Not a Lady
What does Austria do when his boss questions his masculinity? He calls Hungary mannish. Of course, he doesn't mean it.
Losing Spain to France in the War of the Spanish Succession had left Charles VI in a persistently bad temper. Austria braced himself for a scolding as he entered the emperor's rooms in the Hofburg palace, although he didn't remember any wrongdoing on his part.
'Austria', the Holy Roman emperor greeted him curtly. 'I am informed you neglect your military training in favour of playing the harpsichord. This is unacceptable. The military strength of the Archduchy of Austria might be significantly weakened, if you as the embodiment of my duchy continue neglecting your duties.'
Austria sighed inwardly. It was true, he preferred making music to fighting. This didn't mean he couldn't fight when it was necessary, but he knew there was no use arguing with Charles when he was in one of his moods.
'I am almost ashamed to say that Hungary, in spite of being a woman, fulfils her military duties with a significantly higher amount of diligence than you do', Charles continued. 'Therefore, I decided to schedule a training fight between yourself and her for this afternoon.'
Once again, Austria suppressed a sigh. He hated fighting against Hungary. For his liking, there had been too many fights between them already; the latest uprising of Hungarian noblemen against Habsburg rule had ended only a few years ago. What was more, he had always thought it awkward — un-courtly — to attack a lady, especially when it was a lady he secretly admired for her bravery.
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By the time Austria left the emperor's rooms, he was in a bad mood himself. Towards the end of the audience, Charles had blatantly called him 'effeminate' in comparison to Hungary. It was one of the terms he always took badly. Fine, he preferred art and music to fighting. Did this disqualify him as a man? No, it didn't. If Hungary was a good fighter, did that make her a man? It didn't either.
When he arrived at his place, Hungary was already waiting for him. 'Oh, Mr Austria, you are back!', she greeted him cheerfully. 'Have you already heard about the training fight we …'
'I did', Austria cut her off. This was bad. He was too angry. The rational part of his mind screamed at him when he said: 'It seems like Charles thinks I should take a lesson from the virago you are.'
He regretted his words the moment they left his mouth; more so when he saw the hurt in her eyes. She did the most sensible thing and turned away. He could have smacked his own face.
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When the fight started, hurt had turned into anger. Hungary attacked him fiercely, looking like an ancient goddess of vengeance in her uniform. Usually, Austria was not a bad fencer, but Hungary left him hardly any chance to attack. He parried some of her fast attacks, until she managed to wrench the rapier from his hand.
For her, the fight wasn't over at that. She pushed Austria back with the tip of her rapier, until he tripped and fell to the ground. Then, she kneeled above him, pointing at his throat with her weapon.
'Yes, I'm a better fighter than you are', she hissed, long brown hair tumbling on his chest. 'If you're calling me a virago anyway, I might as well prove …' Her voice trailed off.
Austria was staring at her with an expression of utter awe and admiration.
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Hungary was watching over Holy Rome and Italy's playing in the meadows when Austria sat down next to her in the grass. There were occasions when he worried about grass stains in his clothes, but this wasn't one of them.
'I … I'd like to apologise to you', he said.
Hungary called Holy Rome and Italy to her. 'How about playing hide and seek in the grove over there, you two?' She pointed to it; it was small and seemed safe enough for them. 'I'll join you later.'
Having sent the children away, Hungary turned to Austria. She wore her green maid's dress again, looking entirely different from the person who had defeated him in the early afternoon. 'It hurts to be called a virago', she said. 'Especially when you're the one doing it.'
'I'm sorry', Austria said. 'Truly sorry. I don't know why I said this. I don't even think you're a virago. It was just … Charles called me less masculine than you are. I was angry with him, and, somewhat irrationally, with you.'
'So he called you effeminate, and in turn, you called me a virago?' Hungary smiled. It was a bitter smile. 'Everyone thinks you're not male enough and I'm not female enough. The two of us would make a good match.'
'But they're wrong. You're a lady. You're beautiful.' Austria's cheeks started to burn. It was almost a confession, after all. 'I think you're just as beautiful when you fight as when you wear a dress.'
Hungary looked at him in surprise. A slight blush spread over her face. 'I don't think you're effeminate either. You just don't behave in the way other people want you to, that's all.'
Austria couldn't remember when their faces had started to move so close or who it was that bridged the distance first. All he knew was that Hungary's lips were soft and tasted of cherries.
'You're wrong about one thing, though', said Hungary, when their lips parted. There was a curious glint in her eyes. 'I'm not a lady.'
She pushed Austria into the grass, pressing their bodies together. After getting over his first surprise, Austria embraced her, pulling her even closer to him.
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When Italy asked Austria about the grass stains in their clothing later, he only mumbled something about 'fighting practice'.
—
Notes:
Charles VI (1685-1740) was, among other titles, Holy Roman Emperor, Archduke of Austria and, as Charles III, King of Hungary and Croatia. When he succeeded his brother Joseph I (1678-1711) after Joseph's death, his former claim to the Spanish throne during the War of the Spanish Succession (1701-1714) became obsolete, because England and France were unwilling to accept a joint Habsburg empire, extending over Austria and Spain. Charles issued the so-called Pragmatic Sanction of 1713, an edict allowing a daughter to become heir to the Habsburg hereditary possessions. Indeed, his daughter Maria Theresia (1717-1780) succeeded him in 1740. After Charles' death, however, Prussia, France, Bavaria, and Saxony refused to recognise the Pragmatic Sanction any longer, which lead to the War of the Austrian Succession (1740-1748). In the course of the war, Maria Theresia lost the wealthy (therefore 'vital') region of Silesia to Prussia, but, at the end of the war, her claim to the Archduchy of Austria and the Kingdom of Hungary was confirmed. (As far as my story is concerned, I don't think Charles actually meant what he told Austria either.)
The Hofburg palace in Vienna functioned as residence of the Habsburg family from the 13th century to 1918.
A harpsichord is a keyboard instrument invented in the late Middle Ages. When a player presses a key, a string gets plucked, producing its sound. The sound of a piano is produced by felted hammers striking the strings. The earliest forms of the so-called fortepiano were built around 1700, but the instrument was probably hardly known in the Holy Roman Empire before the end of the first quarter of the 18th century.
The 'latest uprising of Hungarian noblemen against Habsburg rule' was Rácóczi's War of Independence (1703-1711), led by Francis II Rákóczi (II. Rákóczi Ferenc, 1676-1735), who is considered a national hero in Hungary today.