That memory still made me shudder. It was not the bloody image of the former deputy that shook me, but the killer. Tigerclaw.
*Flashback*
"Why did you do it, Tigerclaw?" I asked. Me and mentor were part of a group that had gone to fight RiverClan. The day Redtail had died. "I had no choice! He was going to tell the whole clan!" Tigerclaw said.
"So? Who cares if the clan knows?" I asked. You see, Tigerclaw and me had more than a simple mentor and his apprentice relationship. We loved each other..like mates. "I do! And you should too!" Tigerclaw said. Something wasn't right.
"Well I don't! I love you, and you love me. That's all that matters." I said. Didn't Tigerclaw feel the same way? Tigerclaw stood there in silence, staring into my eyes. "Don't you want respect?" he asked. That was all it took for me to realize something. He didn't care about me. At least, not as much as being deputy.
I slowly backed away from him. I felt myself threatening to cry. No, I wouldn't show him my tears. "I understand now." was all I said. I then ran away from him. I heard him call my name, but I didn't turn back. I wouldn't. I could feel his paws pounding the ground in an effort to catch up to me.
That wasn't going to happen. Being small and thin has its perks. I could run faster than him. I ran until I reached camp. "Redtail is dead!" I shouted. I knew after that outtburst, nothing would be the same between me and Tigerclaw.
*End of Flashback*
After that, I told my friends that Tigerclaw wanted to kill me. I know it's wrong to lie, but how else could I get away from Tigerclaw? I'd never be able to bear being around him after Redtail's death. Tigerclaw, now Tigerstar has turned evil. Or so cats say. Under all that ambition is still the cat I once knew. The one that would lick my ears, and lie with me in the sun. I still miss that cat. But he's gone now.
That's why I left the clans..forever.