNA

Scott: Who's that guy?
Jean: How should we know?
Professor X: Stop fighting. He's the evil villian, Lasagna.
Cannonball: Where's Rogue?
Gambit: Look, Lasagna has her!
Rogue: Aron, What are you doing? Let me go!
Lasagna: Who's Aron? I'm Lasagna!
Rogue: Not again.
Professor X: What do you mean, not again? This is our first time meeting him.
Storm: Look out! He's throwing Lasagna!
Rogue: How's he throwing it and holding me?
Cannonball: How will we defeat him without hurting Rogue?
Professor X: Simple. Nate, Wolverine, Iceman, Shadowcat, and Chamber are on thier way, and if that doesn't work, we still have our secret wepon.
Gambit: We have a secret wepon?
Professor X: You know about it.
Gambit: oh.
Shadowcat: We're here!
Chamber: Why's he throwing Lasagna at us?
Lasagna: Because I am the evil Lasagna! Take this!
Professor X: Oh my god, Lasagna killed Hepzibah!
Cannonball: You b******!
Professor X: That's it! Scott, get the secret wepon.
Scott: Yes sir, Professor sir
Rogue: Oh man.
Professor X: Is there a problem with the secret wepon, Rogue?
Rogue: No, Ja- er, Professor.
Professor X: Good
Scott: Professor?
Professor X: Yes, Scott?
Scott: How do I get the secret wepon?
Professor X: The song, stupid, the song!
Scott: Oh. Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah...
Batwoman: Batwoman's here!
Cannonball: Batwoman, how will we defeat him?
Batwoman: We'll spray him with pam!
Iceman: How will that help?
Batwoman: It'll make him too slipery to hold anything!
Iceman: Oh, okay.
Chamber: Look, he's dropping her!
Iceman: But he's on top of a building.
Gambit: It's okay, she can fly.
Storm: Then why's she falling?
Gambit: I'll catch her!
Rogue: hurry!
Gambit: I got you, uh, chere.
Rogue: Thanks
Gambit: If your powers aren't working, why don't you give me a kiss?
Rogue: But- wait, what am I saying? Sure.

-5 minutes later-

Iceman: Uh, Remy, Rogue, are you done? The Professor wants to tell us about our new mission.
Rogue: Huh? uh, yeah, sure, come on, Remy.
Scott: So, what's our new mission?
Professor X: We must destroy Alaska!
Rogue: Why?
Professor X: Because it's just there.
X-man: You wanna run that by us again?
Professor X: We must destroy Alaska because it just sits there thinking of evil ways to kill us.
Iceman: Uh, yeah, we'll get right on that.
Professor X: Good. Go my x-men! Destroy the evil fiftith state!
Rogue: Acctually, it's the forty-ninth. And what's with all this your x-men crap?
Professor X: Whatever, just go.

-later-

Rogue: We aren't really going to Alaska, are we?

-even later-

Rogue: I can't belive we really came to Alaska.
Iceman: Shut up Rogue, maybe we can ditch him in the woods.
Professor X: I heard that!
Iceman: We don't give a crap.
Professor X: Bobby, you little peice of...I oughta...
Storm: Look, the Professor's walking!
Iceman: State the obvious, 'Ro.
Storm: And he has hair!
Iceman: Just now noticing that?
Cannonball: Guys, he's coming this way! Run!
Gambit: Wait, don't we have to save Rogue from the villian?
Rogue: What?! I haven't been captured yet! There isn't even a villian yet! And I'm not-
Evil Bunny: I've got you my pretty, and your little dog, too.
Wolverine: I'm not a dog, I'm Wolverine!
Evil Bunny: Oh, sorry.
Iceman: Who the heck are you supposed to be?
Evil Bunny: I'm the evil rabbit from that Monty Python movie.
Rogue: Oh, this is just great! Terrific!
Scott: Really?
Rogue: Sarcasm Scott, sarcasm! You really are stupid.
Professor X: Scott! You can wait in the Blackbird!
Scott: But Prof-
Professor X: Stop whinning and get back in the blackbird, you brown nosing twit.
Evil Bunny: Who brought a gun? That's not playing fair.
Cable: Shut up rabbit!
X-man: Cable?
Rogue: Cable? It's really you?
Cable: Who are you? What's going on here?
Salad: I brought her.
Iceman: Who's that?
Cable: Salad, so we meet again.
Salad: Cable, a formidable opponent, but this time I have help.
Wolverine: Barney? NO!
Gambit: Wolverine killed himself? Cool!
Professor X: Gambit!
Iceman: Now who's that?
Batwoman: Eric Idle? I love you!
Eric Idle: Who are you people? And what the bloody hell am I doing in Alaska?
Evil Bunny: I'm the evil rabbit!
Eric Idle: No you aren't.
Evil Bunny: I'm not?
Eric Idle: No, you're just some little girl wearing bunny ears.
Evil Bunny: Oh. I'm going to leave then.
Rogue: Why does everyone keep dropping me?
Cable: Where'd Barney go?
Batwoman: He's up there!
Iceman: Run!
Rogue: Why are you all so afraid? What's the worst he could do, sing?
Barney: Hi everybody! It's time for a singalong about our friend, Cable!
Cable: Noooooooooooo!
Barney: He's okay, live in present day, he's alright-
Iceman: Make him stop!
Barney: His clone is Stryfe, he wants his life, could you say the same?
Rogue: Why us?
Barney: So come through time and see him, come through time just know that his arm's T.O. his arm's T.O.-
Smash Mouth: That's our song!
Rogue: Smash Mouth? How are you all getting here?
Iceman: What song?
Batwoman: For this you must die Barney.
Shadowcat: Has anyone seen Batwoman or Kurt?
Professor X: Not since we got off the Blackbird. They went into the woods.
Shadowcat: They didn't-
Iceman: Here they come, and it looks like they did.
Shadowcat: While we're on the subject, has anyone seen Rogue, Gambit, Cannonball, or Nate?
Nightcrawler:They were behind us in the woods.
Professor X: Together?
Batwoman: No, they aren't like You, Jean, and Scott, Pr.
Professor X: Oh, well then. Okay. tell them we have to go soon.
Nightcrawler:Why?
Professor X: Because the Japanese just bought Alaska from me. They're turning it into an amusment park.
Chamber: But I wanna see what happens.
Professor X: The rabbit gives Eric a ride home, Barney gets his a** handed to him, and we *accidentaly* leave Scott here to freeze to death.
Scott: Hey!
Jean: How'd you know all that stuff?
Professor X: I read the book.
Scott: Huh, there's a book?
Gambit: What about Cable?
Professor X: He explains something or other to us.
Rogue: could he wait till I'm done with Remy back here?

-2 hours later-

Shadowcat: Guys, he's starting
Rogue: we're almost done.
Cable: Now!
Rogue: Oh, ruin my day now, why don't ya'?
Cable: You know?
Rogue: duh.
Cable: Why didn't you tell them?
Storm: Tell us what?
Rogue: would you tell them?
Cable: It would be funny.
Rogue: I kept quiet for another reason.
Cable: What...oh.
Gambit: Why're you looking at me?
Storm: TELL US WHAT?!
Cable: You want to tell them?
Rogue: *sigh* sure.
Storm: WHAT?
Rogue: You aren't the x-men.
Gambit: We...we aren't?
Rogue: You're just normal people.
Iceman: We are?
Rogue: Well, you aren't exactly normal. Rick really is funny like Bobby, Jacob really does want to lead us all, Jarod, you really are cute like Gambit, and Jason really is stupid. And Samantha's really in love with you, too.
Scott: She is?
Jean: That was a secret, B****.
Scott: What about batwoman?
Rogue: Steph? Oh, she really is Batwoman.
Iceman: Eric Idle and Smash Mouth?
Rogue: They were really them.
Chamber: Oh. Wanna go get pizza?

I have no idea why I wrote this. forgive me, please?