A/N: Woosh! Another story. And HEY! I took some of the authors that I know, and smashed them together into this little piece. :P And yes, I wrote this entire thing by myself, and the styles...:P I contacted them and made them rewrite it in their own style. Except Kuro, who has no current connection and don't reply for weeks on end. ;--; Dangit, get a new laptop! Also: GOMEN KURO! I DUN THINK I CAPTURED YOUR WRITING WELL!!! Unless about monkeys...
You may know these authors whom I am using for this fiction, and yes, I have a connection with them. Anyhoo...
...this is a dedication fic. Dedicated to all my friends who are featured here! THANK YOU GUYS!!! And I probably will bug you to rewrite stuff. :P Anyhoos...here is the short and sweet summary.
---See why the most insane authors…do not write together…for DOOM will…befall Ouran. THE APOCALYPSE IS NEAR!!! Featuring: Literate, Koko Roco, -xKuroHinotex-, and yours truly.
Disclaimer: I don't own Literate, Koko Roco, or -xKuroHinotex-...cus...they are human. :P And I don't own Ouran Highschool Host Club
KEY:
-KuroHinotex- is...SAM.
Literate is...LIT.
Koko Roco is...COCO.
Demi-kun is...DEMI.
THIS HAD NOT BEEN BETA'D.
One plus zero…equals peace…
---
She was just strolling down the street…when a magical rock was placed in her path. Unbeknownst, she tripped and cracked her head on the blazing concrete.
Chemicals oozed out from her brain, causing her to think…way…different from normal society. NORMAL never registers in her brain. Never…ever. For normal is a foreign word…it is an 'it-who-should-not-be-named-ever' type of thing.
Taping up her fractured skull with duct tape, this fifteen year old had to release the chemical inside her brain…and so…she became…an authoress. (Kind of scary…but who am I talking?)
Now…the girl lives in a small house by the lapping ocean, the door to the house was never opened for anyone…because it was sealed with duct tape. She spends her day and night over a desk, drinking hot chocolate while scribbling words onto a page of her book.
Torturing innocent and faultless characters and blowing out onto them all her problems. Now these characters of Ouran shiver and cringe in fear, while this girl launches her evil schemes…
And they all have a damn rock to blame.
---
ENTER: -xKUROHINOTEx-!!!
---
-Sam joined the chat-
She materialized in an empty world. But not in just an empty world…
There was a large table sitting in the middle of the room. Sam walked to the middle and sat down in one of the reclining chairs. Sprawled on the wooden surface were papers…and pencil, there was pen. A stack of composition books. She picked up the pencil and looked at it in wonder and curiosity…
---
One plus one…equals insanity…
---
She was just an innocent browser. Someone who searched on the web boringly. Her life used to be on one of the most known forums and writing stories in which only one person read. Until someone showed her new light, by shining the flashlight in her eyes. This fourteen year old has seen the new light, and it wasn't JUST the artificial bulb.
…It was FANFICTION!
Being speechless of this new power under her fingertips, she began to read. And read. And read. And write and write and write.
…Until the M-rated section ate away her brain. And until…the number of smut fics that she read…came to a close. To release her perverted-ness, she shut herself in a dark putrid room, slouching over a brightened laptop screen in the darkness. She typed madly and giggled; she tormented her characters…
Lashing at them lemon and lime, misfortune and angst…all of them compiled into four hundred and going pages of her numerous stories. Those at Ouran scream in terror as they watch their fate fall before them in just simple type-written words.
This girl drove them to the brink of insanity…
---
ENTER: LITERATE!!!
---
-Lit joined the chat-
Glancing around, the rather tall teen saw someone sitting in a chair in the middle of the table. A laptop was fit snug tucked underneath her arm, as she neared the large table. This person looked older than she, but she dared not question. She had been brought here for a reason.
Lit sat down on a reclining chair next to Sam, and looked around at the empty space. "So…who are you?"
"Sam."
"Lit."
Crooked smiles were exchanged, as their minds brew on what else they could do to torture their innocent characters. The new 'space' where they were summoned contained the things that they most needed to deliver unfortunate events.
---
Two plus one…equals unbalance!
---
She was just walking in the bookstore. Everyone was hush and quiet, everyone was reading. She was making her way to the Ouran section where she heard a strange 'Gush' at her feet. As it was revealed, she had accidentally STEPPED on a bottle of bleach.
The liquid and chemical traveled up her leg and shot into her brain, causing her to have a mental problem. This thirteen-year old was hospitalized but later released as it was said that the bleach did nothing to her.
However. She felt a strange feeling and experienced for the first time in her life: Craziness.
To release this dangerous flow of thinking, she buried herself into a large white laundry basket in a deserted room. A laptop was held snug inside, as she typed words that brought light and fluffy scenes to her characters.
In the meantime, she brought misfortune and drove them head over heels of hurts. Characters of Ouran embrace themselves for a long drive of never-ending and painful fun, as this authoress kept typing…
---
ENTER: KOKOROCO!!!
---
-Coco joined the chat-
"Woah…" was the first thing that came out of her mouth as she was zapped into the world of emptiness. She saw a familiar form sitting in one reclining chair and she exclaimed: "Hi, Lit!!!"
"Ah. So you are summoned here as well," Lit said with a wave of her hand. Coco nodded and wandered over to sit at the last reclining chair there was, facing the large wooden table. She stared at Sam, who just waved. "By the way, this is Sam. Sam…this is Coco."
They exchanged smiles, and said their hellos.
"SAM. HI. WAKA LAKA COMPELS YOU."
---
Three plus one…equals OVERLOAD!
---
She was just sitting in the pews of the Church, as bored as can be. She was very unsuspecting and very…very…un-weird. When someone sitting besides her popped bubblegum into his mouth, and she smelled the strawberry scent.
Something in that bubblegum made her brain distorted, and she immediately snapped the guy's neck in half. (On purpose of course.) After that homicide, she understood the calling of her life.
To bring fun to the world was her calling, and she obeyed.
To release all this distorted and mentally challenged brain, she withheld herself inside of a magical broom closet, making a home inside of the rather large space. She created the world of the CLOSET IN CONTROL, and now sleeps in the Hitachiin's closet.
Typing quickly onto her black laptop, she brings misfortune and defies logic with just a snap of her fingers.
She sits alone with a can of green tea nearby, typing and laughing at the misfortunes she assigns to her characters. The poor victims of her logic-defying works and actions are wary of the unpredictable 'twelve-year' old as she torments them just for her own amusement.
Because she was bored. Just bored.
And believe it or not…she was twelve.
Yes.
And she just turned thirteen.
---
ENTER: DEMI-KUN!!!
---
-Demi joined the chat-
"WELCOME ALL!!!" she screeched, flinging her arms into the air. "NOW! I have talked to you individually about COLLABING! YES, all of us TOGETHER! Would it not be awesome?!" Demi queried, as she walked towards the table. A lone chair appeared on the opposite side of the table and she stood over it. A smirk was on her face, and she said. "I welcome you all to this space where we call…chat."
"Sam. Lit. Coco. Welcome…to the big…project," Demi announced, the white beret was about to fall off her head. She swished a paintbrush and twirled it in the air. "We will…work together and make smiles and laughter to all people who read!!!"
She threw her hands into the air.
Sam and Coco clapped their hands at Demi's speech, while a hand was raised.
"Yes! You—Lit!"
"Uhm…how do I exactly…make smiles…when I erm…write yaoi."
BZP
A portrait of horror and shock was plastered on the remaining three's face, as they stared speechless at the fourteen-year old girl. They exclaimed, "You write YAOI?!"
"Uhm. Yes," she said, putting a finger in the air. "Demi, you should already know, I'm your sister. Sam…it doesn't concern you, neither does it to you, Coco."
"How painfully cold," Sam hiccupped, while casting herself away from Lit on her rolling chair. Demi nodded in agreement, but instantly recovered and pushed up her glasses on her face.
"Yes, I was just doing that for the perks, anyways. You are wonderful as being a sadist. However refrain from making…uhm…you know…smut. But anyways. Our plan here…" A devious smile came about her features. "Is Operation: Overload."
Everyone remained silent, as the beret-wearing girl walked around.
"Judging by our operation, we…are going to overload the universe of Ouran…with as much genres we can possibly FIT in the universe!!!" she cried triumphantly. "Now…we shall think of the most random…random things. We make drabbles, things that don't make sense. And…I require your full cooperation."
The three authoresses looked at each other.
"I know Sam has a tough time in the future and two hours behind, BUT!" Demi said. "She has given me the permission to write as she does, and I hope I can carry that out to the best of my ability."
Sam nodded, and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. She stood up and the two other girls looked at her. "I…am SO proud to be a part of Operation: Overload. And I hope that I'll enjoy this. Thank you."
Everyone stared at her as she at back down.
"…Er…uncalled for, but anyways. Lit, I require you to donate some of your mind," Demi said bluntly. Lit held her head and shook it. "Not literally, idiot." She turned to the shortest girl who was busily working on her computer. "Uhm. Coco, if you don't mind if I pop up and ask you some things…"
"Nope, not at all, go ahead!" she replied, and then she gave a smile. Demi nodded, satisfied; she sat down.
"Sam…may you please begin the story…" Demi commanded, placing her trusty laptop in front of her as she took a seat.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Really really?"
"…"
"Okay, I'll do that," she said. The fifteen year old authoress took a notebook with a pen in hand, a determined look came about her face. She began to jot down words quickly onto the page. As she wrote down words, the same words appeared upon the other three's screens.
Demi was watching with a smirk, Lit was a bored expression, and Coco was tapping the keyboard lightly reading the words that appeared on her screen.
---Into the Ouran Universe…
It was a normal day. A smashing day that befell the pleasant world. Birds were chirping, but that contradicted the mood that was set by the Host Club members. They were sighing deeply, looking anywhere but at the customers.
Kyoya could have said something that they were losing their customer's favor, or that they weren't entertaining the young ladies, but he too…fell quiet, only glancing out the windows distantly with nostalgic eyes.
(Demi: Dud, how could he be NOSTALGIC?)
(Sam: It's a matter of…I DUNNO, WHAZzAHECK! Continuing!)
Even the twins seemed to have quieted down; they sensed that acting up would only make everything seem worse. Hunny's cake was hardly ever touched, and he was clutching his Usa-chan while glancing at the marble floor. Mori did not say anything for his thoughts made him part of another world.
(Demi: Ooh…serious…I thought we're gonna make it a parody…o.O)
(Sam: …Oh?)
(Demi: Lit, Coco, are you in on this?)
(Coco: I HAVE HOMEWORK K.)
(Lit: …sorry was reading yaoi.)
(Demi: You guys…)
Even the scholarship brunette was silent; she did not charm her share of the customers. She only had her nose in a book, ignoring the quiet murmurs and talks of the girls. Everyone had noticed the absence of the president. And he was…
GETTING CHASED BY TRIBAL MONKEYS RIGHT OUTSIDE IN THE COURTYARD!!!!121!WOO!!!
(Sam: Spoofy enough for you? –winks-)
(Demi: -gapes in surprise- Tribal monkeys? O.o)
(Sam: Yep. You can go, Demi. :D)
(Demi: …Okay.)
Tamaki was dangling outside on a tree. Monkeys popped up and multiplied by the dozens as bananas do throughout the anime show.
(Lit: By 'multiplied' do you mean-)
(Demi: No, I do not.)
He wasn't sure why he was being chased. Or WHY the hell there were millions of banana peels lying haphazardly along the floor. The blonde did remember tripping on one and crashing into a tree. Then the monkeys came and ran after him, saying that he had walk in on their property.
"You blonde human being!" one said, throwing a fist up at Tamaki. "You have walked in on our property!"
"I said I was sorry!!!" Tamaki cried. He hung onto the branch for dear life. But you see, dear readers, Tamaki had completely forgotten that monkeys…could climb. And that is sad. Because he was seized and carried off into the wilderness.
"Hey…HEY…HELP!!!" he screamed, being drowned in the sea of monkeys. "OMIGOD, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"
---Up at the Host Club
'Ah. I can hear him, already…' everyone thought in unison, as the faint screaming continued. The customers went about with their stuff as everyone remained as quiet as usual, listening to the 'melodious' music that was going on outside.
(Sam: Haha. xD; Melodious music?!)
(Lit: xDDDDDDDD)
That was why they were quiet. The twins snickered softly under their breath, as Kyouya stared down from the window looking at the wave of brown carrying a pale blue figure They were waiting for the scream that said that Tamaki was about to be carried out into the woods. He placed a hand to his head and shook his head.
"What…an idiot…"
Honey had resumed life and he threw his Usa-chan into the air and swallowed the cake. He said informatively to the tall senior. "Tama-chan is about to be carried out into the woods, Takashi! Do you think he'll bring a souvenir?"
"…Maybe," the soft-spoken one said randomly. Haruhi settled down her book and thought in her head.
'Maybe the monkeys were a bit overboard. They got rid of Tamaki-sempai…' Haruhi thought, as she blinked and looked out into the window. From afar, she could see the parade of the wild animals retreat with her loud-mouthed sempai.
'…What a relief.'
(Sam: …-sweat drops-)
(Lit: xDDDD –still laughing-)
(Coco: xD LOL HAHAHAHA)
(Demi: -smiles-)
Tamaki never returned after a half an hour. In truth he found himself in quite a dilemma; his hands were tied behind his back, and his feet were tied to the branch. He was dangling upside down over boiling soup. He could feel the steam waft into his face, and he gulped, and he saw the monkeys chanting around the cauldron, in some unknown language but they sounded spoof-tastic.
Carrots, turnips, and other greens were tossed inside, and the monkeys came to a stop of marching around the boiling pot. An elderly monkey stepped up and held up a book and spread out his arms, announcing. "Tonight…WE SHALL FEAST!"
"YEAAAAH!!" they roared.
"We shall…thank our Monkey God for such a blessing bestowed upon us…" the elder said, clapping his hands together. The elder whacked Tamaki in the head. "SUCH A BOUNTIFUL MEAL OF A FRENCH-JAPANESE HIGHSCHOOL STUDENT!"
Tamaki turned pale and became white. Where were the Host members when he needed them the most?!
(Lit: Drinking tea sophisticatedly.)
(Coco: xD; They're listening to him scream!)
(Sam: Wait, are they gonna cook him? o.o)
(Demi: …Oh NO, Sam. They aren't gonna cook him. They just have him hanging upside down over a boiling pot of water for no reason.)
"HEEEELP!!!"
---Host Club
"Kyouya-sempai, should we retrieve Tamaki-sempai?" Haruhi queried on their break. The raven-haired teen paused in writing his notebook and he looked up at the ceiling.
"I…believe that we're losing profit by letting Tamaki wander…"
"Hai! So are we gonna rescue Tama-chan?!" Honey asked, bounding up to them energetically. Mori followed after him. The twins came up after them and listened to Honey yapper. "OPERATION: SAVE TAMA-CHAN FROM MONKEYS!!!"
The twins waved their hands simultaneously and they said, "Nah, nah. It was quiet-"
"-while it lasted," Hikaru ended. Everyone stared at him and at the sudden cut-off with their twin stereo. It then proves to be that Kaoru was currently staring out the window in horror at the smoke that was slowly rising into the air.
…
"Takashi, are monkeys man-eating?"
(Lit: xDDDDD;)
(Coco: -laughs- OF COURSE THEY ARE.)
(Demi: Tis Coco's turn. Unless Sam wants to do it.)
(Sam: -cannot write Tamaki's demise-)
(Coco: OH, I'D BE HONORED TO. :'D)
Strangely the blonde Suoh was taken down form the custody of the branches and was placed on the floor, while monkeys pressed sharp sticks into him. They were probably trying to stick the things in so they could cook him.
"Elder!" the smallest of the monkeys cried, as he finished combing through Tamaki's blonde hair. "Upon skinning him of fur…I…found…THIS! YES! IT'S BRILLIANT!" And it stuck out it's primate hands and held between the fingers.
…was white hair?
Everyone gasped. No, it couldn't be- just couldn't—but then—does that mean--?
Tamaki…is-is…old?
"W-We…are going to devour a-an OLD MAN?!" one screeched.
Kami, that was gross.
GASP.
They took a step back as if he contained rabies, and were waiting to rip them apart with his sharp…sharp teeth. But no- Tamaki was not caring of the monkeys right now. He was caring of the thin strip of hair held in the monkey's hands.
"That's--that's…IMPOSSIBLE!!! I am…PRINCE! I CANNOT HAVE SUCH A THING LOITERING IN MY MASS OF BEAUTIFUL, LUSCIOUS HAIR!!!" he gasped. "I AM TOO YOUNG TO BECOME ONE WITH THE OLD GENTLEMEN! I HAVE A YOUTHFUL LIFE TO LOOK AFTER AND---!"
The monkeys were not listening to him anymore.
The monkeys were playing board games boringly, waiting for his I-got-a-white-hair speech...
...Or denial.
Bum, bum, bum…
"Oh, master!" the one who pulled his hair out. "On further inspection of this human fur from our meal that we will devour today, it turns out to be just an illusion, where the sunlight distorts the blond color of his head. However if you move the human's head slightly, it does look like a mass of a snowy field."
…
"So…my head is generally…white?"
"Pretty much."
"You're telling the truth?!" he cried, tears almost springing out from his eyes.
"Hardly."
"Which is it?!"
(Coco: I pass thee torch to Lit!)
(Lit: Hah? Wah?)
(Demi: WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!)
(Lit: -sweat drops-)
---Meanwhile…
The other six host club members were getting a bit bored. Their eyes roamed around, meeting al the other five pairs before Kyouya coughed.
"We should save him right about now."
Haruhi shrugged; Hani ran over to the cupboards to… do something; the twins looked at each other raising a brow each; and Mori… Mori just stared. They all turned silently to look at the small senior.
"To save Tama-chan, we need a ransom!" The blonde shoved cakes and tea into each of their faces before putting into a basket that Haruhi had bought for doing laundry… Where did he even get that?
Hikaru blinked, before shrugging, "Well, if we can't save him, it's okay."
Kaoru tapped his cheek, "Plus the field is… pretty nice."
Said courtyard was basking in sunshine, many different trees scattered about the area; they could almost make out a… white blob. But that wasn't what they were concerned with.
"Incredibly shady," Kaoru commented, looking around at the landscape. "It…is very shady…"
"The grass is also soft," Mori commented, taping the vegetation under their feet experimentally. Honey nodded and clutched his pink bunny close to him as he felt a strong wind blow at his light blonde hair.
"And it's windy…"
"The sun's not too hot," Hikaru said randomly, looking up through the holes of the tree they were standing under.
Kyouya whipped out his laptop that he had tucked underneath his arm. He pushed his glasses up, and it gleamed in the little light that was provided. "As well, this is a perfect area for wireless connection…"
Haruhi only said: "Huh?"
---Minutes with the Monkehs.
"And then the princess went with the prince…and they lived happily ever after even though it's a common cliche," a monkey said monotonously, holding in his furry hands a story book. Tamaki sighed in contentment as tears dripped down his face comically.
"Ah. I remember that my mother used to read those to me, every day…and every night-"
"Any other requests before you get eaten?"
"YES!" he burst out, struggling against his bindings. He looked imploringly at the monkeys, "Can you get me Yaki Manju?"
They stared their monkey-eyed stares. "What kind of request is that?"
"I'll…tell you," Tamaki said wistfully. His ocean-blue eyes adopted a nostalgic and distant look as he gaze beyond the mass of monkeys and into the very same spot where the rest of the host club members were gathered. "A day I have walked out, not far beyond the doors that led to my house. I came across a merchant's cart, and the man who was dressed in all white was selling his Yaki Manjus. No one paid attention to him, and they walked on by ignoring him. Alas, I decided to walk and purchase this commoner's goods. As I ate the steaming Manju, it tasted heavenly upon my tongue. Oh, the warm sensations of a homemade Yaki Manju! It cannot be matched with even the finest chefs in all of France! I bought many more Yaki Manju after that, and the man cried, thanking me over and over, and dropped the price down to 300 yen. All the warm memories we have forged with the help of Yaki Manju!--"
"Someone get the blasted human a Yaki Manju!"
"You aren't going to listen to the rest of my story?"
"…No."
---Back out in the writing universe
"And...done," Demi said as the words stopped appearing. Everyone placed their writing mechanism on the table and watched as Demi opened a pack of cookies. She shared among everyone, and they bit into the cookie, while she emptied them out into a glass bowl. "Wow. That was tiring. That was…interesting…?"
"I think I'm tired from writing. Gosh, maybe I should use a laptop more often," Sam commented, taking another cookie. This earned laughter from Demi and Coco. Literate stayed silent eating her cookie. Coco shot her hand up and Demi nodded at her.
"Do we have a plot?"
"…I dunno."
"I like the cookies," Lit said, devouring more cookies. Alas the writers encountered a problem. The cookies were no more. And they saw one more cookie lying in the bowl. They gave each other a determined stare and…
"IT'S MINE!!!"
-RAWR…to be continued. Horribly short. MY GOD!-
A/N: And I wonder what will happen. o.o Anyways. This is a parody, but I'll make the best out of it. Reveiw, reveiw, reveiw:D Thank you for reading this strange...strange...fiction. :D
--Demi