Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith
Fic by Anonymous Donor
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys or the song. I just thought this would be funny.
Warnings: AU, cross dressing, a bit of OOC
Pairings: 2x5
//lyrics//
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
//Cruise into a bar on the shore//
I, the well known Chinese crime ring leader, pulled up in his Beemer. I tilted his shades to look around.
//Her picture graced the grime on the door//
She was the first I saw come through the door as I sat at the bar, sipping my rum and coke. He looked her over. 'Not bad,' I thought to myself. Long chestnut brown hair, big blue violet eyes, body encased in a short black dress.
//She's a long lost love at first bite//
She smiled at me and took the seat beside me. Her perfume was as intoxicating as the alcohol I was sipping. "Is this seat taken, sug?" she asked in a southern accent that rolled down like honey.
"It is now, babe." She smiled sweetly again at me, blue eyes sparkling under those long, dark lashes.
//Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right
That's right//
"So, what brings you too a place like this?" I asked, trying for some casual conversation. She was sitting rather close and I could smell the sweet strawberry fragrance of her shampoo.
"I'm just here for a drink."
//Backstage we're havin' the time
of our live until somebody say//
I took her backstage at the club I owned. She was all over me like white on rice on a paper plate in the middle of a snow storm. And was she hot! I was having a good time, trying to get under the skirts skirt, when she stopped me.
//Forgive me if I seem out of line//
"What's wrong, baby? You wanted me to a minute ago." She smiled and pulled away.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Chang, but…"
//Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!//
She reached under that dress and pulled out a .38 special, aiming at my head. Shit. "Whoa, baby! I think there's a misunderstanding!"
"No, there isn't," she said, that southern accent still as sweet as molasses. She flipped open a billfold to reveal a badge. "I'm Agent Duo Maxwell of the FBI. You're under arrest." Duo? That sounded like a guy…
//That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady//
Was she a guy or a chick? Damn, but she looked the part of the sexy siren she was. What in the hell…
//Never judge a book by it's cover//
Guess I shouldn't have picked up on her right away. Me and my hormones. They always get me in trouble.
//or who you gonna love by your lover//
"Look, babe. I think this can all be rectified somehow."
"Yeah, by putting your ass in the federal pen!" That sweet voice was almost a growl now, but still feminine.
//Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise//
Damn, but this was embarrassing. I was all over a guy in drag. Or at least I think that's what's going on.
//She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise.//
"Just answer me one question."
"What's that, Chang?"
"Are you really a guy?"
"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."
//That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady//
Could it get any worse? I want to get under a guys skirt? Damn!
//So baby let me follow you down (let me take a peek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me all night)//
"Come on, babe. Maybe I can change your mind about this."
The guy smirked. "I doubt it."
"You gonna let me try?"
//Baby let me follow you down (turn the other cheek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me, do me)//
"Hm… Yes."
//Oo, what a funky lady
Oo, she like it, like it, like it, like that.
Oo he was a lady!//
She was a he! But not bad either. I think I changed his mind about it… He'll be back for more.
//That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady//
Fic by Anonymous Donor
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys or the song. I just thought this would be funny.
Warnings: AU, cross dressing, a bit of OOC
Pairings: 2x5
//lyrics//
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
//Cruise into a bar on the shore//
I, the well known Chinese crime ring leader, pulled up in his Beemer. I tilted his shades to look around.
//Her picture graced the grime on the door//
She was the first I saw come through the door as I sat at the bar, sipping my rum and coke. He looked her over. 'Not bad,' I thought to myself. Long chestnut brown hair, big blue violet eyes, body encased in a short black dress.
//She's a long lost love at first bite//
She smiled at me and took the seat beside me. Her perfume was as intoxicating as the alcohol I was sipping. "Is this seat taken, sug?" she asked in a southern accent that rolled down like honey.
"It is now, babe." She smiled sweetly again at me, blue eyes sparkling under those long, dark lashes.
//Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right
That's right//
"So, what brings you too a place like this?" I asked, trying for some casual conversation. She was sitting rather close and I could smell the sweet strawberry fragrance of her shampoo.
"I'm just here for a drink."
//Backstage we're havin' the time
of our live until somebody say//
I took her backstage at the club I owned. She was all over me like white on rice on a paper plate in the middle of a snow storm. And was she hot! I was having a good time, trying to get under the skirts skirt, when she stopped me.
//Forgive me if I seem out of line//
"What's wrong, baby? You wanted me to a minute ago." She smiled and pulled away.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Chang, but…"
//Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!//
She reached under that dress and pulled out a .38 special, aiming at my head. Shit. "Whoa, baby! I think there's a misunderstanding!"
"No, there isn't," she said, that southern accent still as sweet as molasses. She flipped open a billfold to reveal a badge. "I'm Agent Duo Maxwell of the FBI. You're under arrest." Duo? That sounded like a guy…
//That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady//
Was she a guy or a chick? Damn, but she looked the part of the sexy siren she was. What in the hell…
//Never judge a book by it's cover//
Guess I shouldn't have picked up on her right away. Me and my hormones. They always get me in trouble.
//or who you gonna love by your lover//
"Look, babe. I think this can all be rectified somehow."
"Yeah, by putting your ass in the federal pen!" That sweet voice was almost a growl now, but still feminine.
//Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise//
Damn, but this was embarrassing. I was all over a guy in drag. Or at least I think that's what's going on.
//She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise.//
"Just answer me one question."
"What's that, Chang?"
"Are you really a guy?"
"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."
//That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady//
Could it get any worse? I want to get under a guys skirt? Damn!
//So baby let me follow you down (let me take a peek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me all night)//
"Come on, babe. Maybe I can change your mind about this."
The guy smirked. "I doubt it."
"You gonna let me try?"
//Baby let me follow you down (turn the other cheek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me, do me)//
"Hm… Yes."
//Oo, what a funky lady
Oo, she like it, like it, like it, like that.
Oo he was a lady!//
She was a he! But not bad either. I think I changed his mind about it… He'll be back for more.
//That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady//