Well, let's start with Mulch, since he was the one who wanted me to do this…
What can I say about Mulch? He's an…interesting person. All dwarfs are interesting, but, well, I think he's the weirdest of them all. He's a good friend all the same though, and a good partner in the detective business (when he's not eating me out of house and home). Oh well. At least he's someone to talk to instead of being lonely. And what I would do without all his not-quite-legal contacts, I don't know. Funny, because I used to be in a job where I'd have to put him in jail for doing things that I ask him to do now. Technically, of course, I still should put him in jail, but I don't have that power anymore, even if I wanted to. At least I have a new understanding of why criminals do crime now…
So basically, like I said, Mulch is a friend and, recently, a business partner. Although I must say, I thought I'd seen 'weird' before, but I hadn't really seen it at all until I started reading these fanfictions. I mean, that one where I was in love with him…that was just scary. It was amusing too, though, in a strange sort of way. Actually, I collapsed laughing when I read it. Me! In love with Mulch! Honestly!
Anyway, that's basically my summary of him. If he's reading this, though, I want him to know that I'm only doing this because—well! For once I don't have a decent excuse. But if he does something…unexpected with this, or any of these summaries, he's in BIG trouble…