The Matrix: Retarded
Part 2
Chapt. 4 of BT Banana
Neo lay in the comfy hospital bed talked with the little Buddhist kind who sat on a chair beside him. The kid had had some weird idea that he might be the one a while ago, and had come to visit Neo to see what the real One was like. He was teaching him to bend spoons.
"Remember, there is no spoon," the kid said, "Then you will se that it is you who bends, not the spoon!"
Neo concentrated hard. Then, success! The spoon bent backwards very fast. Too fast. It struck the little boy in the eye. He gave out a high- pitched scream then fainted on the floor, a black eye already coming out.
As Neo guiltily turned away, Trinity and Morpheus ran into the room.
"OW!" they turned away rubbing their heads. Then they ran through the door to Neo's bed.
"Neo! The doctor says you're fine and that you can leave now!" cried Trinity happily.
"Great!" said Neo. He got out of bed, edged carefully around Morpheus, (He was still a little wary of Morpheus since the chocolate spread incident) then walked out of the room with them.
A while later they were strolling through the barren wasteland around Zion when they heard a rumble.
"Sentinels!" said Trinity.
"Cheese!" said Morpheus. Neo punched Morpheus in the face and he snapped out of it. Then they began to run as fast as they could. As they mounted a hill, Neo turned. His face looked grave.
"Neo?"
"I.I feel somehow different." Neo said ominously. As the sentinel reared up, ready to strike, Neo raised his hand towards it, just as he had done to the bullets in that corridor. Then a large and unpleasant fart rent the air.
"Oh, sorry!" Neo mumbled, embarrassed. "That's probably what I was feeling!"
They turned and ran once more. They managed to lose the sentinel after three days of running, but a new threat now faced them.
"Mr. Anderson. I am unpleasantly surprised to see you up and about after the beating I gave you on the ship."
Agent Smith stood on a hill above them. He was wearing a sinister pink tutu.
"Let's finish this prick once and for all!" cried Neo.
"Yeah!" agreed Morpheus and Trinity in unison. They charged.
"I see dead people!" roared Neo.
"I am your father!" screamed Trinity.
"Cheesecake!" shouted Morpheus.
They reached him. It was a short battle. Trinity swung a punch at his head (in bullet-time of course) made contact, but then lost her footing on the pebbles on the hill, and fell to a bone cracking demise. Morpheus dived clumsily at Smith, and missed him by about three feet. He stumbled, and then he too tumbled to his death grinning like an idiot.
Neo however made good contact and did his weird 'lumps up the arm' thing inside Smith, and then, with a shriek, Smith was gone.
Neo lay in the dust, biting his toes, and relishing the victory over his rival, but crying over the lose of his two best friends. And they all lived happily ever after.
Part 2
Chapt. 4 of BT Banana
Neo lay in the comfy hospital bed talked with the little Buddhist kind who sat on a chair beside him. The kid had had some weird idea that he might be the one a while ago, and had come to visit Neo to see what the real One was like. He was teaching him to bend spoons.
"Remember, there is no spoon," the kid said, "Then you will se that it is you who bends, not the spoon!"
Neo concentrated hard. Then, success! The spoon bent backwards very fast. Too fast. It struck the little boy in the eye. He gave out a high- pitched scream then fainted on the floor, a black eye already coming out.
As Neo guiltily turned away, Trinity and Morpheus ran into the room.
"OW!" they turned away rubbing their heads. Then they ran through the door to Neo's bed.
"Neo! The doctor says you're fine and that you can leave now!" cried Trinity happily.
"Great!" said Neo. He got out of bed, edged carefully around Morpheus, (He was still a little wary of Morpheus since the chocolate spread incident) then walked out of the room with them.
A while later they were strolling through the barren wasteland around Zion when they heard a rumble.
"Sentinels!" said Trinity.
"Cheese!" said Morpheus. Neo punched Morpheus in the face and he snapped out of it. Then they began to run as fast as they could. As they mounted a hill, Neo turned. His face looked grave.
"Neo?"
"I.I feel somehow different." Neo said ominously. As the sentinel reared up, ready to strike, Neo raised his hand towards it, just as he had done to the bullets in that corridor. Then a large and unpleasant fart rent the air.
"Oh, sorry!" Neo mumbled, embarrassed. "That's probably what I was feeling!"
They turned and ran once more. They managed to lose the sentinel after three days of running, but a new threat now faced them.
"Mr. Anderson. I am unpleasantly surprised to see you up and about after the beating I gave you on the ship."
Agent Smith stood on a hill above them. He was wearing a sinister pink tutu.
"Let's finish this prick once and for all!" cried Neo.
"Yeah!" agreed Morpheus and Trinity in unison. They charged.
"I see dead people!" roared Neo.
"I am your father!" screamed Trinity.
"Cheesecake!" shouted Morpheus.
They reached him. It was a short battle. Trinity swung a punch at his head (in bullet-time of course) made contact, but then lost her footing on the pebbles on the hill, and fell to a bone cracking demise. Morpheus dived clumsily at Smith, and missed him by about three feet. He stumbled, and then he too tumbled to his death grinning like an idiot.
Neo however made good contact and did his weird 'lumps up the arm' thing inside Smith, and then, with a shriek, Smith was gone.
Neo lay in the dust, biting his toes, and relishing the victory over his rival, but crying over the lose of his two best friends. And they all lived happily ever after.