Sometimes, you must make decisions. No, I'm not talking about the decisions about what kind of Ben & Jerry's ice cream to dip you cookies into. No, I'm talking about bigger decisions; decisions that could change the course of your life, and send it spiraling into the black abyss that is humanity. Sometimes, the decisions you make could alter your future and hurt others around you as well. So, as the decision I was about to make could very well do just that, I had decided to take some precautions.
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It was my thirteenth birthday. The day all of my family and friends should have celebrated in the event that I was now, a teenager. And of course, celebration in Abnegation was almost mandatory; considering that it was an act of true selflessness. it was a time of giving; a time of appreciating all that the person had to survive. Of course, that, as the Abnegation leaders had said. Some of us though, thought that Abnegation was a place where you didn't have to try to survive; you just... did. Therefor, attempting to appreciate something that, in fact, did not need to be appreciated was an act of selfishness.
Though, it would have been a celebratory day if we had actually celebrated my birthday.
Instead, my whole family had to watch in horror as my brother, my brother, drip his blood onto the lit coals. Steaming and sizzling. Evaporating into the air as the whole auditorium screamed his name in vengeance, anger, regret, torture. Love. Misery. To watch as the first transfer sit down in the rusty, black chair that lacked everything that I used to hold in my self. And I stood, as he stared at me with his large dark brown eyes, the same ones that had seen me week, small, alone. The same ones that have seen so much pain; so much torture. I had known too, that he had chosen wrong. He had known that he had chosen wrong. He wanted so much power, so much glory, but he never got it, never strived so much as to work for it. He did not know what he wanted to become, yet he knew so much. Little did I know that he would become so powerful, so glorious...
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My eyes trained silently between my options. The Amity bowl full of earth; The Erudite bowl with water; The empty Candor bowl; The dark gray stones for Abnegation; And the dreadful coals of Dauntless, lit with propane. My body shivered at the thought of what happened three years ago. No. You must let this go. You are thinking in the past; you must live in the Future.
I closed my eyes and nodded my head slightly. Noticing I had been at the podium for a meer ten seconds, and realizing my parents, and brother, were probably thinking over all the options I may choose, I stepped towards my three choices. Breaths were taken, eyes closed and opened, and I stood so still, I could've been dead. Now, this feeling that I felt before making my life-changing decision, could have been categorized as fear, angst, stress, but it really wasn't any of those. The feeling, was the fear of the unknown, as you might feel when you open a present at Christmas time, or when getting picked for gift exchanges. But, this, this, was a fear, and not only could I feel it, but every single individual in the auditorium could feel the tension. The tension that what happened three years today, was going to happen once more. Because never had there been an Abnegation transfer to Dauntless, and no one ever thought it would happen again. But, as my blood dripped and simmered on the coals, as my blood evaporated into the porous air, and as everyone in the auditorium screamed my name, there were no regrets. I was ready. I had made the right choice, unlike my brother. And as I walked to the black torn chair, all that swam in my mind was my name, that was not being screamed for vengeance, or anger, or regret; but was being screamed for hopefulness. Something my brother never had. Something a true Dauntless solider is destined to have.
To-bi-as
To-bi-as
To-bi-as
Punch
Punchpunch
Punchpunchpunch
PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUN- BOOM
The ratty old punching bag flew straight across the room, smacking against the now quite obvious dent in the navy blew wall. This had become a quite normal scheduale for me. Punching a bag until I go unconscious of what I'm doing, slipping in and out of the past until it becomes so clear to me of what had happened that I loose all control.
And end up punching the bag into the wall.
Spending time in the Dauntless training center usually makes up most of my days. Punching the bags, throwing knifes, anything that will get my mind of the things that have happened. Most of the time though, when I can't escape the pain, I sit on the edge of the fight mat, put my head in my hands, and think. Think about my decision. Think about my brother. Think about life.
Think about the new recruits that are supposed to jump in a few minutes.
I pick up my things (and the many punching bags hidden in the wall) and hurry past the Pit, into the hallway that leads to the Net. Never had I noticed, but the names Dauntless gives to places are really obvious. Like naming a duck Quackles, or something.
Right on time, I see the many Dauntless crowding the Net in order to see the first jumper. I was pushed to the front, since I was on Transfer duty this year. Really, I hadn't chosen to be on Transfer duty, the Dauntless leaders had chosen the job for me, saying something like 'You'll be good with kids , Four.'. It wasn't funny how they considered sixteen-year-olds kids, as half of them were eighteen or even seventeen. But ,being the Dauntless initiatives the were, I couldn't shirk a duty to them. Shirking on your duty in Dauntless could make you probably the most annoying delinquent there is.
"You want us to jump off a ledge?"
"Yes"
"..."
"Is there water at the bottom or something?"
"Who knows?"
Parts of a conversation drift down from the top of our entrance building. My guess was that Max was scaring all the initiates. Again. As the conversing subsided, what sounded like twenty pairs of feet shifting, most likely making way for the first jumper, could be heard. Whips of clothing, steps of feet, maybe a cough once or twice, were the only sounds made as we waited for the first jumper.
Finally, there where short gasps of breaths from the top of the building, but there where no noises made from the jumper himself. Or should I say, herself. As she landing inside the net, she wheezed and her face went white. Her legs and feet were quite exposed, as the only clothing worn was a tight Abnegation maiden dress. The dresses were not supposed to keep any of you body parts from getting injured, but to show off the body for the 'man of the house's ' pleasure. Her arms contracted in wards, and after a brief moment, she stared up at the other initiates and let out a hysterical laugh. She then made to cover her face with her hands.
All the Dauntless took this as a signal to help out. As everyone pushed and turned around me, I was left at the back of the pack; that is until Lauren shoved me through all the pedestrians and right up, front and center, to the Abnegation initiate. She then noticed the hands, and reached for one, grabbing mine. After a brief moment of complaint, I pulled on the hands a bit too hard, and watch as she almost fell over attempting to get out. I barely knew what I was doing until I noticed my arms around her torso.
She stared at me, looking me over and such, until finally I let go of her arms and she stands up right.
"Thank you."
Before I can reply, Lauren says from behind me:
"Can't believe it, a Stiff, the first the jump? Unheard of."
This I'd had enough of.
"There's a reason why she left them Lauren." I turn to the girl, "What's your name?"
"Um..." She hesitates. I smile slightly, knowing that I, too, did the same stutter two years ago.
"Think about it, you don't get to pick again."
Not a moment later, she replies.
"Tris." She says firmly.
"Tris," Lauren repeats, grinning. "Make the announcement, Four."
I grin, look over my shoulder and shout, "First jumper-Tris!"
As soon as the words are spoken, the whole Dauntless emerges, cheering and pumping their fists. Then another person falls, along with a long scream. Everyone laughs.
I set my hand on Tris's shoulder and say,
"Welcome to Dauntless."