I always wondered if what I did was for my good or his. I haven't been able to say his name since I left. I can barely think it now. But I can still picture his eyes, the eyes that would melt me with one glance, make me feel like I was flying. And the way he would look at me like I was the only thing in the world. That all changed that night, it seems like so long ago. It was like any other night. We were on our way to pandemonium, it was like I was seeing it in someone else's eyes, we were just getting into the cab I was only one left to get in. Before I knew it I heard Isabelle scream and then everything went black. When I woke up I was in the infirmary. The first thing I saw were those golden eyes.

"You're awake". Jace said sitting on the side of the cot.

"Were am I". I asked, I felt a little sick, but nothing that bad.

He looked worried, I tried to remember what had happened the night before, but all I could remember was hot white pain on my back, and then nothing. Extinctedly I reached for my back, I felt a little pinch as the bandages pulled my skin.

"What happened". I asked with a hint of fear.

"You were attacked". He responded, not looking at me.

Right then I knew something was wrong. I felt it in my gut.

"Was anyone else hurt". I asked.

"No, no one else is hurt were all fine, but I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about you." Jace said looking with a look of pain in his face.

"What, why, I'm fine, I'm not that hurt". Jace didn't seem to hear me. He was looking off into space, like he was seeing something that wasn't there, kind of like what I do when I'm recalling an event that had happened. He got this horrible look on his face, like a piece of his heart had been ripped right out of his chest. That's when I knew he was remembering last night. I called his name several times before he focused on me again. He looked like he wanted to say something but the words just wouldn't come out. That's when Alec came in. When he saw me he froze. Like he was scared of something, like he was scared of me.

"Jace what's wrong, what's going on. Tell me". I pleaded, Jace wouldn't look at me and when he did I saw a tear run down his cheek.

"Just tell her already, Izzy will probably tell her any way". Alec blurted out.

Jace looked like he was going to murder Alec.

"Jace just tell me"

Jace looked at me and then he told me. I felt my heart skip a beat and then I felt like couldn't breathe.

Somehow I managed to whisper."I was bitten by a werewolf".

Jace had his arms around me then holding me so tight that I couldn't breathe. I asked him to let go, I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I had to be alone, I got up still in the skimpy dress I had been wearing when I was attacked and ran to the door my back screaming in pain but I kept going shoving pass Alec I swung the door open and ran for the spiral steps that led to the greenhouse, Izzy saw me tried to talk but I just ran passed her once I saw the stairs I slowed a little bit, then I heard Jace, Izzy, And Alec's voice coming down the hall after me, I picked up my pace and was on the last step when they rounded the corner. I listened as they asked each other were I had went; good they didn't think I would come here. Truthfully I had been going there every night I wasn't with Jace. It was beautiful I felt like I could think; think about all that was going on in my life. I heard Isabelle say something to Jace like we'll find her she just needs some time to process it; it's a lot to take in. And then they were gone. I remember thinking about what to do. When I'd chosen, I went my room grabbed some paper and wrote the letter that changed my life. By the time Jace woke up I was gone. I knew he wouldn't be able to see the reason why I left, but I left because I didn't want to hurt him.

My phone wouldn't stop ringing I had voicemail after voicemail. Most from Jace saying that he didn't care, that if I was a werewolf he would still love me. Alec calling to say sorry it was obvious Jace had him read off of a piece of paper. By then I was already on a plane to California. I found another werewolf who used to be a shadowhunter and we became friends and that's when we decided to start a new life for ourselves. The first thing we did was our hair, me a blonde her Brunette. Then our eyes, the green was hard to cover so I went with brown contacts. My name now Melissa, I couldn't lose my entire past so I went with something close. Hers now Lily.

We found an apartment for me, and one for her. We found a pack called the Lii's. Well it's been about a year since I left. My name in the pack is Eyes, my eyes may be brown when human but my eyes are the brightest green as a wolf. Well I may be small but I'm the pack leader now. When the last leader died of a demon attack she appointed me. I work at a Small store dealing with Shadowhunting gear and Weapons. I like my job, I get to see shadowhunters all the time, and kill demons it was like still be a shodaowhunter but have better senses and be stronger and faster.

So you're up to the present, right now me and Lily are training again. She's good but not better than me, right now I could probably beat her. Well I don't love my life as a werewolf but it isn't that bad. Right then I got a round house kick to the face.

"LILY!" I screamed

"What, I thought we were training". That's when she saw my face, and she knew I was thinking about him.

"Sorry, I just got distracted" I said.

"You were thinking about him weren't you" she gave that look of sympathy. I hated sympathy, including for no reason.

"Its fine, I've thinking about him a lot lately I can't seem to stop"

That's when a group of mundane and one shadowhunter walked into the combat room talking to the shadow hunter about her date that night with just the most incredible guy ever with his blonde hair and gold eyes, I froze, Lily didn't seem to notice. They went on about how he was the best kisser ever. At that I went to the showers to cool down. They seemed to fallow me. Finally I'd had enough and was on my way out when the shadowhunter ran in to me.

"OH, sorry I wasn't watching were I was walking" she exclaimed, obviously texting someone on the phone. She looked up at her friends and asked a question that made me go stiff as a board.

"Hey do you know a girl named" looking down at her phone and up again."Clary Morgenstern"