Wow. I REALLY need to stop with this angsty-depression-self-harm crap. I'm sorry! I can't help it! I'm a sucker for writing sappy, intense emotions (though it may suck epicly xD)

This one's just gonna be a one, maybe two-shot. I dunno :P Also in Yuugi's first-person perspective. I suck at first person, but it fits this story well, in my mind. So deal.

I hope someday soon I'll just write some fucking shameless, fangirling, squees-and-feels-and-moments-so-sweet-you'll-have- to-go-to-the-dentist-to-treat-your-cavities FLUFFY GOODNESS.

But like I said: I'm a sucker for drama and intense emotion ;)

All flames will be used to... I dunno... roast mah s'mores over :P

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

o.o.o.o.o

One month. It has only been one month; four weeks; thirty days. And, yet, it feels like an eternity has passed. A million lifetimes since HE passed.

HIM, my Darkness, my Partner, my Mou Hitori no Boku. The one I had spent a long three, almost four, years with. We were always together. I mean, it's not like we really had a choice... He was bound and sealed inside the Puzzle. My- his... no, our Millennium Puzzle. I spent eight years trying to solve it, and a another four trying to keep it safe from Evil's grasp.

I can still remember every detail of it. The upside-down pyramid shape. The smooth cold, yet strange radiant warmth that I felt beneath nervous or bored fingers. Its comforting weight upon my chest, and even the way it smacked up against my clothed torso when I ran. I remember each an every winding corridor, every misplaced step, every door leading to nowhere and traps lulling into oblivion. I remembered Ancient Egypt, from whence it came. But mainly, I remembered HIM.

Spirit. Pharaoh. Ghost. Mou Hitori no Boku. My Dark One. Koi. Yami. Atemu. The other half of my mind, my heart, my soul. My Soul Mate.

I felt my heart stall painfully. His name brought it each time, like a fresh punch to the throat, then the gut, then the chest. It hurts. But it is all I can feel, and one can build up a tolerance for pain, if they wanted to. But I don't.

The pain is what confirms his former existence. The proof that what I am feeling is more than some sort of schizophrenic delusion, forged only within my lonesome mind. I wouldn't put it past myself; I'd been certain at more than one point I'd been going mad these past few years. The blank-outs, the memory loss, foreign emotions and power and confidence I knew my once-innocent self could not contain. It still can't.

Ever since Yami- er, Atemu, left, I have fallen into a familiar pit of depression. The solitude, the loneliness, the emptiness of it all... It wasn't unfamiliar grounds. Only, last time, I had my games and Grandpa to turn to. But Grandpa will never understand how I feel. He says he does, they all do, but they don't. They may have loved the Pharaoh, but not in the way I did. He was half of my everything. Life, spirit, heart. And now he's gone, and taken half of me with him. And the games I had turned to for a distraction in the past now only highlight Yami's departure further. I can hardly bear the idea of Duelling again.

But I still do. I just hate it. Tournament winnings are the only thing keeping us afloat, since Jii-chan's accident. He had a heart attack, and can't manage to do anything to strenuous. Even running the Shop. I've taken that over, for now.

I hardly go to school anymore, anyways. Another development in my life.

I only show up once or twice a week. The rest is done online. The school allows it, considering that I had to take on so much responsibility after Grandpa's attack. Pick up some paper on Friday, drop some off, watch lessons online, next Friday turn it the week's homework, and pick up next week's. It's the same thing.

Day after day after day. And I'm already sick of it.

I've already made dinner, and Grandpa is now asleep. I don't think he knows that I haven't been eating. I just... don't want to. Everything that goes down either comes straight back up, or leaves me with stomach pains from the deepest bowels of Hell for the rest of the day.

Sleep has also become a problem. My dreams, or rather nightmares, are plagued by HIM. His face, his voice, his touch. Each starts out happy, and bright. But they all end in heartache and horror.

Yami dead. Yami bleeding and broken. Yami leaving. Yami saying he didn't love me. And each time, I wake in the same position I was in when I slept:

Curled in a ball, heartbroken, and crying my eyes out.

I shift atop my bedsheets, staring absently at a spot on the ceiling. Today was Wednesday, wasn't it? I let a sigh pass my lips. A slow blink, trying to soothe dry and stinging eyes. They'd come over again. They always came over on Wednesday evenings, checking up on us. On Gramps, on me.

They'd come in with the spare key Grandpa gave each of them, and walk into my room. Honda would sit by the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets. Jou would sit on the desk, one leg propped up on the slightly opened bottom drawer, leaning back on one hand while the other crossed his lap. Sometimes he'd drag his boyfriend, Seto Kaiba, along with him. Anzu would stand a few paces in front of him, hands crossed behind her back and a forced smile. While Honda remained silent, they'd ask how Grandpa was. How I was. If I was understanding the homework I was given, and when they'd see me at school again. They'd try to convince me to go out with them within the next few days, or to talk to them about what was making me so upset. They've yet to mention Yami straight to my face. And I'm both upset and relieved about that.

I shift, and turn my blank gaze to the wall. My head is pounding, and I feel strangely... faint; more drained than usual. That probably isn't good. Whatever.

Sure enough, I heard the door downstairs open. Its creaking hinges and the small jingle of a bell alert me of that. My three friends take the usual positions behind me. I don't bother tuning to face them. I don't really feel like talking tonight. I just want to sleep.

"Hey, pal," Jounouchi's voice barks up from behind me. I don't want to be completely rude, after they came here to say 'hi'... so I flip onto my back. Looks like Seto was brought with again. He's standing stiffly behind his other, face set in his usual cold scowl. "How's Gramps doin'? He asleep?"

Not knowing which question to answer first, I simply nod. I heard Honda emit a small sigh. "How are you, Yuugi? We haven't seen you since Friday," Anzu exclaimed gently. "We... We really miss you."

I'd feel bad if I wasn't, well... the way I was at present. My heart was cold. Empty. Dark. Frozen. I simply shrug. Ugh... Why is my stomach hurting so bad?

"So, uh... Yuug'," Jou clears his throat. He sounds awkward, embarrassed, almost. "You, uh, wanna go to tha' arcade wit' us ta'morrow? I heard they just added in some sweet new games. Sound fun?"

I shrug again as a response. I can feel my insides twisting unpleasantly. Something is going to happen... I can feel it.

Honda growled something under his breath. "You feel like talking to us anytime soon, Yuugi?" he grumbled. I can feel his narrowed stare on me. I shift my shoulders yet again. He growls again.

"Fine, then. I'm leaving." He opens the door of my bedroom. "Yo, Honda, where'ya goin', man?" Jou protests. I simply stare blankly over at him, still laying down.

"If little Yuugi wants to curl up and sulk and pout like a baby, let him." I blink, letting my brows dip slightly to show a portion of my hurt. 'Ouch...'

"Hiroto!" Anzu scolds, "He's grieving! Do you expect him to just up and forget about the Pharaoh that quickly?" I wince at his nickname, but shifted to lean on my elbows. Forget about him?

"I will never forget him," I managed, somewhat sternly. They all look at me in faint surprise, and my own eyes widen. I touch a hand to my throat. My voice sounded so raspy and sad... Honda sneers. "So," he hisses softly, "the broken doll speaks at last."

I flinch involuntarily. That was harsh...

"Why are you being such an ass?" Seto growls suddenly, brows furrowed. I blink in my surprise. Kaiba is sticking up for me? Wow...

He does have a heart, somewhere in him.

"Oh, and like you're one to talk, Kaiba!" This comment causes Jounouchi to scowl. "Hey, watch it, pal! No one can insult my man, 'cept me!" Seto rolled his eyes.

"Honda, how can you be so insensitive? Yuugi is hurting!" Anzu objected. It was like I wasn't even there. "We all are! The Pharaoh was just as much our friend as he was Yuugi's!"

'No,' I think, 'he was so much more.'

Honda continued, infamous temper flaring. I can see he's trying his best not to knock someone's lights out. "We are ALL being effected by that damned spirit's... crossing over, but it doesn't give Yuugi any freaking right to just blow off his other friends!" I didn't move a muscle as the brunette before turned his accusing gave to me. I wouldn't show him how hurt I was. His much his words were killing me, beneath this impassive shell...

"If I didn't know any better, I would think it was you that died." I can't help but blink, allowing them only the briefest of peeks behind my defenses. Oh, but I have died... Death would be a much brighter fate than the one I had at hand. I could tell they say the smallest traces of my unfathomable sorrow. It was gone in an instant, and I sat up fully. My stomach lurched almost painfully, and the lightheadedness became unbearable. To the point where I saw stars.

A hand instinctively flew to my mouth, and I stumbled from my mattress. I can barely get my legs to support my dwindling weight. Had I truly grown that weak these past thirty days? I was basically crawling my way to the bathroom.

I heard the others rush behind me, obviously concerned, but I slammed the bathroom door shut. The rest passed in a painful, gut-wrenching blur. The disgusting, acidic taste of my stomach and the tear-jerking heaves when the organ quickly emptied. I never really had anything in it, to begin with.

I vaguely register Jii-chan coming in behind me. I feel his wrinkled, calloused hands wiping my banges away from my sweaty brow as my stomach dry-heaved unwillingly. The smallest amounts of guilt prick my heart at the fact that I had disturbed him from much-needed rest.

When the empty convulsions stopped, I felt exhausted and hot. Someone offers a cup of water, which I gladly except to rid my jaws of the foul taste. The nausea remains, but, at least, I have stopped vomiting.

I stand. I can feel my body shaking as I stumble from the room. Why can't I get my limbs to work properly? The dizziness is returning with a vengeance. It's so disorienting; I can't make one object out from the other. It's a blur of annoying color.

I feel a sway. The ground tips beneath my feet, and rushes up to embrace my mind in a merciful black wave of dreamless sleep.

o.o.o.o.o

I regret nothing. :I

And I know you're all probably thinking "WHY ARE YOU MAKING ANOTHER STORY?! YOU ALREADY HAVE THREE!

Well: First, one of those is almost finished. Secondly, this is only a two-shot, and I've already written out the second part. W

SO, if you wanna see it, Imma ask for some reviews! I'll make it small... How does ten (10) sound? Not to high, right? :) Sorry if my asking for reviews bothers you, but I just think it's better than shitting out a bunch of stories simultaniously. I wanna know what you guys think of my writing! SO please, just stick with me, 'kay? XD

~Fallen