Held His Rose
By Elios
* * *
Dear Diary,
I hope you're actually worth something. Rei said I should keep a diary to record my feelings in.
Maybe she's right. I don't know. All I know is that I'll do anything anyone says now...
You see, I have loved a man and was born to love a man and have been loving a man for near
twenty-one centuries. That's two-thousand years, or two milleniums. The first time we were
separated by war, but this time we've just been lost through a few hundred years. But we're
together now, so why isn't he happy? What'd I do wrong? Why does he not love me anymore?
All of the sudden, for no obvious reason to my eyes, Mamo-chan has just... well, left me. It's
like one day we just ended our relationship... which, until now, seemed impossible. Highly
impossible. I really hope it is impossible. Rei says all couples go through troubles... while
the odds are against this one, I'll just listen to her for now. She would know more about it
than I ever would.
Sayanora!
Usagi-chan ^.~
* * *
Dear Diary,
Today didn't go well. At all.
Let me explain. Rei-chan calls. I pick up the phone and talk to her. I tell her I have my diary
when she offers to let me borrow one of hers, I also add that I have already made an entry.
Then we say bye and hang up. The phone rings instantly after that. Thinking it must be Rei who
forgot something, I answer and say, "Rei-chan?" The other end asks, "Usagi-chan? Is that you?"
It's Mamo-chan! I'm so excited. I say it is me and ask what he needs. He says he wants to talk
to Chibiusa-chan. Nani! I can't believe it! I ask him again who he wants to speak to and he
replies, "Chibiusa-chan, if you don't mind." That's rude. I ask him if he wants to talk to me
right now or after he speaks with Chibiusa. He says: "Usa/ko/- I mean, Usagi! Please, just let
me speak to Chibiusa!" I can't believe it! The nerve of him! The baka! I almost scream at him
right then and there but I hold my temper back and tell Chibiusa the phone's for her. Once she
has it, I hang up. Then I try to write in this diary with the new pen Ikuko-mama bought me,
but the tears smur the ink too much. So I tried to draw, but I couldn't do that either.
Eventually, I just waited, sobbing in my pillow, until Chibiusa was off the phone, and then
I called Rei. She didn't know what to do about it. I'm so stressed. Why, oh kami-sama, why me?
Yours truly,
Usagi...
* * *
Dear Diary,
Life is so cruel! For once, today, it has nothing to do with my dear Mamo-chan... but, rather,
something else.
Naru doesn't want to be my friend anymore! Today she wanted me to sit with her and Gurio at a
table, but I told her I couldn't today and maybe tomorrow, I didn't even remember tomorrow was
Saturday, but I don't know if that part offended her. This afternoon, after school, she came up
to me and said she didn't want to be my friend anymore if I didn't have time for her. Before I
got to say anything, though, she stormed off. What's even /worse/ is that my fellow Senshi
teased me about it! Can you believe the nerve of them? I tried calling Naru but her mom said
she's not in at the moment. Of course! Ara... Why /me/?
Take care,
Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
Maybe this diary isn't the right thing for me to do. Ever since I wrote in you I've been really
mad. No matter what. Maybe that's just natural... I told Rei, she doesn't know. She just says
lots of professionals reccomend it... Professional what's?
I haven't talked to Mamoru in a while. He hasn't wanted to talk to me. Whenever I ask Chibiusa
about him, she just says that it isn't my business to know when Mamoru won't tell it to my face.
Whatever she means by that... She's mature for her age at least, but quick to speak...
Well, I'm going to take a nap now. Maybe that'll help settle my troubles.
Sweet Dreams, to me, at least,
Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
I bet you're surprised to hear from me twice in a day, ne? ^.^;; I feel better already, notice
all the pretty drawings of mine along the sides of the pages? Hehe. Oh. Hai, I am happy. Why,
you ask?
Well, first, I talked to Naru about our friendship, and she said that she didn't mind it. Good
enough it was only one of those 24 hour things!
Second, I talked to Makoto about my relationship with Mamoru. You know how she's good with
those things, right? Well, she said that she personally thought it was just a phase, and since
Chibiusa was so much like me (I didn't agree with her fully on that part), that maybe by talking
to Chibiusa it was like talking to me... somehow that means our relationship will get better,
none the less, even if I didn't catch it. He.
The third thing I'm so happy about is that it seems like our enemy has refrained from attacking
for a while. This means that I have more time to sort out my life, as well as the other girls
their's, without being stressed over when the next attack is going to be and if it'll be the
last.
Anyways, so, I hope you've had a day as good as mine!
Ja ne!
Usagi - The Rabbit
* * *
Dear Diary,
Well, remember my last entry I posted two days ago? I guess I spoke WAY too soon...
That's just the irony of it all, I guess!
So, Naru is still doing fine, she may be worried about my constant disappearances, but we are
slowly healing, both of us. As for Mamoru... no luck. The other girls see how depressed
I am over it and they're starting to tell me "I know you'll pull through" or "It's just a phase"
and the like. But is it /really/ just a phase? I don't... I don't think so. Rei has been the
worse about it, though. She may have been nice enough to give me advice on starting a diary, but
she sure doesn't agree with me acting this way about it. She says I'm overreacting. Whatever
that means! I hate it when she uses big words to counter me.
Chibiusa has a growing vocabulary as well, if not a good one. Last night she was sent to her
room thrice for some 'words' she said... while she complains other people at her school say
those things, Ikuko-mama and especially Kenji-papa don't seem to agree with her.
Now, where was I?... Oh, yes. The enemy attack. It caught us off guard...
We were probably all having dinner when suddenly there was a small explosion and the news
flashed to show an attack nearby. We all made pathetic excuses to get out of the house, or, at
least, get away from the family, and when we did we transformed and moved off to do our work.
Did I mention we clogged up the communicator messaging lines, ruining the system? Luna and
Artemis made a big deal about that and how they'd have to access the Moon database to recover
the communications system. Oh well.
So, anyways, the enemy attacks! We're unprepared! It's almost like we've forgotten how to fight!
They nearly defeated us this time! But, of course, in the end, we prevailed... As usual.
Well, that's all for now...
Usagi
Once Usako, never forgotten...
* * *
Dear Diary,
I went to the library today. That's a first... of sorts. I've been searching for a way,
this past week, for me to express my feelings. Whether to Mamoru or not, I need to get this out
of me. I asked Rei and she said just give my diary to whoever I feel I need to express myself
with, but I told her I would never do that. Then I asked Ami. She said that the only other way
she could think would be through a poem, a song, or a book. I told her I didn't know how to
write anything like that! She said that I wouldn't need to write it; I could go to a library,
find a book that really symbolized my feelings, then give it to someone to read when I want
them to know how I feel, or how I felt. Just one problem- I wasn't about to read a book just so
I could give it to someone and say, "I felt like this last week." So Ami suggested a poem would
be best, and that they were quick to read and easy to find. Poems were easy to remember, too,
she said, and so whenever I feel like it I can recite it, rather than coming and checking it out
of the library all over again. I thought this sounded like a "decent" idea (do you like that
word? I do! I've heard Ami say it so much that I finally learned what it meant! Ami-chan says
that's good, so I guess I'm good for doing that, and, smart, perhaps?). So, I went to the
library! And guess what I found there? A poem! The poem! The perfect poem to describe how I
feel! I wouldn't be surprised if it was written just for me and Mamo-chan!.. I mean, Mamoru. I
still have the habbit of calling him that sometimes... but I'm trying not to. Not now, at
least. Anyways! Here's the poem!:
" I once knew of a paradise,
A world not seen by eyes...
This utopia of my dreams, however,
Could only be accessed via your kiss.
Just to feel your body, pressing against mine,
Our lips would touch and, oh!, that chill down my spine...
Immediate ecstacy!
But then our world caved in and you left,
I never saw your face again,
But the pleasure left no pain...
Your chocolate love,
Your roses picked from a winter garden,
But why? Why? Why did you leave? "
...
" But why? Why? Why did he leave?...
He surprised me day after day
With his everlasting love!
But how? But why? How could he leave?
We had so many dreams...
His fresh boquet,
The smell of the sweet of the rose,
But how? But why? How could he leave?
But for a moment... I can recall... remember!
That I... at least I... held his rose... "
-------- Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
Sorry I couldn't write any more after I wrote that poem for you. The communicator went off -
there was another attack. I hate these enemies... hate them! They make me look like a fool in
front of the other Senshi! I know I could beat them!.... If I just had a chance.
It seems like everything is just going down in my life.. I really shouldn't think this way,
though, so maybe this journal thing is a bad idea. I don't have much to talk about, so once I've
thought over everything that's happened recently I'll come back and write. Maybe. Who knows...
* * *
Dear Diary,
I didn't even write my signature on my last entry! I must have been really tired then... All I
remember right now is that I just fell asleep right after I finished writing that, and I slept
until night. Ikuko-mama hadn't wanted to wake me up, so she saved my dinner for me and heated it
up when I woke up. After finally getting my homework done with, I went back to sleep.
It's been a week since then. Lots of things have happened... I've been seeing Mamoru a lot more,
and yesterday he carried on a small conversation with me before I gave the phone to Chibiusa.
It's a good sign, I guess. Rei says it is; Makoto, too.
I'm still tired. Maybe I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. This enemy makes me so worn
out after a battle. Maybe I should just give up on this diary.
Sorry...
--Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
It's been a really long time since I last wrote in you. A lot of things have changed.
While me and Naru are getting closer, me and Mamoru are getting further away from each other,
not to mention all the arguments with the Senshi. I hate this. What's with it?
I think I'm addicted to writing in you. I tried to stop myself for the longest time, but
eventually I had to come back. Maybe you're really helping me, as Ami would say, "Contrary to
your original belief."
She says that a lot to scold me.
My teacher just asked us yesterday to do a report on a poem or book. I'm going to do a report on
the poem I wrote in you; it's not mine, of course, I guess I should say I copied it down in
you...
You know, that poem, called "Held His Rose"? I tried to tell my teacher about it without
reciting the lyrics (which I have forgotten), and she said it might be a famous haiku that lots
of liteature specialists reccomend. I told her I wasn't sure. What is a haiku, anyways? I guess
that's stupid of me to ask, but, seriously, I'm not sure if what I think it is is what it
is....
Well, I'd better be going, now. Ja ne!
--Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
It'll be hard, I say, for anyone to try to read what I am writing now. My tears are
ruining this ink, blotting and blurring all my words and marks, but that's all right. I don't
know if I want anyone to read this later on, anyways.
Mamoru has pushed it to the limit. Today I saw him at the mall and waved and said hello and did
everything loud enough and big enough to be sure he heard me... he even looked right at me! But
then he turned away, like he didn't even know me... I swear!
To Kami-sama and above! What's with my Mamo-chan? Why doesn't he love me? I swear!... That
Chibiusa-chan.. that devil... She must be with the enemy! I know it sounds stupid, of course,
"Usagi no baka!", but still... She's just so.. mysterious. We don't know anything about her...
And, ah! The perfect disguise! Maybe I should just see a psychologist. Maybe I should end it
all. I don't really like thoughts like these, but they just plague me... Yes, I do know that
word, so nyah.
I think about that poem more than ever now... it means so much to me... I think I understand it
unlike I did before...
Now I do understand it. And I can relate to it. Mamoru... Tuxedokamen-sama... I held his rose!
/His/ rose!
Mamoru... No, /my/ Mamo-chan! How... could you do this... to... to me?
Ara! Kami-sama! Why me? Explain, please, a sign! Why?...
...
I don't know what I must do. I just... I don't know. Mamoru... just Mamoru... he's all I think
about. But, as the poem phrases, if I never meet with Mamoru again, never feel his touch, never
feel his warmth, his love, my passion for him fades... IF any of the above /should/ happen...
then... Then at least I... I can.. I /have/... Have proof of his love...
Because I... held his rose.
--Tsukino Usagi.
* * *
Well! Hope you liked that. ^^;;
As you should've noticed, or I needed to point out, this takes place during the original
Japanese Sailormoon Romance anime (part 2 season 2) and this is when Usagi and Mamoru have their
thing. Forgive me if I broke some great law in this fic! It's my first, really! .;
Who to thank? Well, the author of the first fanfiction I ever read, which happens to be Jendra
and her Sailor Moon Universal/B series. I have graduated from that by now, though, let us
hope... o.o;
The most recent fics I have read include "Angst" by Emporess, found at ASMR's archives, also
there is Janelle Jimenez's (forgive me if I spell it wrong!) Sailormoon Millenia Trilogy, and
last but not least, my newest favorites, Jackie Chiang and Tim Nolan. I hope one day to be as
godly and [positively] well known as these authors are- they're my main inspiration. :D Ehem.
Let's cut the mushy stuff now.
I should thank DiC, really, and yes, I first saw the Sailor Moon dub, which then led me to
greater rewards, such as, hence, the Japanese/Original BSSM. In that case, I should thank Toei
for even creating the anime upon which this fanfiction is based, and that stems to Naoko
Takeuchi, and therefore I should be thanking Takeuchi Kenji and Takeuchi Ikuko, and their
parents, and... bah. It's late. I get carried away.
Probably not my best work, probably I'll do a lot better, but this is my first! Forgive me,
minna-san! Hee. Well. Okay. Eheh... heh... okay. Okay.
Now, about that pretty "Held His Rose" poem thing. As far as I know, there is no poem like
that or containing those lyrics, and I made it up for the sole purpose of my fanfiction. ^^;; I
admit it! That's why the lyrics are so bad! But that does not mean you can use it... So hands
off, okeh?
So, I hope this is good enough to at least get you to read my other fanfictions. Please, if you
don't like the way I did the journal entries, its either the fact that I tried to make it like
Usagi would write it our it was too poetic to capture Usagi's sense, therefore came out
mutilated. o.O; This could use some revising and editing, yes, but maybe I'll do that in the
years to come. For now, any comments, complaints, and suggestions should be sent to:
teitloff@earthlink.net
I just want to write a nice fic. I hope you all liked it, and please, send me any suggestions
you think could help me.
--
Elios -- Saturday, December 16th, 2000
Signing off estimated 11:10PM
By Elios
* * *
Dear Diary,
I hope you're actually worth something. Rei said I should keep a diary to record my feelings in.
Maybe she's right. I don't know. All I know is that I'll do anything anyone says now...
You see, I have loved a man and was born to love a man and have been loving a man for near
twenty-one centuries. That's two-thousand years, or two milleniums. The first time we were
separated by war, but this time we've just been lost through a few hundred years. But we're
together now, so why isn't he happy? What'd I do wrong? Why does he not love me anymore?
All of the sudden, for no obvious reason to my eyes, Mamo-chan has just... well, left me. It's
like one day we just ended our relationship... which, until now, seemed impossible. Highly
impossible. I really hope it is impossible. Rei says all couples go through troubles... while
the odds are against this one, I'll just listen to her for now. She would know more about it
than I ever would.
Sayanora!
Usagi-chan ^.~
* * *
Dear Diary,
Today didn't go well. At all.
Let me explain. Rei-chan calls. I pick up the phone and talk to her. I tell her I have my diary
when she offers to let me borrow one of hers, I also add that I have already made an entry.
Then we say bye and hang up. The phone rings instantly after that. Thinking it must be Rei who
forgot something, I answer and say, "Rei-chan?" The other end asks, "Usagi-chan? Is that you?"
It's Mamo-chan! I'm so excited. I say it is me and ask what he needs. He says he wants to talk
to Chibiusa-chan. Nani! I can't believe it! I ask him again who he wants to speak to and he
replies, "Chibiusa-chan, if you don't mind." That's rude. I ask him if he wants to talk to me
right now or after he speaks with Chibiusa. He says: "Usa/ko/- I mean, Usagi! Please, just let
me speak to Chibiusa!" I can't believe it! The nerve of him! The baka! I almost scream at him
right then and there but I hold my temper back and tell Chibiusa the phone's for her. Once she
has it, I hang up. Then I try to write in this diary with the new pen Ikuko-mama bought me,
but the tears smur the ink too much. So I tried to draw, but I couldn't do that either.
Eventually, I just waited, sobbing in my pillow, until Chibiusa was off the phone, and then
I called Rei. She didn't know what to do about it. I'm so stressed. Why, oh kami-sama, why me?
Yours truly,
Usagi...
* * *
Dear Diary,
Life is so cruel! For once, today, it has nothing to do with my dear Mamo-chan... but, rather,
something else.
Naru doesn't want to be my friend anymore! Today she wanted me to sit with her and Gurio at a
table, but I told her I couldn't today and maybe tomorrow, I didn't even remember tomorrow was
Saturday, but I don't know if that part offended her. This afternoon, after school, she came up
to me and said she didn't want to be my friend anymore if I didn't have time for her. Before I
got to say anything, though, she stormed off. What's even /worse/ is that my fellow Senshi
teased me about it! Can you believe the nerve of them? I tried calling Naru but her mom said
she's not in at the moment. Of course! Ara... Why /me/?
Take care,
Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
Maybe this diary isn't the right thing for me to do. Ever since I wrote in you I've been really
mad. No matter what. Maybe that's just natural... I told Rei, she doesn't know. She just says
lots of professionals reccomend it... Professional what's?
I haven't talked to Mamoru in a while. He hasn't wanted to talk to me. Whenever I ask Chibiusa
about him, she just says that it isn't my business to know when Mamoru won't tell it to my face.
Whatever she means by that... She's mature for her age at least, but quick to speak...
Well, I'm going to take a nap now. Maybe that'll help settle my troubles.
Sweet Dreams, to me, at least,
Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
I bet you're surprised to hear from me twice in a day, ne? ^.^;; I feel better already, notice
all the pretty drawings of mine along the sides of the pages? Hehe. Oh. Hai, I am happy. Why,
you ask?
Well, first, I talked to Naru about our friendship, and she said that she didn't mind it. Good
enough it was only one of those 24 hour things!
Second, I talked to Makoto about my relationship with Mamoru. You know how she's good with
those things, right? Well, she said that she personally thought it was just a phase, and since
Chibiusa was so much like me (I didn't agree with her fully on that part), that maybe by talking
to Chibiusa it was like talking to me... somehow that means our relationship will get better,
none the less, even if I didn't catch it. He.
The third thing I'm so happy about is that it seems like our enemy has refrained from attacking
for a while. This means that I have more time to sort out my life, as well as the other girls
their's, without being stressed over when the next attack is going to be and if it'll be the
last.
Anyways, so, I hope you've had a day as good as mine!
Ja ne!
Usagi - The Rabbit
* * *
Dear Diary,
Well, remember my last entry I posted two days ago? I guess I spoke WAY too soon...
That's just the irony of it all, I guess!
So, Naru is still doing fine, she may be worried about my constant disappearances, but we are
slowly healing, both of us. As for Mamoru... no luck. The other girls see how depressed
I am over it and they're starting to tell me "I know you'll pull through" or "It's just a phase"
and the like. But is it /really/ just a phase? I don't... I don't think so. Rei has been the
worse about it, though. She may have been nice enough to give me advice on starting a diary, but
she sure doesn't agree with me acting this way about it. She says I'm overreacting. Whatever
that means! I hate it when she uses big words to counter me.
Chibiusa has a growing vocabulary as well, if not a good one. Last night she was sent to her
room thrice for some 'words' she said... while she complains other people at her school say
those things, Ikuko-mama and especially Kenji-papa don't seem to agree with her.
Now, where was I?... Oh, yes. The enemy attack. It caught us off guard...
We were probably all having dinner when suddenly there was a small explosion and the news
flashed to show an attack nearby. We all made pathetic excuses to get out of the house, or, at
least, get away from the family, and when we did we transformed and moved off to do our work.
Did I mention we clogged up the communicator messaging lines, ruining the system? Luna and
Artemis made a big deal about that and how they'd have to access the Moon database to recover
the communications system. Oh well.
So, anyways, the enemy attacks! We're unprepared! It's almost like we've forgotten how to fight!
They nearly defeated us this time! But, of course, in the end, we prevailed... As usual.
Well, that's all for now...
Usagi
Once Usako, never forgotten...
* * *
Dear Diary,
I went to the library today. That's a first... of sorts. I've been searching for a way,
this past week, for me to express my feelings. Whether to Mamoru or not, I need to get this out
of me. I asked Rei and she said just give my diary to whoever I feel I need to express myself
with, but I told her I would never do that. Then I asked Ami. She said that the only other way
she could think would be through a poem, a song, or a book. I told her I didn't know how to
write anything like that! She said that I wouldn't need to write it; I could go to a library,
find a book that really symbolized my feelings, then give it to someone to read when I want
them to know how I feel, or how I felt. Just one problem- I wasn't about to read a book just so
I could give it to someone and say, "I felt like this last week." So Ami suggested a poem would
be best, and that they were quick to read and easy to find. Poems were easy to remember, too,
she said, and so whenever I feel like it I can recite it, rather than coming and checking it out
of the library all over again. I thought this sounded like a "decent" idea (do you like that
word? I do! I've heard Ami say it so much that I finally learned what it meant! Ami-chan says
that's good, so I guess I'm good for doing that, and, smart, perhaps?). So, I went to the
library! And guess what I found there? A poem! The poem! The perfect poem to describe how I
feel! I wouldn't be surprised if it was written just for me and Mamo-chan!.. I mean, Mamoru. I
still have the habbit of calling him that sometimes... but I'm trying not to. Not now, at
least. Anyways! Here's the poem!:
" I once knew of a paradise,
A world not seen by eyes...
This utopia of my dreams, however,
Could only be accessed via your kiss.
Just to feel your body, pressing against mine,
Our lips would touch and, oh!, that chill down my spine...
Immediate ecstacy!
But then our world caved in and you left,
I never saw your face again,
But the pleasure left no pain...
Your chocolate love,
Your roses picked from a winter garden,
But why? Why? Why did you leave? "
...
" But why? Why? Why did he leave?...
He surprised me day after day
With his everlasting love!
But how? But why? How could he leave?
We had so many dreams...
His fresh boquet,
The smell of the sweet of the rose,
But how? But why? How could he leave?
But for a moment... I can recall... remember!
That I... at least I... held his rose... "
-------- Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
Sorry I couldn't write any more after I wrote that poem for you. The communicator went off -
there was another attack. I hate these enemies... hate them! They make me look like a fool in
front of the other Senshi! I know I could beat them!.... If I just had a chance.
It seems like everything is just going down in my life.. I really shouldn't think this way,
though, so maybe this journal thing is a bad idea. I don't have much to talk about, so once I've
thought over everything that's happened recently I'll come back and write. Maybe. Who knows...
* * *
Dear Diary,
I didn't even write my signature on my last entry! I must have been really tired then... All I
remember right now is that I just fell asleep right after I finished writing that, and I slept
until night. Ikuko-mama hadn't wanted to wake me up, so she saved my dinner for me and heated it
up when I woke up. After finally getting my homework done with, I went back to sleep.
It's been a week since then. Lots of things have happened... I've been seeing Mamoru a lot more,
and yesterday he carried on a small conversation with me before I gave the phone to Chibiusa.
It's a good sign, I guess. Rei says it is; Makoto, too.
I'm still tired. Maybe I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. This enemy makes me so worn
out after a battle. Maybe I should just give up on this diary.
Sorry...
--Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
It's been a really long time since I last wrote in you. A lot of things have changed.
While me and Naru are getting closer, me and Mamoru are getting further away from each other,
not to mention all the arguments with the Senshi. I hate this. What's with it?
I think I'm addicted to writing in you. I tried to stop myself for the longest time, but
eventually I had to come back. Maybe you're really helping me, as Ami would say, "Contrary to
your original belief."
She says that a lot to scold me.
My teacher just asked us yesterday to do a report on a poem or book. I'm going to do a report on
the poem I wrote in you; it's not mine, of course, I guess I should say I copied it down in
you...
You know, that poem, called "Held His Rose"? I tried to tell my teacher about it without
reciting the lyrics (which I have forgotten), and she said it might be a famous haiku that lots
of liteature specialists reccomend. I told her I wasn't sure. What is a haiku, anyways? I guess
that's stupid of me to ask, but, seriously, I'm not sure if what I think it is is what it
is....
Well, I'd better be going, now. Ja ne!
--Usagi
* * *
Dear Diary,
It'll be hard, I say, for anyone to try to read what I am writing now. My tears are
ruining this ink, blotting and blurring all my words and marks, but that's all right. I don't
know if I want anyone to read this later on, anyways.
Mamoru has pushed it to the limit. Today I saw him at the mall and waved and said hello and did
everything loud enough and big enough to be sure he heard me... he even looked right at me! But
then he turned away, like he didn't even know me... I swear!
To Kami-sama and above! What's with my Mamo-chan? Why doesn't he love me? I swear!... That
Chibiusa-chan.. that devil... She must be with the enemy! I know it sounds stupid, of course,
"Usagi no baka!", but still... She's just so.. mysterious. We don't know anything about her...
And, ah! The perfect disguise! Maybe I should just see a psychologist. Maybe I should end it
all. I don't really like thoughts like these, but they just plague me... Yes, I do know that
word, so nyah.
I think about that poem more than ever now... it means so much to me... I think I understand it
unlike I did before...
Now I do understand it. And I can relate to it. Mamoru... Tuxedokamen-sama... I held his rose!
/His/ rose!
Mamoru... No, /my/ Mamo-chan! How... could you do this... to... to me?
Ara! Kami-sama! Why me? Explain, please, a sign! Why?...
...
I don't know what I must do. I just... I don't know. Mamoru... just Mamoru... he's all I think
about. But, as the poem phrases, if I never meet with Mamoru again, never feel his touch, never
feel his warmth, his love, my passion for him fades... IF any of the above /should/ happen...
then... Then at least I... I can.. I /have/... Have proof of his love...
Because I... held his rose.
--Tsukino Usagi.
* * *
Well! Hope you liked that. ^^;;
As you should've noticed, or I needed to point out, this takes place during the original
Japanese Sailormoon Romance anime (part 2 season 2) and this is when Usagi and Mamoru have their
thing. Forgive me if I broke some great law in this fic! It's my first, really! .;
Who to thank? Well, the author of the first fanfiction I ever read, which happens to be Jendra
and her Sailor Moon Universal/B series. I have graduated from that by now, though, let us
hope... o.o;
The most recent fics I have read include "Angst" by Emporess, found at ASMR's archives, also
there is Janelle Jimenez's (forgive me if I spell it wrong!) Sailormoon Millenia Trilogy, and
last but not least, my newest favorites, Jackie Chiang and Tim Nolan. I hope one day to be as
godly and [positively] well known as these authors are- they're my main inspiration. :D Ehem.
Let's cut the mushy stuff now.
I should thank DiC, really, and yes, I first saw the Sailor Moon dub, which then led me to
greater rewards, such as, hence, the Japanese/Original BSSM. In that case, I should thank Toei
for even creating the anime upon which this fanfiction is based, and that stems to Naoko
Takeuchi, and therefore I should be thanking Takeuchi Kenji and Takeuchi Ikuko, and their
parents, and... bah. It's late. I get carried away.
Probably not my best work, probably I'll do a lot better, but this is my first! Forgive me,
minna-san! Hee. Well. Okay. Eheh... heh... okay. Okay.
Now, about that pretty "Held His Rose" poem thing. As far as I know, there is no poem like
that or containing those lyrics, and I made it up for the sole purpose of my fanfiction. ^^;; I
admit it! That's why the lyrics are so bad! But that does not mean you can use it... So hands
off, okeh?
So, I hope this is good enough to at least get you to read my other fanfictions. Please, if you
don't like the way I did the journal entries, its either the fact that I tried to make it like
Usagi would write it our it was too poetic to capture Usagi's sense, therefore came out
mutilated. o.O; This could use some revising and editing, yes, but maybe I'll do that in the
years to come. For now, any comments, complaints, and suggestions should be sent to:
teitloff@earthlink.net
I just want to write a nice fic. I hope you all liked it, and please, send me any suggestions
you think could help me.
--
Elios -- Saturday, December 16th, 2000
Signing off estimated 11:10PM