Kismetology, a gilmore girls fanfic

Notes: I swore to myself a long time ago that I was never going to write Gilmore Girls because you just don't mess with perfection, especially when you have a handicap in pop culture and you know even your best A-game couldn't compete with ASP's wit and brilliance. But… well, thanks to Netflix rekindling my love affair with everything Gilmore, I was watching 6x22 'Partings' and that scene at Friday Night Dinner where Emily & Richard unveil the model for Rory's Astronomy Building:

"Is this the actual lettering? I mean—is this the scale? Because the lettering would be thirty feet high…"

"Well honey, it's the Astronomy building, you have to be able to see it from space."

… and well, this just kind of happened. I apologize, I couldn't stop it.

This story does not identify who Rory's husband is. I did that on purpose. I myself am a Rogan shipper, but this isn't a Rogan story, so I didn't want to impose my shipping on anybody and instead just let it be able to cater to anyone. There is implied JavaJunkie in this though, obviously, as the subject of the story is their kid.

This is dedicated to Edward Hermann, who unfortunately died of brain cancer three weeks ago. Thank you for all the wonderful acting and the many laughs in your tenure as Richard Gilmore, and may you rest in peace.

September 27th, 2025

"Ava!" The exclamation was shouted across the town square, its speaker jovial and playful—"Ava Gilmore-Danes, get your skinny ass over here so I can hug you."

A hand suddenly darted out of nowhere and roughly pulled him down by the cuff of his shirt sleeve into an inconspicuous row of neatly-trimmed hedges. He let out a roguish laugh, thoroughly amused by Ava's secretive behavior and quipped, "Alright, Spy Kid, I'm going to need a little more info here. Who are we wire-tapping? Are we freelancing for the Russians? Ooh, does that make us the Rosenburgs?" He scoffed, ran a hand through his neatly mussed hair and rebuffed his own statement; "Forget it, I'm far more dashing than that Julius bloke."

Ava hissed back at him in a voice so low and dangerous he almost flinched; "Steve, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm gonna tell Grandma Kim that you play pick up basketball games on Sundays instead of going to church."

"You wouldn't dare," he tested the waters apprehensively. Her heated glare told him all he needed to know.

He rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Seems mighty hypocritical for a Gilmore Girl to be telling someone else to stop ranting, but what can I say—I'm a people pleaser," he flashed her a cheeky grin.

Ava snorted; "You're a people schmoozer, Van Gerbig, and seriously—zip it."

"Fine, just one question—" he added in a more delicate tone, "What's with all the secrecy? Hiding behind tree hedges? Isn't this trespassing, we're technically on someone's property… isn't this the Harris' house?"

Ava raised an eyebrow. "Since when were you one to care about decorum and town rules? Have you suddenly become Taylor's protégé?"

"Valid point," he conceded; "But seriously, Ethel, fill a guy in here."

She sighed and pointed towards the gazebo a few yards in front of them where Rory Gilmore stood animatedly gesturing into her phone in what seemed like a rapid succession of dismissals and arguments. "She just got in from the city, without calling me first, I might add—which, well… when has she ever done that? Rory plans every visit months in advance, she didn't just decide to come on a whim." Her brows were narrowed in deep contemplation, analyzing Rory's body language with a scrutiny and a focus that made Steve chortle with amusement. Ava was truly one of a kind.

"Okay, I admit, that's a little odd, but I don't think it warrants hiding in the shadows and getting our creepy sleuth on."

"Why not?" Ava rebuffed flippantly, with a sly smile; "Little sisters always spy on their big sisters. It's practically in the rule book."

Steve's answering smile was crafty, "Does that still count when said sister is old enough to be your mother?" He refuted. At her dark glare, he amended, "Fine, but I still refute, Miss Danes. Your mother wrote the Gilmore Girls Code of Conduct, and she didn't have any siblings, and neither did your sister for all of her childhood, so I have to debunk the claim that there is anything written about sibling etiquette in the Gilmore rule book."

"Alright, fine," Ava begrudgingly allowed, "Not the Gilmore rule book, then. The… rule book of siblings, the rule book of life…" she trailed off, for once having her precious words fail her and Steve was smirking in self-satisfied glory; "Shove off, you're a goddamn tosser, you know that?"

"Tosser?" He probed in amusement; "You watching Masterpiece Theatre again?"

"Nope," she dismissed easily, "BBC World Newsroom… I got Dad to install Sirius XM Radio in his truck. He can't say no to these puppy dog eyes," she teased, flashing her bright hazel eyes at him jokingly.

"Ah, should've guessed."

"Yes, you should've," she teased light-heartedly, "Do you expect me to settle for Fox cable news and their political propaganda that's been turning millions of American's brains into silly putty for over a decade? Gag me."

"You're a strange girl," he remarked.

"You love it," she grinned.

"It's entertaining," he corrected, faking disinterest.

"It's endearing," she countered.

"You Gilmore Girls seem so down to earth on the surface, but allow me let you in on a little secret—you're all fucking egomaniacs."

"It's our fatal flaw," she admitted, a deadly serious expression on her face that quickly settled into an impish smile.

They both turned their direction back on Rory, who was still chattering heatedly into the phone. "Who do you think she's talking to?"

"She's talking to Mom, I heard the beginning of the phone call when I was walking by. I was just about to approach her when I heard my name and some underlying tension and decided that a little bit of snooping was in order. I find adding a little stealth to your day-to-day life can do wonders for your cognitive abilities—like…" she trailed off, her voice a beautiful lilt of amusement, "Lumosity without the ten bucks a month… or Wheaties without the gross healthiness."

"Y'know," Steve complained dejectedly, "because of this weird spy mission, I was denied a hug and a greeting by my favorite Gilmore Girl—damn Ava, one would think you didn't even miss me, I've been gone at school for three weeks. How is my favorite little astrologer doing these days? Care to tell me what immense fortunes lie in my future while Venus intersects with the Sun or however that shit works…"

Ava scoffed in annoyance; "That's astrology, dumbass, and it's all superfluous pseudo-science. I'm a legitimate astronomer, not a fortune telling astrology fraud, please."

"My sincerest apologies, Milady. I didn't mean to insult your religion," he teased unabashedly. "But honestly, where are your manners? You haven't asked me how I'm doing with anything; gosh, you're so self-absorbed," he poked fun at her.

Ava grinned, affecting her best Emily Gilmore impression, her eyes alight with mirth, "Oh my deepest apologies for my lack of etiquette, Steve darling, how is Middletown treating you these days? Has Wesleyan kicked you out for being a slacker yet?"

"I am not a slacker, you harpy," he admonished with a taunting grin.

Ava raised her arms in mock-surrender, "Of course, of course. You're just a lazy shit."

"I'm your favorite lazy shit," Steve supplied smugly.

"You're my only lazy shit," she corrected, sticking her tongue out at him. "I don't associate with slackers."

"You associate with Will," he reminded her.

Her lips curved into the beginnings of a smile, her tone serious but her humor light-hearted; she may talk a lot of smack about her brother, but she loved him more than life itself and everyone with half a brain knew it. "I am, unfortunately, related to the despicable being that is my twin brother, that doesn't count."

"Ha! I knew you talked trash about me behind my back, Aves!"

The new voice behind them startled them both so much that they jumped in synch. "Geez Will, give a girl a warning. Is that how you normally approach a girl? No wonder you're such a revulsion to the female species…"

"Hardy har, Ava, you're a regular stand-up act," her brother deadpanned, unamused. He leaned down so he too was obscured by the Harris' hedges; "What the hell are we doing squatted down in the Harris' rose-garden? I thought only Kirk did weird shit like this…"

"Did you know Rory was coming to town?" Ava asked, ignoring the question.

"Uh—no?"

"What the hell is she doing here, and why does it seem like such a secret?" Ava muttered under her breath, more to herself than either of the boys.

"We're spying on Rory, apparently," Steve explained to clear up Will's confusion.

"What?! Are you out of your mind, Ava? Spying on Rory… why exactly?"

"Not that it's any of your business what I do with my spare time," Ava bit back with a heavy bout of sarcasm, "But I heard her and Mom on the phone arguing about something, and my name was mentioned. I'm a curious person, not a stalker."

"Is there a difference?" Will probed cheekily. Steve laughed boisterously, but Ava did not find humor in any of this.

"I amend my earlier statement, you're both tossers."

"And you're not British, Aves."

"I have to be British to say 'tosser'? Why? Will the Queen come to Stars Hallow and smack me across the face with the crown jewels—is it a Harry Potter taboo type of situation? Will she be summoned by my non-British use of the word 'tosser' like in the Deathly Hallows when you said Voldemort?"

"You're crazy," he shook his head in disbelief.

"I prefer the term spirited."

"So do the nice people in the white coats who run the asylum," he shot back at her.

"Uh, guys—" Steve knew trying to get a word in during a rapid-fire discussion between two Gilmores was a dangerous sport, but he attempted it anyway—"A potential wrench being thrown into our spy mission, ten o'clock."

Before Ava could properly whip her head around back to the gazebo, she suddenly found her arms full of forty pounds of vivacious five-year old. "Ava!" The young girl cried in exuberance, her dark curls flopping in her eyes as she hugged the living stuffing out of her Aunt.

"Kenz!" Ava affectionately exclaimed in return, swooping the young girl into her arms and swinging her around in the air. "I didn't know you and your Mommy were coming today, you guys should've called. What would Great-Grandma Emily think of your atrocious manners, young lady?" She teased, putting the little girl back down.

"Att-ro-what? What does that mean?"

"It's just a fancy word for bad, Kenz," Will offered the young girl, "Don't mind Aves, she's studying for her PSATs."

"P-S-A-T's?" Kenzie asked, her face scrunched in confusion. "What are those?"

"Pretentious Smart-Alec Tests," Will quipped, and Steve roared with laughter, which only made Kenzie more confused. Ava whacked her brother hard in the shoulder, and he muttered an offended string of curse words too low for Kenzie to decipher as he nursed his swollen wound.

"You know I never wanted this for her, Mom, why do you think I never told her in the first place—" All of them froze as Rory's voice became clearer as she walked over to the group huddled around the Harris' rose-garden. "Alright, fine—I'll bring her, but I hope you know that you and Grandma have a hell of a lot more in common than you like to admit to."

Rory threw her head back in a laugh, a wry smile on her lips; "Hey now, don't blame me, you brought on the Adolf comparison all by yourself, and you'll just have to deal with the subsequent trauma, mother dearest, what with the puppet-master scheme you're so callously inflicting on your first-born child."

Rory rolled her eyes with a light-hearted smile on her face—"Yeah, sure—okay, whatever helps you sleep at night, Mom."

Rory took stock of the group of hooligans crowded down in the bushes with a skeptical eye-brow raise, and still laughing into the phone, remarked, "I've gotta go, Mom, I just found your two other children surreptitiously hiding behind some garden hedges in the Harris' backyard."

Rory sighed, "No, mother, I don't smell any pot on them."

Exasperated, she continued, "No, I would tell you if I did, and of course I'm not giving them pot—and since when has New York become a 'cesspool of sin'? You didn't seem to have any complaints the last time I took you to Broadway…"

"Since forever," Steve snickered under his breath.

"Alright, hanging up now—my impressionable five-year old daughter is hanging onto my every word. If she asks her father what pot is when we get back home, I'm directing all blame to you."

An impish smile crossed her face, "As per usual indeed. Goodbye, Mother who gave me glorious life."

As Rory hung up the phone, she narrowed her eyes at Ava in playful disappointment. "Ava, my darling little sister, don't for a second think I haven't noticed you crouched down behind these hedges since the moment I walked up to the gazebo."

Ava gaped at her, but Rory just smiled. "You may have stealth, little sister, but I have a much more powerful weapon—perception. I have excellent peripheral vision," she quipped sardonically.

Kenzie interrupted her mother with a beaming smile on her face, "Can I tell her the good news, Mommy? Can I, can I, please?!"

"Of course, sweetheart."

"We're gonna take a tour of Yale! To the… uh, 'Stronomy building or whatever."

Ava was stunned into silence. She had asked her mother about the possibility of this before, but she always weirdly and effectively skirted around the issue. "Are you actually serious?"

"I swear an oath on the integrity of every Oompa Loompa that ever lived, little sister," Rory grinned, enjoying Ava's wonderment. Yes, there were good reasons why she'd never offered this before, very good reasons, but she couldn't help but derive a lot of pleasure from witnessing her sister's excitement. Maybe this could go alright after all… perhaps… possibly…

"Oh my god," Ava breathed out in awe, tackling her older sister in elation. "How can I repay you?"

"Your Dad's coffee for the three days I'm here, on your dime," Rory proffered with a sly smile.

"Done."

"Alright, good—now c'mon, we've got to get going."

"Now?" Ava asked, stunned.

"No time like the present, is there? You're coming too, Will, and if you pout the whole way there, I won't show you the baseball fields." She smiled warmly at Steve, "You're welcome to join us too, if you don't have plans, but I think I heard from Lane you're in town because of a Grandma Kim summons, and well…"

Steve laughed, his eyes filled with joyous mirth, "And you don't just ignore a Grandma Kim summons; I wouldn't put it past her to have the authority to actually drag Jesus down from Heaven and berate me himself."

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Rory smiled.

"I'll see you Gilmore freaks later—bye guys, and sorry I squandered your sleuthing abilities, Aves. Next time, we'll have to convene beforehand," he winked at her. Ava's cheeks flushed a beautiful pink that evaporated quickly, but not before Rory could take stock of it and smirk at the sight.

"Why do I have to go?" Will complained, oblivious to the palpable tension that Steve had left in his wake.

"Buck up, soldier," Rory teased, "Or, as I said before, I won't show you the baseball fields."

"You hate sports, Ror," he dismissed quickly.

"Good to know you haven't forgotten everything about me, Willy," her eyes glistened with good-natured humor, "Now let's get going—you're lucky I even know where the baseball fields are."

Three hours later, they were all walking around the Yale campus, Rory leading the pack explaining random tidbits of information about campus history that Will would interject with a joke or a pun occasionally causing both Rory and Ava to roll their eyes. Kenzie was sitting on Ava's shoulders, her long dark curls bouncing behind her and her soft brown eyes taking in all of her surroundings with childish awe.

Ava was in a fit of hysterics, freaking out over whether she might say the wrong thing to someone and make herself look like an idiot, and whether Copernicus or Steven Hawking or Galileo were too run-of-the-mill responses for her astrological influences, and whether someone like Herschel or Bode would make her seem more knowledgeable or just more pretentious… and what if they… what if it wasn't…

"Alright, here we are—" Rory's voice held a lot of timid trepidation, and Ava had never known her confident sister to be so insecure, so she immediately tried to ask her what was wrong, until she glanced up at the heading on the building—

"Does that say—"

"Yes."

"But you've never—"

"I know."

"How on earth could you not tell me? Is this what you and Mom have been keeping from me all these years?" Ava practically screamed, her face beet-read with anger and embarrassment.

"Listen, I have an explanation for all of this, just let me—"

"It better be a damn good one!"

Rory sighed in resignation; she knew this would go over terribly. "Kenzie, hun, why don't you and Will go inside and Ava and I will meet you guys in there in a sec?" Will got his sister's hint quite quickly, and steered his little niece inside, glancing back at his sisters a few times before entering the building in a nervous anticipation.

"So… you said you had an explanation."

"Take a seat, Ava."

"I'd rather stand," she declared adamantly, as stubborn as ever.

"Please, Ava…" Rory said, and the desperation in her sister's voice made Ava soften a little bit—enough to sit down on the bench, anyway.

"This—" Rory gestured around to the Yale campus, "—is a window into a whole different world that you've only ever known very sporadically through your grandparents. It's a world of entitlement, where name recognition and bloodlines and how far back you can trace your ancestors matters more than merit or enthusiasm."

Rory's eyes held a worn, tired quality that Ava had never seen before. "I've had a lot more dealings in this world than I ever wanted or thought I would when I was a kid, and let me tell you, it's one hell of a brutal battle field, Aves. I always wanted to be recognized for my enthusiasm and my talent and not my last name, and I know you want to be the same way, but it's tough when you carry around that Gilmore name weight on your shoulders."

Ava was starting to understand the point, and she looked up at the foreboding 'Rory Gilmore Astronomy Building' lettering with a different viewpoint now.

Rory's voice was quiet when she continued. "What do you think is going to happen if you apply to this Astronomy program under the name Gilmore?"

"They're just going to give it to me regardless of my abilities…"

"Exactly," Rory admitted with a forlorn grimace on her face. "Look Aves, I didn't keep this from you 'cause I didn't want you to go to Yale. Of course I want you to go to Yale, it's my Alma Mater and nothing beats it, not even Harvard. But… I didn't know how to tell you that you'd be judged by your name and not your abilities because of some idiotic well-intentioned but extravagant gift by our grandparents twenty years ago. If I'd known this day would come, I would've fought it a lot harder. And trust me, I fought it pretty damn hard to begin with."

Ava gave a throaty little chuckle, just trying to imagine her modest sister's intense reaction to the extravagant show of superiority for all of Yale to see.

"I'm sorry, I judged what you did before I heard you explain it. I… I get it."

Rory's smile suddenly lit up, and she grabbed Ava's hand and pulled her up into a tight hug. "C'mon little sister, we've got an Astronomy building to tour with your name on it. Or, well… mine, but you get the point."

Ava grinned, all traces of the sullen atmosphere gone. "So what was Mom's reaction to this in the beginning?"

"I believe her exact words were, 'Relax, Rory—remember when you wanted a personalized license plate; so much better…'"

Ava giggled, and walked arm and arm with her sister through the double doors into the lobby where they met up with Will and Kenzie.

"How can I help you?" A bubbly, redheaded receptionist with bright blue eyes greeted them helpfully.

"We'd love it if we could take a tour of the facilities, please," Rory responded professionally, but politely.

"Sure, I just need your name."

Rory visibly faltered, "I'm sure that isn't necessary."

The girl seemed confused. "It's protocol, Ma'am."

"Rory Gilmore," she stated with her eyes locked on the girl, not wanting to see her reaction but also not willing to look away—she had more pride than that.

"Uhm… uh, seriously?" The girl sputtered. Then, realizing she looked like an idiot in front of the woman who owned the building, quickly responded with, "Right away, Mrs. Gilmore. I can get—I can get our Director himself to give you a personalized tour. Is there anything I can get you? Water, tea, coffee…" she prattled on, undeterred—or unaware—of the look of discomfort on Will and Ava's faces, or the resigned and sullen one on Rory's.

There wasn't many instances where Rory—or any Gilmore, really—would turn down the opportunity for coffee, but if there was ever a time, it was this one.

"We're fine, thank you for the offer though. We don't need a specialized tour guide, anyone will do. Maybe just a student who goes here, that'd be wonderful if possible."

"Of course, whatever you need Mrs. Gilmore. Just one moment." And with that, the receptionist scurried away quickly to retrieve the first student available she could lay her sights on.

And as Rory looked back at Ava with a knowing frown, Ava finally understood why Rory had kept this from her all these years. It was unnerving—she'd never seen anyone act that away around one of her family members, except maybe Emily's maids.

She sent Rory a reassuring smile that said in no uncertain terms that she completely understood and forgave her, while she internally wondered to herself whether omitting the Gilmore name on her application entirely and going by Danes was legal, and whether it would completely offend her grandparents.

Because no matter how mad she had been initially, Rory was right. This was overwhelming, scary, and it wasn't a world she ever wanted to be recognized in.

Notes: I'm running on such a high right now. I started writing at 5 am, it's now 8 am, and I don't think I stopped at all from start to finish except to get up and use the bathroom. I never knew writing Gilmore could be this easy and this fun. Why didn't I do this years ago? I'm kinda in love with this universe now, and I shamelessly ship Ava/Steve like no tomorrow. I'm thinking of expanding this universe, or really, just doing anything more in Gilmore now. Any suggestions, lovely readers? I'd love some direction if you think I'd be a worthy addition to the Gilmore writing world.

Thank you so much for reading, and please leave a review if you enjoyed or have comments, suggestions or constructive criticism. :)