Love isn't just a four letter word...
Chapter 1.
'Sigh' Long day at the hospital, then rush home, take a shower and tumble into bed. Yet, they say: Life goes on. Does it? Will my life ever go on? Will I ever have a life?
Pointless questions I ask myself everyday. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because i've become very anti-social over the years? Maybe it's because my new strength frightens people? Or maybe it's because i'm different. Nowadays no one accepts different anymore. Maybe that's why my best friend Naruto stopped looking at me as a lover and finally as a friend, different's not so bad...
I would have pondered more had exhaustion not overcome me.
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'Sasuke, you're back.'
Silence.
'Why? Why did you come back if you're going to be like that?! Did you expect warm smiles and open arms?! Did you expect-'
The long thin shiny blade attached to his waist plunged through my chest, I stared into his empty eyes shocked, and he stared back.
Seconds past and I could feel the warm dark liquid seep into my clothes, I stole one last look at his empty eyes then fell to my knees.
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It took me a while to realise that I was screaming. I sat up quickly clutching my chest in a way of reassuring myself it was just a dream. A nightmare.
My breathing was uneven and my heart was pounding at an extremely violent pace. I ran to the bathroom as I felt warm acid rumble and twist in the pit of my stomach.
After throwing up a few times and brushing my teeth, I fell onto my bed face first on the white feathery pillow. My breathing seemed to have got to normal, as of my heart as well. I lifted my suddenly very heavy head to look up at the digital alarm clock sat on the dark wooden bedside table. 5:47 am.
I took the thirteen minutes that rest of my sleeping hours to think. It's not the first time I have this dream, I was relieved once I thought it had stopped. Apparently not.
But what would I do if he came back? Would I be happy? Seems like a long time since I felt that emotion. No, I wouldn't be happy, I wouldn't have time to with the hospital and secret ANBU S-ranked missions. I would have no time to even acknowledge his presence. That would be best. Best for both of us.
Before I knew it my alarm rang, chasing away the peaceful silence that floated in my room. With a low groan I got up and shoved on my ninja uniform that was led carelessly on the floor.
After eating one piece of toast, filling in some last-minute documents that I had forgotten about I rushed off towards the Hokage's office.
The streets of Konoha were busy as usual, people carrying new merchandise to their shops, foreigners negotiating prices, little kids running hand in hand towards the Acadamy. It seems like centuries since I was last at the Acadamy, truth is, it's only been six years.
As I near the Hokage's mansion I am joined by three ANBU ninja.
"Sakura." One nods to me.
I nod back.
"Were you summoned as well?" Asked another one.
Slightly confused I answer, "No, I always check in with the Hokage every morning, what's going on?"
"We don't know yet, we're heading there now as well."
So, something's up, it's rare that Tsunade doesn't tell me about ANBU missions before she hands them out. It's probably a last minute decision, that's why, it can't be that important.
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There is something, and she doesn't want me to know. When we arrived in her office, she gave me some documents to hand to a nurse at the hospital then told me to carry on my duties there. She didn't say anything about the ANBU she summoned. This isn't like her, with Shizune she tells us everything.
What am I saying? It's none of my business, maybe I shouldn't want to get involved.
As I walked round the ward checking on patients, a loud scream and the sound of nurses pushing a cot towards the healing room filled the air.
"They'll probably need you, go Sakura!" Shouted Karino, a usually quiet colleague of mine.
I nodded, then ran to the healing room. Once I entered I asked the medic-nin, " What's the problem?"
"We don't know, we found him screaming in the forest, a few miles outside of Konoha."
"His injuries?"
"It looks like he's been...tortured. Some sort of genjutsu."
I helped curing the patient, an hour later he was led on a cot comfortably in the ward. I was told that I should be the one to question him seeing as for once, I had nothing to do.
As I neared his cot, I could see him looking out the window sadly. He was about forty or so, short dark hair, wrinkly face with small grey eyes.
"How are you feeling?" I asked forcing a smile.
"Better, thank you." He answered still looking out the window.
"Would you like anything?"
"No, it's okay."
I sat down on the chair near his cot.
"Who did this to you?" I asked as softly as I could.
He hesitated a long moment, choosing his words carefully," A man, I was making my way to Konoha when he appeared, he demanded I tell him everything I knew about someone named...uhmm..."
"That's okay don't force yourself, its normal that you may experience slight memory loss because of the genjutsu."
"No, I remember, I do...Uhm...Sasuke! That's it, he wanted to know where he could find someone called Sasuke."
No...
"And what did this man look like?"
"I...I can't remember." He said staring down into his lap.
"It's okay. I'll let you rest now." I said hurrying out of the ward and towards the restroom.
Someone is looking for Sasuke. But it could be a different Sasuke, even if it was the same he's better off being killed anyway. He's the cause of this kind mans sufferance.
I stare into the long mirror that covers the wall above the sinks.
'You've changed!' Everyone keeps telling me. But when I look into the mirror I only see loneliness and pain. My short pink hair is tied up in a loose ponytail making my face appear more apparent. I now notice the lack of sleep on my face, my eyes have small dark circles surrounding them. To any normal person my eyes show no emotion, but to me I see underneath the mask. It's filled with hate and pain.
I keep telling myself i'm strong, finally a young woman, but these words only prevent myself from braking apart.
I jumped as I felt a warm hand squeeze my shoulder. I turned around to see Karino smiling at me.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I answer coldly.
"It doesn't look that way."
I wanted to ask her then why she had asked the question in the first place, but she grabbed a tissue from her pocket and gently wiped my cheeks. It wasn't until she wiped my tears away and I could feel the cold on my cheeks, that I noticed I had been crying.
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Leaning on the cold metal railing of my apartment balcony I realise what a fool I was today. I had promised myself not to let my emotions run wild like that, especially in the presence of another person. But, this can't go on. I can't live like this. It's not rite.
Looking down from my balcony I realise how high up I am, if I fall I would seriously injure myself. No, committing suicide is not the thing to do here. But, what should I do?
'Sigh' I've been trying, really really trying, but I suppose you win, yes Sasuke, I just can't forget you.
And for the first time I let the warm tears I had locked away fall violently down my face.