Drabble #90: Death
Summary: He had thought he would be used to people dying.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. Characters and places belong to SquareEnix
The death of his father had been the first time he ever acknowledged death. But while his mother was grief-striken, Cloud didn't cry. Partly because he was too young to understand and also because he didn't actually remember his father. He had left for the army when Cloud was still a baby, age two at the oldest. He soon forgot about it and moved on.
The death of his mother had hit him hard. She had been the only one in his hometown who saw his worth, the one person who didn't ridicule him. Now, his idol had taken that from him. He had tried desperately to revive her when Zack carried her from the burning reckage of the house but it was no use. It was too late. He accepted there was nothing he could have done to save her.
Rightly so, Sephiroth had been the next experience. This time it was different though, because he was the culprit. It was his fault that his idol fell from the rails and into the burning Mako below. He had tried to tell himself it was only right. After all, the General had killed his mother, burnt his hometown to the ground and injured Zack and Tifa. Even though he didn't die, Cloud knew he wouldn't have been bothered if he had.
Zack's demise, however, was complicated. At the time, it hadn't affected him because he had been out cold, what could he have done? Yet, now when he looked back, he felt incredibly guilty for his friend's sacrifice. It shouldn't have happened and maybe if he hadn't been so weak, they could have reached Midgar together.
But by far, the worst experience of death was the murder of Aeris. He had stood there, too busy staring at her and bathing in the feel of relief at looking into her dazzling green eyes that he hadn't notcied Sephiroth strike until it was too late. He had stood there and met Sephiroth's eyes as the silver-haired swordsman smirked back in triumph. He had struck Cloud through the woman he loved and for that, he couldn't forgive himself. He should of made her stay in Midgar, or gone with her to the City of the Ancients. He should have pushed her out of the way, he should have told her he loved her. So many things he should have done and couldn't.
It was different from all the others. Aerith was precious to him, someone who saw him for who he truly was and still loved him. She was his friend and shouldn't have been caught up in his mess. She didn't deserve death. And he, Cloud Strife, had consciously stood and watched her die.
The memory would burn forever in his mind.