Ridiculously Poor Future

by Masamune CAN

The class sees into the future when Ms. Bitters gives them a time helmet. Yes, that sounds corny. But still... the future is near. Beware. Come onnn, is ANYone gonna write a review?

INVADER ZIM

#43/a

"Ridiculously Poor Future"

by CAN

FADE IN:

EXT. SKOOL.

The SKOOL bell RINGS.

INT. SKOOL - THE HALLWAY

Poonchy and Zootch stand outside Ms.Bitters' class. The bell is still ringing and they stare around, looking frightened. Poonchy pushes Zootch into a nearby TRASHCAN and runs into class as a large black shadow of Ms. Bitters crawls up the wall of the room behind him. All the children still left in the hall squel as the whole room is devoloped in Bitters' darkness. CUT TO:

MS. BITTERS CLASSROOM

Poonchy hops in his chair as all the class, who is sitting, watching the class-door window. A random kid from outside is smashed against the window, then, slobbering and groaning, slides out of site. The door opens and Ms. Bitters stands. The door closes behind her and she teleports to her seat. PAN to look at class completly.

MS. BITTERS (COND'T)

Class, another miserable event is upon us. The Skool RULERS want you all to see ten minutes of your useless futures for your own pointless joy.

She snaps her fingers and three vultures fly in the window and drop SPOOKY-LIKE HELMETS on each desk. Dib's hits him hard on the head before dropping.

MS. BITTERS

Your dooms will then be clear to your minds, and will hopefully exclude your STUUPID recklessness.

ZIM examines his helmet with much interest. Dib pokes at his with his pencil end, excited too.

DIB

Whoa, my future?! Maybe it'll really be like ZIM made me think it was! I had my heart set on riding that moose...

ZIM (EXCITED)

THE FUTURE? THE FUTURE OF ZIIM!? ZIM's future? FUTURE? ZIM's ALMIGHTY future! FUTURE ZIM?! ZIM?! FUTUREY ZIMNESS?!

(beat)

That future?

MS. BITTERS (MISERABLE)

Yes, ZIM... that future. Now, apply your helmets to your heads... Dib, I've given you an EXTRA LARGE helmet for your head...

Dib sighs. Everyone grabs their helmets and jams them onto their filthy heads. ZIM shakes with suspense and puts his on. CUT TO:

ZIM's FUTURE POV - CONTINUOUS

The class from ZIM's desk view is shot until it statics and bars into the FRONT OF SKOOL. FADE TO:

SKOOL - TWENTY YEARS IN THE FUTURE

The Skool looks almost the same except for some more patches out of the horrible lawn and the crooked sign. A buzzing is heard and a holographic sign shoots out:

SKOOL... "TWENTY YEAR REUNION."

INT. SKOOL - THE HALLWAY

Dib stands, talking to someone leaning against a locker behind a magazine that says: GOTHIE GLORY.

DIB

This must be my time, Gaz! It's been TWENTY WHOLE YEARS and ZIM still remains undiscovered! TODAY IS IT! I KNOW IT! I feel it in my chupukrabra possessed shoes!

Gaz lowers the magazine.

GAZ

Shut UP, Dib! Twenty years, and YOU still haven't SHUT UP!

DIB (NOT LISTENING)

I wonder if ZIM will come to this reunion... pretty stupid decision, if he does... BECAUSE I'LL BE WAITING!

GAZ beats him over the head with her magazine, strangling him with the other hand.

GAZ

SHUT UP!

EXT. SKOOL - CONTINUOUS

ZIM runs up the steps with GIR, who is in Pig suit. ZIM is in his old disguise, only it was different by a slightly longer wig.

ZIM

How do I look?

He poses for GIR.

GIR (LIKE A FASHION FREAK)

Fabulous, girl!

ZIM

Well, GIR... I only came to this stupid reunion thing because I hope it will strengthen the human's trust in my loyalness of their hideous educational system. We part NOW!

GIR

Alrighty, then.

ZIM (STILL GOING)

SOOON! SOON enough will I destroy the humans with my BARE HANDS!

GIR

Bare hands? Your right. We need some gloves.

ZIM (AS IF GIR WAS BANTERING)

DONE with the conversation YET, GIR?!

GIR

Pretty much, yeah...

ZIM

Okay, then!

He turns and disappears through the Skool entrance. GIR stands in Pig suit for a few BEATS. He suddenly runs off, screaming. CUT TO:

INT. SKOOL - THE HALLWAY

ZIM walks in, looking proud for NO APPARENT REASON. He sees Dib.

ZIM

Heeeyyy, Diiib! Look who decided to show up... YOU! HA!

DIB

OH HIII, ZIM. Scared?

ZIM

What - huh - why should I be?

DIB

Because, ZIM! Because when you walk into class all... short... and stuff... still... they'll KNOW you're up to something.

ZIM

Foolish, foolish, stupid, yet foolish Dib. The children pose no threat to me! Just because your HEAD has experienced no change but more largeness in all this HORRIBLE time, does not mean the other EARTH KILTS will find odd in ZIM.

DIB blinks.

DIB

Okay... I don't know what that means, but I don't think you get it. HUMANS GROW IN TIME! ALL OF THEM! There's no way you can SQUIRM out of this one. No longer is your SQUIRMINESS to save your SQUIRMY SQUIRM ORGANS!

ZIM

SQUIRM as you will, you SQUIRMY Dib! But -- wait, huh? Where are you going?

DIB

Class. I'm tired of you. So tired. I wish you'd just move back to Irk and leave me alone.

ZIM (STUBBORN)

Never.

INT. SKOOL - MS. BITTERS' CLASSROOM

All the old class are adults. TALL adults. They sit, cramped up in their old seats. Dib gets in his chair while ZIM freezes and stares at all the people.

ZIM

GREAT CARBON FRESHENER! WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?

Someone throws a wadded paper at him.

ZIM

ALL YOU HUMANS ARE ALIKE!

GROWN KEEF

Wow, everyone! Gee, lookett ZIM!

GROWN GRETCHEN

Woah, ha, woah.

DIB

Small as an alien from PLANET IRK!

GROWN ROB

That's not what we're looking at Dib. Who cares if he's short, you jerk.

GROWN SARA

Yeah... he's just a midget. We're looking at his hair! IT'S SOO SHINY!

GROWN THE LETTER M

ZIM, YOU SHINY HAIRED HUNK!

ZIM

What is this hunk you speak of!- I mean, YES! Yes, I am quite a hunk.

He casually examined his 'fingernails'.

ZIM

My hair, oh how it shines... WATCH IT SPARKLE, YOU MORONS!

He quickly moves his head back and forth, so that his hair glints in the light and blinds everyone. They all clap, the boys now blind. Suddenly and at random, all the girls of the class hop on him and hug him. He screams as loud as he can.

ZIM

OFF! THIS WASN'T PART OF THE HUNK AGREEMENT THAT WAS JUST INTIATED! OFF, OFF, OFF!

DIB

Oh, come on. Don't tell me that now we're ALL back together only to continue you people's ignoring my warnings, and this and that, and whodee doo, and--

GROWN HAM MAN

WE LOVE YOU ZIMMM!

DIB (GIVEN UP BY NOW)

Thought so. Bye, everyone! Good by forever.

And he stalks out of the room as though he'd expected this. 20 years and still expecting more then what should be expected, that expectant Dib was. But then he had an INSANITY ATTACK and flipped back around, ran at ZIM, kicked all persone off of the alien and began yelling.

DIB

I'LL GIVE YOU HAIR! YOU WANNA SEE ZIM's 'SHINY HAIR'?? CHECK IT OUT!

Having the last of it and before ZIM could react, Dib was behind him pulling his hair off. In SLOW MOTION, the wig is pulled from his scalp... ZIM screams, unable to do much more... the antennas unfold from underneath... ZIM yells some more... Dib throws the wig out the window... ZIM, still in SLOW-MOTION, grasps his head in feelingness... He screams... Dib laughs... Everyone in the classroom had had no time to react within the short amount of time in which ZIM screamed about seven times. Finally-

ZIM

NO! It's... it's not what it looks! These are... ehhhhh... my REAL hairs! I'm bald, you see, and these here are my only two...

He shifts his eyes in the most obvious manner. Randomly then, a dodge ball flies from off screen and hits him in the back of the head. He lurches forward, groaning as he hits the ground hard. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for when the plot demands, both his contacts deattach from his eyeballs with the impact and expose his natural Irken eyes. He screams as they, for some reason beyond gravity, fly out the window the way that his wig had. He is now all Irken. The students stare stupidly for another few seconds, until, finally, it hits them.

RANDOM CLASSMATE

Heeyyy... I think something' differ'nt 'bout ZIIIM... I just can't my finger on it...

ANOTHER CLASSMATE

WOW! Dib was right ALL ALONG! ZIM IISS ALIEN!

SAME RANDOM CLASSMATE AS BEFORE

Noo... I don't think that's it... did he get a haircut? Nooo...

DIB (THE HAPPIEST HE'd EVER FELT)

YES, THAT's RIGHT! I TOLD you ZIM was alien! And there he is... PLANNING to destroy you ALLL...

ZIM

Huh? What? NO! NO, it is lies; the Dib's brain is overfilled with filthy, distasteful LIES!

DIB (EVILLY GLEEFUL)

Your out, ZIM. Now Earth will experiment on your organs n' guts and do stuff with your base!

ZIM (CASUAL)

Nahh... not while I'M here, Dib. NOT WHILE THE INCREDIBLE IRKEN INVADER ZIM REIGNS!

DIB (CONFUSED/CAUGHT OFFGUARD)

But... none of this would be happening if you weren't here...

While Dib is confused and flustered, ZIM activates his PAK legs, does a dramatic, show-off spin, and agily leaps out the window, laughing. But then he leans back in for a split second, finishes his cut-off evil laughing and leaves again, frantic. A few seconds later, a bomb is thrown through the window. Barely heard from outside, you can hear ZIM ranting.

ZIM (FADED)
Now! Take some of the Irken power, Dib! CHECK IT OUT!

The bomb ticks quickly three times as Dib looks up, a bored expression on his face.

DIB

I knew it.

And it explodes. POW!

EXT. OUTSIDE MS. BITTERS' CLASS WINDOW

From the ground view, ZIM runs out of the shot as his PAK legs retreat, leaving him on normal foot. Actually, maybe I should define normal first. This show is mental. Anyhow, once out of the shot completely, we see his wig and contacts atop on another in the grass. The scene jerks out from under us. We see the classroom again.

INT. MS.BITTERS CLASS - PRESENT

ZIM screams. Ms. Bitters has his helmet raised above her head.

MS. BITTERS

TIME's UP!

ZIM (OUTRAGED)

WHATT??! NOO! I MUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS! GIVE IT BCK!

MS. BITTERS

Noo.

ZIM

You DARE reject ZIIM of his wants!? I'll show you!

He tackles her head by launching himself out of his seat violently. She hisses, spits and claws at him. As this happens in the background, Dib removes his own helmet.

DIB

Well... I didn't have time to see anything on me riding a moose... but I did have a tatoo that said, 'ZIM Is An Alien...' I'VE WANTED ONE OF THOSE FOR LIKE, TWO MONTHS!

ZIM finally gets the helmet from Bitters. She tossed him across the room; he hits the wall opposite the class and dents the wall... Bitters furiously bursts into flames, which left a small wicked spirit. This small wicked spirit then bursts into flames and leaves nothing. ZIM holds the helmet as he painfully stands up, raising it above his head.

ZIM (WEAKLY)

Victory! Woo...

DIB

What is it, ZIM? Interesting future? Did it include me revealing you to the whole skool and you having to run for your life through the town??

ZIM shifted his eyes.

ZIM (UNSURELY)

Of... course not.

Then ZIM ran out of the class, holding the helmet hard againest his chest.

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE - LATER

ZIM's house is... well, there. ZIM's voice is heard O.S.

ZIM (O.S)

I can't believe it, GIR! The Almighty future of ZIIM includes me FAILING! ZIM doesn't FAIL! And he also doesn't-

INT. ZIM's LAB - CONTINUOUS

ZIM (COND'T)

-take TWENTY YEARS to complete a mission!

GIR

Your right, master. It takes MUCH longer then that!

ZIM (IGNORING GIR)

Well... I hope this gets better...

(he points to the helmet)

Time to continue.

He holds the helmet at arm's length and cords extend from a control panel and attach to it. On the large screen in the lab, the helmet's POV shows. ZIM touches his palm to a sensor thingy on the back of the helmet. The main screen thingy shows a sign and types up, 'Loading...' Then it changes to, 'Scanning'. Then, 'Loading a bit more...' then, 'Activation! ZIM.'

ZIM removes his palm and watches the screen. GIR offers some jerky.

INT. ZIM's LAB - TWENTY YEARS IN THE FUTURE

ZIM looks nervous, and he sweats much. He looks insane. He packs everything he has into his Vootrunner, which is parked near. ZIM grunts nervously in a distracted way. Finally he tosses the last rubber mongoose into the cockpit, which Minimoose pops out of, squeaking cutely.

ZIM
No, Minimoose. We're not going back to Irk. We will merely move to another ceptor of Earth, and then continue our work from there. Now, where's that idiot robot GIR?

Minimoose peeps in a confused manner.

ZIM

You don't know??! Isn't he here?! I sent him here right after going to Skool! Where could he be??

INT. A CONVENIENT STORE

GIR is in the garden section as people walk by, staring wearily at the pig he is dressed as. He holds two pairs of gloves in his hands, examining each and trying to make the decision of which pair would be better for destroying humans. In the end, he merely throws both in the basket and moves on.

INT. ZIM's LAB

ZIM's eye twitches in anger.

ZIM

Well, if he doesn't show soon, I'll just have to leave without him. So there.

COMPUTER
Uh... master. I have an urgent message.

ZIM (EXASPERATED)

Don't you always? I mean, what ever could it be?! I've only just been discovered as the alien I so am by the humans, and here you are suggesting there may be an urgent warning!!

COMPUTER

I didn't say anything about an... urgent warning.

ZIM (ANGRY)

WHAT IS IT??!

COMPUTER

There is an angry mob of the enemy forming outside of me. Help.

ZIM
A MOB?? OH NO! The Dib must have alerted the other humans!

A TV-like screen lowers from the ceiling and a newsman appears onscreen, standing right on ZIM's doorstep. ZIM screams.

ZIM
OKAY, okay, calm yourself, ZIM... Irkens do not PANICK! But what did attract the mob to suddenly agree with Dib?

EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE

People point at something on ZIM's roof. We pan up and see Skoodge and CHIPZ, out-of-disguise and dangling off of the shingles. Skoodge screams.

NEWSMAN

It appears that an alien is atop this house, which is said to be house of many alien creatures!

MAN IN MOB

ALIENS ROCK!

NEWSMAN

WHAT'LL WE DO???! YOU!

(he points to a random camera man)

SAVE US!

Dib rushes ahead to the front.

DIB

ONE SECOND! This is the house of many aliens! TWO! ZIM and SKOODGE being them! Who knows what they have in there? STILL! You NEED to broadcast this worldwide!

NEWSMAN

Hold on! Slow down, BOY! Why should we believe you?? YOU'RE DIB, THAT MAN WHO CONTINUALLY LIES ABOUT THIS VERY ALIEN We need some prove before before jumping to conclusions.

Dib stares. Then he points to Skoodge.

DIB

THERE! RIGHT... THERE! It's SKOODGE! He's an ALIEN! You said it yourself, TWO seconds ago!

NEWSMAN

Yeah, well... that was before YOU showed up.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE

HOLD UP, THERE! HE has witnesses!

The whole class is there, posing victoriously.

NEWSMAN

Well that's good enough for me. YOU!

(he points at the same random camera man)

SHOW THIS VIDEO ALL OVER THE WOOORLD! Mankind depends on it!

The camera man nods and looks at his laptop near. IMPOSSIBLE.

NEWSMAN (ON RECORDING)

This is home to ZIM, the alien. RUN, RUN!

MONTAGE:

The following events are that of people all over the world seeing the broadcast. A family of squirrels watches it from their home town of Tree, Mr. President watches it as he dances on his desk and a cop watches as a burglar steals from an old lady behind him. The last one is GIR, now groovin' through the electric aisle. He sees the TVs. He screams.

GIR

MY MASTER IS DOOMED! THEY FOUNDED HIM!

He scoops every CD around him into the basket before fleeing.

INT. ZIM's LAB - CO NTINUOUS

ZIM is furious. He is watching this message broadcast from many TVs around him.

ZIM

HOW IS THIS?? I WILL CERTAINLY NOT GIVE IN!

Then the roof quakes. He screams and grabs the purple floating moose.

ZIM

COMPUTER! CONTECT THE TALLEST! VOOT... RAISE!

EXT. THE MASSIVE

The Massive floats along, looking happy (?).

INT. THE MASSIVE

The Tallest groan as an alarm blares.

RED
Urgh... it's times like these I wish we could send some kind of electrical shock to Earth and... kill ZIM. I'm sick of him.

PURPLE

Yeah, or I wish we could not have calling thingies.

ZIM comes onscreen, panicked.

ZIM

MY TALLEST! REINFORCEMENTS! ZIM NEEDS THEM! AGETREEJEELUI!

He hangs up. The Tallest stare at another, confused.

RED

What he say?

INT. ZIM's LAB

The Voot is rising out of the house.

ZIM

Well, that should help.

On the surface, humans beat at his Voot. He screams and screams. Suddenly, more humans gather. Squirrels, too. They haul ZIM out of the Voot and away after the window breaks.

DIB (A MATTER OF FACT)

I told you I'd get you, ZIM.

He laughes evilly. ZIM struggles against the many humans.

ZIM
HEY, MOVE IT!

He disappears in the swarm. The image suddenly statics and bursts into flames.

INT. ZIM's LAB - PRESENT

GIR is beating on the helmet, which is on fire, laughing.

ZIM
GIR, DON'T!

GIR giggles and quits, but the helmet is dead.

ZIM
I NOW VOW TO NEVER ALLOW THIS TERRIBLE FUTURE TO COME TRUE! ZIM will NOT be defeated, and I just must watch what I do for twenty years carefully! MORE CAREFULLY! One wrong move and my future will be ruined... or saved.

TITLE OVER

TWENTY YEARS LATER

ZIM stands amongst the ruins of the destroyed world, laughing as the Irken flag blows on Earth near him.

THE END.