Rewritten version of the first chapter. Because I realized what I wrote was crap and that's probably why no one wants to read my story. I SWEAR IT GETS BETTER!
**warning to those who will read, Ed swears… a lot…**
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its ideas. Trust me; Ed would be at least half a foot taller if this was the case.
Life as a Chimera
Chapter 1: A Clouded Past
I began to think that I wouldn't see the sun again. It's not like there are any windows in an underground prison, and to try and escape was to rival death itself. Not to mention the threat of going back there.
Glancing up at the ceiling, I stared momentarily at the fluorescent bulbs harsh light before looking away. Can't be blinding yourself during training Edward, my conscious chided, Keep your grip on reality. But what is reality? Am I really here, stuck in the military's merciless hands? Am I really training to be used as a mindless weapon? No. I still have my conscious, that pessimistic bastard. It was never lost in the transmutation.
A noise to my left puts my nerves on edge and as it grows louder, I spin on spot. The uniforms we're given are a huge change from what I was used to fighting in, a thick outfit and even heavier trench coat, but it was an easy adjustment. It feels like floating, to be honest, but that just means I have to watch my step more often.
As I flew from my spot, my hands connected with the shoulders of my attacker and I flipped onto his back. Within moments I had him pinned onto the ground, half conscious. The guards, though, thought I was going AWOL and trying to kill him. Looking up, I saw several guns pointed at my head. Just the usual.
"He's fine," I say, my ears flicking down in a gesture of anger, "I just knocked him out for a few minutes."
"Edward, we have no inclination to believe that," one guard shouted.
"We're not going to have you start a riot now, are we?" The chief security guard walked up and told the other two to lower their guns, a large grin written on his face.
"No, Chief. I don't plan on rebelling any time soon," a smile plays at my mouth. Chief has to be one of the more tolerable people here. He's not hell-bent on trying to kill me like the rest of the security guards, or the scientists for that matter.
"Good. Return to your training Edward. Good luck to you!" The man turned and walked away. His shortly cropped brown hair was graying, the evidence not only in the hair tucked under his blue military hat, but in the moustache he had grown in the past month. It was still weird seeing Chief with a moustache.
The guards returned to their post as the unconscious man by my feet began to stir. Moments before he grabbed my leg, I jumped onto his back again.
"Wouldn't want to make you pass out again, Joseph. I already won," I laughed as he frowned.
"Yeah, get off me ya brat," Joseph sighed and stood, putting his hand in front of him. I took it and shook hard, upset that my palm was surrounded by his. But I smiled anyway, not showing my discomfort.
"You fight well for someone so young, Edward. How old are you supposed to be?"
"Fifteen, sixteen, something like that," I shrugged and turned to look towards the other training pairs. How long had I been in here for? I'm pretty sure it's only been three years… Only three years… it seemed like a lifetime has already gone by.
Another pair finishes their training in a style similar to how Joseph and I ended, though without the guards personally scaring the shit out of them. I think they just hate me. I scanned the room, searching for some of the other Chimera I'm more familiar with when a scream shatters through the room. Glancing around, we quickly realized it was coming from the lab and not one of us, but the fading sound is still unnerving. Are the humans getting weaker, or is the method of transmutation changing?
I shrugged the thought off and walked towards the lunch cafeteria. The guards were already escorting some of the inmates in now, so lunch had to be starting soon. Then senses training, swimming, showers and bed… I hate this schedule. The old one was much better. I barely have time to do any planning… I tried to glance down the hall that led to the Imperfect's lab when a guard brought a few other Chimera up behind me.
"Start moving Edward. You're not supposed to be snooping around like that," my tail flicked as the guard pushed the butt of his gun into my back. I wanted to rip the cold metal out of his hand and see the look on his face when he realized he was defenseless, but I'm not that kind of monster. At least when I'm calm…
After going through routine, I settled back into my dorm room for the night. The plain room was built to house four comfortably and five or six if the lab was ever too full, but I only shared it with a wiry boy named Charley. His animal was a mocking bird. Being as thin as he is, I guess they planned on using him for spy missions. The boy's memory is perfect, and it's a bit strange when you hear him imitate somebody.
As I sat on my bed, I listened to Charley begin to sing for the night. No doubt it could be heard in other rooms bordering ours, but no one ever said a word of complaint. His songs were one of the only things in the barren prison that could be called beautiful. But sometimes, if one listens to the actual lyrics of the piece, it can certainly drown them in memories, and my mind was feeling mighty weak to fight off the barrage tonight.
0~*~_~*~0
My leg was a bloodied mess, torn off by the hands of the Gate. I don't really remember much else of that night, except for Mother's mangled body sprawled out in front of me, choking on the faint embers of life I had given it. And of course, my run back to the Rockbell's house, where Al was lying in bed, sick from a nasty fever. Thank the Gate he's safe. He didn't get hurt. I didn't drag him into this…
Upon entering the house and recovering, I realized how much I was scolded. By Alphonse, for not telling him; Pinako for even attempting the taboo; Winry for making her think I was going to die; and then a strange man from the Eastern Command Center. His name was Roy Mustang; excuse me, Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang. The raven haired man had come to see what all the fuss was about with a genius alchemist in the middle of nowhere. He found a ten-year old with a broken dream and God-complex.
Roy offered a place in the military for me; State Alchemist Edward Elric. I listened hard and still remember every word.
"You would be able to research whatever you'd like from our libraries. The Eastern Library has nothing on Central's, but it is still better than what you could find around here. There might be a way to even get your body back."
It was a nice promise, but I didn't want to take it. What I wanted to do was look up what my father had really been researching. All the notes on human transmutation had to come from somewhere.
Alphonse took me up to the house and we poured into the books once again. Even though we had lost the hope of getting Mother back, we still wanted to learn more about alchemy.
Our father's books were about bio-alchemy. Most had nothing to do with us, too advanced for anyone but a true scientist to bother reading. But there were a few that stood out; a book about the Philosopher's Stone and all of its fables, including a piece about the abandoned city of Xerxes, another being my mother's hand-written cook book and Hohenheim's notes strewn throughout. As they say, alchemy was born in the kitchen.
The last book we bothered reading was out of place. Bio-Alchemy: A Beginners Guide to Engineering Life. Al passed over it, thinking it was a book on human transmutation, but when we leafed through it later, it was more a guide on how to heal a still living human with alchemy.
We were instantly hooked. If this was a guide to how an alchemist can help others, Al was all over it. He was tired of hearing how our friend's parents or siblings would die in farm accidents and no doctor being able to save them. I could agree, and I knew it might have also helped with finding a way to get my leg back.
In the back, there were a few names scrawled in our father's messy handwriting.
"Doctor Tim Marcoh… the numbers are too faded to read, Brother. I wonder who he was," Al said quietly before moving on, "And then there is an address for a man named Majhal. It doesn't say if he was an alchemist or- Brother look! There's a number for an alchemic doctor! Maybe we can call him and get lessons or something!" Al was thrilled. Alchemist doctor Augustus Bern… who has a name like Augustus, I told Al, but he was too busy trying to convince Granny to let us call him.
To be honest, I was excited to take up alchemy lessons again. Our old sensei, Izumi Curtis, would never forgive me for what I had done. She was also no expert in biological alchemy. I had Alphonse call Doctor Bern and ask if he would take us in as pupils. At first the answer was no, but Al called every night and asked politely until he got yes for an answer. Granted that was about three months after we started calling, and my automail was barely ready to be walked on, but it worked.
The day I decided my rehabilitation was over, Al and I packed our bags and were off to the Doctors house, which wasn't a very long distance from Winry's, to my surprise. A short ride in a coach and we were there, staring at a mansion. Al's eyes had never been so wide in his life, and I guess he had good reason. We had never been to a home this lavishly furnished, yet so silent as well.
We trained for months under Doctor Bern, learning the simple basics of apothecary to being able to transmute living beings. Everything was set in such an even pattern that neither one of us realized the Doctor's actions. Hiding in his basement more often, getting shipments of rare plants and animals for his research and a visit from a State officer. And when we finally realized what was going on, it was far too late.
Alphonse had gone down for individual study as he always did Wednesday nights. I remember what he told me later as if I had seen it myself.
"Well, he was waiting for me in his laboratory this time. It took a while for me to navigate down, and when I finally had, the room was dark. I heard a bit of chalk hitting the ground violently and knew that Sensei was drawing a transmutation circle. When I opened the door, he dropped the chalk and stood. Clapping his hands together, Sensei walked over to the door and shut it softly. He turned on the lights and revealed the circle on the ground. I knew it resembled a human transmutation circle, but there was everything wrong with it. The lines were crooked in odd places and the signs written into the triangles had been changed.
"I heard a soft shuffling looked farther back in the room. There stood two solid rows of cages. Some were filled with creatures- Chimera I remember thinking- that looked gaunt and in pain. Sensei explained to me that none of his creations really seemed to last longer than he hoped, but now he thought he had the solution. When combining two animals, one will never take the lead and the two will mesh together, whether perfectly or not. The animal also had no soul, no will to live like humans. At this point, I knew what he was planning to do and I began to back up to the door. I was stopped by his grasp and felt a needle work its way into my arm."
The sub-zero liquid froze his movements and fogged up his mind. Alphonse said he didn't know what happened next, but that he remembered the flash of a transmutation circle and heard a wolf howl in the back of his mind. When Alphonse woke, it appeared that he was stuck in the body of a wolf with his human mind still functioning. Bern told him that the instincts of an animal were strong, but he knew that Al's will was stronger. Alphonse looked at himself again and began to whine.
"Change me back," he told me in a small voice, "I don't want this. Make me human again." The pain in his eyes was almost too much to bear. It was certainly too much for a ten-year old to be expected to deal with. He told me that he had scraped at the edges of the burnt circle, trying to change it into a less harsh symbol. His paws, though possessing an almost human palm and thumb, couldn't grasp the chalk as he tried to write a different circle overtop of the original.
"'We can't be having you act like this now, can we? I have to prepare the room for your brother. Maybe I can get the theory right this time," Bern had told Alphonse as he moved him into a crate. Al sat against the corner, not registering exactly what had been said. Bern told Al that he was trying to create a perfect human; one with enlightened senses and the sixth sense that seemed to evade most humans, the ability to sense a change in emotions or danger. It seemed even scientists believed that animals had that sense, though no solid research could ever prove it.
After hearing the howl, I myself woke up and found Al's bed still empty. I ran downstairs to the basement, the only place I knew Bern was going to be. I opened the door and peered in to see Bern on the ground, fixing his broken circle. From the way Al described it, the symbols were switched in different places, normally the ones for spirit and body.
"Sensei… where is Al?" I asked quietly, leaving the door open behind me.
"Ed, come sit over here with me. I have something to ask you," Bern ignored my question until I sat down. It was close to the circle, but I wasn't bother by it for some odd reason.
"Your brother has fallen ill. He said he thinks it was because of a medicine we were trying to make and the fumes that came from combining the leaves of tea and ginseng," Bern's tone changed as he looked at me, "Edward, can I see your automail leg for a moment?"
I wondered why he would want to, but still rolled my pants leg up to the port.
"What if I told you I knew how to get your leg back to you?" He began, turning my leg from side to side. What he was explaining seemed ridiculous, combining two separate beings in order to get one perfectly made body. Basically turning me into a Chimera; and I wasn't too thrilled with that idea.
"Sensei, I think I'll pass. The automail isn't that bad, and I really don't want to get caught up in human transmutations again," I said, moving to stand. Within moments, Bern jerked my leg forward and grabbed a tool off his desk, fitting it onto my automail and forcefully ripping the leg out of the port.
"W-what the hell was that for?" I tried to stand and balance myself on one leg, but Bern was still faster. Grabbing my wrists, he bound them together behind me and threw me into the center of the circle.
"You really think I'd let you get away like that, Edward? I've got so much planned for you, it wouldn't make much sense, would it?" He smiled, something Al and I had never seen him do before, and walked to the back of the room where the cages were. I could hear him murmuring about which animal to choose, or if he should use a Chimera that was already transmuted. While his attention was distracted, I tried worming my way out of the circle when I heard a familiar sound.
"Nya~?" Bern's cat walked in through the empty door, its tail twitching to and fro.
"That blasted cat again, I swear I'm going to- you know what, that sounds like a wonderful idea!" Bern rushed past me and grabbed the cat, pushing me back into the circle after he threw it down.
"Alright Edward, we're here to make history!" Bern threw his hands onto the ground and the light from the transmutation flared instantaneously, blinding me as well.
I didn't remember screaming, or feeling anything really, except a tingling feeling that started at my feet and slowly moved up the expanse of my body. By the time the tingling had stopped, so had the blinding light.
"Well… you're almost perfect," Bern said, his voice seeming louder than I remembered. I opened my eyes, expecting to see his face in front of mine, but instead the creep was sitting in the same position he had when the transmutation began.
"Those ears will make going into public hard and the tail probably doesn't help," he spoke again, rubbing his chin. Ears? I began moving my hands, trying to untie the rope put on me by Bern without attracting his attention. My gaze never left his, but I could feel something moving on the top of my head, swiveling rapidly around, absorbing every sound in the room. I felt something soft flick against my leg and knew that had to be the tail he was talking about.
"Edward, do you understand me? Do you know what I'm saying?" Are you kidding me? Did the idiot think I had gone brain dead. No, he thinks you're part cat, which is obviously mental. There we are, first time my asshole conscious decided to pipe up.
"Untie me," I growled, no really meaning to. My voice sounded almost foreign, too deep.
"Not if you're going to act like that. I need you to be here when my cowrokers from Central arrive," Bern to a step towards me at the wrong time; I had just gotten the rope around my hands loose.
Pivoting on the small area I had, unbalanced by my left leg being gone, I was somehow able to knock Bern off of his feet with my other leg. As soon as he was on the ground, I was at his throat.
"I think your little experiment failed, Bern. I still don't have my left leg. What did I get in return but a half broken body?" My face was inches above his. Thinking back, I remember recognizing a smell in the back of my mind; fear. It smelled an awful lot like sweat.
"Why did you do this? What did the men from Central want out of you, and why'd you have to drag me into it?" As I shouted I felt my body tense up. What was this, some after-transmutation effects? But I couldn't stop my roll. I had to hear the answers from a man I once trusted, "Where is Alphonse? Did you go and drag him into this? Answer me, dammit!" My muscles were on fire, adrenaline coursing through my system. I wanted to end his life, right there. No holding back, no regrets.
"Tell-me-what-you-did-with-Al-phonse!" I said, punching the doctor in the face multiple times, each harder than the last. Soon he was unconscious and bleeding, but I couldn't stop. I had to end it. He couldn't harm anyone else if I did.
"Ed-ward," I stopped at the sound of a raspy voice. I turned my head, looking for the source of the noise and was met with a pair of wide golden-brown eyes staring at me.
"A-Al?"
"Brother… stop it. Don't hit him any… anymore…" the voice said again. I moved to the cage and unlocked it, letting my brother-turned-Chimera out. I gasped, seeing as his entire body was swallowed inside of the wolf's, nothing left but the color of his hair and eyes. He sat in front of me and looked me over with eyes filled with grief.
"Brother… you didn't…" he stopped and dropped his head. I never knew what I didn't do according to Alphonse, but it didn't matter. I put a hand on his head, my tail curling around my feet as we sat in silence on the cold floor. The room fell eerily silent, the Chimera in the back ceasing their pacing and gazing upon us with their own sad eyes.
0~*~_~*~0
After crudely reattaching my automail, Al made me check to see if I had actually killed Bern when punching him. The bastard was lucky he was alive, but the luck stopped there. I grabbed his silver State Alchemist's pocket watch, looking it over as I stood from his limp body.
"We're going to have to say he retired," I told Al as I started to walk out of the basement, "He won't receive any more funding, and maybe we'll even find out what his friends in Central wanted. Best of all, no one will have to know who we even are." Alphonse asked who we could trust enough to leave it at just retirement. The Colonel's smug face came to mind immediately.
"An old friend," I said while smirking as we made it to our room.
"We should try the main road first," Al said, sitting stock still by the foot of his bed. Coming up the steps he had tripped a few times, but was otherwise adjusting to his new body quickly.
"Yeah, but we run a higher risk of running into someone from the military…" I sat on the foot of my own bed, looking my hands over. So far it seemed the ears and tail were the only thing betraying my transmutation. And if Al just kept his mouth shut, no one would really look twice at him. Of course, the problem was going to be keeping his mouth shut.
"There is the stream…" Al's voice shook as he spoke. How much did it hurt for him to say the simplest of things? Would he ever be able to chatter on like before without trouble? I shook my head, too many questions were piling up.
"Yeah… We'll just have to get to the Rockbell's as fast as possible. Set traps like we did on Yock Island. This should be easy! We can last a week like this," I said, hopping off the bed. I didn't doubt that Al could see through my guise of cheer, but it didn't matter. I had to think on the bright side of things now. Let myself get swallowed in sadness and there would be no end to our struggle.
Alphonse and I set out, deciding to take the river route rather than even chance a government guard finding us. It wasn't hard considering that we had survived living by ourselves for a month without provisions, but the true task of survival came on the last night. Al swore he could smell Granny's cooking on the air, and I had to agree, we were close to someone's house. There was just another scent in layers that made me a little more worried.
"Al, you smell horrible," I sat down, holding my nose. He looked up at me from across the campfire and snorted.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he said slowly.
"Because it wasn't this bad. But seriously, you smell disgusting. Go jump in the river or something," I turned my head away from Al, my ears twitching somewhat. It was quite a different feeling, I'm telling you, feeling your ears actually move. But at the moment, it came in handy. A twig snapped to my right, my eyes and ears doing the same within moments. Not ten feet away was a wolf, staring at me like a sniper stares down the barrel of his gone.
"Al… Al, get up," I froze, my eyes not leaving the wolves. Sounds began to burst around me, things I had never heard before: a pack mate's breathe to the side of the first wolf, another sniffing at something, probably our fire. Al's whimpers were twice as loud, almost like daggers in my ears.
"Brother…"
"Just get up and run! Go!" my body finally unfroze, giving me enough time to stand and push Al out of the way of the first wolf's charge. My little brother hesitated before running, giving another wolf time to nip at his shoulder.
"Go! Just go!" I shouted, kicking the animal off of my brother. He finally kicked into high gear, darting away from the oncoming predators before I could regain my composure.
It seemed like miles that we ran before the wolves caught up. Al and I thought we had finally gotten rid of the small pack when one jumped from the foliage in front of us and bit at my arm. Al turned and dug his claws into the wolf's side, pushing me from behind and yelling for me to run again. The pack had caught up and were now teasing us like prey.
Each attack was slower than the last, my blood slowly feeding out of my body as I tried to keep the attackers at bay. But the wolves were smart; they knew they would win if they just waited. But I couldn't let them win, not when we were so close to Winry's. I kicked out at the closest wolf, taking the opening and following moments of confusion to turn and run again. Al was close behind me, attacking any wolf that got close enough to try and attack us first.
"C'mon, just a little farther. Just a little, we can-" I almost froze. In front of me lay Mother's broken body, just as it had on the day of the transmutation.
"Mom…? Mom? Mom! Mom, please-!" I began running again, reaching out for her. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't get any closer; only farther away. Beside me I heard Al whisper something, but it didn't matter. I had to reach Mom in time. If I could, I could finish what I started and save her.
"Mom! Mom-" THUD! My vision blacked out as I slid towards the ground.
"Brother, we're here. You don't have to run anymore, the wolves, they're gone," Al's voice was quiet, but rapidly paced.
"Where is she, Al? Mother, where'd she go?"
"She isn't here, Brother," Al's fuzzy face floated into my vision. Inside of the house I could hear shuffling, someone running down the stairs and Winry and Pinako shouting things at each other.
"She isn't, is she…" I looked at Al and tried to stand, my legs buckling underneath of me, feeling numb. After all, I had just ran four or five miles without stopping.
"This sucks! This is just a nice load of bullshit! I can't walk, and you can't even knock on the door to get Winry and- this just freaking sucks!" I shouted, pounding my still functional arm into the dirt. I heard the door swing open, my ears pinning back against my head and tail disappearing somewhere under my shirt instinctively.
"Ed?" Winry's small voice came from on the porch.
"Y-yeah?" I looked up, hoping my eyes hadn't begun to look feline.
"What are you doing here? You didn't even call before coming back from your training! This is the second time that's happened Ed and- what happened to your arm?" Winry ran down the steps and tried to pull me up, succeeding enough to get me to lean against the house.
"Just a wolf attack, no biggy," I said, trying to stand again. I looked up, trying to find where Alphonse had tried to hide himself. A brush on my bleeding arm made me yelp, then start yelling.
"Why the hell would you hide on that side of me, dumbass?" Yeah, I was definitely hysterical at the moment. Al's ears pinned back against his head and his tail curled under his body.
"Oh, you know I didn't mean it. Just… that hurt," I tried to tap him with my arm, but it wouldn't move. This was going to be an issue.
"Ed, what are you talking about? C'mon into the house," Winry pulled me up, letting me lean on her while my legs regained feeling. Al followed quietly, his tail still tucked underneath of his stomach.
"Granny! I need bandages!" Winry shouted as soon as we got inside the warm building, also right into my ear.
"Ow, that hurt you know. You can be a bit softer," I shied away from her slightly, trying to lean against the wall.
"Stop being a baby and sit down," Winry was in her doctor mode. Anything I said or did would be met with silence or a wrench. Pinako walked in with a roll of bandages, holding the same attitude.
Pinako and Winry were able to patch up my arm without threat of amputation and Al's wounds as well, but as soon as the doctoring was over, Winry was back at asking me a million questions again.
"Why didn't you just take a carriage to get here?" She walked behind me the whole way back to the guest room.
"Because…"
"It would have been a lot smarter! Did something happen to your teacher?" She pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat down, ignoring Al like he wasn't even there.
"Kinda…"
"Well what happened? Did he just not want to teach you anymore or were you finished with your lessons?"
"Something like that…"
"Would you please answer my questions straightforward Ed?"
"I thought I was," I took a breath, flinching when I realized one of my ribs was either bruised or fractured.
"Oh great, you've got more injuries-"
"No, I'm fine, I swear," I looked up quickly, staring at Winry. She was already half out of her seat, but I couldn't let her do anymore doctoring. She'd find out what happened if she did.
"You aren't fine, Ed! You need to go to the hospital!"
"I can't go to the hospital!"
"Just because you're scared of needles doesn't mean you can just skip going to the hospital!"
"It has nothing to do with that!"
"Oh really, then why can't you go?"
"I- I just can't. That's why. I can't," I paused, gripping the bed sheets.
"Ed… where's Al?" Winry was staring at the ground.
"He… he's here," I said quietly, silently hoping that she wouldn't hear me.
"Where, Ed? I haven't seen him since you got here," Winry looked up, her hands drawn close to her chest.
"You've just been ignoring him the whole time," I turned my head towards the window, my ears coming slightly unglued from my head.
"What do you…" I heard Al shuffle over to Winry and lay his head on her knee.
"I'm sorry… Winry…" Al muttered.
Silence.
I turned around, my ears finally flicking out completely. Winry was still staring at Alphonse, trying to grasp that the horrifically unnatural Chimera in front of her was still a human she had been friends with.
"Is… is this what…" Winry was at a loss for words.
"It's why we can't go to a hospital. It's why we didn't take a carriage here, and why we have to stay out of town. We can't do anything anymore because that asshole of a teacher called the military. They're expecting to arrive at his house and be greeted by a conscious man and his two subordinate Chimera, and they're going to get none of that," I gripped the sheets harder, my tail twitching viciously at the tip.
"Ed… Al…"
"Just go… Winry," I laid down, turning over onto my side, ready to ignore any other questions she had. But there were none. She stood and left silently, leaving me with only Al's whimpering and my own thoughts for company.
0~*~_~*~0
The next day I woke with my arm on fire, my chest feeling as if a bull was sitting on it and my head full of lead. It hurt to move, to listen, to breathe; it hurt to live, really. After seeing Winry's reaction to Al and I, it didn't feel like there was even much to live for anymore. No parents, our only living family not caring anymore, and no identity to make a life on.
I attempted to sit up again, but was rewarded with more crushing pain. Down the hall were footsteps, telling me I needed to either sit up and face whoever it was or lie down and sleep again. I chose the latter of course.
The door creaked open, something I had just noticed it start doing last night. The footsteps drew closer until they were next to the bed.
Winry.
She pulled the chair up from last night and sat, her breathing slow and steady.
"Ed, you just keep getting yourself into all sorts of trouble…" she said and I could hear the fabric of her shirt ripple and move as she stretched her arm out. My ear flicked when she touched the tip of it, reminding her that it was really there. I expected her to flinch and pull away, but to my surprise, Winry began running her fingers through my hair, touching the base of my new feline ears each time.
My ear flicked to the side again, Alphonse was stretching himself out, startling Winry into drawing her hand back.
"Ah, Al…" Winry turned in her seat, giving me enough time to turn onto my side. Winry turned around again, meeting my eyes with her own stormy blue orbs. She blushed, then mustered up a serious face, "How? How does this always happen to you? Do you just go searching for trouble?"
"Ah- I- no! Why would we do that?" I tried sitting up, but flinched again.
"You big baby," Winry stood slightly, helping me sit up.
"Thanks… And for the record, we don't go searching for trouble. Only an idiot does that. Trouble just seems to find us, more often than not…"
"Heh, yeah…" It was silent again, save our breathing.
"Ed…" Winry was staring at her lap again.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry… for the way I acted last night. It was just so much to take in and-" her shoulders started shaking, signaling the arrival of fresh tears.
"Win, it's okay," I could feel my gaze soften.
"No it wasn't! I shouldn't have acted like that, especially when this was the only place where you two could come! It was way out of line and- and if I made you feel unwelcome, I'm extremely sorry! You're always welcome here, no matter what happens!" Winry's head jerked up, spilling the tears across her face.
"Eh… thanks, Winry…"
0~*~_~*~0
The next couple of weeks were painfully slow, and exceptionally painful. It felt as if I was recovering from getting automail again, just with a living, feeling limb. Al's smaller wounds took forever to heal as well, pushing well on a month before his fur had begun to grow back.
After finally being able to move my arm without feeling any pain whatsoever, Alphonse and I decided to head to the Eastern Command Center. Winry offered to buy me a new outfit to help me blend in better with the crowd, and after being threatened with her beastly tools it wasn't like I could say no.
Pinning my ears back against my head, Al and I walked cautiously through the small town. A migraine was working its way into my head, spoiling all of the "happy reunions" I was having with the people of Resembool.
"Brother," Al said when we were alone, "You should get a hat or something. Maybe grow your hair out so it wouldn't hurt to pin your ears back." Al's speech had rapidly recovered during our recovery time, and he was turning back into his old chatterbox self, "And a thick belt would hide your tail."
"Yeah, well you should talk less," I murmured jokingly. I still did take his advice, finding a thick brown leather belt to wrap my tail under. Checking around in the other shops for the rest of my outfit, I finished it off with a nice black fedora, matching my style and hiding the bulk of my ears.
"Hm, I look sharp, don't I Al?" I said, sliding my finger along the rim of the hat.
"You look like an idiot," Al mumbled, trying to suppress his laughter. Winry walked in moments later, grocery bag in tow.
"You look good, Ed! You'll fit in just fine in East City. Just promise you'll be home soon!"
That night we left on the train. The ECC was two days away by train, but the minutes seemed to fly until I was standing in front of the Lt. Colonel, placing the silver watch on his desk.
"Resignation?" Mustang asked. His black eyed showed no warmth, though I knew they had the capacity.
"Yes," I nodded curtly.
"It just doesn't sound like Doctor Bern to want to resign at all. And he sent you to deliver his message?" One eyebrow raised, the Roy's iced eyes tried to look past my mask. It wasn't going to work. I've gotten too good at fooling people.
"He trusts me. I'm his star pupil after all," Alphonse made a coughing sound that could only be a laugh and sat down next to my feet. I smiled a bit, and then became solemn again, "He was also unconscious the last time I saw him, and I believe he's still ill. Bern told me not to call a 'normal' doctor, that he'd be fine. But I think he knew that he wouldn't recover from this. It's just easier to say resignation."
"Hm... weird. I'll send an alchemic doctor that way after you depart. Where's Alphonse? It's a bit weird that he's not with you."
"Al's back at the station waiting for me. He told me to tell you hello and that he's sorry that he couldn't make it," I said.
"Tell him that I said it was fine and hello as well. You want to ask me anything else?" the Lt. Colonel sat up.
"Not at all, sir."
"You know the State Alchemists Exam is in three months. I'd study if I were you."
"Thank you for telling me, but I don't think I want to become a State Alchemist," I remember feeling the ghost of a smile tease my face.
That took the dark-haired Lt. Colonel by surprise. I was a genius; only twelve and I could outperform so many other candidates for the slot. I could transmute by solely clapping my hands- something no other alchemist had even seen. The thing was, I hadn't performed alchemy since the night I was changed. I didn't know if it was still possible.
"A-alright, Edward," Mustang stood and shook my hand, his face still burdened by confusion.
I turned to walk to the door, Al still sitting on the faded blue carpet.
"Well c'mon, we have a train to catch," I said, nodding my head towards the door. Alphonse stood and looked at the Lt. Colonel before following at my heel. Why hadn't they asked about him yet? Maybe they just always expect things to be different with you?
Mustang, still standing, sighed.
"Edward, you know you can trust me, right? Not all adults are bad," it sounded as if he was mocking me. A part of me knew he wasn't, it was just a rare moment when Mustang was being sincere. After all, he had kept my human transmutation a secret. But another, slightly larger part of me grew angry with his words.
"What would you know? And why do you think I'm always hiding something?" my body tensed against my will.
"Is your brother really at the station, Ed?"
I stopped and turned to look at him, then to Second Lieutenant Hawkeye. They seemed nice, trustworthy, the closest thing I would ever have to family- if I joined the military that was. Mustang's eyes were hard, boring into mine before glancing at Alphonse, "Well, is he?"
My jaw tightened. Did I risk telling them? Would someone else overhear our conversation and drag Alphonse and I away? And would my other secrets be leaked as well? As I thought back, I laughed. Even if they were, it didn't seem that the government cared.
Alphonse lowered his head, glancing up at me for a moment. Our eyes locked, and I knew I had to say something before he would.
"He's right here." Mustang, I swear if a soul else knows, you will feel my wrath. Right after I'm done watching Bern face his firing squad.
"Alphonse is right in this room. That's why I said resignation. To be honest, Bern and his co-workers should all be set in front of a firing squad," I said as took off my red jacket. The loose-fitting belt was next, my tail unfurling from its warm hideout. I took my hat off next, letting my ears flick out. Before I began talking, my tail began to swish from side to side. I now know that's a sign of agitation and anxiety in cats.
"He turned us into experiments. When my brother didn't turn out the way Bern envisioned, he didn't hesitate to restart with me as the new base. It's really not that hard when you think about it, change a few symbols here and there in a human transmutation circle and you have a whole new Chimera. But I still wasn't perfect, as you can tell," I paused, letting them absorb the information.
"Ed…" Riza said softly. I knew she had seen a lot in her life, but highly doubted human Chimera, or any Chimera really, was on her list. Al and I were one of a kind.
And to speak of the Gate, Al decided to pipe up as well, "We're sorry we lied to you… I really didn't want to frighten you or anything." Al did the exact opposite of what he wanted. Riza and the Lt. Colonel both tensed, neither saying a thing. But as the seconds ticked by, Roy's calm demeanor had settled back into place.
"So this is what you meant by 'easier to say resignation'," Mustang's voice wavered slightly.
"Yup…" I grabbed my hat from its resting spot, setting it precariously over my ears before putting the belt and jacket back on. The silence that floated through the air wasn't awkward, but threaded with anxiety.
After fighting my tail to go back under my belt, I turned towards the door again.
"I'm sorry to have bothered you with that. We'll be heading back to Resembool," my face was hidden by shadow.
"I didn't know Edward Elric just as much a coward as he is small," Mustang sighed, shifting his weight.
"Who're you calling a super tiny pipsqueak kitten?" I turned, waving my fist in the air.
"Brother he said nothing like that," Al sighed.
"Kitten, eh? Maybe I should convince the Fuhrer to let that be your second name," the Lt. Colonel acted as if he was framing a name with his hands, "Kitten Alchemist, the boy that strikes fear in all mice; that is, if you could catch one."
"You better be damned sure I can catch a mouse!" It was Riza's turn to sigh.
"Well, maybe that's what you can do to show us your skills during the test then," Roy placed his hand on the table. His tone said something harsher: Get up. You're going to be a State Alchemist, and you're going to like it. That's an order.
"Trust me; I'll have something twice as good planned. I won't disappoint," my smirk and tone held their own meaning: Three months is too long. Let me just kick your ass now and get my title.
0~*~_~*~0
It's safe to say I suffered a bit of brain damage after returning to Resembool. After inflicting said brain damage, Winry continued to verbally freak out. I was going to get caught, I was going to go to jail, I was going to get killed- the usual things I hear out of Winry. I told her to calm down and that I wasn't just going to go alone.
"Al? But I thought you were trying to stay hidden," Winry whispered during lunch.
"What, Al can't come with me?" I said through a mouthful of beef. Not gonna say I stopped eating vegetables, just not as much as I used to. Meat just tastes better.
"Well, he just doesn't look like a normal dog, or really anything you could say he is other than a Chimera," Winry continued to whisper, as if Al couldn't hear her.
"Well, for one, he isn't a dog, or even a dog Chimera. He's part wolf. Two, he can hear every word you say, so I'd watch your mouth. Maybe he has rabies or something and we don't know it yet… I wonder if we can get rabies… or if we'd freak out if we had it…"
"Ed, you're thinking out loud again," Winry slumped her shoulders. Yeah, that happened a lot too, thinking out loud. It is, again, another cat thing. Winry is just lucky the cat I was fused with wasn't Siamese.
"Who cares? And Al is still coming with me."
Three months really was too long. In the first two, I went back to our old house and studied book after book, reading almost everyone in the house. After making sure that I had everything memorized and could effectively draw each transmutation circle, I decided to finally practice.
"Brother, what will you transmute?" Alphonse sat on a knoll that was between our house and the Rockbell's. There was a slight breeze in flowing past us, carrying the scent of someone's cooking.
"I honestly don't know," I said, looking around. I sat on the grass and looked at the sky for what seemed like hours. Al nudged me and asked again.
"Don't bother me," I said while flopping onto the grass. I wanted to curl up here and sleep for the rest of the night. Such a comfortable place to do so too; I could sleep away the worries of the exam ahead of me, right here in the soft downy patch of grass. I wanted to transmute a pillow, but what the heck are pillows made out of? Surely not stone, and that's all I have to work with.
"Brother, please don't ignore me. I'll get Winry's wrench!"
I knew Al wouldn't do it, but the thought of the wrench forced me to sit up. Yeah Winry was mad that I was joining the military, but there wasn't any way she was going to let me ignore the chance just for a good nap.
I clapped my hands together and hit the ground. A nice little cage for Alphonse. Then I can frickin' sleep. The Earth below sunk around Al and formed neat bars around him.
"Don't do that to me!" Al shouted as he nosed his way through the cage. I really shouldn't have. His last experience in a cage wasn't the most pleasant.
"Don't ignore me, don't do this to me, don't do that to me, blah blah blah!" I said mocking Al. He huffed and pushed into me with his broad head.
"You make me so mad. Who's the older brother?"
"Well I don't know. You seem to whine all the time and I'm a lazy good-for-nothing. We'll just say twins from now on," I joked while patting his head.
"So you can still perform alchemy. I'm glad all our study time wasn't wasted," Al said in a small voice.
"Don't worry Al, I'll find a way to get you back to normal, and then you can use alchemy all you want," I responded, picking up on his hint of sadness.
The writing exam was as easy as slicing a knife with hot butter. It almost hurts just to try and remember everything that was on the test. Imagine the hardest test you've ever taken, double it, add in some stoichiometry, if you know what that is, and a pinch of thing you have no chance of knowing and you have the State Alchemist's Exam. Actually, that's still probably easier.
"Brother you got the highest score on the test! How is that possible?" I had to smack Al for speaking in public. We went back to the hotel room we had reserved for the week to talk.
"It wasn't the highest score. Some guy who took this test three times got it perfect," I said while kicking off my boots.
"Oh sorry, the highest score of anyone who has taken it for the first time. First time! They have to let you be a State Alchemist!" Alphonse began to walk around the room, unable to contain himself.
"If that's the case, the three-peater will get in before me. I've got two other tests that need aced, if you can't remember," I sat onto the couch and stretched out. Tomorrow's test was just showing off my ability to transmute. Later that day I would be asked a series of questions to see if my moral capacity was up to the test.
What can I transmute though? Is it in a group setting, or with just the judge panel? And how am I going to answer the other questions? Why did I really want to join the military? I fell asleep with the questions spinning viciously through my head. I woke up the next morning and got dressed, feeling nervous as ever.
"Wish me luck Alphonse," I said walking into the building. Al nodded and sat patiently by one of the support beams.
It turns out the transmutation test was going to be behind closed doors in front of small panel of judges. Before I began, another man walked into the room. His hair was black with a few grey flecks here and there and his one good eye was a mixture of blue and green. I asked the guard beside me who he was and why he was here.
"You idiot! That's the leader of this nation, Fuhrer King Bradley!" Right after the man stated that, he and his partner saluted the Fuhrer.
"Hm, so what…" I huffed. His appearance gave me a good idea. I heard the Fuhrer comment on me being the youngest alchemist to try out for this exam and he wanted to see if I was really up to the challenge. His voice sounded pleasant and warm, but a cold undertone ran through it. I noticed that he stood off to the side of his accompaniment, as if he would catch a contagious disease from being close to them. This guy was a prick.
"Edward Elric, you may now begin the exam. You have fifteen minutes to impress us with your physical understanding of alchemy."
Originally I was going to go with the boring approach, just show them a step-by-step process of the three steps of alchemy, but the Fuhrer's appearance upset me and threw me off balance. I made a different, slightly riskier plan.
Clapping my hands together, I placed them onto the ground in front of me. I drew out the shaft of a spear, grabbing the finished blade and standing still for a moment. Let them mutter all they want about this, it's nothing. At least, nothing compared to what I did next.
I charged forward, thankful for the hybrid muscles in my legs, and placed the blade of the spear right below the chin of Fuhrer Bradley. If I wanted, I could have killed him right there. I heard the guards behind me hold guns to my head, but I didn't relax.
"This is honestly the perfect way to assassinate the King, Mr. Bradley. I'd rethink the way you conducted your exams in the future," I said flatly.
The Fuhrer laughed, "You're completely right; I am at sort of a disadvantage here, aren't I?" His hand moved at lightning speed, unsheathing his blade, slicing through the softer spears shaft and then returning his sword to its sheath. I saw it all happen, but wasn't fast enough to move. This guy is super-human! How could he- I stopped myself. Maybe he was experimented on as well. Or maybe he was just really really fast.
Walking off, the Fuhrer stated, "But you see Edward, I also have the complete upper hand." My blade fell onto the floor, a clean cut severed through the shaft. Everyone else was surprised, but I stood solemnly, upset, but not raging.
The next test was going to prove difficult. I still hadn't decided the other reason to trying to enter the military. I couldn't say to get my body back, because that implies that my body has issues, and I'm not going for a physical examination. What else could I truly want to gain out of entering the military?
The harsh light glared above me, my head being shadowed by my hat. Thank the Gate for hats. The panel that oversaw my transmutation was replaced by what seemed to be a group of scientists. They asked me the ever imposing question.
"Well…" I sat for a minute then decided on my final answer, "I plan on joining the military for more than one reason. There are certain people that I have to protect, including the general innocent public. My second reason has to do a lot with wanting to protect them. I believe that I need the resources of the military's libraries and other alchemists in order to further my knowledge of biological alchemy. I want to become an alchemic doctor for the people," my face was almost emotionless, if one counts stubbornness as an emotion.
"Thank you Mister Elric for your answer. We will inform you on your placement in the military within the week," one man said as the guard ushered me out.
Alphonse was fussing over a cat that was hiding in the bushes. He wanted it to trust him, but being pestered by a three-foot-tall dog like human isn't really an act of trust.
"Really Alphonse? That's how you spend your time?" I asked mockingly. The cat came to me immediately, but was still cautious of my brother.
We walked to the house in silence, the cat following me as it tried to play with the fabric of my pants legs. The little thing had finally warmed up to Alphonse. It was trying to hop onto his back when we reached the hotel room.
"Kitty, you can't come in with us, okay. I'm going to bring you some food, but that's it. Got it?" The cat stared at me, but sat contently outside our door and began to clean itself. Thankfully that was a trait I didn't get ingrained into my mind.
"You just like it because it's a cat Brother," Al said when the door closed. He jumped onto the couch and curled up.
"Not true!" I shouted and pulled some leftovers out of the fridge. Placing a piece of chicken onto a dish, I set it out on the porch and watched the cat devour it.
The week passed painfully slow after that. If you can't tell, I'm not one to wait. Ever. The only good thing that came out of the wait was that I could catch up on my sleep. Then I got the letter from the Eastern Command Center
"To Mister Edward Elric," I read aloud, "You have been summoned by Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang to his office for a meeting. Please arrive at the Command Center by 11:00 tomorrow sharp. -The staff of Mr. Lt. Colonel Mustang. Al, do you think…" I set the letter down, "I swear if he calls me to his office just to rub it in my face that I didn't get accepted-!"
"Why would he request you just for that? It'd be easier for him to just come to the hotel room," Al said.
"Hm…"
"Well I'm not going by myself. C'mon Alphonse," I called. Al continued to lie on the couch. I walked over and placed my foot gently on his head, "Wake up you filthy mutt! I said I'm not going by myself!" After pushing his head around with my foot, I was rewarded with a set of teeth in my boot.
"Don't call me that," he said through a full mouth.
"Stop calling me short then. And get up!" I jerked my foot out of his mouth and opened the door.
"Brother, your hat!" Al grabbed my hat from the table and gave it to me.
"Thanks. Can't be forgetting that."
We walked to Mustang's office in silence. I knocked on the familiar door and was greeted by Second Lieutenant Hawkeye.
"Ed, Al, it's a pleasure to see you again. I take it you got the Lt. Colonel's letter," she said warmly and opened the door wider.
"Yeah. Tell him not to be so formal next time," Alphonse and I walked into the bright room. Roy's chair was turned towards the windows, rocking back and forth slowly.
"Sit down Edward," his voice called from behind the chair. I took a seat, Al sitting next to me. The Lt. Colonel turned around. His eye's belonged to a different person. Bags underneath suggested that he had little sleep in his routine lately.
"Yes Mustang?"
"A letter for you arrived in the mail yesterday. It's from the Fuhrer himself," Mustang handed me an unopened manila envelope. I opened it and took out to piece of paper. It felt like stiff, like cardboard. No slip of paper that said, 'sorry, you failed' would feel this important.
"To Mister Edward Elric of Resembool, Amestris. You have been chosen to join the elite military corps known as the State Alchemist of Amestris. You will be requested during times of war to serve your country and in times of peace, you will be given a salary to compensate for any research you and your colleagues might partake in. Your second name, as given by Fuhrer King Bradley himself will be the Fullmetal Alchemist…" the rest of the notification proceeded to state the three major laws a State Alchemist must abide by. I think I read them out loud, but nothing really sank in. I had passed; I was a State Alchemist now. I could finally begin research to get Al's body back to normal.
"The Fuhrer seems to have a sense of humor, not only with your leg being made of metal, but your stubborn will as well. You must have caused quite a ruckus in the physical examination," the Lt. Colonel chuckled. I explained what I had done and he laughed again, "You're going to get yourself killed if you don't calm down, Fullmetal."
"It's my style. And I think the name fits just perfectly. Much better than that Kitten bullshit you were trying to pull," Mustang smirked and tossed a silver watch to me.
"This is your certification as a State Alchemist. Its silver was combined with a metal that enhances the abilities of an Alchemist, not that you truly need it. Lose that and you lose your pass to anything that requires being a State Alchemist. Other than that, you're free to go," Mustang explained.
I bowed, "thank you, sir," then turned and walked out of the room. Wait until Winry sees this! I thought in my head. Alphonse and I boarded the train that evening and were in Resembool bright and early the next morning.
0~*~_~*~0
Thinking back, I now know that I shouldn't have listened to Roy's advice. Just because I stood up after one devastation didn't mean I had to throw myself into stronger currents still. I should have told him I was fine with living in my body and that I would continue to live in Resembool with Winry and Pinako. But honestly, I would have thought to myself, in a warm bed rather than this cold prison room, what fun is that? Safety? Would I have honestly traded Al and my safety for our pain and seclusion? No. I honestly don't believe I regret following the dream I had three years ago.
"Edward, you still awake?" I heard Charley ask.
"Yeah. What's on your mind?" I whispered back. Ten minutes ago, lights were out and we were forbidden to talk. But you know how I am with rules and all that.
"I'm just worried about tomorrow. Chief said we're eating lunch early and some of us are being taken back for protocol checks and such. It makes me wonder if there will be a new release soon, or one of those competitions that you and the other inmates talk about. I don't know if I would survive it," Charley's usual sweet tone was replaced by raw fear. I could agree with him though. My endurance is nothing compared to some of the other Chimera here, and my alchemy was strictly forbidden; that would be my trump card in the real world.
"Don't worry Charley. You're not supposed to be a fighter. The scientists know that. Just rest easy tonight and take what comes tomorrow like a normal day," I turned onto my side and stared at the wall. Turning onto my stomach, I looked at the wall in front of me. Charley continued to toss and turn for hours and I had no desire to sleep.
"Charley, did you sing before you were brought here?"
"All the time. My mother taught me most of the songs I sing and my father would take us to the woods and we would sing to the birds all the time. That was what happened the day I was taken. Mother and Father were walking on the path back home and I ran ahead. Two soldiers grabbed me and tied me up; throwing out what looked like a doll of me. A mountain lion was let out of a cage to attack the doll. One of the men untied my mouth and the other began to cut my arms until I screamed. Before passing out, I heard my mother and father run to the spot I was, only to find the mangled body of their twelve-year-old son. I woke in the laboratory and was being tested to see if I was functional or not. The rest is history," Charley's voice was shaking throughout the whole story. I knew he was crying.
"Charley…"
"Yeah Ed?"
"Don't worry. I'll make sure you see your parents again soon. I swear on my half human life," I said slowly. Charley chuckled, remembering the argument between a Chimera and guard about how we weren't human. So what, we're more human than they'll ever be.
Charley knew exactly what I meant. My planned escape was going to happen soon. Most of us would be able to see the sun again in a matter of days. The others had volunteered to stay behind and keep the guards busy for us. I just needed to know the week spot of this fortress and whoever was going on the mission scheduled for tomorrow would tell me that.
The fact that Charley knew what I was thinking seemed to calm him down. In just a matter of weeks, days even, I'd put my plan into action. We'd escape, and be able to feel the warmth of the sun again. I just needed to find the chink the laboratory's armor and we'd be free. Home free.
"Thanks Edward. I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight Charley."
Didn't I tell you it was better? I figured the last half of this chapter was actually written close to my other chapters, but I still had to tweak it. You better all be happy I don't plan on rewriting chapter's two through five now!
Six is on its way, six is on its way! And it should be a good chapter! Can't wait until this story is right in the meat… you know, a bacon cheeseburger sounds really good right now… crap, Ed's rubbing off on me. Gonna let you savor this nice rewrite for a moment before I post six, and then it's to the meat of the story (baaaacooooonnnnnnnn~! X3)