Don't Get Cut on My Edges
Disclaimers: I don't own Hetalia. The university setting is based off of my experience with American universities. I am not a student athlete nor am I in many of the departments mentioned in the fic. If you want to correct something about how major departments/being an athlete works, go right ahead and message me.
This story begins in the fall semester of 2015. For anyone who follows US college hockey, I am basing the schools off of relative distance to each other as well as divisions. I'm never going to name the two schools chosen (because I SO don't know enough about it and I didn't attend either school, though I did live in the city one of them is in) and I'm completely ignoring the outcomes of their actual games as they happened. If you guess the schools, please suspend disbelief. Thank you.
Prologue: Coming Out of My Cage
Matthew Williams put his back to the door and sighed when he saw that the previously empty portion of his dorm room was covered in clothes, boxes, and unhanged posters. He had been desperately hoping to have a few days to himself before his roommate arrived, if only to mentally adjust to being away from home. It didn't help any that he had just come from meeting his new teammates. He had known that he would be a nobody here, that his reputation was going to stay at home. Experiencing it was something entirely different.
Hockey had always been his sanctuary. Skating felt like flying and he often found himself craving the same adrenaline rush that games brought in the off season. Practicing and playing was the only time he and his twin brother, Alfred, had never clashed. Instead, they made a lethal team in the rink that had earned them several local monikers, his favorite being "Fire and Ice." Alfred was the forward, the fire, the one who made all the showy plays and scored the goals. Matthew was the defenseman, the ice, freezing most strategies their opposition attempted. With them playing, few of the other team's tactics worked. It had made both of them targets for foul play, though that stopped after the first few attempts. They were excellent players to begin with, but what made them the best in their league was that they were their own enforcers.
That's the thing about fire and ice; make your choice but both can burn you alive. Separate, they were dangerous. Together, they could kill you.
The problem for Matthew with their minor athletic celebrity back home was that it never translated to his everyday life. It didn't change that, off the ice, he was still awkward, quiet, overly polite Matthew. He preferred to stay home and study, trying desperately to earn good enough grades to get a scholarship to university. In public, he faded into the background to the point that people didn't even notice if he was there.
If he was unremarkable next to everyone else, he was invisible next to Alfred.
Alfred was the all-American golden boy. Funny, outgoing, and naturally smart, he was the one that drew everyone's eye in a room. He stole the hearts of guys and girls alike, a fact he took advantage of. He was loud, brash, and irreverent. By a fluke of nature, Alfred had been born at 11:58 on the Fourth of July and Matthew had followed six minutes later, at 12:04 on July 5th. Alfred was the one who got fireworks on his birthday. He didn't.
Matthew was fine with that; they were different people and the thought of having everyone's attention like Alfred constantly did made him nervous. After a certain point, he had gotten used to being invisible and that allowed him certain freedoms that Alfred didn't have. It didn't make him love his brother any less.
What did, however, was how Matthew was the one who constantly was stuck smoothing the feathers that Alfred ruffled. He had been cleaning up Alfred's messes for as long as he could remember, doing his best to make everyone happy. What bothered Matthew was how little Alfred seemed to understand or care about him off the ice. He was constantly pushing his "little" brother to go out with him and his friends, to date someone, to be more like him. He resented the fact that Alfred did just as well as him on tests and assignments even though he put in only a fraction of the time that Matthew did. They disagreed about almost everything and Alfred was the only one who could make Matthew lose his temper in a short period of time. Yes, Matthew loved his brother, but he didn't like him.
Matthew would never say tell him, but it was a relief when Alfred decided to go to a school 200 miles away.
But back to the point. Hockey was one of the few ways people saw him and respected him at home. He had proven himself and the knowledge that Alfred would always have his back on the ice was comforting. Here, he was just another freshman and his teammates had taken one assessing glance before dismissing him. He knew he needed to show he was a valuable member of the team before they would warm up to him, but he was still hoping to see a friendly face. Matthew didn't know anyone in the state and he was awful at making friends. He saw that everyone was talking to someone else when the coach finished addressing them and took his leave. The last thing he wanted to do was intrude where he wasn't wanted.
Maybe if he accepted the fact that the next four years were going to be spent alone, he eventually become okay with it.
Matthew heard loud voices in the hall and moved to finish unpacking what little possessions he had left in boxes. The people got louder and a strange clicking noise came from the door as a keycard was inserted. Looks like it's time to meet who I'll be living with for the next year.
"I don't CARE if you live in the same building, you bastard. You're not—" Matthew watched as a tan, somewhat short boy froze in the entrance of the dorm. His eyes were wide and a strange olive color and Matthew abruptly realized that this guy was gorgeous. Jesus, he hoped he wasn't his roommate; living with a boy that beautiful could give a guy a complex.
When nothing was said for a second of Matthew and this mystery man just staring at each other, a second, equally beautiful guy stuck his head into the room as he said, "Ve, why'd you stop, Lovi—oh! You must be Lovi's roommate. Hi!" His eyes were squinting to the point that he couldn't make out the color of them, but he at least was smiling.
Involuntarily blushing, Matthew smiled back awkwardly and said, "Uh, yeah. Um, sorry. I'm Matthew Williams. It's nice to meet you." He stepped forward and offered his hand first to this Lovi, who had yet to move or say anything. He was his roommate, apparently; he should be greeted first, right?
His roommate blinked at him in confusion for a moment before squinting at him suspiciously but moved to take his hand anyway. "Lovino Vargas. This idiot is my brother, Feliciano."
"Ve, call me, Feli!" Feliciano moved to take his hand and shook it enthusiastically. Goodness, he had a lot of energy.
"Great. You both can call me Mattie or Matt if you want. Neither bothers me." When Lovino nodded and moved further into the room towards his stuff, Feliciano started speaking again.
"Okay, Mattie. Are you a first year, too?"
"Uh, yes—"
"This is the freshmen dorm, Feli," Lovino, grumbled under his breath, still loud enough to be audible.
Feliciano seemed to roll his eyes. "I know that, Lovi, but some sophomores live here, too, and RAs can be upperclassmen."
"Um, it seemed like you two were talking about something when you came in. I can leave and give you some privacy, if you like. I don't want to intrude."
Lovino frowned at him. "I'm not going to kick you out of your own room, Matthew, but I appreciate the offer."
"Besides, we should get to know each other!" Feliciano said. Matthew winced internally, not really up to dealing with Feliciano's energy level.
Lovino saved him. "Don't you have your own roommate to get to know?"
Feliciano pouted a little. "He hasn't shown up yet. You know that, Lovi."
"Why did you guys move in early, if you don't mind me asking? I had to because I'm an athlete. Do you play something?"
"Yep! We're on the footba—sorry, soccer team. What do you play, Mattie?"
"Let me guess…" Lovino gave him a slow look up and down that made him flush again. Good lord. "…you run track? Or maybe swim?"
"Ah, no. But those were good guesses." Matthew wasn't as solidly built as his brother, let alone the other members of his team. What he lacked in strength he made up with speed, cunning, and sheer ruthlessness. People underestimated him because of his personality and size. It was a mistake, when acted on, they didn't make twice unless they were particularly thick. "I actually play hockey."
Feliciano's eyes widened, showing they were a startling gold color, and Lovino raised his eyebrows at him. "Dangerous sport for someone as nice as you."
Matthew looked at his roommate. "Just because I prefer to be nice doesn't mean I can't be mean."
Lovino smiled at him for the first time. "You know, Mattie, I think this roommate thing might just work out."
Feliciano looked at them askance before shrugging. "That's good. Ve, do you know anyone else here, Mattie?"
"No, not at all. I think a few people from my high school are going here, though I'm not sure. My brother might know."
"You have a brother?" Feliciano seemed intent on asking him questions, but Matthew wasn't going to complain. It was nice to have someone show interest and without him there, an awkward silence might follow. This was fine.
"Yes, a twin. He's starting school a bit farther north."
"What's his name?"
"Alfred. Hope you never meet him."
"Why?"
"He can be a lot to handle."
"What are you studying?"
Jesus. There's questions then there's an interrogation. "History and French, but I'm pre-law. How about—"
"Oooh, what kind of law?"
"I'm not really sure yet. Um—"
"Christ, Feli, let the guy—"
"Are you gay?"
"Pretty sure but I don't-!" Holy shit. Matthew slapped a hand over his mouth and stared at a grinning Feliciano in shock.
"What the everloving fuck, Feli! We just met the guy!" Lovino looked upset and that made Matthew fear that he would be for more than one reason.
Feliciano shrugged. "What? It's good to know if the person you're living with is going to be homophobic or not. If not for a general human assessment, then it was good for me to know how to act around him." Feliciano looked at him and waved. "Hi, Feliciano Vargas, openly pan."
Still a little shocked, Matthew lifted the hand not covering his mouth and waved back.
"Still, that was way too fucking personal, even if Matthew is too shocked to say anything. Fucking Christ, you don't trick people into coming out to you."
"I just asked, Lovi."
"We all know you didn't just ask. Fucking shit." Lovino looked at Matthew. "I apologize for my brother, Matthew. He was just leaving." Lovino cut his eyes to Feliciano with a glare.
Feliciano put his hands up in surrender and started backing towards the door. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Mattie, but I needed to know. Don't worry; I'm not going to tell anyone without your permission. To answer what I think was your question earlier, I'm an art and Italian major. Ve, ciao!"
Feliciano opened the door then disappeared into the hall. Matthew slowly lowered his hands and looked at Lovino worriedly. "Um, will this be a problem?"
"I fucking hope not. Christ, my brother needs to learn boundaries. Ya think you raise 'em right then BAM! I can't fucking believe—oh, you meant that you're gay."
Matthew laughed a little, nervous. "Something like that. Yes, that's what I meant."
"Only if you have a problem that I'm bi, too. And for the sake of peace, can we agree here and now not to date each other, at least for the year? It's not that I wouldn't want to date you because you're kind of ridiculously attractive and appear to be one of those rare people I can bear to be around for extended periods of time. It's just, if we broke up and still had to be roommates, it would be too fucking awkward." Lovino had turned cherry red by the time he was done talking and was glaring angrily at the floor. It made Matthew smile, though he didn't know how to deal with the ridiculously attractive part, especially considering who was talking. He opted to ignore it.
"Sounds like a plan to me. Friends?"
Lovino looked up at him and the corner of his mouth twitched. "You'll do."
Maybe this whole college thing didn't have to be as miserable as he was expecting.
A/N:
Like Transparency, the main pairing is going to be PruCan with some background pairings thrown in (GerIta, Spamano, USUK in the way back if you squint). It will be a bit before Gilbert starts interacting with Matthew. Until then please enjoy some friendship developments. Also, this is definitely in the romcom genre, so be prepared for some clichés.
The title is from Halsey's "Young God." It will come up in the story, but not for some chapters yet.
I think for this story, I'm going to have a different song lyric for each chapter title. This one is from "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers. I
Thanks to Masterliful for the beta.
Please review and let me know what you think!
darkhuntress13