Description: Sara is told to keep a diary by her PEAP councillor. Follows Sara, from Season 5 onwards. Chapter One, Viva Las Vegas.
Disclaimer: For my birthday, which is the 25th of March, I am getting the rights to CSI and all its characters. Until then, I'm just having some fun.
Sara's Diary
Dear Diary,
Oh, God. My PEAP councillor suggested I do this, but when I write those two words "Dear Diary" I feel like I am thirteen again. Thirteen, and upstairs in my little pink bedroom, sitting on my bed, with Teddy beside me. With my schoolbooks scattered about and my stack of Science library books in the corner. I know what's going to start. The shouting and the screaming. The slap of skin on skin, and then the sound of skin hitting a hard surface. My Moms cries. My Dads angry voice. I tried to cover up the sounds with my blanket. I try stuffing my pillow over my head. I hold on tightly to Teddy, crying into his soft fur. Eventually, the door will slam and the apartment will be silent, except for my mom and me crying.
I find it so hard to talk about my family. I know I need to tell Grissom, my supervisor, when we have our post-PEAP counselling session, but I don't see how. I have no idea what to say to him about my drinking problem, how I explain to him it's really a me problem. I don't know how I will hold up in front of Grissom; our relationship is complicated, to say the least – basically, I asked him out and he turned me down. Work is torture at the moment. Catherine shooting me those sympathetic glances, Warrick, Nick and Greg asking me if I'm okay at every opportunity, when I just want to yell "Everyone leave me alone!" It was embarrassing earlier, when I was talking to myself in front of a mirror, planning what I was going to say when I plucked up enough courage to talk to Grissom, Greg came in with that new lab tech. I reckon she though I was insane. They both did. The whole lab, except maybe Grissom, does.