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TRIGGER Warning! There are mentions of self harm/sexual undertones in this fic!

Angst * Comfort

"Hey, Bakugou, have you seen y/n?"

"Why the fuck would I know where she is? Should I be keep'n tabs on your wife?"

"Well, no. I was wondering..." There was a small pause. "I haven't seen her since we clocked back in from patrol."

You could hear Izuku's voice coming from break room as you stood in the hallway. It was time to leave, but you still couldn't bring yourself to approach him. The hairs on your arms were standing on end, and you could feel goosebumps rise along your bare skin as you rubbed them in a battle against the chill of the roaring AC.

Your hero suit was neatly packed in to your bag, while you sported an ivory sundress, coupled with a set of pumps, and a rose gold necklace that Izuku bought for you. He had insisted on having a date night. It was a Friday, so the two of you had a short shift and the weekend off; a perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together.

Normally, you would have been overjoyed, but when he began explaining how special he wanted to make the occasion, you couldn't help but think of the underlying expectation. Naturally, you started avoiding him as much as one could their spouse.

Single word answers.

Feigning sleep before Izuku even had a chance to touch the covers.

And now, ducking around office corners in the hero agency you co-worked in.

You were being ridiculous, and you knew it.

Izuku had always been incredibly kind and patient with you.

He deserved so much better than the way you were treating him and you felt guilty.

When he proposed after dating for two years, you cried your eyes out. He was literally everything you could hope for in a man; kind, passionate, loyal, and patient...more so than you could imagine any man being. Yet, the two of you had been married for over a month and still hadn't had sex yet.

Prior to your engagement, Midoriya had insisted on courting the old-fashioned way, explaining how he could see a future with you and that he wanted to make sure that your bond with him was strong enough to withstand the flames of passion. Ever the empath, he'd been able to piece together your history without a single word on from your lips.

He saw past the smiles.

The exuberance with which you took down villains, as opposed to the way you shut down if a coworker brushed against you by mistake.

As much as you'd put your heart and soul into be becoming strong, a hero that could defend society's most vulnerable members, there was still one fear that had plagued you since childhood. One that you were too ashamed to speak aloud, though you managed to maneuver your whole life around it to this day; you were afraid of people, in general.

You were bullied throughout your childhood.

You just seemed to have a target on your back that said, "Mess with me."

It might not have helped that your quirk was fish-based. Nature blessed you with your great-grandfather's recessive genes, leaving your skin partially covered in scales. Your shoulders and hips, feet and hands were all covered. Where the Pro Hero Hawks had wings, you sported fins that got in the way of the outfits you wanted to wear. What bothered you the most, were the the scales on your cheeks. You imagined that underneath it all, you also had rosy, vibrant skin your mother was praised for. For the longest time, you believed your quirk held no use outside of baiting people into bullying you.

It started off as childish antics, like mean sticky notes attached to your back, and name calling..

"Tuna" or "Sushi" They would call you.

At times, you'd come back to homeroom after lunch, only to find fish bones or old sushi, rotting on your desk as your classmates joked, "Sorry for eating your parents, but they were delicious." It hurt, but you would laugh it off. Joining in with the jokes of your classmates just to avoid becoming an enemy of the whole school.

You rationed, things wouldn't get so bad as long as you could prove you were one of them...and so you would make fun of yourself too. That way it didn't hurt as much. And it was nice to think people were laughing with you, for once.

It made it easier to imagine you weren't alone.

But then they bit you, curious to see whether or not you actually tasted like a fish. At that point, there was no other choice but to fight. You did the best you could against 4 bigger, stronger junior high students. That was when you discovered your quirk wasn't mere aesthetics as they began clawing at their throats. One after the other, they fell unconscious with mortified expressions carved into their faces. You were fearful as well, but luckily a teacher was nearby who called for an ambulance and helped explain the situation to the cops.

The injuries were classified as self inflicted poisoning due to biting.

You went unpunished by the authorities, though they ordered you to see a doctor who helped reassess your quirk in the national registry to include poison. Willfully, you aided the hospital in producing an antidote for your quirk and the bullies were able to make a full recovery.

It was a relief, of course. You never wanted to harm anyone else. You just wanted them to accept you for the way you were, instead of treating you like a form of entertainment. All because of a quirk you never asked to be born with, that your parents would never understand, because you were the only one to inherit a recessive gene from your long deceased great-grandparent.

At one point, you started resenting that you were born with a quirk at all, and devoted your time to finding a way to change yourself just enough to fit into a society that wasn't catered toward you. Sure there were a wide range of quirks out there, but the further away your body was from the classic human form, the less people acknowledged you. Unless you were a Pro Hero, of course... and there was no way you'd ever be that strong so you resorted to picking at the scales of your arms until one actually popped off.

You were shocked, but intrigued.

It hurt like hell.

But in it's absence was skin.

Soft skin, like your mother's.

Like any other, normal girl.

It didn't bleed too much, as you found the scales were only attached to your body along it's edges. So you plucked another one, then another, and another until you saw in the mirror what you wanted everyone else to see.

That you were just a girl.

Like every other girl.

A girl that you hoped could be worth something and treated as much.

You were so captivated by your own reflection that you barely noticed your mother standing at the open bathroom door.

She was frantic as she screamed, demanding to know what you'd done. You only smiled, glad to see she noticed the change as well. And when you brushed your hair back to show her what you truly looked like, what you could have looked like, the scales had already grown back in. She looked relieved and you were distraught, frantically clawing at your face again to free yourself of what was wrong with you. You were convinced that you mother was just frightened because she'd never gotten to see your true face. You had hoped she'd be happy that underneath it all, you looked like her.

After that day, you had to meet with a therapist regularly until you acted normal again. Your mother tried to convince you that she loved you, exactly as you are, but you had a whole life full of watching her cling to your other siblings in public. When you brought it up, she denied it and continued with the same behavior of brushing you aside, even when you told her how it pained you.

That was the last time you ever talked about being hurt. You had one good friend in high school; a girl that was quite popular and admired. She didn't have your problems; People were kind to her; They wanted to be around her, because she was pretty. She didn't have a mutant-based quirk like you.

It used to bother you at first. All the looks of admiration she received, turned into disdain when eyes landed on you, but over the years, you proudly became water resistant, so to speak. Your tears dried up the first time you held your Hero license. You had dedicated yourself to becoming stronger after you accepted the fact that your scales would always be a part of you. It made all your struggles, all your heartbreak worth it, in the end.

You made it.

You proved everyone wrong.

The ones who looked at you as a misfit; Everyone who questioned your humanity.

You held the license that proved that you belonged in this world.

The license that proved that you were useful.

..you were needed.

..even if you were unwanted, at least until Izuku came along.

He was part of a rescue team ordered as back up for a mission gone wrong.

The agency had caught wind of suspicious activity at an abandoned warehouse near the city's limits. Your team was ordered to investigate, but things didn't go as planned.

Most of your own squad had been killed in the battle against a group of villains armed with quirk inhibitor guns. The drug was still fresh on the black market, at the time, so you were unprepared for the shock when your captain's carbon shield burst and left you open to attack. Despite the carnage, you were lucky enough to get captured. The villains wanted classified info on the hero agency you worked for, but you refused to talk. There's no way you'd betray the people who took you in as one of their own, who gave you a chance to show society just how crucial people with mutation quirks were.

It wasn't a surprise when they injected you with the same quirk inhibitor that took down your comrades. You didn't flinch as they began to taunt you, just like your old classmates in junior high. In the face of intimidation, you chose to remain unbothered because you'd known fear in your life, but fear would never be what you were known by.

So whether it be today or tomorrow you decided you'd die a hero...and not live as a coward who'd sold out their comrades. You grit your teeth as they resorted to torture methods as a means to pry words from your bruised lips. They were indeed cruel, but took it a step further, catering their malice toward the part of you that was beyond your own control. Piece by piece they laughed as they pried off your hero suit, exposing the intimate parts of you; parts that you had tried to runaway from.

Your scales laid open, melded into the skin of your hips, breasts and legs. All the while, a pair of masked villains poked and prodded at you teasingly, questioning the worth of your loyalty.

The leader of the group knelt over where they had you bound on the floor. His hand rested on the pipe you were tied to, using his other hand to stroke the scales on your cheek, almost affectionately.

When he removed his mask, you saw what you could have become.

Just another person with a mutation quirk, who allowed a flawed society to usher him into darkness. You knew all too well, the pain veiled behind his hardened reptilian eyes. You were sure he could see through your fixed expression too, but even more so, you wished he could see a sliver of hope through the Hero you had chosen to become.

You could imagine the type isolation, or torment that led to this moment. What had surely started as a misunderstanding, molded itself into hurt, then mutated into fear.

You had carried the same weight down a different path.

Now you stood at the edge of Light and shadow.

You weren't surprised at the olive branch the villain offered to you.

Join us, he said.

They laughed even harder after you, yet again, refused to sell out your teammates.

Your efforts as a hero would not be in vain...someday that quirk hierarchy would fold. Someday, people wouldn't need to resort villainy because they were ostracized; because others refused to acknowledge their humanity.

Scorned, the leader burned his offer of mercy. Leaving his underlings to deal with your defiance.

One had a cat quirk, and a sadistic streak toward those he labeled the government's lapdogs. He wielded his claws like knives, scaling you like an alaskan salmon. By the time Deku arrived, you were a whimpering bloody mess. It took him no time to subdue the villains, as the quirk inhibiting guns were no match for the speed of One For All.

And while his teammates assessed the damage, he tended to you. Not hesitating wrap your bloodied, naked body in the shirt of his Hero suit. He bandaged your wounds the best he could with the supplies he carried. You'd known that #1 Pro Hero Deku worked at the same agency as you, and it was something you secretly took pride in. You admired him from afar, never imagining the day would come when you would be the one he carried to safety.

However, admiration was overcome by shame when the clouds outside shifted causing one your torn scales to reflect light into Deku's eyes. Before you could move, curiosity took hold and Deku ran his fingers through the mound of scales strewn around your bare feet. They glistened in the sunlight that filtered through broken windows of the dusty warehouse.

To your horror, he even picked picked one up, twirling it between his fingers, eyes wide with wonder as the light danced within its shifting colors. You watched how his eyes glinted and his lips curled at the sight before him, and how his emerald orbs turned to sadness when they settled upon you.

You flinched because you knew the exact moment when he pieced together what happened; your raw skin, downcast eyes, and naked body... trembling, as you sat in a mound of bloodied scales like a pile of your own shame. If there was ever a time you didn't want to exist, it was now. The quirk inhibitor had prevented your scales from regenerating, and a small part of you hoped he wouldn't associate them with you. But he connected the dots.

He knew.

He saw you, and what you were.

And you didn't know if you were strong enough to withstand disgust if it was coming from his eyes. So you closed yours. You'd had enough of today anyway, and your head was hurting.

Everything was hurting ...and you were...tired.

It was just enough, for today.

You tried to shut him out even as you felt his strong arms wrap around you, rubbing some warmth into you, before lifting you up, to hold against his body.

You berated your imagination at the tightness of his embrace, because you knew that he knew. And how could he think much of you when you were born into bottom half of the quirk hierarchy. You'd enjoy the moment for what it would be; a fleeting memory of when the hero you admired saved you for the sake of the mission.

You didn't want to hear anything he could possibly say after seeing you in such a vulnerable state. Willing exhaustion to save you from whatever opinion he had of your quirk. In the end his words were simple, echoing into the dark recesses of your mind despite your closed eyes, and closed heart.

"I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner." He whispered, softly. "They were beautiful."

When Deku visited you in the hospital after, you were shocked, to say the least. With a handful of flowers he sheepishly walked into the room, apologizing profusely again about not saving you in time. You only told him how thankful you were that he did come in time enough to save your life. After which, the two of you talked for a while, joking about the latest Pro hero tabloids. A few hours had passed before you knew it and he hesitated before handing you a small decorated jar, giving you his number and insisting that you call if you needed anything.

Puzzled, you opened the jar after the door clicked shut behind him, tipping it over the white hospital sheets you rested under. Your heart nearly stopped as scales spilled pass the lid, like a thousand shimmering rainbows. You regretted never taking notice of how pretty they were until they were no longer attached to you, and your hand was either too sore or too slow to catch the vagabond tear that slid down your cheek.

You were forced to take a leave of absence, even after you were released from the hospital. The after effects of the quirk inhibitor were strong, but thankfully your body seemed to be returning back to normal slowly, but surely. The Hero agency was nice enough to grant you paid leave so you took the time to invest in self care. All the things you were too shy to do when your quirk was manifested, were now at the top of your to do list. A massage was priority, which turned out to be AMAZING, you even bought a sleeveless dress which you never would have worn because of the scales on your shoulders.

For a while you were happy, living the normal life you always wished for as a child. People smiled at you on the streets. Children didn't shy away from you as much.

It was both freeing and unsettling at the same time. How many of those people would show the same kindness when your mutation had fully healed itself? It made you anxious and weary of interacting with people again. You knew they weren't interacting with the true you. The one that was sure to return once the quirk inhibiting drug had run its full course through your body.

Who knew liberation could hold such a heavy burden?

At one point you didn't know who to trust anymore because empty words and compliments were coming from every direction.

Relief finally came in the from of a call from the agency. They wanted you to work a desk job as a temporary transition back into regular Hero work. Your mutation was halfway back to normal, and as expected, the few friends you made on leave were fading into obscurity the more your scales grew back to their former glory. You cried a little, because no matter how you tried to grow scales around your heart, you treasured your interactions with the few people you allowed to see it. It was for the best though, you realized.

The Hero agency assigned you to work under Deku, who, by this time had requested you call him by his first name. He had a ton of reports stacked up from all his past assignments, detailing collateral, reconnaissance and the likes. Happily, you obliged to aiding him. A small part of you still fan-girled over him. Plus, he was so sweet to you, even at a time you struggled being kind to yourself. He treated you like you had value, despite your unusual quirks.

Complimented them, even.

Everything about him was disarming. His aura was so bright, he shined from the inside, burning up every defense you built to protect your heart. It was a shock to everything you'd come to know in the world...

..and then he asked you out.

Half of you wanted to scream, the other half... wanted to jump out the window in fear.

You agreed to see him, but for the longest time, you kept Izuku at arms-length, believing his fawning over you had to be some sort of joke. The universe was mocking you; certainly someone was waiting around the corner to laugh at how stupid you were to believe that someone actually loved you. Because, sure, more than a few guys had wanted to be with you, if only to satisfy their curiosity...but no one had truly ever wanted to be with you. It didn't matter if the man was an aspiring hero or a lowly villian, they all treated you the same. More times that not, your desires, or feelings weren't relevant in the relationships you experienced. It only mattered that they got what they wanted from you, as if you were a means to their end. An exotic item to be toyed with, then discarded.

That and the constant bullying through your childhood reinforced the idea that that intimacy was to be avoided like the plague. At some point, loneliness had become your comfort... and Deku threatened the only safe haven you'd come to know.

You were terrified.

You promised to never allow yourself to be vulnerable again.

Not after the life you'd lived.

You didn't despise society, you just learned keep your heart off your sleeve and out of reach, giving the public just enough of you to ease their fears and give hope to others with mutation-based quirks...to let them know that they did belong in this world with everyone else.

It was better to keep people at at distance. You did your part to prove your worth. That's all you needed..and not for anyone to get too close you. Sure you could fight people. Hell, you could work with them as long as they stayed at arms length. Luckily, your quirk was perfect for keeping others at at distance.

It had kept everyone from getting close to you...except Izuku.

You'd been hurt.

He figured as much.

Over the time you dated, he'd learned how to interact with you in a way that made you feel safe. Izuku expressed that, though he'd love nothing more than to ravage you, he wouldn't allow himself to be the reason you shattered. Like a gentleman, he carried the relationship at pace that didn't have you stumbling. It worked out in your favor, considering your aversion to touch.

That didn't mean your relationship wasn't filled with affection and passion. He just, adjusted to expressing his desire for you in less threatening ways. Kisses to your hand, light touches on the small of your back, the way he looked at you with eyes sparkling in admiration. He handled you like the most precious thing he'd ever come in contact with, even at times when you felt like disposable waste.

You were so happy to marry him. Your heart just swelled, just remembering everything that led you to this day. You didn't want to hide anymore.

Least of all, from from Izuku.

"Oi, oi! Bother someone else about it, you damn nerd." Your heart jumped when Bakugou stomped out the Hero agency's break room and locked eyes with you before you had a chance to react. His red glare regarded you with annoyance, lids twitching ever so slightly in sync with the pulsing vein at his temple. He probably realized you had been eavesdropping on the conversation, and you could only imagine what thoughts were churning in that molten pool of a mind.

The man was literally a ticking time bomb and you dared not move a muscle, as if the slightest shift would trigger him in to drawing attention to your previous game of one-sided hide and seek.

"Oh, h-hey Bakugou..." your greeting barely rose above the roar of the AC, as you waved your hands, hoping to deter his wrath. Placing a finger over your lips didn't do much to shush him either.

"Well if it isn't the runaway bride.." The corners of Bakugou's sneer turned up mock amusement as he stomped toward you without any semblance of grace. The boots of his Ground Zero uniform demanded as much presence as a jack hammer. Assuming it was too late to run, you stood your ground, counting his footsteps as you prepared yourself for the worse case scenario.

Surprisingly, he didn't stop until he was a step past you, looking over his shoulder like his words were barely an afterthought. "As much as that nerd asks me about you, you'd think he was asking about my wife."

"Haha, no."

Actually, fuck no.

"Sorry bout that, he worries too much." You laughed politely, turning to look at him. As much as they were rivals, Bakugou didn't even compare to Midoriya in your eyes. Not that Katsuki was a bad guy, he was just...a bit too abrasive for your personality to mesh with. He was a good friend though, as much as he bickered, his dedication to having Midoriya's back on the field spoke what his words failed express.

"Make yourself available before he badgers me again," He crossed his arms over his chest. "I swear, if that damn nerd, asks me about you one more time-"

"You'll what? Snap him in half?" You could feel your own irritation growing. "I wasn't aware you held that kind of power. It would be useful on the field."

His threats lacked any real conviction, but they still irked the hell out of you. Midoriya never seemed to mind his overzealous aggression, but you did. You knew how Bakugou used to terrorize him as a child, Izuku had shared that much with you. Bakugou had been blessed with such n amazing quirk, and yet he used it to hurt the man you loved when he was at his most vulnerable ...when he was quirkless, without any hope of defending himself. Of course, a decade had passed since he was that little snot-nosed bully..

Despite everything, Midoriya had forgiven him; called him a brother, even.

It blew your mind.

You weren't sure if your husband's impassiveness was due to his naturally sweet nature or if he just grew an immunity to the loudmouth over the years. What you did know was that Deku, as Katsuki liked to call him, could snap him in half with one finger. But that didn't stop you from defending him.

"Oh, you wanna see power? I'll show you power!" You could see the spark in Bakugou's eyes flare up as little firecrackers danced on the tips of the fingers he raised toward you.

But you were already prepared.

You threw him the sweetest smile, one you knew would rot his teeth out because it radiated Deku. It radiated your Deku, and you knew it would kill him inside. Bakugou wasn't the only pro hero in the building. As timid as you were about intimacy, a fight was more your style. Bakugou was the third ranked hero under Midoriya and Shoto, but you weren't too far behind yourself. You've had your fare share of notorious villain takedowns and if he didn't watch his mouth, you'd be adding one pro hero to your steadily growing list.

"There you are!"

The both of you paused mid argument to turn toward the familiar voice.

"I-Izuku?"

There in all his glory stood Japan's #1 hero. His wild hair curled perfectly against alabaster skin and dark lashes. He wore a white button down, adorned with a black vest that accentuated his broad chest, topped off with a green pinstriped tie.

"Y/N-chan, you look..." Midoriya's bright green eyes took in the flow of embroidered fabric over the curves of your hips, shamelessly appreciating your form.

"Wow." was all he managed before turning to Katsuki who had ceased his rock-candy level sparks. "Thanks for finding her for me. You're a good friend."

Bakugou gagged on his own spit before starting down the hallway, clearly done with socializing.

You could vaguely hear the words, "Goddam nerd..." as your husband, came near to embrace you warmly, kissing your forehead as he watched his childhood friend round the corner and out of sight. His warm chest pushed into your smaller form as he breathed deeply. "Please don't do that. I'd rather not get fired for damaging company property."

You blushed at his reprimand, as his grip on you tightened.

Just how long had he known you were there?

"Sorry...sometimes he's just a bit," You struggled for words. "much."

A shiver ran down your spine as Midoriya brushed his nose along the skin of your shoulder and up your neck, until his lips rested against your ear.

"I know." He kissed the scales on your cheek. "But let me handle him."

You bit your lip as he pulled away from you. His large hands, caressing the length of your exposed arms, before he stepped back slightly and offered you his arm.

"Are you ready, my lady?" His eyes dazzled, rosette lips curled sheepishly as he looked away from you. As much as he'd matured, there were still a few cute habits he held on to. His heart was pure, and you were grateful to be the one he entrusted with it.

A few deep breaths, and you decided tonight would be one more chance be brave. He truly had something special planned. It was silly for you to have been so worried. Whatever the night held, you'd be safe no matter what, because Izuku was there with you.

Resting your hand on the crook of his arm, you smiled up at him. "Of course."

Because there wasn't anywhere else you'd rather be than with him.

This chapter was inspired by the chapter of MHA where we get to see some of spinner's backstory. It was a interesting topic, and I've wanted to write on a heavy subject matter. I hope I expressed it adequately. Feel free the let me know what you think.