Captain Jack Sparrow began to drift back into hazy consciousness. He didn't remember where he was, but it couldn't be too bad because somebody was nibbling on his ear. Well, that wasn't always a good sign, he reminded himself. For example there was the Pelegosto cannibal tribe. But that had been noticeably less friendly.
"Careful, love," he exclaimed, flinching from a sharp nip. He couldn't remember her name, but he could work around that.
Come to think of it, he didn't even remember if it were a she. He was starting to hope not. If it were a man, he might be attractive. If it were a woman, though, he was being tickled by rather too many whiskers for her to be pretty. Best to take his time working that out, though, so if necessary he could make a cleaner escape. He put his arm around his companion.
It was then that Jack heard somebody laughing, and not his new acquaintance, whoever he or she was. This was a man standing a few yards away. Jack got a sinking feeling in his stomach. It must be a woman with a mustache… or an exceedingly ugly man… if somebody were actually bothering to stop and laugh that hard.
"Baaa," somebody said into Jack's ear. He opened his eyes. The goat picked up his hat and began to trot down the road.
Jack stood up, brushed himself off, and addressed a man practically falling over with laughter. "Let's see you with such a pretty goat." Stumbling off after her, he thought that if even if he couldn't catch his hat, most women would do worse.