Who Are YOU?
"So you see, Alice, contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic," said Jervis Tetch, beaming at the girl seated across from him in the visitor's room of Arkham Asylum. A thick panel of glass was between them, but Tetch heard her laugh loud and clear through the small hole at the bottom of it, and felt his heart soar at the radiance of her smile.
"Jervis, I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," she said, smiling at him.
He smiled back. "You don't need to, my dear. Alice doesn't need to understand all the madness I speak. It's just important that she's here, that she's not late…" He raised his hand to the glass and smiled tenderly at her. "Thank you for not being late, Alice."
"Time's up," snapped the guard suddenly, hauling Tetch to his feet.
"How rude," muttered Tetch, glaring at the guard in annoyance. "Alice, I'm afraid that Time has once again turned on me, and deceived me by making the minutes pass quicker than they should. He is a tricky fellow, after all. But I do hope he shall bring you to me again one day soon. Won't he, Alice?" he asked, gazing at her hopefully.
She smiled, rising from her seat. "Yes, Jervis, I promise he will," she said sincerely.
He sighed in relief, smiling. "Thank you," he breathed, reaching his hand through the hole in the glass. She put her hand in his, and he bent down to kiss it. "Thank you, child. Thank you, Alice," he kept repeating as the guard dragged him away.
Alice Pleasance gazed after him in a mixture of pity, sadness, and affection. She had been Jervis Tetch's secretary when he was sane and working for Wayne Enterprises. He had always been especially kind and considerate to her, and it touched her that a man as brilliant and intelligent as him would even notice her. She grew very fond of him, feeling for him as she would for a sweet, eccentric uncle or father. She hadn't realized his feelings were of a different nature until she had become engaged to her fiance, Billy Dodgson, and Tetch had lost his mind out of despair and love for her. The madness had driven him to desperate acts, kidnapping her and attempting to control her and Billy's minds. But after Batman had stopped him and confined him to the asylum, she visited him to try to understand why he had done what he had done. Talking to him, she realized that the sweet man she had come to care for was still in there, just dominated by insanity, which she couldn't help feeling responsible for. She was the focus of his madness, although she had never intended to be, but if there was anything she could do to help undo the damage she had done, she had determined to do it. Jervis Tetch was a good man at heart, she knew it. He just needed a friend. She wanted to be that friend.
"Miss Pleasance?" said a voice, startling her from her thoughts. She turned to see Dr. Leland, head doctor of the asylum, standing behind her. "Can I have a word with you in my office?" she asked gently.
"Oh…sure, Dr. Leland," said Alice. "Billy's working late tonight, so I have time. I just need to make sure I'm back before he gets home…I haven't told him about my visits. I don't think he'd be particularly understanding."
"No, it's a difficult situation," agreed Dr. Leland, gesturing her inside the office and shutting the door. "But I just wanted to personally thank you for visiting him. You don't have to, you know. But his therapy is progressing rapidly lately, and I can't help but think it's because of you."
Alice felt herself blushing slightly. "I don't do anything, Dr. Leland…I just listen to him."
"I think that's precisely what he needs," said Dr. Leland. "Someone to listen to him. Someone he cares about. Someone who inspires him to…get better."
"Can I ask…what exactly is wrong with him, Dr. Leland?" she said slowly. "I'm not a doctor so I won't be able to understand all the technical stuff, but if you can simplify it a little…"
Dr. Leland laughed. "Mr. Tetch isn't what I would call a simple man. He has an incredibly complicated and brilliant mind, and there are several things I haven't been able to diagnose about him. I can tell you he has an obsessive personality. It latches onto things, ideas, people, and doesn't let go. His Alice in Wonderland obsession is one of his longest and most enduring. Even when he was considered sane, he had a fixation on the characters and situations in the book. When his mind snapped, he stopped being able to tell the difference between fiction and reality, believing himself to actually be the Mad Hatter, and you to be Alice. It's not an uncommon occurrence among the insane – they see what they want to see, and are who they want to be. In a way I envy them for that. It must save a lot of self-doubt and uncertainty."
"So am I just indulging this delusion of his?" asked Alice. "That doesn't sound very helpful."
"Ordinarily it wouldn't be," agreed Dr. Leland. "But as I said, Jervis has a very unique mind and a very specific delusion. And it is not particularly harmful – there is nothing in the Alice books that puts you and him in any sort of romantic or violent relationship, so there is no danger of him trying to complete the delusion by hurting you in any way. I think his delusion is primarily driven by loneliness, and the fear of losing people he cares about, and who seem to care about him. You were one of the few people in his life who did, and does. He's so obsessed with keeping you as you are, of you not marrying anyone, because he's afraid that with change, you will change towards him. Literary analysts read the Alice books as a story about the loss of childhood and innocence. I think he's afraid that if you lose your innocence, as he sees it, and grow up, that he will have no purpose. He will cease to be. For if the story is all a dream in Alice's head, the Mad Hatter cannot exist without her. That's what he's afraid of, Miss Pleasance. Of being unable to exist without you."
"But that's nonsense," said Alice. "Surely he must see that's nonsense?"
Dr. Leland smiled sadly. "I'm afraid Jervis isn't particularly skilled at distinguishing sense from nonsense. One of the sad effects of his delusion. But he is an incredibly intelligent and determined man. I think if he thought you wanted him cured, he would cure himself for you."
"I do want that," replied Alice, sincerely. "I don't want to have to keep sneaking around like this – I want him to be rehabilitated so I can see him like any other friend, and maybe he can visit us. Maybe if he gets to know Billy, he would be happier about our marriage. I don't want to stand at the altar on my wedding day remembering I've broken a man's mind as well as his heart. I just want him to get better."
Dr. Leland took her hand. "Tell him that," she murmured. "Next time you visit. He will listen to you, even if he won't to anyone else. He does love you, you know."
"Yes," murmured Alice. "Yes, I know." She looked up at her. "He is a good man, isn't he? He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just…confused."
Dr. Leland nodded. "I like him very much," she said. "He's generally very sweet and gentle and well behaved, and one of the more humane lunatics I have to deal with. But then compared to the Joker, anyone is."
"Yeah, I guess," agreed Alice, forcing a smile. "Well…thank you, Dr. Leland," she said, standing up. "I will talk to him."
She drove to Billy's, considering what she would say to Jervis the next time she saw him. She would have to phrase it right – he might think the doctors were setting her up or something. But she had meant it when she had said she wanted to help him. She felt sorry for him, and she did still care about him, in that fatherly-uncle sort of way. She didn't have the heart to give up on him.
She opened the door to Billy's apartment and went inside. "Where you been?" demanded his voice, making her jump. She turned to see him emerging from the kitchen, arms folded across his chest.
"Oh…you're back," she stammered. "I thought you were working late tonight…"
"I was. Plans change," he retorted, eyeing her suspiciously. "Where you been?" he repeated. "I thought dinner would be waiting for me when I got home."
"I was just…visiting a friend," said Alice, slowly.
"What friend?" he demanded.
"Jenny," she retorted.
"Oh, right. Well, in that case, I'll just give Jenny a call," he said, reaching for the phone. "Wanted to invite her and Matt out for a meal next week anyway…"
"Billy, don't," said Alice, grabbing the phone from him.
"So you ain't been to see Jenny," he snapped, growing angrier. "I'll ask you one more time. Where you been?"
Alice sighed heavily. "I've been to Arkham Asylum," she muttered.
"Yeah? What were you doing in a place like that?" asked Billy. "There's a lotta dangerous psychos there, Alice. You could end up getting hurt if there was a breakout or something."
"I told you. I was visiting a friend," she retorted.
"What friend have you got in the looney bin?" he asked.
Alice stared at the floor and then looked up at him. "I was visiting Mr. Tetch," she said quietly.
"You were…what?" stammered Billy, stunned. "Why…why would you do that, Alice? Why would you encourage that sick freak's obsession with…"
"He's not a sick freak, Billy!" interrupted Alice, angrily. "He's a nice guy…"
"Nice?" repeated Billy, in a mixture of incredulity and fury. "He kidnapped you! He tried to kill me!"
"He wasn't trying to kill you – he was just trying to get you out of the way," snapped Alice. "He's confused about…a lotta things. But he's a good man at heart, Billy…"
"Alice, I think you spent too long in the looney bin, because I think you're starting to go crazy yourself," snapped Billy. "That sick, disgusting, perverted little creep…"
"I said don't talk about him like that!" shouted Alice.
He stared at her. "This ain't the first time you've visited him, is it?" he asked quietly.
She shook her head. "No, and it ain't gonna be the last! He needs me, Billy, he needs me to help cure him…"
"Is that what he told you?" demanded Billy. "And you fell for it? C'mon, Alice, you ain't dumb! Think for a second about what he wants from you…"
"He ain't like that!" she shouted. "He ain't after anything from me – he's just lonely! He needs a friend, Billy! And he was my friend, long before you came into the picture!"
"You saying you don't want me in the picture no more?!" shouted Billy, furiously. "You saying you wanna marry the sick freak instead of me?!"
"I'm saying I want to help him get better!" shrieked Alice. "And if you ain't gonna support me in that, then I don't wanna see you until you can grow up enough not be jealous of him! You should trust me, Billy!"
"How can I trust you when you sneak off to places like Arkham Asylum without telling me?!" he shouted.
"Because I knew you wouldn't understand!" she yelled. "Just like you never try to understand anything or anyone who's even a little different!"
"At least I ain't crazy, Alice!" he yelled. "But if that's who you'd rather be with, you be my guest! Go back to the asylum and ask them to get a padded cell ready for you, right next to your boyfriend's! You two can have tea parties for the rest of your life and live happily ever after together in Wonderland!"
Alice knew it was no good talking to him like this, and she wasn't willing to fight with him right now. Without another word, she stormed from the apartment, getting into her car and driving off. Several minutes later, her phone rang. It was Billy, but she ignored it. He probably wanted to apologize, but she wasn't in the mood for an apology right now. She just wanted to go home to her own place and be alone for a little while. Maybe take a bath, have a glass of wine, relax, and think about things. Think about what she would say to Jervis the next time she saw him.
It was going to be sooner than she thought.