I slowly sit up in bed and look around at the dark room as everyone's breaths echo around the room. This is our last day sleeping here, together, in the same room. No longer the people we were when we arrived. I'm no longer the same girl who jumped from the building at the beginning of initiation. I had breathed a sigh of relief when I discovered that I made it. No one knows of my Divergence other than Tobias and Tori, as far as I know, and ever will, hopefully. I was so relieved I almost ran over to Four in front of every body. I had managed a glance in his direction without anyone noticing but him, which wasn't a surprise with everyone yelling and celebrating. I get up and pick up my clothes, which are neatly folded under my bed, before I run out of the dormitory and head into bathroom as quietly as possible even though half of them sleep like rocks and the other half are in a drunken slumber. I quickly change out of my night shirt and jogging pants and into my black v-neck and my black capris along with a pair of black boots then I put my hair up like my mother used to do for me before I spin around and leave heading to the Pit. Taking my time to look around now that I don't have to worry about training or someone throwing me into the Chasm when I'm not watching my back. Only a few people are up along with me and to my surprise the sun isn't even up to cast golden, orange light into the dark hole making me wonder what time it is exactly. I walk over to the black figures that talk simi-silently and smile when I recognize Uriah's voice. One of the Dauntless-born that I can't make out points at me and they all turn to look. "Hey guys." I wave as I come to a stop a few feet away from him. In the group is Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn.
"Hey Tris what are you doing up so early?" Uriah asks and I laugh.
"I almost didn't fall asleep last night apparently I can't stay asleep either." I offer and they all start to laugh and I join in with a warm smile pushing my lips up. "What time is it anyway?"
Lynn laughs before she smiles at me. "It should be about six by now."
I nod my head and look at the others before I look around the Pit. "Where's Four?"
Marline shares a look with Zeke before Zeke turns to me something new shinning in his eyes. "He should be up in his room." He states and I nod my head looking over my shoulder towards the hall that leads to Tobias' apartment.
"Hmm." I shake my head and turn to the others forcing a smile onto my face. I want to go see him, for him to hold me in his arms, but it would be to obvious if I walked off now, right after asking about him. "So do you guys know when they'll have breakfast ready?" I ask and Marline starts to laugh.
"Come one girl just go to him." She cries elbowing me in the ribs a little to hard.
"What do you mean?" I ask her and Lynn snorts rolling her eyes a smile plastered on her lips.
"We know the two of you are head over heels for each other and now that you are tecniclly not an initiate you to, bless your souls, can be together." Uriah points out and I feel my cheeks heat up.
"What... we don't... we're not..." I stutter completely at a loss for words.
"Oh Tris it was a little obvious for us. Four's been friends with us for two whole years never acting out of routine until you came. You should have seen his face when he saw your grey clothes. He never expected another Abnegation to transfer to Dauntless let alone be the first jumper." Marline states and my cheeks start to warm up a bit more. "To be honest that was amazing. You, a Stiff, had the guts to jump off the roof of a building without even knowing if there was something to break your fall. Not even Four was a first jumper!" She points out and I let out a forced laugh.
"So... are you okay with me... me and Four... you know?" I ask and they all start to laugh again.
Zeke walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "You make him happy Tris so we are happy for him. But know this. He's easy to hurt so be gentle with him."
I nod my head before I turn away from the two of them and start to head to Tobias' room as they start to talk again. I walk down the halls until I reach the silent hall leading to Tobias' room. As I head to his door I start to have second thoughts about seeing him now. What if he's still asleep? What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he has company? "Stop stalling and knock already." I mutter to myself. I raise my hand to knock but before my fist can make contact with the door it opens to reveal Tobias his hair glistening with water. We both freeze and just stare at each other but after a second I go to turn away but before I can take a step to leave he grabs my shoulder like he did in the simulation room.
I turn back to him and look up to meet his eyes. "What are you doing here?" He asks raising an eyebrow.
"I... um I wanted to see you before everyone else woke up." I offer nervously. Why does he make me so nervous? I ask myself but shake my head and wait for his reply.
All he does is smile down at me and move out of the way to let me into his apartment. Once I enter he closes the door. "What's really up?" He asks me his face creased with worry.
"Do you think they know?" I ask him my voice shaking.
His eyes darken and his whole body stiffens. "You're not dead so I don't think so."
I nod my head before I look around his apartment. Once my eyes land on his bed I feel myself blush. "So when do we choose our apartments?" I ask him and he walks over to the wall dividing the kitchen from his bedroom area.
"After you choose your job." He states blandly.
I nod my head thoughtfully before I look out the windows to my left to see the sun coming up over the city. "What do you think I would be good for?" I ask him turning to look at him after a second of silence.
"You're in first place which means you can have any job, even Dauntless leadership." He states sharply back to his instructor persona. He doesn't want me to be a Dauntless leader because I'll be near his father.
"Oh definitely not that job I was thinking initiate training or tattoo artist. What do you think?" I ask him and he clears his throat but it starts out sounding like a chuckle.
"I think you could do that but are you sure? I think you'll have to become a bit tougher to get the initiates to respect you." He offers and I turn to him and nod my head ignoring his comment.
"Yes I want to help other future Dauntless members but I also want to try and stop this new way of training. It's not working out well at all." I explain gently.
Tobias nods his head. "You're right but the only way you could change that is by becoming a Dauntless leader." He states stiffly.
I step up to him before I place my hands on his chest. When I look up into his eyes I can see his fear for me. I lift myself onto my tippy toes and press my lips to his. He barely has a chance to kiss back before I pull away and move my hands to his shoulders. "If I become Dauntless leader I'll be fine. It's not like I'm going to be left alone with him plus he doesn't even know I know you." I offer.
He lets out a sigh as he moves his hands to my waist. "It's just the thought of him near you. It scares me Tris." He admits and I feel my heart swell but at the same time I feel it break a little. "The thought of what could happen to you if some how he found out..."
"Hey." I move my right hand to his cheek and smile up at him. "I'll be fine. I'll have others around me to help if I need it, plus I have been trained by the best and I'm also sure that training can continue. Can't it?" I ask him earning a small smile.
"So you really want to be Dauntless leader?" He asks and I let out a sigh.
"I'm not sure." I admit and he takes my hand before he leads me to his bed then sits me down. He kneels down in front off me and stares into my eyes.
"What are you not sure about?" He asks.
"Is it worth it? Is being that close to your father, MY father, and Eric worth it?" I ask him my voice weak and low. I never wanted to admit it but Eric scares me. The way he watches me. Like I'm an animal that he can't wait to kill slowly and painfully.
"Whatever you want to do Tris, do it because you want to not because you feel like it's what everyone else needs or wants." He states as he wraps his arms around my waist.
I nod my head before I lay it on his chest to hear his heart beating a little fast than it should. "So I talked to Zeke and the others before I came here." I begin softly not bothering to pull away.
"Yeah?" I feel him look down at me.
"They know." I admit and I feel him tense up." But their happy... well as long as you are." I explain and I feel the tension leak out of him.
"They really say that?" He asks and I nod my head as I pull away from his chest.
"Yeah. They also warned me that you're easy to hurt and to be careful." I inform him. "But I sort of guessed that after what you showed me with your father." I look up at him to see his eyes are still a bit darker than usual but he hasn't tensed back up... yet.
He nods his head lightly as he stares down at me his eyes meeting mine. "I think we should head down don't need anyone getting suspicious."
I let out a laugh. "I bet the others are looking for me by now." I admit before I follow him to his front door.
"Most likely you better head to the dorms. But Tris... please be careful, just because everything is done with doesn't mean they'll stop coming after you." Tobias warns then he's gone walking down the hall after snapping his door shut behind us. As what he's just said flies around my head I head back to the dorms. Once I reach the doors I freeze and take a breathe before I walk in to see about half of the others are gone. As I look around I notice that Christina and Will aren't here. I turn around but out of the corner of my eye I catch Peter walking towards me. I quickly walk through the door and head towards the Pit. I cross the Chasm only sparing it a glance before I slow my pace and walk over to Zeke who now only stands with Uriah.
"Hey have you two seen Christina or Will?" I ask before I look over my shoulder to see Peter walking over the Chasm his eyes on me. I quickly look away and back to the boys to see them looking over at Peter as well.
Uriah looks back at me first. "No, but you can stay with us if he's bothering you." He offers and I shake my head.
Zeke looks back at me. "No he's not but... Four warned me that Peter still may try to do something even though everything is over with... well for the most part." The boys both nod their heads.
"Yeah there was one year where a Erudite girl made it through all initiation but she was harassed by a guy from Amity. About a week after everything was over with he caught her off guard one day and just shoved her off the bridge and she fell to her death, nothing anyone could do about it." Zeke explains sadly shaking his head.
"I remember that one. She was really nice being from Erudite." Uriah states. I look at Uriah with a questioning gaze and he lets out a sigh. "I would often run from home and sneak into the training rooms so I could see my brother train... the only one to notice me was Collette, the Erudite girl." He explains and I lay a hand on his shoulder to offer comfort. He smiles sadly up at me before he gently shrugs my hand off. I let my arm fall back to my side as I try not to be hurt.
"Did you tell him that we know?" Zeke asks and I see Uriah's eyes light up with interest.
I nod my head as I hum in agreement chewing on my lower lip. "What did he say?" Uriah asks as he looks around to make sure know one is close enough to hear what we are talking about.
I think back to our conversation and shake my head. "He really didn't react other than tensing up." I explain. "I think he was worried you guys wouldn't approve of us... you know." I offer as my cheeks warm up a bit.
Zeke nods his head. "That does sound a bit like him."
Uriah nudges me and I look behind me to see Eric walk out into the Chasm but his eyes drift over to me and I feel my heart pick up its pace as fear starts to rush through me. I turn back to see with pleading eyes. "Why don't we head in for breakfast." He offers and I nod my head quickly falling in between the two as I feel Eric's eyes remain on me as we walk off. Once we walking to the lunchroom I see Four sitting at our usual table. I look over at the others before we head over to the table and sit next to, or a cross from in Zeke and Uriah's case, from him.
"Good morning." I offer earning a small nod from Four. I look around at the few people who sit around without food in front of them.
"How you doing for?" Zeke as asks getting Four to begin talking. I turn to Uriah and begin to talk to him about Job choices and apartment ideas.
I hear the doors open and look up to see Eric walk in. I tense up a bit and quickly move my gaze away from him hoping not to gain his attention but out of the corner of my eye I see him begin to make his way over to us. I hear myself let out a soft, scared whimper but it's so low I don't think anybody else can hear it. I feel Four's hand brush my thigh before being placed on the table from his lap. He heard. I feel Eric slip into the empty seat next to me and I silently curse Christina and Will for not being here. I slowly look over at Eric to say hello then end all contact with him but when I turn to him the look in his eyes startles me. Lust. I tense up my eyes locked with his. I can't turn way and I can't seem to say a word. Suddenly I feel his hand wrap around my wrist gripping tightly causing fear to take control of my body. He smirks as me before letting go but his gaze never falters.
Faintly I hear someone say my name but I'm not sure if it's really or fake. "Tris!" Someone yells and I snap out of my trance.
I look around at the others before I get up. "E-excuse me." I mumble as I rush my way out almost bumping into every corner of every table. Even when I'm out of the lunch room I still run. I run all the way to the bathroom and dive for a toilet before I begin to throw up everything I eat the night before.
"Tris!" I hear someone call to me before I feel a hand begin to rub up and down my back soothing me a bit. When I pull back from the toilet I turn my head to see Christina. "Are you okay?" She asks and I nod my head.
"Y... yeah just felt a bit uneasy." I offer before I flush the toilet, walk over to the sing take a sip of water out of the foset, swish then spit. I turn back to Christina. "Where have you been?" I ask and her cheeks begin to burn up and she looks away. Suddenly I put two and two together and gasp. "Christina!"
She quickly launches forwards and covers my mouth. "Don't say anything." She hisses as she looks around.
When she removes her hand from my mouth I can't do anything but gawk at her. Her and Will. Will and her. "You... you... YOU_." I yell before she can cover my mouth.
"I said shush." She growls her face bright red. I take a deep breath before I nod my head and she removes her hand. "Yes we. did." she answer softly and I let out a laugh.
"Who knew you were Dauntless enough to do that?" I ask and she punches me in the arm.
"Yeah yeah." She offers before a serious look enters her eyes. "What was wrong with you. I followed you from the lunch room and you looked terrified. What happened?" She asks and I remember about Eric.
I shake my head. "N-n-nothing I just didn't feel good." I lie.
"Again you are a terrible liar." She points out and I nod my head as I look down. "What happened whatever it is it really freaked you out."
"Nothing... I don't want to talk about it." I state firmly before I walk around her to head out but she grabs my arm.
"Whatever is going on, when you're ready to tell me come find me, I promise I'll listen." I nod my head a little.
"I just... I don't want to think about it."