'Twas The Night Of Wrestlemania
A/N: Not intended for humorless WWE fans. This is how I wanted Wrestlemania to go. I'm writing this at 2:56 am on Monday, April 2nd. You're probably thinking 'Shouldn't she know how Wrestlemania turned out?' NO. I don't know how it turned out. :( My parents wouldn't let me order 'cause it's 50 friggin' dollars. That's ridiculous. But alas. I have the internet.
OH WAIT.
I don't have access to that right now either because some drunk retard ran into our telephone pole with his car and knocked out our phone service. Having dial-up internet kinda requires a working phone, so DAMN IT. All this shit just HAD to happen on Wrestlemania night.
Hopefully, the guy in the car isn't banged up too bad. That'll just take all the fun out of hunting him down and shooting him in the head. .
Luckily, I'll find out on Raw tonight. What next? The DirecTV headquarters gonna explode? Crap, I probably just jinxed myself.
ANYWAY...This is a Christmas poem parody. :P What? It's April? Not Christmas? Damn, looks like I won't be getting a Barbie. :( (Not that I'm into that stuff or anything)
Summary: A poem about the WWE Superstars at Wrestlemania. Intended as a 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' parody.
!#$&()+
'Twas the night of Wrestlemania
And all through the arena
All the fans held up signs
And booed John Cena
The first match of the night
And things are getting stranger
Benoit defends his title
Against the purple Power Ranger
MVP didn't stand a chance
Once the Crippler Crossface was locked in
JBL got involved
But Benoit cock-blocked him
Second match, surprise surprise
Money in the Bank
I'm just glad Edge's STD is gone
He was really getting stank
So, Jeff ascends the ladder
And ends the match at last
But my favorite part was when the ladder
Was shoved up Randy's ass
Looks like it's ECW's time
New Breed versus Originals
I'll admit I don't watch ECW
Goes to look for Pringles
Time for the third match
It's Melina versus Ashley
In a Lumberjill match
That's lookin' to get nasty
Melina pulls out all the stops
But her moves are not enough
Her ass is passed around with ease
Like Johnny Nitro's nuts (Tehehe, Mercury!)
Fourth match of the evening
Is the battle of the monsters
Khali versus Kane
Good, I'm sick of seeing future porn stars
Just when it looked like
Kane was just too tired
He fought back with a victory
When Khali's green card expired
Time for Hair versus Hair
It's the battle of the Billionaires
I'm lying when I say I'm excited
Nobody really cares (Moving on)
It's 'Tista versus 'Taker
In a winner takes all
It was funny when Taker came out
I saw him fall
It's either broken win streak
Or lost title in this barbaric fight
The first idea is lost
When 'Taker stands tall tonight
It's main event time
Michaels versus Cena
The only person cheering for John
Is some huge guy named 'Little Tina'
The crowd gets into it
Their louder than a popcorn popper
Especially when the last man standing
Is HBK, the Showstoppa!!!!
A/N: LOLZ, that helped my foul mood slightly. Hopefully, if you're down, it helped you too.
Just remember! These are not accurate results of Wrestlemania. This is just how I would've liked for it to turn out. Any similarities between these results and the real ones are mere coincidence. I'm not psychic or anything.
YAY, I now know how Wrestlemania turned out!!! Awesome video package on Raw. Anyone know what that first song was? It sounded like Shinedown, but I'm not sure. And poor Kane. He's gonna be out for a while because of a knee injury :( (He didn't sustain the injury at Wrestlemania. He's had knee problems for a while now. He's just gonna take some time off.) Ciao!