All that Matters

By: Eyes-of-Pearl

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Friday Night Lights belong to its respective owners

Synopsis & Author's Notes: 1st FNL fic ... but I couldn't resist. I have taken a lot of poetic license with this because I don't think we were given a lot of background info about the characters on the show. This is a scene from Episode 20 "Mud bowl" ... very minor changes to illustrate what were Matt Sacracen's thoughts after the Dillon win?

All That Matters

The crowd erupted in a fury of cheers. They paid no heed to the torrential downpour and its unrelentless onslaught. Each player's uniform was drenched with sweat, tears, grime and mud, but nobody complained. The Dillon Panthers were going to State, so who cares about a few jerseys that a couple gallons of liquid detergent wouldn't cleaned up.

He watched the commotion around him, smiling faces and congratulatory pats were readily given to the winners of this match. Off in the distance, he saw Smash with both arms raised in the air, exuding pride and triumph. He was whooping liked he was David who had just slain Goliath. Beside Dillon's running back, was Riggins who stalked purposefully by, cutting through the hoards of people coming at him. The fullback was in no mood for mind games tonight as he reached his destination, and rendered a certain blonde speechless with his impulsive kiss.

At this point, he himself turned away, not wanting to be a spectator of that particular display of affection. But even if he had wanted to escape, he wouldn't find any repose on this field. There was Coach Taylor with Mrs. Coach; she was smiling at something that her husband was whispering in her ear. For a moment, he felt a rush of jealousy, only for the feeling to be replaced with longing.

There were times that he, Matt Saracen, Dillon's unforseen QB-1 wondered what it was liked to be living with both parents, to be in the presence of so much loving. His mother, Monika Carmichael was a vivacious, energetic woman with idealistic inspirations. She had wonderful dreams when she married Henry Saracen, just after her senior year. She foresaw a few years of travelling with her husband while he established his career in the military; she could see the world before settling down. What she didn't count on was the fact that she became pregnant almost immediately. Her husband was away; she didn't want the responsibility of raising a child into the world when she herself, wasn't ready to settle down. She gladly left the child in the care of her mother-in-law. By the end of the year, she got her divorce and moved out of the state, never looking back. Matt was only three years old then.

Even at such a young age, he was already used to living with his grandma, who always had cookies on the ready. She was his biggest supporter when he ran mock football plays in the backyard. He didn't mind travelling from state-to-state with his dad so much, as long as he had his grandma and his 'lucky' football with him. By the time, he was twelve, they had already crossed the country twice, never staying long enough to make extended friendships. It was soon afterwards that they settled in Texas. Henry was given an out-of-country tour; Matt was enrolled into school at Dillon.

Now, he was in amongst all the screaming fans after a grueling semi-finals match. Despite all these people in this vast stretch of football field, Matt Saracen felt lonely. He couldn't shake the feeling as he tried taking several deep breaths, clutching his chest with one hand, while the other gripping his helmet.

In and out ... in and out ...

Closing his eyes briefly, he ran the mantra over and over in his mind. Then, just as suddenly, he heard his name penetrating through his psyche. It was a resonating sound that made him snapped his eyes opened. A flash of strawberry blond and he found himself tackled into the sodden earth.

"Oh Matt."

Julie. How could he forget about her? She didn't need to be impressed by his 'prowess' on the field, instead, she was touched because he sang to his grandma. There were things that he wished he could say to her, but she didn't need his gallantry. Instead, she took matters in her own hands and found him instead.

For a brief moment, when he pulled her head down for a kiss, he forgot ... about the void that his three year old self felt when his mother got her divorce and left for good. He could ignore the numbness that came whenever his father left on tours. Mostly, he could just barely convince himself that he wasn't really losing his grandma to something that he had no control over.

In a single ephemeral instant, all that mattered to him was this: "I'll always love you, no matter what happens."

The End