HE'S GOT THE FUNK
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Alicia Keys' "You Don't Know My Name". (Having me admit that straight out is not only painful, but it is cruel).
Summary: "There is one thing," Quinn smiled. "You guys never could rock a Funk number," Finn interjected. "Uh-oh," Rachel grinned as she watched Jesse sit up straighter. Mr. St. James was never one to back down from a challenge. And boy, that was a challenge if he ever saw one.
Pairing: St. Berry goodness
A/N: So, basically, I was inspired to write this after watching Jonathan Groff's awesome rendition of "You Don't Know My Name" at Joe's Pub. I thought to myself, "This boy's got SOUL!" and it immediately reminded me of the "Funk" episode. You guys should check the video out, just go on to Youtube and search "Jonathan Groff You Don't Know My Name". It's great, really. Enjoy!
It had taken the members of New Directions awhile to warm up to him.
They voiced their suspicions, deliberately excluded him from any plans they made whether it was in the glee club or outside, came right out and called him a "slimeball spy" right to his face (on several occasions).
There was always an ongoing battle of wits between him and the entire club (well, maybe Finn and Brittany put together would be counted as the wit of "one" person...). Even Kurt got all up in his business once. It was the first time he attended a proper rehearsal.
He had strode into the choir room, clad in a black T-shirt and jeans, topping it off with his dark, beaten up denim jacket. Scanning the room, he noticed Rachel's absence.
"And pray tell, who exactly are we mourning for today?" Kurt snorted, crossing his arms over his chest while gesturing to Jesse who had only just noticed him.
"Excuse me?" the senior arched an eyebrow, slowing his steps to a stop. No one dared to speak to Jesse unless spoken to. It was like an unwritten rule. At least back in Carmel.
Kurt exchanged amused glances with Mercedes who was seated behind him. "Dashing off to a funeral later on, are we?" the effeminate adolescent smirked at his own quip before letting out a laugh, joined in with the rest of the group.
To anyone else, this would probably be their cue to blush tomato red before laughing it off and seating themselves quietly. Or maybe it would be their cue to throw a very unprofessional fit at the attacker. But, this wasn't just "anyone else". This was Jesse St. James.
Jesse merely gave a wry, humorless laugh at the boy. "You're referring to my choice in attire," he stated, rather than questioned. He was the only one standing in front of the seated glee clubbers. It almost felt like he was the center of a currently ongoing performance.
Standing with ease as his hands were placed in his jean pockets, Jesse watched Kurt nod as if it were the most obvious thing in the universe. Allowing his smile to transform into a cool smirk, he sighed.
"Well then, thank me for being considerate enough to wear black. Because if I didn't, I'd outshine you far more than I already have," his voice maintained control as he spoke words that rendered Kurt speechless and in a word, 'huffy'.
One would think that after an introductory like that, New Directions would've put Jesse in a category labeled "asshole extraordinaire" forever. And that was saying something, considering they put up with the likes of "The Puckzilla" as Noah so gallantly put it.
But, they didn't.
In fact, after a month or so of Jesse helping them out with their own little problems and them returning the favor, they had all sort of become... well... friends. As crazy and other-worldly as it may sound.
So fast-forward past all that, they were now seated together in a pub that was 'underaged-minors-friendly' enough, seeing as the patrons were mostly high school students and maybe a bunch of college-goers here and there. It was a small town. Teens made do with what they had. For the pub, it just meant that they'd be selling a lot of virgin mocktails.
After what seemed like hours of talking and laughing over the random people that got up on stage to sing (to which Rachel and Jesse openly discussed every flaw and missed note without a shred of humility... it was a hobby), of Puck stealing Jesse's beer everytime the waitress brought one for the guy (at the rate "the Puckzilla" was going, Jesse was never going to get a drop of it)... the conversation steered to Vocal Adrenaline.
"There is one thing," Quinn smiled knowingly to the rest before turning her attention back to Jesse. Lifting an eyebrow (his trademark gesture), he quirked a lopsided smile while subconsciously trailing his fingers up and down Rachel's bare arm. He was pleasantly leaning in his seat with his arm around the brunette ingenue who looked to the pretty, blonde ex-Cheerio with a curious smile.
"Oh? And what is it New Directions (pre-yours truly's existence) can do, Vocal Adrenaline could never in a million years do better?" he repeated the statement they had all been discussing carefully, his rich voice laced with humor.
"Well, you guys never could rock a Funk number," after a moment's silence, Finn had interjected with an amused smile as the group erupted with a series of 'oohs' and 'oh snap(s)!'
It was true that with the way Vocal Adrenaline was conducted, they were left no room for just letting loose or "getting down" as well as allowing their heart and soul to completely take over. They were trained to be militant and disciplined.
Rachel grinned as she continued to laugh softly before turning to look at her boyfriend. She watched the half-smile that began to form on his pillow-soft lips. "Uh-oh," she maintained the smile on her face as he sat up straighter.
Mr. St. James was never one to back down from a challenge. And boy, that was a challenge if he ever came across one.
He turned to look at Rachel, giving her a wink whilst retracting his arm from around her shoulders to take his leather jacket off. The group laughed and jeered loudly, excited to see what he had up his sleeve. He got up wordlessly, wearing nothing but the determined and amused smirk on his handsome face.
"Get it, white boy!" Mercedes sassed, grinning as the others laughed incredulously and applauded him. Rachel shook her head disbelievingly as she watched him saunter off to the tiny stage a few feet away, clad in a black V-neck T-shirt that hugged him nicely, showing off every ripple of his toned, muscular body. The tiny lead of the glee club bit her lip softly as she noticed all this while he spoke to the pianist in an easy manner.
The way the spotlight bounced off of him as he adjusted the mic stand, watching his solid arms... she suddenly wanted nothing more than to feel him envelope her wholly.
The beginning notes of Alicia Keys' "You Don't Know My Name" began to play off the pianist's fingers, earning an applause from the rest of the pub. The particularly loud cat calls and screaming were, of course, coming from her table. They were still dumbstruck that Jesse was going through with this.
What if he... heaven forbid... couldn't pull off such a soulful number? Rachel thought about that possibility nervously... until he opened his mouth and started singing.
"Baby, Baby, Baby! From the day I saw you... I really, really wanted to catch your eye," shaking his head, Jesse snapped his fingers along with the beat.
Kurt's jaw dropped. DAMN. Who knew the seemingly mechanical St. James could get down and hella sexy with his singing at the very beginning of a soul song?
Licking his lips, the aforementioned St. James quirked a smile. "Baby, Baby, Baby! I must really like you," he glanced to Rachel, running a hand through his curly locks. "Coz' not a lot of girls are worth my time, no..." he shut his eyes as he soulfully dragged out that last note.
".God... He's really doing it," Santana murmured, frowning in awe.
"Oh! Baby, Baby, Baby! It's getting kinda crazy, coz' you are takin' over my mind," theatrical Jesse came over as he shut his eyes once more and lifted his hands up in a pretense of surrender, all the while still swaying to the music.
"Kinda feels like Ooooh... you don't know my name... ha!" he ad-libbed that last little grunt a-la the King of Pop before continuing. "I swear... it feels like Ooooh... but, you don't know my name... ah!" he bounced on the balls of his feet, sending a mischievous look in Rachel's direction before running his fingers through his hair again, pushing it back.
Pumping his hand up as the song picked up again, he moved on. "Baby, Baby, Baby! I see us on a first date. I'm doin' everything that makes you smile," taking the mic from its stand, he chuckled lightly, placing the stand a little to the side.
"And when we had our first kiss, it happened on a Thursday... oh, it set my soul on fire!" he doubled over slightly, bringing all that passion out in that last line. It made Rachel cross her legs subconsciously.
"Oh! Baby, Baby, Baby! I can't wait for the first time, coz' my imagination's running wild," he danced coolly, just swaying and feeling the heart of the music as he secretly smiled at the intense truth behind what he just sang to a roomful of strangers.
"Holy cheeseballs," Brittany whispered breathlessly and wide-eyed as Mercedes along with Tina took to giggling and cheering every once in a while.
"And it feels like Ooooh..." Jesse lifted a hand as he turned to wave smoothly to his table of friends. Puck and Finn exchanged glances, not knowing whether to be impressed or feel the need to beat the guy senseless for being... impressive.
"But, you don't know my name... baby, I swear! Coz' it feels like Ooooh... you don't know my name... no, no," he ran a hand over his damp brow, realizing the spotlight was making him sweat. In a totally sexy way, Rachel noted as she grinned like an idiot whilst watching him.
"Will you ever know it? Ha... No, no, no, no, no..." he looked over to the brunette diva once more. "No, no," Jesse pouted adorably to her before a smile lit up his face.
"I'm doing nothing I've ever done for anyone's attention,
Take notice of what's in front of you,
Coz' did I mention? You're 'bout to miss him...
Or you'll never know how good it feels to have all of my affection," he placed a hand on his solid chest, earning screams from practically all the ladies present.
Quinn was in the middle of doubling over in laughter, placing a hand over her mouth as she did so.
"And you'll never get a chance to experience my lovin', yeah my lovin," Jesse's face contorted in theatrical passion as he smoothly thrusted his hips forward and back to the music. Cue another round of screams from the entire bar. The only silent one was Rachel who was stunned as she watched him with her wide, doe eyes. Suddenly, she felt even more so hot and bothered.
"And it feels like Ooooh...
But, you don't know my name...
Baby, I swear... Yeah, it feels like Ooooh...
But, you don't know my name, no..." Smiling out of amusement from the crowd's reaction, Jesse continued to sway from side to side.
"Will you ever know it? No, no, no, no, no..." he brought the mic stand back in front of him.
Jesse paused.
"You know what? I think I'm just gonna call this girl," bringing his lips close to the microphone, he simply spoke the words, quoting Ms. Keys, just changing it up here and there to suit him.
The pub burst into cheers and laughter, playing along with the obvious superstar onstage.
"Does anybody here have a cellphone? Anybody? Oh, thank you..." Jesse had asked the crowd in front of him, finally someone thrusted her phone towards him.
"What in the holy name of Anna Wintour is he doing now?" Kurt uttered in between giggles.
Taking the phone, Jesse belted out once more into the mic, "Will you ever know it?" he shrugged, as if answering his own question. Keeping his lips close to the mic, he lowered his eyes to the phone while singing in slight distraction, "No, no, no, no, no..." he lifted his eyes, "No, no."
At this point, even Puck chuckled lightly at the guy's antics. Who knew Jesse had the capacity to be fun? The dude was actually dialling someone's number on stage!
Running a hand through his bronze hair, he brought the cellphone to his ear.
Rachel, along with the rest of her glee club mates started as her cell phone rang deafeningly from its position on the table. It took her awhile to really register what was happening until Santana shrieked impatiently, "Answer him, spaz!"
Ignoring the harshness of the Cheerio's voice, Rachel answered it immediately.
"Uh, hello," Jesse's deep voice floated from the stage, but sure enough, she could hear him through the phone as well.
"Can I please speak to..." he paused.
"To Rachel?" he turned to look at the New Directions' table, particularly her. Someone from the crowd screamed her name, followed by a series of whoops and cheers.
Rachel controlled herself and got into character. This was going to be fun.
"This is her," she played along, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder, smiling teasingly as her gaze met his.
"Oh, hey... how you doin'?" he answered, in an almost "Joey-From-Friends"-like manner as he nodded.
Laughing along with the crowd, Rachel sighed dramatically. She was his drama queen, after all. "I've been good," no one from her table dared to make a sound as they listened to the not-so-private "conversation", laughter etched and frozen on their faces.
"Listen, I feel kinda silly doin' this, but uh... this is the waiter from the coffee house on 39th and Lennox," Jesse continued smoothly, his rich voice mimicking Alicia Keys' accent.
"Leroy?" she questioned quickly in mock wonder as she held her gaze with him.
Jesse pretended to look annoyed as he looked to the rest of the crowd as if in exasperation. "Not the one with the braids."
The glee clubbers had to laugh loudly at this as even Finn and Mike pounded their hands against the table top repeatedly while their laughter came out in guffaws. Rachel laughed soundlessly and shushed them, trying to keep her composure. "Oh, you're that other guy," she let her voice fill with realization, turning back to look at Jesse on stage as he too returned his gaze to her.
"Yeah, well I see you every Wednesday. You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think," Jesse coolly explained, sucking in his bottom lip before saying the next line.
"And you always order the special," he sighed, uttering 'the special' in a sexy voice whilst narrowing his eyes on her.
"Oooh!" Mercedes burst out with as a chorus of whistles from all around followed.
Jesse smiled. "With your hot chocolate," he continued in the same voice, tilting his head to the side at a blushing Rachel Berry. Some guy from the audience yelled out "Awww, yeahhh!"
"So you know me well," she managed to get out, her voice dripping like honey. Jesse grinned and turned to look at the crowd.
"Now my manager be trippin', talkin' 'bout how we gotta use water, but..." he chattered hilariously, jiving like an expert before he paused.
"I always use some milk and cream for you coz' I think you're kinda sweet," he shrugged with a half-smirk that read 'Yes, I just said that."
It was Rachel's turn to burst out laughing as the crowd did the same at the sheer cheesiness of the line. "Oh, my gosh," she clamped a hand over her mouth to slow down her giggles as she watched Jesse try to stifle his own laughter onstage.
"Anyway," he continued. "You always got on some fly owl sweater and your earrings be shinin' all bright," he jived, hearing Rachel laugh musically again through the phone. "So, what do you do?" he paused to let her answer, a smile growing on his devilishly handsome face.
"I sing. With an amazing show choir. We're pretty great," she bit her lip, leaning in her seat as Jesse nodded along.
"Oh, word," Jesse agreed, sounding impressed while resting his weight against the mic stand as he held it in place. "Yeah, that's interesting," he ran his tongue quickly along his bottom lip, before his voice picked up a little more and continued.
"Listen, girl... I don't wanna wasted your time and uh... I don't normally do this, but..." he ran his fingers through his hair (he was a creature of habit).
"I was wondering if you'd like to get together sometime outside the restaraunt?" he cleared his throat, before his voice became a tone deeper.
"Coz', you know, I do look a lot different outside my work clothes," he added suggestively, another smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
Drowning out the screaming crowd, Rachel smiled, "I bet you do," which earned her a a mixture of looks from around the table. They were all equally impressed, shocked, awed to silence, and loving this dirty girl in front of them. "But where do you suggest?" she asked breezily.
"We could just go across the street to the park right here... Oh, hold up..." he pretended not to hear her, looking to the phone, shaking it a little. "Hold up, my cell phone's breaking up, hold up," he said once more, staying true to the song. What a professional.
He paused and turned his hazel eyes back to Rachel. "Can you hear me now?" his sultry voice held all sorts of different undertones as it echoed from the stage and in the cell phone of a beaming Rachel Berry.
"Loud and clear," she answered. Artie took his napkin and fanned Rachel while Tina fanned herself at the heat of Jesse's hidden messages radiating from his voice.
"So, what day did you say?" Jesse asked before turning on the speaker of the cellphone and bringing it close to the mic.
"Thursday," Rachel answered before realizing it was her voice that was resonating through the pub.
Everyone screamed and cheered, some even jumping up, noting that this guy on stage had REALLY been conversing with a girl on the phone all this while. Rachel's table went nuts as they joined in the excitement.
"Thursday," Jesse repeated, keeping his cool as his smile grew. "Thursday's perfect," his voice maintained control as you could practically here the smile in it.
Lifting the cellphone up in the air, he started singing again. "And it feels like Ooooh!" bringing the phone in front of him while staring at it as if he could see Rachel's face, "But, you don't know my name, ah! Baby, I swear... It feels like Ooooh..." Jesse turned to wink at his girlfriend whilst clicking the disconnect button.
"Thank you," he then leaned forward with the mic stand to hand the phone back to the now putty owner. "...You don't know my name, ohhh," he tilted his head slightly backwards as he really was in the feel of the song.
"And it feels like ooooh... But, she don't know my name," he sang. Rachel smiled and shook her head. But, that couldn't have been far from the truth. She was pretty certain that she knew of him way before he knew her. In fact, she knew him before she knew of his affiliation with Vocal Adrenaline. But, that's another story for another time.
Jesse's passion escalated into the song as he continued. "And I swear on my mother and father it feels like, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh..." his soulful runs slowed down towards the end as the piano followed suit. Everyone sighed. His voice really could melt butter.
"Will you ever know it? My name..." He hit that last note with such intensity as he dragged it out, ending with a bang.
And with that, people cheered and stood up whilst applauding him (cat calls and all). They chanted his name. It figures... Half the room already knew who he was.
Giving them a bow and a little salute, he hopped off the stage and headed back to his table. Along the way, several people came up to him, clapping him on the shoulder and paying him some well-deserved (in his opinion) compliments.
A girl sidled up to him, trying to push her number into the front of his belt. In response, he gently grabbed her hand from sliding south any further, leaned forward to utter, "Sweet cheeks, I got a girlfriend," and smiled at her forlorn look before continuing on back to his table. Standard superstar protocol. One he had been perfecting since he was practically ten months old.
"Vocal Adrenaline can't do funk... Those were your exact words, were they not?" Jesse cleared his throat, crossing his toned arms across his chest while stopping by the desired table. A half smile/half smirk played on the corners of his lips as he watched everyone exchange looks with each other.
"Alright, alright, pretty boy... We get it," Puck groaned, rolling his eyes. He hated being proved wrong. And in this case... They were all proven wrong this time.
"Yeah, you were okay," Finn shrugged in non-chalance, hoping that Jesse hadn't seen him go ape over the performance just minutes ago.
Jesse's eyebrows rose as he was about to reply, before Santana cut him off.
"Okay?" she hissed in disbelief at Finn before flipping her hair to look up to the star of the moment. "He was phenomenal," she purred, sending him a look. Somehow she managed to make the word 'phenomenal' sound like the dirtiest, naughtiest thing in the world.
Flattered and unnerved at the same time, Jesse instantly looked at Rachel who seemed unaffected by Santana's little come-on. She trusted him enough. And Santana was a bit of a skank, so it didn't really seem out of character of her.
"Well, what else do you want us to say, GQ?" Mercedes feigned exasperation, but couldn't help but smile genuinely to the guy as they all waited for him to answer.
"Nothing. Let this be a lesson..." he started to which they all groaned, causing him to fight back his laughter with a smile. "Let this be a lesson that Jesse St. James does not equate to Vocal Adrenaline. So, the fact that they can't do funk... just means that they couldn't keep up with this 'Funky Town' local," he gestured to himself in mock seriousness. Then again, he meant every word. In any case, the group erupted in a fit of laughter as they shook their heads.
"Well, then," Rachel got up from her seat, standing to take a step closer to him. Jesse turned his body to face her. He looked so yummy under the dim lighting and his scent smelled of his cologne, sweat and hair product. She could've melted right there and then.
"Is there anything you can't do, St. James?" Rachel asked innocently, tilting her head to the side as she looked up to him.
Smirking, he stepped forward to close the gap between them. Wrapping his arms around her waist, she returned the gesture by smiling seductively and draping her arms around his shoulders.
"Let's go back to your place and maybe you'll find out, Berry," he murmured, his hazel eyes trailing down to her lips.
Rachel's smile grew.
And that night, "found out" she did.
A/N: I can't really decide whether or not to write what she "found out" *winkwink*. It seems like such an enticing idea, but ending the story here leaves you guys in a sandbox of imagination to play with. And that's always fun.
And I've dropped a couple of hints here and there in this story to clue you guys in on my future St. Berry fics. Aw, I'll just tell you: hint; the whole Jesse helping them out with stuff and them returning the favor and also hint; how exactly did Rachel first come to know about Jesse if it had nothing to do with Vocal Adrenaline HINTHINT... haha!
I'm a firm believer in listening to anyone and everyone's opinions, so please leave a review and tell me what you think of EVERYTHING I just wrote up there. You can even mention what you'd like to see Jesse or Rachel do, anything at all (provided it's within the St. Berry realm). I may put it in a future fic (and credit you, of course!)
I may even do song requests. But, it might take awhile, considering I'm still thinking of something good for "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love".
Peace and love, everyone.