I care for you, Mihael and Mail

by BeyondTheKilljoy

Near refuses to say seven words.

I place the die upon the others

I place my emptiness next to my hollowness

I show no feeling – why should I?

I care for you, Mihael and Mail.

The words that will never leave my lips

For the ears that will never hear them

Not here, and not in the land beyond

I know they will go to another place than I

In the life after this

The justice in them so strong, while to me it is a game

They lost

Kira lost

L lost

I win, with no celebration

The price of my choice

My choice to show no emotions

My choice to be cold

I care for you, Mihael and Mail

Dead words that would fall into dead hearing

My hair entwines into my fingers

My pale fingers – so cold

I look down, ignoring the empty feeling in my chest

Their decision…so strong

To die for justice, whereas I remain forever safe

I lay down on my stomach

The feeling of nausea ever-present

The guilt I feel

I care for you, Mihael and Mail

These words cannot ring true

They were my opponents

My enemies

Brought together by justice

Killed by justice

And I could not have the strength to join them

I have no meaning of justice

Only of a game

I will never lose – emotions get in the way

Emotions bring bonds and lead to indecision

Emotions can't be played like a game

I can't play with caring

But still…

I care for you, Mihael and Mail

I blink away a tear that will never streak down my cheek

And banish the words that will never leave my lips

I pick up the die