A/N: So, umh, yeah. I'm so hellbound. Lol. This is to, hopefully, makeup for me not posting anything in a long ass time.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the Supernatural people. Namely Jensen and Jared.
Warnings: So many sexual references and bad language that it'll make your brain implode. Yeah, not explode- implode. Your brain is too cool to just splatter all over just anyone.
Reason number 1 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd hold up Jensen's wedding photo and ask Jared, "So when you two got married to each other…no sir I disagree…NO sir, I have proof right here!"
Reason number 2 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: Every time they touched like they do, I'd simply assume that was code for "Hey we're going to start doing stuff to each other you might want to touch yourself too."
Reason number 3 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: Asking him how many random girls Jensen got pregnant by just smiling at them might be awkward.
Reason number 4 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd have asked Jared how many times it took making love to get Jensen in a better mood after Sam died the first time.
Reason number 5 why I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: Asking Jared "Is Sam an angry shower-er and do you think we will ever see that on the show?" constantly might make him angry.
Reason number 6 why I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: "So do you think Sam and Dean give each other some alone time every day or so or is it a family affair?" is not the question to ask in front of other people.
Reason number 7 why I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd want to know if Dean has weapons and tools stashed on his body just in case. When he said yes I'd want him to show me all of them. Right then and there.
Reason number 8 why I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd have to ask if he works out his mouth to get it to look like that. When he said no, I'd ask him if he'd like to work it out.
Reason number 9 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd keep trying to book photo sessions with just Jensen's tongue.
Reason number 10 I'll be kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd ask how I could get a job as a microphone for the next convention.
Reason number 11 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd have yelled "Now do it naked!" when they whip around at the same time to see the big screen.
Reason number 12 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: "Is there a sex tape of you guys yet and if not why not? And if you have time I have a camera…"
Reason number 13 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: Yelling out, "How is it you've not kissed on screen yet?" would probably piss them off.
Reason number 14 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd ask them to drop their pants and get this "small thing" out of the way once and for all.
Reason number 15 why I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd just wait in line so I could ask him: "How are you so fucking perfect?" I'd do it until I got an answer.
Reason number 16 I'd get kicked out off a Supernatural convention: My first and only question would start with "As a well known couple in a homosexual relationship how do you feel about…HEY! Get your hands off me! I can ask…ATTICA! ATTICA!"
Reason number 17 I'd get kicked out a Supernatural convention: I'm pretty sure Jensen would get tired of me screaming "Lick it!" whenever he spoke into the microphone.
Reason number 18 I'll be kicked out of Supernatural conventions: I'd be in the back shouting "Move that fucking bottle from your crotch ya tease!"
Reason number 19 I'll be kicked out of Supernatural conventions: Every time they end up staring at each other without talking for so long I'd pop up with. "I have condoms and a video camera if you both wanna get it over with."
Reason number 20 I'll be kicked out of Supernatural conventions: I'd ask why the hell Jensen thought a SPOON would be the best thing to touch Jared's tongue during That Scene.
Reason number 21 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I would have been more willing to show them the ins and outs of Wincest. I would have had diagrams and everything.
Reason number 22 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd ask him if Jensen ever thought he missed his calling by not going into porn?
Reason number 23 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd ask what brand of eye condom contact lens they wear during these teary-eyed scenes.
Reason number 24 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd ask if I could pay extra to feel Jared's scruff.
Reason number 25 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I'd keep slipping Jared alcohol candies in hopes of getting him drunk.
Reason number 26 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: If he did this grin in real life I'd fall to the ground and cry out I was pregnant. Which would be weird cause I've never met him before this.
Reason number 27 I'd get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: I would make high-pitched, teapot like noises and then promptly explode, and I'm pretty sure they frown upon people literally spilling their guts all over the talent.
Reason number 28 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: "So did Jared carry you over the threshold on your honeymoon? Cause I'm not sure you'd be able to carry him."
Reason number 29 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: "Do you think that is the first time Dean had a red hand mark somewhere on his body? Can you show us where you'd think he got it?"
Reason number 30 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: "Are you guys sharing a hotel room and what number is it? Because I have most of the seventh floor wired for film and I haven't seen you guys yet so I was…um…never mind."
Reason number 31 I'll get kicked out of a Supernatural convention: Telling Jared that he never has to beg can be interpreted as "inappropriate".
Lol. I'm a little twisted.
Review?